Looking through her eyes
by Iscratchandbite
Summary: Alexis has Edward back, and her and Jacob are still good friends, so everything is great ... right? What will Alexis do when Victoria comes to play. Step into her shoes version of Eclipse.
1. Prelogue

**Hello again, and thanks for continuing to read this series. I have to warn you though now before you get your hopes up, I am very unlikely to update this as regularly as my other stories. It's probably better to aim for once a fortnight than every second day. **

**This story may end up shorter than the last, with a really long Breaking Dawn, or longish length with Breaking Dawn the same, because I have very little planned for this book and so much more for BD.**

**With my book and my current inability to write it's going to be hard to finish this story, but I will try. I just have to grit my teeth, sit down and write, rather than all the other things I end up procrastinating with. I really should finsih this before I get a job, but that is unlikely. Don't worry too much though, because I have started, but it does seem a little, um, jumpy, as I didn't ever sit down and write a whole chapter, I kind of wrote, drifted off somewher, and came back and wrote a little bit more.**

**Okay, so that was a long AN, and I'm sorry, but I had to put my thoughts down somewhere,**

**So without further delay, here is the start of Looking through her eyes**

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><p><strong>Looking through her eyes<strong>

**Preface**

Victoria was pacing back and forth in the large room. The concrete walls were grey, and it was quiet. If she were human, it would be cold. Luckily for those chosen humans, they wouldn't have to stand the cold very long, the change would feel like fire, they'd be warm.

Victoria smiled lightly at the irony, the expression quickly falling as she thought of the purpose the humans held. She hadn't changed many yet, and half of those she had intended to change ended up being dinner instead.

She was doing this all because of James, because her mate, her other half, had been killed. Just the thought of him was physical pain, a yearning and loss so harsh she grit her teeth, cutting the inside of her cheeks with her sharp teeth. She hissed at the pain, sinking to the ground to wrap her arms around her legs, as if curling in on herself would extinguish the hole in her chest.

Hatred was the only thing keeping her from taking her own life, hatred for the Cullens that had killed her mate, hatred for the human that had caused this all.

She had been so close! She had the human in her grasp, taking her somewhere to make her ending slower. But the human was smarter than she thought, and much more powerful. She had been the bait, and Victoria had almost fallen in the trap.

The wolves were the human's protectors, not that she needed too many. Victoria's jaw clenched as she flexed her muscles reassuringly. She hadn't known a human could have such strong gifts while being human, though from what she knew of the Volturi there were signs of who would become the gifted vampires. She hissed at memory of the Volturi, the governing body that had killed most of her first coven. Then she hissed once again at the memory of the human.

The mortal had forced her to do something! Victoria felt the phantom feeling in her arms as they disobeyed her mind, obeying the human's will rather than her own. She flexed her arm again.

And then the human had goaded her! And she had lost her temper! She should have just taken the human and ran there and then; maybe the wolves wouldn't have caught her. If she had just knocked the girl unconscious, she wouldn't have been able to make her stop running.

If, if, if, Victoria side. If only James hadn't been so stubborn and tracked the human. If only he had picked a girl not under the protection of the second largest coven of vampires. If only the human hadn't been born!

But ifs got Victoria nowhere. She could only move forward, continue with her plan. The coven, even the human, was very smart. She would have to be careful.

And she would have to be quick! Any day they could be changing the human, and if her gifts were so strong as a human, how strong would they be when she was changed? Victoria shuddered. Yes, she would have to move quickly and efficiently, she'd wasted enough time already, checking to see if she could get past the wolves, and now the Cullens, to try and reach her prey.

Victoria stood, and with that resolve to move quickly, stalked into the night.

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><p><strong>By the way, I am going to try to make this different than Eclipse, make it a little more interesting to those who have read the third book as many times as myself, though unofrtuneately I can't stray too much. I hope I can just do this book justice.<strong>

**I got my 1000 reviews with follow in her footsteps, so I won't demand reviews, but I would really like to hear your thoughts, so please polease please revioew anyway.**


	2. Secret

**You've been waiting for it so here is the first chapter of Looking Through her Eyes, the answer to the last stories cliffhanger, the introduction to Eclipse, the third book in the Alexis version of teh Twilight Series. **

**Nothing much else to say but read on!**

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><p>1. Secret<p>

Edward was back, and I was still friends with Jake... kind of, so why did I feel so... not happy? Well, I was happy, I was ecstatic half the time, and the other half I was worried and guilty and just so confused.

For one reason, Victoria was still out there, in Seattle, and I knew she was already starting to hatch her plan. I was wracked with guilt and hatred as I thought of her doing this to innocents; hatred because she was doing it, because of her evilness, guilty, because it was all my fault.

The second reason, the biggest, was my feelings towards Edward and Jake. I was... kind of... god, I felt like I was such a user. Well, technically, I was.

I loved them both, which had become extremely prominent in the last week or so since Edward came back. I knew I loved Edward, and every moment I hurt him it was like hurting myself, and I know that sounds lame, but it was true. But, I loved Jake too, if not nearly as much, and I didn't want to hurt him. So, I was kind of dating him too.

When I was with Edward, I forgot about Jake. When I was with Jake, it was almost the same, except I always remembered to stop when we were about to kiss. Yes, I know, I was terrible, and as much as I knew my dividing attention between them all was hurting them both, I couldn't stop. So, I've been trying to find a back door, a way to make Jacob quit on me, rather than the other way around.

At first I thought maybe I'd act like a bitch around him... or bitchier than I already am. But then I remembered I was dating Edward while kind of seeing him, and I think if he was still willing to see me after that level of bitchiness, well, I knew acting snobby wouldn't do much.

So, I decided to try and force him to imprint on someone. No, not on my child, I'm infertile, I knew it, I accepted it, and I knew that the ending of Breaking Dawn couldn't come true because of this fact. So, I knew I had to find him someone. It has been pretty awkward; I didn't want him to figure out what I was doing. Jake hated absolutely anything to do with the idea of imprinting, and completely disagreed with my soft suggestion that it might be better I he did.

But, I had seen him staring at me oddly sometimes, like, I don't know, he was trying to force himself to imprint on me - yeah, not predictable at all.

So, I had to experiment on how this whole imprinting thing went. Firstly, I stole a picture of Rachel, Jacob's sister. I stole it while he was sleeping (going so early was a struggle, as Edward kept trying to 'distract' me, telling me I could go later, to stay with him for longer). Then I had to go find Paul. I decided to wait until a time it would be less, suspicious, to show him. So when I visited Emily's, surprised she still welcomed me just as warmly as before the Cullens returned, I showed him the photo.

"Don't tell Jake, but I found the funniest photo of him when he was a kid," I had said, laying the photo on the table. Of course, I had to show the embarrassing photo to Embry and Quill too. Jared, Jake and Sam were on patrol, it was the best time to show Paul.

The photo was of Jake when he was really young, squirming and making the biggest 'something stinks' expression on his face, as his sister - about 14 years old at the time - gave him a tight hug. Embry and Quill had immediately congratulated me, making jokes. Paul had stared at the photo for a good, I don't know, three minutes, completely not saying anything.

He had a big frown on his face, his lips pursed. I would have said he looked constipated, but I didn't really want to ruin his concentration. Instead I kept my amusement to myself. Of course though, Quill and Embry hadn't been as polite.

"What's with you?" Quill had asked.

"Did your teachers ask you to learn your one times tables?" Embry had gasped.

Paul pushed him off his chair, and he fell laughing, jumping right back up like he was made of springs.

"No, and I know my times tables," him defending himself made the guys, and admittedly me, start laughing. "I just had like a really weird feeling. Does anyone know what Rachel looks like now?"

"EW man, you got a crush on a fourteen year old?" Quill said. Oh, if only he knew he would get one on a two year old. I still shivered slightly thinking of it, it seemed the very worst kind of paedophilia. So did Jake imprinting on Renesmee, for that matter.

"No, I um... I don't think I do." I suddenly did a little happy dance in my head. Okay, I didn't, but I suddenly felt very cocky with myself. I was right, you can imprint on a picture, though it didn't really seem as strong as when the saw the person in flesh.

Quill and Embry's eyes suddenly widened, and they gulped, already guessing what I knew was happening. "You didn't," Embry gasped, genuinely this time.

"Aw man, Jake's going to kill you," Quill said.

"What, what did I do?" Paul said, eyebrows as deeply furrowed as before, but this time in confusion. He looked pretty hot when he wasn't mad, but he kind of did when he was mad too. God, why must all the guys around me have to be good-looking? I didn't really have feelings for Paul – who could? – but I was glad there was a Mike Newton around to dull the cuteness.

With Paul, Embry, Jarred, and yes, I have to say it, Quill, they are all pretty good-looking, but it's the same way I feel around Emmett and Jasper, just not attracted to them despite their looks.

In the pause in which I had been thinking, no one answered Paul, and he sat still in confusion until light and slight horror dawned in his eyes. "A hell no!" he yelled.

I had smirked a little bit, once again revelling in my win. "I think you just imprinted," I said.

Paul put his hands over his head, smashing it to the table. The wood sounded more breakable than his forehead. "God, Jake is going to kill me."

So since then I had gotten as many photos from any girl and tried to sneakily make Jake look at them all, which was pretty hard and tiresome. I pretended to make him look at the clothes they were wearing, to tell me what I should wear, and then asked if the clothes suited the girl's face. After only two days of this he got annoyed and threw the photos at me, granted the stacks were pretty large. But I still couldn't let him get away with it, so we ended up having a paper snow-ball fight.

The next way I had made him go into town with me, in parks, in shops, even one day at the closest park – which was suck-ish and small. Still, nothing happened, except for Edward getting annoyed – as much as he tried to hide it – about me spending more time with Jake than he thought necessary. Whenever he protested though I pointed out he'd given me his word, quoting that he'd promised me anything I wanted in the world to marry him. He usually mumbled a little after that, but reluctantly accepted whatever I wanted to do.

I still felt guilty even just thinking what I was doing to Edward, but I told him about it and he understood, I think. But, he'd left me, so he deserved to know of the consequences of that action. Yeah, I still haven't forgiven him yet. I was trying but... well, he'd put me through a fucking lot. I was allowed to be a bitch to him, Edward, not Jake.

And now, to maybe the most important, but still not the biggest reason I felt so many torrents of emotion in me; Alice knew my secret. She had taken it remarkably well, only refusing to talk to me for only an hour! She was still pretty iffy on the subject that I hadn't told her for so long – despite my arguing that I couldn't tell her for the past few months because she wasn't there – but she also seemed kind of happy that she was the first person I told. Never mind that she could well be the last person I told, she seemed to think I would tell everyone eventually, and was happy to see how long she could keep the secret for.

"My record is 50 years," she had grinned. "I don't think you'll need that long though, you'll probably crack before me."

"Well, my record is my whole life, try to beat that!"

"I already have, 18 years, puny," she shook her head.

"Hey, keeping a secret when you're a kid is much harder than when you're older, so that counts for like quadruple points. Therefore, if my calculations are correct, I've been keeping a secret for 72 years."

"What is this big secret anyway?" she laughed, completely disbelieving.

"I'm not telling you!" I grinned, laughing. She giggled too, her beautiful bell-like laughter making mine sound like a dog barking.

She didn't have to know my secret, no one really did. That I hadn't ever had someone love me, that I had to pretend to love my adoptive parents, pretend my life was great and normal. I didn't have to pretend anymore, but she didn't need to know. She didn't need to know much of my life, it was pretty bad.

Like one question she asked, that I really only half answered. "So, how did you get here anyway? You said you're from another dimension, and all this is like a book. So how did you transfer from that world," she waved her hand vaguely around the room; "to here?" she patted the bed.

I had sighed, the motion steeling myself. I looked into her golden eyes, hoping I was still as good as at lying as I had always been. "I died, and God thought I should have a second chance. I guess the cycle of reincarnation is real, just not only in one dimension." I grinned despite the seriousness of my words, I felt weird acting like some guru from India or a Hindu speaking about reincarnation. "I guess with me though, he didn't want to start from scratch."

"So there is a God," she whispered, and I immediately felt awkward. I knew there was a god, from my own experience, but talking about religion was still iffy for me, as it probably was with most people who were not zealous fanatics. "How did you die?" she asked suddenly, breaking me from my embarrassment.

"I got struck by lightning in a field." It was true, technically, and it didn't even sound like I was leaving anything out to me.

"Why were you in a field in a thunderstorm?" she asked.

"I like fields," I answered, knowing the more focused her questions got, the worse my answers were going to be.

Sure enough, she was frowning, the crease in her marble forehead reminding me of the time when we were about to leave to go to Volterra. It felt like such a long time ago now, even though it was only a couple of days at that time. It felt even longer now that it had been a week.

"Why are you lying to me, Bella?" Alice asked, her voice quivering. She jutted out her lower lips, eyes widening into a puppy-dog-look that could rival any month old Labrador.

I had sighed; I didn't need to tell Alice. She didn't need to know... right? I wondered if she knew about Rosalie, and knew she had to know, if not the full story. If Rosalie could tell her, I could too, right? I mean, Rosalie could be secretive, bitchy, and I wasn't any better than her, worse in some aspects. So if Rosalie could tell, could trust, Alice with the story of her demise, I could too, if in very vague terms.

So I did, I told her as vague as I could, barely a sentence. "I was almost raped, I ran into a field, and when the guy found me I got struck by lightning."

Alice had gasped, becoming a beautiful stone statue, not even her eyes moving. The only hint she was real, was her spiky hair, moving slightly with my own exhales. Eventually her glazed eyes moved, slowly turning to me, focusing. They showed all her shock, and a slight bit of emotion I really didn't like to see when people looked at me, pity. This was another reason I didn't want to tell anyone, I couldn't stand them feeling sorry for me. Oh, and I wanted an upper hand, wanted to know about stuff before it happen, and I didn't want them to reject me, a stranger, who jumped into someone else's life, but hey, that's just me.

"I'm so sorry B... Alexis," she whispered, catching herself before she used the name of the life I had stolen.

"Call me Bella," I had said to her, my voice almost a sigh. If she started calling me Alexis, I would feel like I didn't belong, like I was a stranger. I'd gotten so used to hearing Bella instead of my name that I doubt I would even respond to Alexis anymore, unless the person was obviously talking to me like Alice was.

"Where did the real Bella go?" of course, Alice had to ask this question, the dreaded one that made guilt flood me.

"I don't know," I responded truthfully, because I really didn't. I had wondered sometimes if Bella had taken my place, in my universe, and had woken up after being struck by the lightning. I really hoped not though. I hoped I died that day, and she wouldn't be forced into my position.

There were a few moments of silence, slightly uncomfortable on my part. I fidgeted on the side of my bed, wriggling on the covers. Alice sat still, her eyes slightly narrowed; behind her lids they almost looked glazed, as if she were searching the future. Who knows? Maybe she had been searching for Bella, the friend she never really had.

I had pulled my legs to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. I'd never felt so exposed, so in vulnerable, as I did in that moment. Well, maybe when Logan... I still didn't like to think about it. Alice had all the power. She could stand and yell at me, tell me how terrible a person I was, how I was a stranger and she never wanted to see me again. Or she could have accepted me, take it all in stride; believe she grew to be friends with me, not my name, or the life I had inhabited.

Luckily for me, it had been the latter. Alice had picked up on my nervousness, my fright of rejection. She had wrapped her cold, hard little arms around me. "I'm not leaving you Alex... Bella, I'm not leaving because of what happened. You're my friend, not this book Bella as you say, and I love you, not her. I'm sure everyone else will feel the same."

Then I had started to panic, the thought that she would tell, even though she had practically already promised she never would. "You can't tell anyone! Please!"

She had shaken her head, her voice serious. "I will never tell anyone, Bella. I was just referring to when you are going to tell. I know you will... eventually." She smiled, confident. I smiled sadly at her, shaking my head.

"Anyway, where are all these books then? I want to see how you're different to this book Bella, I'm sure you're much better."

I had grimaced at her chirpy words, pushing myself off the bed and heading to my wardrobe. I had hidden the books in my closet, under some loose boards, under my pile of shoes. I pushed the heels, slippers, ballet flats, and boots to the side, pulling at the heavy wood. Alice was then at my side, assisting in the lifting. She had hefted the heavy plank as if it were made of Styrofoam, grinning at my weakness. I had poked my tongue out at her, only to receive more giggles.

The bag under the wood, in the little dusty cavity created under the floorboard, was something I hadn't seen for months. I hadn't even touched the bag since I had hidden it, probably the first night I had gotten here.

It still held all my stuff, all the stuff I had so studiously hidden from this world. I could barely remember what was inside the cloth bag. I found out when I dumped the items onto the bed.

I had instantly groaned, feeling like a complete idiot. Along with the movies, books, and the movie Vampire's Suck, fell a pile of money. I hung my head. Why had I wasted all that time, degraded myself so much, to earn that money to find Edward when I could have simply taken this pile?

Alice seemed just as shocked as she saw the notes flying from the cloth, staring at them in horror. She must have come to the same conclusion as I had. But before she could say anything on the sum of money spilling from the bag, I had grabbed Twilight and all but thrown it at her, shoving the book under her nose.

"This is the first book," I had announced. She took it hesitantly, and I hurried to collect the notes. I had only just found a rubber band to tie the wad of notes together when she finished the first chapter. Man she read fast. Her golden eyes were running over the page so fast they almost blurred in her eyes, the whites merging with the irises to create and almost white gold colour. Her lips, bright pink with her lipstick, were perpetually pursed. Her brow seemed to furrow lower down onto her face the further she read into the book.

I sat by her side while she read, a second away from twiddling my thumbs. I felt bored, but every time I tried to do something, find something to keep my hands busy, I would find myself not focusing on the job, but on the vampire at my bed, so engrossed in the book she didn't notice my constant staring. I didn't want to miss anything, didn't want to look away when I should have been watching her, and miss that reaction that could tell me what she was thinking.

She had proceeded to then read New Moon, and even started to read Eclipse before I stopped her. I didn't want her reading it all right away, no matter how fast she read. I had already sat for hours, almost asleep, just barely keeping my eyes open to read her face.

Her expression rarely changed though, just that same crease in her brow, puckering of her lips. She was almost a stature, just her eyes moving.

I couldn't take it anymore! Halfway through Eclipse I had to stop her, ripping the book from her surprisingly loose grasp and throwing it across the room.

"Would you please say something?" I yelled, and then clapped my mouth shut, hoping Charlie hadn't heard.

Alice paused with me, her hearing stronger than mine. I waited until she nodded before relaxing, or becoming as relaxed as I could be while waiting for her to voice her opinions. I don't know what I expected her to say, that I wasn't nearly as good a friend as book-Bella? All I had thought was that it couldn't have been good.

So I didn't expect it when she said, "If you knew all that was going to happen, why didn't you stop it?"

I laughed the sound harsh and almost gasping from my relief. I sounded almost insane, and Alice watched me warily. I smiled at her reassuringly, my giggles already subsiding. "Sorry, I just, didn't expect that."

"So why didn't you?" she urged again.

I sighed. "I tried; I tried really hard not to let any of those bad things happen. Surely you've noticed the differences between the book and ... here?" I swung my arms around me, gesturing to the world where I now stood.

Alice nodded, but her frown deepened. "Why didn't you tell me earlier then? I could have helped you stop those things happening."

I shrugged. "I was, still am, worried you wouldn't accept me if you knew the truth."

Alice smiled. "I do accept you Bella, how many times will I have to assure you that? Everyone does, and between you and me, you sound a lot more fun than this Bella is." She patted New Moon beside her.

"But I also made more stupid decisions than she did, and I should have known better. James, Edward leaving, Victoria."

"About her," Alice's frown, impossibly, increased. "What's happening with Victoria, Bella? I didn't get up to that part in the book." She looked pointedly across the room, at the collapsed Eclipse. It looked kind of mangled and dead on the floor.

I smiled sheepishly at her. "Sorry," I apologised again. "Anyway, Victoria makes a newborn army." Alice gasped, I ignored it. "And she sends it to try and kill you all so she can kill me. In short, you have to make a pact with the Quileute wolves, and you beat the army just before the Volturi steps in. They see me... Bella... human, and warn you to turn me."

"About that..." Alice sighed. "In the book, Jacob seems so infatuated with Bella, and she seems to like him too. Is it like that for you?"

"Are you asking if I'm going to leave your brother to go run off with a teenage werewolf?" I asked, turning my awkwardness into a joke.

Alice didn't find it funny.

I sighed. "I... I think it's worse... worse than in the book."

"How... Why?" Alice asked, clearly disappointed, and mildly shocked by my words.

"Well, when Edward was away, you know, Jake and I kind of got together. Book Bella never did."

Alice gasped her golden eyes now wide. They looked at me now, with an emotion that made me edge away from her on the bed, outrage. "YOU DID IT WITH THAT DOG?"

"Alice," I whispered screeched, "Charlie!"

"I don't care; please tell me you didn't with..." I quickly interrupted her, shaking my head with a smile.

"No Alice, I did not do that. Still a virgin, though maybe you're brother will soon change that." I winked at her.

Her perfect white nose scrunched up, and a pillow came out of now where to knock me off the bed. "EW, Bella, you did not need to give me that mental picture!"

I laughed at her.

I still hadn't let Alice read any more of the twilight series, though she whined enough that I let her watch Twilight and New Moon. Of course, she had commented on how terrible the actors looked compared to her family, and herself, though she envied her actor's height.

And, she made a heck of a lot of fun of Kristen Stewart's lack of emotion, which I had joined in. Kristen did have a blank face most of the time, though it did, admittedly, suit the book Bella.

We had then watched the commentary with the actors. Robert Patterson was actually pretty funny in real life. But we both laughed far more when we watched Vampires Suck. I could hardly breathe, and Alice barely ever stopped, very lucky she didn't need to. My stomach ached for a couple of hours after watching the movie.

I just had to be careful Charlie didn't come down to check on what we were watching. Luckily, he didn't.

I did inform Alice of what basically happened in the rest of eclipse, and now we both had many 'shopping trips' and 'sleepovers' discussing just how I could stop it all from happening. I had suggested on numerous occasions that we all go to Seattle and hunt her down before she can make more newborns.

Alice didn't like that idea, thinking it might sound suspicious if we knew exactly what she was doing. I had to admit, she was good at keeping secrets, though it seemed unnecessary to me, as there had already been a couple of deaths in Seattle, though not nearly as many as the book had announced. I guessed I was just earlier than her.

Another thing I suggested was that she change me so we wouldn't have to worry, which, of course, she objected to, almost as strongly as Edward did. She wanted me to finish high school, and I couldn't really blame her. A few more months of being human couldn't hurt, a few more months to tie all the loose ends, find Jake a mate, and maybe get a honeymoon with Edward.

I had to force down a blush whenever I thought about the last part, even though I studiously avoided voicing that reason.

Even now, just thinking about it made me feel embarrassed, and an awkward giggle touched my lips.

I was driving to La Push, onto my latest attempt to get Jake to imprint. I knew the slight chance, but I had to do it, I couldn't stand to see him hurting.

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><p><strong>Hey guys, thanks for the six reviews for the last meagre chapter... it was really great because there were only like 7 favs, so almost everyone who fav'd reviewd! Thanks guys.<strong>

**Please review, I won't demand ammounts because that means I actually have to update when that number is acheived, but I would really like to hear your opinions, predictions, comments, ideas, criticisms and whatever else.**

**Review pretty please!**


	3. Blanket

**I know it's been forever, and I'm sorry, I just haven't found time for this. But seriously, I promise as soon as the swimming carnival is over I will put more time into this story. I've just been training really hard, and then there was school, and we got the house painted so I couldn't get on my computer... sorry.**

**So here's chappie 2...**

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><p>2. Blanket<p>

Jake was, as always, painfully happy-looking when he saw me. It broke my heart to see how sad and grey he looked, and how that instantly changed as he saw me. I needed to find him an imprint, and fast, anything else wouldn't sway him.

I saw plenty of girls eyeing him enviously, and giving me death-glares because he had entwined his hand in mine. I saw them, and sometimes tried to push him to the group of girl's too see them, spend time with them rather than me. Of course, this was only half of the time. I still felt this insane jealousy when I thought of another girl with Jake, as selfish as that was.

So, all I did was make sure Jake did look at each girl, but his eyes always seemed glazed and returned happily to me. It made me want to groan, it made me want to giggle in happiness, but mostly it made me guilty as I thought of how he was when I left, and how Edward was when I left.

Maybe it would be easier if I just did a Bella and dumped him for Edward... or maybe it would stink and I would hate myself forever for hurting Jake.

After all, it wasn't exactly a chore spending time with Jake. He was much more open than Edward, allowing fun and risky things, rather than making me sit and do something so safe I felt like I was being babysat. And Jake made me feel smarter, though learning from Edward was just as good.

And then they were both so sweet, especially Edward, who was so gentlemanly, and beautiful and... I sighed, I needed to stop thinking of Edward when I was with Jake, and it only made me feel torn inside.

So I put my mind on the task at hand, and smiled at Jake as he led me inside his house, his hot, huge hand already twining around mine. It was such a different sensation that Edward's hand around mine.

_Stop, stop thinking about Edward_, I chastised myself.

"Hey Jake," I said, my voice not showing any of the conflicting emotions in my head, consequently making the greeting sound a touch forced. "Do you want to go to Port Angeles with me today? I feel like going shopping." I grinned at him.

Jake groaned, but when I remained still, keeping my large smile, he achieved that suspicious look that had come more and more often on his face. He knew something was with me, but I studiously avoided answering the question when he voiced those concerns.

"C'mon, it'll be fun," I urged, keeping the desperate edge from my voice, though not able to stop myself from pulling at his hand.

"What's wrong with hanging out here for a change?"

What's wrong with La Push was, though it was a perfectly great place, Jacob had seen and grown up with everyone here, and since he had phased. I would find no imprints here, or would be extremely lucky if for some reason some new girl just waltzed into town and took his heart - lucky, or very unlucky. I sighed, I needed to get Jake out of here, to Port Angeles, before that possessive urge convinced me it might just be better to stay here, put off finding his soul mate for a few moments.

After all, it couldn't hurt, a few more days with Jake, or weeks ... or months.

Stop, I yelled at myself again.

"C'mon Jake," I said quickly, though my pause must have been noticeable. "I'll even visit a bikini store," I offered with a grin.

Jake seemed to ponder the prospect, barely even self-conscious at the slightly indecent suggestion. "That would annoy Cullen wouldn't it?" he grinned.

I didn't particularly like it when he started degrading Edward. Oh well, at least he referred to his last name rather than bloodsucker, that had to be some kind of progress.

"But I really don't want to travel today," he whined. I smiled at the expression. "Can't we just hang out in the shed, like we used to? I miss those times! I don't get to just hang out there anymore, not with all the shifts Sam has me running."

My plans for today instantly fell from my head. "You're running extra shifts? When, where, why?"

Jacob laughed lightly at me tone. I pulled my hand out of his and crossed my arms at that, waiting for his answer, trying to keep the anger out of my face and expression. I never liked Sam; I had some strange aversion to him from the very first moment I read about him in the books. Yes, he was okay, nice, but I still hated the fact he worked his pack so hard because he didn't trust the Cullens.

I don't know why I hadn't noticed the dark bags under Jake's eyes before; they seemed painfully obvious now, purple on his dark skin. His eyes themselves were bloodshot, and he stood with a slight sluggishness, like he was tired.

His words reinforced this fact. "Oh, it's nothing," he said, trying to blow it off as inane. "Sam's just got me running a few more hours than the other guys, you know, because I'm just better than the rest." He grinned, and flexed his arm, both motions ruined slightly by the tiredness of his actions.

"When, why?" I repeated the question, a hint of my exasperation colouring my tone.

He grimaced slightly, reluctant to answer. "Well, Sam doesn't really trust you're b ... vampires," he caught himself. "So, he's got the whole pack running around. It's okay really though, I can sleep in school. Who needs the night?" He grinned.

I frowned at him, uncrossing my arms and grabbing his shoulders, pushing him to the bedroom. I barely registered the 'Hi Bella,' coming from Billy in the other room. Jacob laughed at me, letting me push him. "Jeez Bella, so eager to get me into the bedroom?" he chuckled, voice slightly husky.

I growled at him, pushing him into the new room, and pushing him onto the double bed. He grabbed my hands as he fell, laughing as I landed on top of him. "Bella, my dad's in the other room," he whispered in a fake-shocked tone.

"Shut up," I yelled, wishing my hands were free so I could slap him.

Jacob laughed again, but with the disappearance of his mirth, he started to act more serious, his eyes travelling down from my eyes to my lips. He gulped slightly.

I suddenly became aware of my own position, lying with my body pressed flushed to his, the heat of his warm skin instantly travelling into mine. I could felt the hard planes of his stomach pressed against mine, his strong shoulders under my hands, still trapped under his large hands.

And then his neck was straining, and he was reaching up, to me, eyes still secured to my lips. I sighed, turning my head at the last moment so his lips pressed against my cheek. He echoed my exhale, sadness touching the edges of his mouth, his black eyes, his brow, now lowering into a small frown of disappointed.

"Jake, you need to get some rest."

"Not even a good night's kiss?"

My glare answered his question. He smiled softly, and obediently closed his eyes. I coughed, still locked on top of him.

"Nope," he said, eyes still closed. "You insist on making me sleep, you must be my blanket." I laughed slightly, though not sure if he was joking.

His soft snores answered me. I sighed again, pulling my hands from his slackened grasp. He stirred at the movement, head moving slightly, eyes fluttering behind his eyelids. I ceased moving, lying, feeling very much like a blanket, until the stirring stopped.

I wouldn't say it was uncomfortable laying there. It was actually nice, his hot skin warming mine in the cool Washington air, the soft flesh under me, the slow movement of his chest as he inhaled and exhaled. It was different than with Edward, who didn't breathe at all, whose skin was cold and hard as steel.

It was... nice. Ugh, why did it have to be nice? Why couldn't it be easy to choose between Edward and Jake? Why couldn't I be like book Bella, and easily be able to say I loved Edward more than Jacob? Yes, I did love my vampire, more than I think I could love anyone else, but every day, every conversation, every joke, made my love for Jacob rise. Ugh, it sucked!

And sitting here, lying on Jacob, where he could see no other girl's faces, wasn't helping the situation. I needed to find him an imprint. Maybe it would be easier if I told him that was what I was trying?

Or maybe it wouldn't, and he would refuse to open his eyes anywhere I took him.

"_I can't see any other girl, Bella! Because all I can see, all I can ever see, is you!"_ His words echoed in my head. I had asked him once, at La Push, when seeing a group of beautiful dark-skinned girls giggling at him, why he didn't date them. But Jake was so stubborn, refusing to even think about dating another girl.

"I'll fight for you, Bella," he had said, "until your heart stops beating."

And yes, he had the same reaction to talking about my changing as Jake in the book. He hated the fact that I would be changing after graduation. I had broken it to him very quickly, not waiting months like book Bella. In fact, it hasn't even been a month since the incident at Volterra.

He had reacted badly at first, shaking with anger, that tingling feeling from his body telling me he was about to change. At the last moment he had calmed himself down, just before I was about to step in and forcefully stop the phase with my gift, or at least try to.

And the yelling had come, and the admittance that he would wish instead I was dead. I had sat and taken the yells, waiting until he had almost made himself hoarse until I spoke. He had yelled about how he would have to kill me, the Cullens, when they bit me, violated the treaty.

"Jake," I had said quietly once it was quiet. I had paused, and made sure he wouldn't yell again, before continuing. "I'll still be the same, Jake. I'll still be me, just a little more durable. Besides, who said the Cullens would bite me? It's the Volturi that want to make sure I change, who says they won't be the ones to do it?" The thought of Aro's or any of the Volturi's teeth on my skin had made me force away a shudder.

Jake hadn't been able to reply to that, so I kept going.

"And who said the Cullens would bite me either? They can put their venom into syringes you know, and the treaty doesn't cover that."

Jake's jaw had clenched. "It's the same principle."

I had huffed loudly at that. There wasn't a way to convince him. I had to leave earlier that day; the atmosphere between us had been too awkward for me to stay comfortably. Of course, in our next meeting, that conversation was all but forgotten, or at least very well ignored. I tried to avoid that topic as much as possible now, and changed the subject almost as soon as he brought it up.

None of his arguments would sway me; I had no intention of staying human. For one, I knew from the books that I would still love Edward the same way when I changed. For two, I was infertile; no babies were coming out of my womb. For three, I knew the Volturi would be visiting sooner rather than later, and being a human for that visit didn't sound appealing.

I would be changed, just as soon as I was, ugh, married. Not that I didn't want to married, far from it, but I knew that it was just another delay to my changing, and I would most likely accept a honeymoon. I liked beaches that were warm, unlike La Push, and probably wouldn't feel like returning for a couple of weeks, or months.

I had discussed marriage with Alice, but made sure she kept her thoughts from the subject in case Edward heard. Still, she was extremely excited to plan the wedding. I was only upset about one thing, the fact that I couldn't celebrate marriage on a beach like I always had wanted.

I swear my life will revolve around water even when I am a vampire, even more so when I don't have the need for oxygen impending me, or fear of jelly-fish and sea monsters. Yes, the last part was a little, silly, but it resulted from boys teasing me with scary stories that I was young enough to believe.

And there could be sea monsters for all I knew; there were vampires, werewolves, and shape shifters after all.

I smiled slightly at my irrational fretting. I had my protectors to swim with me, even if most of the time it was only little Seth. Jake had to take shifts on the weekends sometimes, which I could only find out once I had driven to La Push. I hated to waste fuel in my thirsty truck, so I decided swimming could be fun.

And it was! Seth was just as good humoured as ever, if a little larger. He had phased, despite the fact I had saved his father. I guessed that meant Leah had phased too, though hopefully she wouldn't resent me as much as she did book Bella. I could barely remember why Leah had hated Bella in the book, but surely saving her father had to soften her up ... right?

I was surprised the siblings had phased already though. I didn't know when they had become wolves in the book, but I was sure it wasn't this early, 'was' being the operative word. I sighed, poor Leah.

I'd always thought in the book, if Jake hadn't imprinted with Renesmee he would have ended up with Leah. It just seemed to hint at the connection, especially in Breaking Dawn. Maybe I should've been trying to get Jake with her, rather than searching for an imprint that would solve everything.

Once again, that feeling of jealousy took me. It was silly, and stupid. I was quite happy with Edward, ecstatic actually, yet the feeling remained. I sighed again. I could only imagine how bad Leah felt if she had to watch Sam everyday with someone else, without her own Edward to hold her up.

Maybe I would try and set the two up. Leah may not be Jake's imprint, but she was something. But would he go for her, instead of me? That would almost be giving up in his eyes, giving up fighting for me.

Why did he love me anyway? What had I ever offered him? A few jokes, a few kisses, some fun, but so could a sister. I had made him do far worse for me, accompanying me to my work, keeping him up all night, ruining his studies by taking away his time, putting him in danger to protect me from Victoria, and most likely the worst part, stringing him along as if he might have a chance with me. I knew by experience bringing someone's hopes up like that could be like. I shuddered.

I didn't know how much time had passed while I sat there, thinking, arguing with myself in my mind, reflecting on my life, on his, but I slowly became aware that it was getting dark, and I had school tomorrow.

Billy seemed to realize that fact too, and rolled into Jake's doorway. His deep, black eyes took on that sad look quite common when he saw his son and I in a position he knew would just hurt Jake later. I wondered if he hated me for what I was doing to his son, wondered if it was nearly as bad as how much I hated myself.

"Charlie called, you should go, Bella," Billy said quietly.

I nodded sadly, carefully extricating myself off Jacob. He stirred slightly from the lack of weight on him, but was far too deep into sleep to wake. I smiled at his peaceful expression, the slight smile at his lips that I hadn't noticed before. I placed a quick peck on his cheek, and then tiptoed away from the bed.

Billy was already in the kitchen, watching as I closed Jake's door slowly, and hurried away from his room. His eyes were regretful as he regarded me, an expression that was almost as painful as the sadness. I looked down, away from those deep, black eyes.

"Could you ... reason ... with Sam?" I asked quickly, not knowing how to word my request. "Please, Jake needs more sleep and rest than he's getting." I didn't know if Billy had that power. I knew he was part of the council of elders, but I didn't know his position or even if the council had any.

Billy smiled sadly, just a slight upturn of his lips. "He's a werewolf, Bella. They heal fast."

"He still needs sleep. Sam should trust the Cullens, he doesn't need the wolves running double shifts - they can work together."

Billy's jaw clenched slightly, he didn't particularly like the Cullens that much either. The Cullens didn't like the wolves, but their treatment of them was gracious compared to the loathing all the wolves felt for the vampires.

"I'll ... try ... to reason with him," Billy forced eventually, through his clenched teeth.

"Thank you, and tell Jake I'm sorry." I was sorry, for leaving while he slept, for not being able to decide fully between Edward and him, for stringing him along, for ruining his life.

Billy frowned, but nodded. "I will," he said sombrely, then his tone brightened, back to the playful Billy I most liked. "See you later, Bella."

I grinned and returned to parting words, knowing I would be back all too many times, too many to be good for Jake or I.

I'm sure the starting of my truck woke up Jake, what with his hearing, but I didn't stop to say goodbye like I wanted, a plan to set him up with Leah already forming in my mind, and that couldn't happen if I didn't start slowly separating myself from him.

Halfway back to Forks, something banged onto the side of my truck. I jumped at the impact, my head whipping to the side, seeing a bronze and white flash before he was sitting beside me, grinning.

"I couldn't wait to see you," Edward explained, still grinning. I'm sure he could hear my racing heart rate, most from the fright that Victoria had slipped through, the rest from the beauty of his windswept hair over his gorgeous face.

Edward laughed again, leaning closer to me – nope, definitely half fright, half him. I didn't realize what he was doing until he seized the wheel, turning us just before we crashed into the tree line. I quickly turned to put my hands back on the wheel, chastising myself for getting distracted.

Well, when I was a vampire, maybe I'd be able to master the skill that all the Cullens seemed to have, of being able to drive while almost having their heads completely turned around.

"So, how was today?" Edward asked, lightly.

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><p>Aw, wasn't that sweet.<p>

Review guys, each review makes me update faster, yes, this update was faster than usual *gasp*


	4. Flashing

3. Flashing

I smiled, hiding my sadness, the lingering emotion from the reflections at Jake. Now I had gotten over, moderately, Edward's presence, the feeling returned to the forefront of my mind.

"It was okay."

"Did you have fun shopping?" Edward asked.

I had accidentally told Edward about me trying to find Jake an imprint. Well, kind of accidentally. Edward always looked really sad when I left him for a day to hang out with Jacob. After the first few days of pouting, of kissing to try and change my mind, and then all but begging for me to stay with him, I had told Edward of why I was hanging out with Jake.

Edward seemed a little happier after that. He still tried to subtly convince me to stay with him, but refrained from begging, or kissing me to near unconsciousness.

"No, we didn't actually go shopping. Jake was really tired, I made him sleep." I smiled slightly at the memory, and then frowned at memory of the source of his lethargy. "He's been running extra patrols; Sam doesn't trust you Cullens to hold up your end of patrolling."

Edward's eyes rose. "Really, that sounds remarkably like our own families situation."

I groaned. "I swear, you are both so... species-ist."

I knew Edward was raising an eyebrow, I could hear it in his voice, as well as the amused smirk that had to be at the edges of his mouth. It made me want to turn my head, to look at it, but I forced myself to keep my eyes on the road, off the absurdly beautiful vampire at my side. "Species-ist?" he asked.

"Yes," I sad stubbornly, "you are both so species-ist, degrading people because of their species. It is very silly, and stupid, just like racism." I ignored the quiet chuckles from the passenger seat. "You need to put aside your differences and learn to work together. You'd do much better if you did."

"I'll talk to Carlisle about it," Edward promised, his voice no longer amused.

"Or, you could talk to someone who could make more difference, like, I don't know, one of the wolves?"

Edward sighed in reply. I saw in my peripheral that he was pinching the bridge of his nose. It was a few minutes before he spoke again, and we were already at my house. "I'll still talk to Carlisle. I don't make decisions on behalf of my coven, Bella."

I nodded, seeing the sense in his words. I guess it was hard to think Edward wasn't important in his coven, though I knew he wasn't the leader. It's just his decisions seemed to have so much more impact than most of his other siblings, excluding, sometimes Alice.

"Okay, but puts lots of stress on it for me."

He nodded, and suddenly his expression brightened. "I'll see you when Charlie goes to sleep."

I grinned at him. "See you then!"

888

I was lying in my bed, showered, fed, teeth cleaned, but feeling no hint of lethargy from the nightly rituals. Maybe it was from the extreme inactivity of the day, maybe from the fact I was waiting for my vampire.

Alice and I, to keep up pretences, did actually have to buy things on our 'shopping' trips. Tonight, I was wearing one of those resulting purchases, anxiously waiting to see their affect.

Yes, I was wearing a gorilla suit. Of course I was wearing new lingerie, what else would I be hoping to see Edward's reaction for?

I wore a long white shift over the top of the clothing, a detail Alice had loved to make just as much as the actual underwear.

Alice had watched Vampires Suck as soon as she had seen New Moon. She had loved it, the scene this outfit related to particularly. I had a feeling she had ordered this clothing the day after she had seen the film, though from where I both didn't and didn't want to know.

Yes, I was wearing the flashing lingerie Becca had worn. At first I had laughed and out rightly refused when Alice suggested I wear her order. Soon though, the humour of the situation started to appeal to me, even more than the reaction of Edward did. The last part grew faster though, and now I couldn't help but fidget, waiting impatiently for his arrival.

Snores sounded in the other room, from Charlie, and I grinned. It couldn't be long now.

I had barely time to think that thought before he was there, climbing through the window, my favourite crooked smile on his face. His hair was slightly windblown from the run over here, tangled and unruly as ever. I just wanted to run my hand through it, knowing how smooth and impossible to tangle it was.

He raised an eyebrow at me, his golden eyes sparkling in the dark as they looked over me. Well, it wouldn't be dark too much longer. Not when I flicked the switch of this number.

"Bella, why are you wearing attire women in my youth would have worn to bed?"

That was what had made it even more hilarious in the movie, the 'innocence' of Becca, before she whipped out this get up. I could barely keep myself from giggling now. "Well, I thought it might be a change. You know, a little happy reminder of your world. It must be hard for you in such a changed time."

Edward looked confused; maybe I hadn't hidden the mirth enough from my tone. "No, seriously, why are you wearing that?"

"I'm serious; I'm trying to spark your memory!" I said, smiling, patting the bed beside me. That time I hid all the mischief from my tone.

He moved slowly, for him, to my side, shaking his head. "Oh yes, you're bringing back memories, Bella, of my mom wearing something like that. It seems a little – lot - wrong to see it on you, especially because I still want to kiss you." His voice was exasperated, at himself or me, I couldn't tell.

I grinned at him, bringing my hands to the hem of the nightdress, pulling it up. "Maybe I should remove it then." I pulled it quickly up before he could stop me, flicking the switch at my hip before he could stop me.

The yellow and green lights flashed, lighting up his gobsmacked face.

I couldn't hold back my laughter now, clapping my hand over my mouth just in time to quieten a round of laughter that would have surely woken Charlie. I waved my free above my head to find a pillow, and quickly brought it over my head to laugh.

It was probably a good five minutes before Edward spoke, and each time my laughter subsided I only needed to look back at his frozen, almost frightened, face before a new round burst from me. My stomach was aching by the time he gained enough focus to speak.

"Bella," he growled. The sound made me laugh again, or at least I started to, because soon the pillow was flung from my mouth, and hand was flung behind my head, and his own stone hard lips were smothering my laughter.

I laughed while kissing him for only a few seconds before the moment started removing my mirth. I wrapped my stocking clad legs around his waist, rolling so I was on top, the leather, flashing underwear resting at his gut. My fingers were tangled in his hair, knotting with my own locks as they fell into his face.

I pulled a hand away from his hair, trailing it down to his neck, concentration removed from the kiss for a few seconds. Edward kept hungrily kissing my mouth, my jaw, my neck, his hands groping my waist, my ribs, almost painfully, but in a good way.

I pressed against his neck, pulling his thirst from his body into mine, as always amazed by how much it hurt. How could he stand being around me? I could only handle it because I was sure vampire cells were much more sensitive than human ones, and smothering my thirst didn't mean taking a bite out of Edward.

Thoughts of the thirst quickly evaporated as Edward once again seized was lips, attacking them with his own. I ran my tongue over his lower lip, as smooth and cool as ice, though the taste couldn't be compared to any ice-block in existence.

His own tongue traced my own lips, and then tangled with mine, his cool breath blowing sweet tasting breath into my mouth. My hands greedily roamed his body, slipping under his T-shirt to trace the hard planes of his muscles, the slight grooves between his ribs, the bumps of his backbone under his smooth, white, perfect skin.

His own large hands travelled over my body, bringing heat under their touch, rendering their cooling effects obsolete. I was panting through my nose, refusing to release his mouth for air. Who needs air anyway?

Then one of his cool fingers touched the bottom of my black, leather bra, touching the base of my left breast. I couldn't withhold my gasp, releasing his mouth.

As soon as the sound escaped my lips he was gone, across the room. I fell against the bed, panting so loudly I was worried Charlie would hear me. I forcibly quieted my breathing, slowing it despite my heart's protests. I didn't need to look after my heart anyway; I wouldn't be using it much longer.

Edward had his back to me, hands braced on the closed door frame, his back tense under his shirt, that I was semi-happy to see was rolled up to his hipbones. Of course, I was sad that he decided to be across the room from me too.

"Edward," I said quietly.

"I'm sorry Bella," he whispered back, even quieter than me. His rich voice was full of sadness. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "I'm afraid I'll hurt you."

This time I did shake my head, and swung my legs off the bed to walk to his side. I made my steps quiet. I didn't wear stilettos like Becca. That would have given me away.

I ran my hand over the bare strip of his back, angling my head up so I could speak right beside his ear. "I could take control then, if you want. You won't have to worry about hurting me." I smiled and kissed his below his hairline, moving my lips to suck on his earlobe.

His arms fell to his sides, clapping quietly at his thighs. He sighed, turning slowly, taking my hands in his own large ones, halting their exploration of his back. He turned, his golden eyes exasperated, as he looked at my hopeful expression.

"Bella, I'm not going to have sex with you."

I smiled. "I wasn't trying to force you into that. I just wanted to have a little fun." I pulled the hand that held mine towards the bed, getting as far as I would had I been dragging a house.

"Bella," Edward groaned, closing his eyes that had strayed to the flashing lingerie. "Could you please stop being so eager? It's hard enough to resist."

"Then stop trying." It seemed a logical enough solution to me. I tugged at his arm again.

"Bella," he said, his voice and face now serious. "Is it so terrible for me to try and keep a least one of my virtues? I have sinned, murdered, stolen, coveted, envied, lusted, and almost any other sin you can list. I need at least one sin I didn't commit."

I tried not to roll my eyes. "So, you won't do this," I gestured to my exposed body, "until we are married?"

"No," Edward agreed.

"Can I at least have a good night's kiss?" I asked.

Edward rolled his eyes, and swept me off my feet, my back landing on the bed in less than a second. Then he kissed me, almost as much as the kiss just a few moments before, but this one was alight with passion rather than lust, love rather than fevered need.

I was still gasping at the end; sure my smile was painful looking. Edward's mouth was stretched just as wide, his expression slightly cocky, my biggest weakness. I almost swooned at the expression. God, I was becoming just as bad as book Bella.

"Goodnight," Edward whispered.

"Goodnight," I whispered back, grinning as Edward pulled my usual nightwear over my head and legs, the warm long shirt and pants suited for the cool nights sleeping against a cool Edward.

Then Edward tucked me in, placing a kiss on my forehead, and settling himself down to lie by my side. I fell asleep with the feel on his cool fingers stroking my hair, his quiet humming echoing the tune of my lullaby through my ears.

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><p><strong>So, did you like? It was a little ... colourful.<strong>

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	5. Honeymoon

**Hello readers! I am posting this chapter in support of KONY 2012. You guys should do the same if you have a story, and put 'Support KONY 2012' into your stories summary. Not all of us have the money to change the bad things that happen in the world, but we can spread the word. Make Joseph Kony famous so he can be found and arrested.**

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><p>4. Honeymoon<p>

I woke up, and Edward was smiling at me, the smile half exasperated. "I suggest you get that off, and maybe hide it somewhere before Charlie sees it. He doesn't like me much already."

I looked down at myself, confused, then felt rather than saw the leather underwear under my long shirt and pants. I grinned sheepishly at him, and he chuckled lightly. "I'll see you at school. I'm off to yell at a pixie."

"Don't be too hard on her; after all, I agreed to wear it."

"Maybe I should punish you then," Edward grinned crookedly. I must have a dirty mind, because I swear I heard another meaning to that, and leaned forward for a kiss.

"Nope, no kisses for you, you're being punished." I pouted at Edward's words, and he laughed, before disappearing out the window.

I took the uncomfortable underwear off, stowing it under my pile of shoes, the opposite end to wear I kept my Twilight stash hidden under the floorboards.

Then I got changed into some clothes for school, ran a brush through my hair, had my breakfast downstairs, and brushed my teeth. Charlie had already left; my late night had made me sleep in later than usual. I was almost late to get to school; luckily Edward came to drive me there quickly.

School was ... not great. The teachers still hated me, my marks had fallen, and it seemed such a waste of time for me. Edward used to frown at my lack of attention in classes, but now chatted with me without any hesitation. If a teacher glared at me now, or threatened to give me detention, I would either ignore them completely, or both Edward and I would glare at the teacher until they became uncomfortable.

I got a lot of detentions. I did them, but hated them. The only good part of school was lunches, when I could spend time with my human friends, and detention took away from that.

Charlie didn't believe me when I told him that the teachers were picking on me. Even when I told him of the experiment Edward and I had performed, where I answered the same multiple choice answers as him. Edward had, of course, gotten 100%, but I had somehow achieved a C with the same answers.

Charlie had muttered things about teenagers, and then continued his work that seemed to be piling up on him. I rarely saw him without some form of work nearby; he even took some laminated pieces fishing.

Thursdays were an okay school day, as the classes before lunch had the teachers that had given up on changing me. I almost always had free lunches on Thursdays, unless the previous days detentions had bulked up. Today was a good day, and I could go to lunch.

Jessica was discussing her speech for graduation, and included me in the conversation. I didn't suggest much, as my inspiring speeches had a tendency, when concerning school, to put students to sleep.

Mike and Eric kept switching between suggesting idiotic or cheesy ideas. The funniest thing about it was the fact they didn't seem to realize how cheesy their words were. I was smiling the whole time.

Mostly I suggested the best things to wear with the horrid graduation robes. Alice even got involved, the humans finding her much less intimidating than Edward to talk to. I knew Edward would probably be very good at writing or editing a speech, but no one made any move to talk to him. For all the other humans acknowledged him, he could have just been my chair.

Edward didn't seem to mind the lack of attention, sitting so I could comfortably situate myself in his lap, absently playing with my hair. He did whisper a few suggestions in my ear for me to voice, and not surprisingly, those were some of the best suggestions.

Half way through lunch, Alice froze, eyes glazing. She was still for a few seconds, but in those seconds Jess chose to ask her which eye shadow she should wear on graduation.

"Alice ... hello, Alice," Jess waved her hand in front of the small vampires face.

Alice blinked, immediately turning back to the table as if nothing had happened. "Sorry, what did you say?"

"Nap time already, Alice?" Edward joked, the first phrase he'd said audible enough for the other humans to hear.

"Sorry," Alice smiled sheepishly, "I guess I just zoned out for a moment."

"That's okay," Jess asked, immediately launching back into conversation, speaking in her normal, fast pace. "So what eye shadow should I wear? I was thinking yellow, but would that be too tacky, you know, matching with the robes. Or should I go black? I mean..."

I stopped listening to Jessica, instead looking from Edward to Alice and back. Alice was looking to Jessica, her eyes slightly more focused on the chatting girl than they should have been. I could guess what she had seen, but still gave Edward a questioning look. He ignored the look. I rolled my eyes, looking back to the table.

I would ask him later, and if he didn't tell me, then I'd ask Alice, play along. I shouldn't know what she had seen, but I knew a lot more than I should have, on account of reading all the Twilight books. Eclipse just happened to be my favourite of the series, the one I had read the most, and I had it practically memorised.

Alice had seen Victoria, and Edward was going to lie about it before using the excuse of going to Jacksonville to whisk me away from Forks, from the danger. I wanted to roll my eyes at his protectiveness.

Yes, I wanted to end this thing with Victoria, and would most likely offer myself up as bait to distract her in the forest. There was only one thing that would stop me, my new mother.

Renee had peaked my interests. I had emailed her almost every week, and found her just as lovable and silly as book Bella described. The woman had such a happy, distractible mind that she couldn't keep one hobby for much longer than a week. Her childishness was endearing though, and sometimes I wished I could join in her adventures. I'd always wanted to skydive. Of course, I wasn't deathly afraid of heights and wouldn't have my eyes closed for the majority of the fall.

I smiled; I really wanted to spend more time with my new mother. She was so ... different, from my last mother, and so much better. Every phone call, email, letter, and gift had been filled with so much love it had almost hurt. I was still trying to get used to being so loved by a parental figure. Charlie never showed his love, or at least tried not to, and my previous parents put up with me, thinking me more as a means to an end than a daughter.

I couldn't wait to see my mom, in person. I'd only ever seen her once in real life, and that was only for a few hours before I left for Forks, and I was pretty confused at that time. I wanted to see her now, before it was too late. Esme was a great mother, but I wanted to know this life's real mother.

I found myself wondering if I had stories when I was a child, if she had baby photos of me, or if I just sprang into existence the moment I came, and all of Bella's photos and stories had been replaced with me, the new Bella.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward asked.

I turned, realizing I had been staring, and smiling, at a particularly bland tile in the wall. It had a small chip on its side. I wondered absently how it had gotten there. **(A/N, whoever tells me gets a reward, hint in Midnight Sun)**

"Bella," Edward asked again, running his cool hand up the back of my shirt. I squealed at the freezing temperature on the warm skin. Edward grinned. "Are you a bit sleepy too?"

I shrugged. "Well, I am in school," I explained. Edward laughed.

Biology was okay; our teacher was used to me and Edward talking, since we had done it before my insane phase. He just ignored us, only bothering to acknowledge our presence when he had to hand us something.

Gym was the most fun class, maybe the one I took the most notice in. Edward, however, took the least focus in the subject, bored by having to downgrade his physical abilities. He did like to, however, run or play sport beside me whenever possible, and comment on how he liked me wearing shorts.

I would laugh, and then either return the favour, or ask him to hide his pale legs. "They're blinding in this light."

And, of course, Edward would take it like a champ, because, well, there wasn't really anything wrong about him. Even his pale legs were muscled and on some degree sexy, though I really wasn't a leg girl. I hated when guys chose to wear skinny jeans, laughed at how they walked like they were constipated or their tiny manhoods were being squished by clothes made for women.

Edward never wore skinny jeans, none of the Cullens or the wolves did, though on occasion I had seen Eric, Mike and Tyler wearing them. I had no idea why Lauren and Jessica pretended to swoon at the sight. It wasn't pretty.

Now we were running laps around the Gym, on account of running outside was almost never possible as of how often it rained. I could currently hear the splattering just audible above the echo of voices in the gym.

The voices quieted to pants after the first few laps. I ran with Edward by my side, jogging peacefully, overtaking the show-offs who had decided to sprint the first few laps. Most of the guys didn't like being overtaken, and tried to sprint back in front, only to be overtaken again when they tired.

Edward chatted quietly to me as we ran, trying to disguise his words as panting. I was human, and needed air, so I let him talk while I made sure my rasping for oxygen wasn't as loud as the other humans. I was a little competitive.

And school ended, and I got changed and ran out of the school before any teachers could find a reason to give me more detentions. I was very happy I hadn't gotten any. I mightn't have any until next week! Maybe the teachers had finally given up. I mean seriously, if graduation wasn't so close I'd leave now. Charlie would be too busy at work to even notice. Okay, a few months may have been a little over zealous for wishing he wouldn't find out, plus in such a small town everyone would know.

So I would have to put up with school for a little longer.

"So, what did Alice see?" I asked Edward when we in his Volvo, speeding home.

"Nothing," he said too quickly.

"I know when you're lying Edward." And I did most of the time. This time I just happened to be sure of the fact.

He sighed, "Its Jasper. Alice had been seeing him in odd places, like in the South, though he has no conscious intentions for leaving."

I raised an eyebrow at him, knowing he could see it easily despite how trained his eyes seemed on the road. He was a vampire after all, perfect vision even in his peripheral. "You know, I don't believe you."

Edward sighed. "I'm telling the truth," he assured me, contrasting to the sigh. I raised my brow again, crossing my arms. "I swear it!"

I rolled my eyes, letting him win. Oh well, I'd just have to torture myself by going somewhere sunny with a beach. Oh, so very, very terrible. I hid my grin.

I did my homework at home, Edward sitting beside me, whispering sweet nothings in my ear, kissing my neck. It was a little distracting, but nice. I was glad he hadn't followed through with his threats to withdraw kissing.

I cooked dinner, and was in my room, looking at the newest email from Renee, when Edward used his excuse. He sat on my bed while I typed, playing with two small sheets of paper. "Remember these," he pondered after fanning himself for a good minute. I had just finished the email, Renee had queried about me and Jacob, and Edward, confused as to why I still seemed to spend most of my free time with Jake. Renee quiet obviously didn't know about the nights.

Edward handed me the tickets, and I noted how close the expiry date was, about a month away. The tickets to Jacksonville reminded me of my birthday party last year, and I smiled. It had been a great night, the day after ... not so much.

"Yeah, I remember them," I answered.

"So..." Edward prodded.

I rolled my eyes. "Subtle," I commented.

He chuckled slightly. "C'mon, why not? We're going to start having more exams soon; you'll need time to study. You might not have another chance soon."

I pursed my lips. "I know Charlie is busy most of the time, and hasn't bothered us much, but even he has limits. I don't feel like another yelling session."

"Who says he'll refuse?"

"Um, every girl who has ever had a father and a boyfriend," I said, exasperated. I was playing the Bella part pretty well, if I do say so myself.

"It can't hurt to try," Edward urged.

I sighed, hitting the send button on the email to my mother more forcefully for emphasis. I tried not to grin; I could easily be a stubborn Bella. I stifled any sign of this expression before turning around, and joining Edward to sit on my bed. He lifted an arm, and I shuffled under it. He draped it over my shoulders, squeezing my arm slightly, rubbing circles over the area.

"Please, I would really love to meet your mother."

"I want you to meet her too," _Oh, and I'd like to meet this person too, you probably know just as much about her as I do. _"But Charlie will be really mad. You know what he's going to think if we go off for a weekend together."

Edward smiled crookedly, the smile showing hints of confidence. "We'll be with your mother, what could we really do together there?"

"We do just fine here," I grinned, remembering the previous night.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Anyway, isn't Renee your appointed guardian anyway? She has the right to have you visit her."

I smiled, bobbing his nose. "But she's not your appointed guardian. You have no right to come."

He pouted. "Don't you want me coming?" His voice was painfully cute, though mischief in his eyes ruined his act of sadness.

"Of course I do, Charlie on the other hand..."

"Bella," Edward groaned, clearly tired of arguing. "Are you going to let your father govern your life? Besides, this might be the last chance you ever get to see your mother, properly. Graduation comes closer every day."

I let my eyes fall at the change of emotion, the tension growing in the room from the subject of my imminent change. I felt nervous at my next words too, not helping the tension. I wanted to broach the subject of a honeymoon, whether we should have one or not. After all, my luck didn't seem to be much greater than book Bella's, and I wondered if I should make the change sooner then she had, if for some reason the Volturi decided to show up early.

Edward noticed my tension, one hand rubbing soothing circles on my back, the other tilting my chin up so he could look into my eyes.

"Why do you always hide everything, Bella? I can't read your mind, so let me at least read your face, or body language. Give me a break."

I smiled sadly, "Now you know how everyone else feels."

He growled softly, but the sound was more of a joking reply than a threat or show of anger. "What are you thinking?" he asked after a few more moments of silence.

"I'm thinking, about us ... after high school."

"What do you mean?" Edward asked, his eyes lighting up hopefully. I knew too easily what he was thinking, that I was reconsidering my changing after graduation.

"You know how you said you wanted to marry me, and that you'd let me help Jake." Edward tensed slightly, a common occurrence when I accidently used Jacob's pet name around him. "I have my own conditions, but I need your opinion before I can make up my mind."

"Sure," Edward's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to guess what I was going to say. He didn't seem to find much he could make sense of, and instead kept talking. "I'll tell you everything, my thoughts, my head, my heart, it's all yours."

It still warmed my heart every time he casually declared his undying love for me. Okay, maybe more than warmed it, made it thrum happily is more like it. I smiled at my beautiful vampire, his announcement giving me more confidence. "I want you to change me. That's my first condition."

Edward nodded.

I continued. "Now, I need your honest opinion, with no innuendos or sidestepping the awkward answer." Edward nodded again; I gulped, feeling more awkward by the moment. "I need to ask you that without your thirst, how in control are you? I mean, when I take away your thirst for my blood, would it be easier for you and me to, um ... you know." Why did I feel so shy all of a sudden? Gosh, maybe lingerie does solve all the problems like Alice said, I definitely felt much more confident yesterday. Maybe that was because I could semi-hold my own looks-wise compared to Edward if I was half naked and he was fully clothed ... maybe.

Edward smiled at my awkwardness, though I noticed he had to gulp a little before continuing. "It would still be dangerous for you Bella. I know my brothers and sisters, and when they are..." he coughed. "Let's just say they get a little primal, and a little rough, regardless of thirst."

"Maybe I like it a little rough."

Edward shook his head at my words, pushing me slightly and dropping the arm from his shoulders. "God, Bella, do you have to be so eager? Haven't I already told you it's hard for me? I _am_ stuck in a teenager boy's body."

I grinned.

He huffed, pushing himself off the bed, and turning to me, arms crossed, his arms flexing deliciously. My mind had gone a little to the gutter, but I made sure to keep my eyes above his waistline. Lucky his face was so good looking, I might not have had the strength to look away from the pecks under his stretched T-shirt. "Bella," he growled - his voice more husky than usual, "keep your eyes on my face. I don't stare at your chest when you're speaking."

"I'm a girl, it's different," I said, grinning.

"Not much," he grumbled, and then coughed the deeper edge in his voice away. "Bella, must you torment me? I can't, not while you're human. I could break you like a bubble, snap you like a twig."

"Then let me take control," I suggested again, waggling my eyebrows. His fists clenched, and his eyes started to drop down, before quickly snapping up, over my head. I grinned, at least I had some affect on him, if not as much as he could have on me.

"Please, we'll have plenty of time for ... that... when you're a vampire, and less breakable."

I pouted. "Please, didn't you want me to have more human experiences?"

"Not that one, not with me when you're so breakable."

My hormone-driven mind immediately snapped to a mental picture that it really shouldn't have. I was very glad Edward couldn't read my mind.

I saw a picture of something else at his words, 'not with me'. Three guesses who I saw. Stupid werewolf had too good a pack of abs. I quickly snapped my mind away from russet skin with olive, annoyed at the fact it didn't seem as gross as it should have.

Edward didn't seem to find anything wrong in my pause. I was glad I could hide most of my thoughts, years of practice I guess. "Please Edward. Why can't you just try? You could stop whenever you felt yourself going over the edge, and I could always stop you if you're hurting me." I flexed my hand, referring to my gift.

Edward sighed, walking to the bed and dropping beside me with a huff, falling onto the blankets with a creak of the bed springs. "If I didn't love you so much, Bella, I'd hate how persuasive you were."

I grinned, tempted to say I had help, but that would lead to questions I couldn't answer. After all, if I said book Bella, he might start thinking I had a multiple personality disorder.

"Not until the honeymoon, I still intend in keeping that virtue." I nodded to Edward's condition, sealing it with a kiss to his lips.

"Okay, now I'm convinced, let's go tell Charlie."

"Really?" he grinned, eyes alight. "You want to tell him we're getting married?"

"No," I yelled quickly, shaking my head, my arms, anything I could to emphasize how opposed I was to that idea. "I meant, let's go tell him about Jacksonville, if we added marriage to the package I think Charlie would definitely have a heart attack, and I'm not excited to have another Harry experience." I had told Edward about my life-saving encounter with the man after Alice had hinted at it to him. I had to explain before Alice played it up to some huge rescue.

"When do you plan on telling your father about the marriage?" Edward asked.

I pondered that for a moment, "When we send out the invitations."

Edward shook his head, thinking I was joking. I wasn't. I guess that sounded a little rude, but I wanted to put it off as long as possible, or at least until Victoria was taken care of. Charlie had enough stress at work to worry about stress at home.

Downstairs, Charlie was half watching a game, half skimming through a file about the recent murder and the background of the victim. His brow was furrowed, his hand tense on the beer he held. He took a large, forceful swig, as if the alcohol would erase the facts in his hands. I sighed; maybe this wasn't a good idea. Charlie seemed dangerously close to becoming unhealthy with this work obsession, he'd already lost weight, eating less and less of the meals I made him, spending more time with his files and work in a day than he spent with me or Billy or any of his friends for a month.

I was worried about him. Maybe I should stay home, keep an eye on him, and make sure he ate the leftovers that seemed to be filling the freezer, the ones he had forgotten to either take or eat at work. I felt like a bad daughter just thinking about leaving him at a time like this. The books certainly hadn't mentioned this deterioration.

Edward noticed my frowning, squeezing my hand as we descended the stairs. I banged my feet louder than necessary on the wood; Charlie still didn't seem to hear. I coughed loudly, and Charlie stirred, frowning at the TV, wondering why it had made such an off sound.

Then, once seeing it was still playing normal football, turned to see me and Edward, standing at the foot of the stairs. "Hey Dad," I said.

"Hey," Charlie frowned, instantly suspicious. Charlie looked only at me, hostility to Edward rolling of him in waves. "You're down early, normally you," Charlie glared at Edward, "don't leave for another hour or so. Is it my lucky day?"

I ignored the jibe at Edward, as did he. I let go of Edward's hand to walk into the lounge room, sitting on the edge of the lounge Charlie had stretched his legs across.

"Dad, Edward and I have something we want to tell you."

Charlie turned purple, eyes widening, mouth gaping open. He turned his glare on Edward, eyes burning as if it could hurt the vampire. He tensed too, hands clenching on the lounge, his legs swung over the side as if preparing for jumping from his seat and running at my boyfriend.

"You got her p..." Charlie started, the veins in his neck almost exploding at his words before I stopped him, already knowing what he would immediately guess.

"No, Dad, it's not that." Charlie clapped his mouth shut, but still looked at us both suspiciously. I continued before he could start yelling again. "You see, Edward's parents gave me these plane tickets to Jacksonville."

"That's very generous," Charlie frowned at that. I swear I heard him mutter something about the price of a plane ticket before his frown deepened. "You said tickets, as in plural."

"Yes," Edward answered for me, "there are two, one for Bella and one for me. I would love to meet Bella's mother."

Charlie's face, which had returned to a pink pallor after I disproved the notion of my pregnancy, had started returning to the shade of purple that made me worry about his heart. At least he hasn't been eating greasy food lately, he didn't even notice the salad I put on his plate, stuffing it into his mouth as if he couldn't taste it.

"You are not spending a weekend alone with my daughter!" Charlie yelled, outraged at the thought. I was glad to know he trusted me so much.

"Dad, we'll be staying with Mum, we can't very well do what you are thinking with Mum in the other room." Charlie was still glaring. "Dad, Renee is my guardian; I'm allowed to see her whenever I want."

"But not with him," Charlie turned his glare from Edward, now acting as if the vampire was not in the room. "Not with any boy."

"Would you say the same if I wanted to go with Jake?"

Both men stiffened, Charlie gulped. "Yes," he lied terribly.

I rolled my eyes. "Dad, its a few days with Mum, you need to have more trust in me."

"I do trust you honey, just not him."

"You need to trust Edward too. He deserves to meet Mom, his parents even paid for it. C'mon Dad, please?" I pouted at my father, lip trembling, eyes sad, and a second away from whining like a puppy.

Charlie tried to look away from the look, but I could tell he was breaking from my over-the-top cuteness. "Okay," he eventually sighed.

I jumped on the couch and hugged him. "Thanks dad!" I squealed as I squeezed him hard. Charlie looked dazed for a few seconds then hugged me back awkwardly.

"It's okay, kiddo, you just look after yourself ... and stay in different rooms at night," he looked between Edward and me.

I giggled. "Sure, Edward can sleep on the couch." I grinned at my vampire boyfriend. He certainly wouldn't be uncomfortable there. Where you slept didn't matter much to someone who didn't sleep. The separation at night may be the only bad thing about the situation. "I've got to go pack, are there enough leftovers for you?"

"Yeah, unless you want to make a pie, there's always room for pie." Charlie grinned.

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><p><strong>Two things,<strong>

**Spread the word about KONY!**

**Review this story**

**Bye, love you all**


	6. Jacksonville

**Okay, I've been writing a lot these past days, and god, I write about Edward, I want Alexis to end up with him, I write about Jacob, I want her to end up with him. Would you guys be terribly upset with me if she ended up with both?**

**This explains a little of Alexis past in the Twilight world, hope you like it**

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><p>5. Jacksonville<p>

Edward and I arrived at the airport with plenty of time to spare before we had to board the plane. Charlie had insisted on driving us, which meant we had to leave insanely early to avoid missing the flight because of driver's slowing down at seeing a police car.

I was surprised he didn't trust me for that long. What were we going to do, have sex while Edward was driving? Actually, that picture didn't seem so bad. I tried to hide my smile, and forced my eyes to look away from the place they had settled on Edward's body.

Charlie was in the airport toilets, having held his bladder for as long as he could. He seemed insanely determined to watch us for as long as possible, though I knew he would soon have to get back. Charlie was taking work on weekends now, or reviewing files he can pick up at the work. It was early morning now, about an hour or so from when he usually picked up the work. I could tell he knew the time, he had been checking his watch every few seconds before he went to relieve himself.

"Charlie's going to be leaving now," Edward whispered in my ear, eyes just slightly gazed. I noticed his eyes had unconsciously drifted to bunch of teenage girls, who were giggling and stealing glances his way at the eye contact. I made a show of leaning closer to him, my head on his shoulder, his head leaning back on top of mine.

I smirked as the girl's shot envious looks at me, just restraining from poking my tongue out at them. They seemed maybe 15, more likely 14, and that seemed something someone older wouldn't do, though I couldn't say I was very mature.

And then Charlie returned, and gave a pointed glare at my new position. I just shrugged, moving slowly away from Edward.

"I've got to go," Charlie said reluctantly, shifting awkwardly.

"You don't have to work every weekend." I didn't particularly like him watching me and Edward, but I felt like he was spreading himself too thin, and I couldn't live with myself if the ice cracked while I was away.

"Bella, until this... this killer is found, I have to. All the surrounding cities of Seattle are doing the same, I'm just holding up my end."

"No, you're taking more than you can hold. Have a break this weekend, go fishing, read a book, sleep, I don't care, just don't work."

"Think of it this way, Bella," Charlie grinned the tired grin he had adopted of late. "If I'm working hard, I won't have time to miss you."

I know it was supposed to be sweet, and it was, but I was just too busy being stubborn. "No, stop working or so help me Charlie I will call Billy and make him drag your arse onto a tinny and throw your files in the water."

"You wouldn't," Charlie accused, but he seemed to actually believe me. I wasn't kidding either, I would call Billy, I had my mobile in my pocket and the plane didn't usually take off for at least half an hour, plenty of time to call my second best friend's father.

"Yes I would," I warned, "Jake's pretty big, he could probably carry you kicking and screaming." I grinned at the picture of my old father, at least twice as old as Jake, being carried in his huge arms, having a tantrum like a toddler.

"Alright, alright, I'll relax for a little while... if you promise me one thing."

"Sure," I said quickly, not wanting to change his mind, "anything."

When I saw the look in his brown eyes, the smirk under his moustache, I regretted my eagerness to accept whatever condition. "No sex," he said, earning a horrified look from a nearby old lady.

I hid my grin, as I'm sure Edward was behind me. "Don't worry Dad, that it definitely not a problem."

Charlie looked taken back, then regretful, thinking he'd wasted his wish. "Can I have another favour then?" I could guess what he was going to ask.

"No," I grinned, "I can't promise no kissing."

Charlie grumbled something that sounded like, 'How did she know?'

I grinned, jumping from my seat to envelop Charlie in a hug, squeezing my father tightly. He slowly raised his own arms, gripping me tightly. I could just rest my chin on his shoulder if I stretched slightly, and I used my height as an advantage. "Take care of yourself, Charlie," I whispered in his ear. "It's not just me who is worried."

Billy had been complaining about Charlie's workaholic state for a while, joking about staging an intervention, but his eyes held a tinge of seriousness, he was worried about his life-long friend.

"You too Bells," Charlie said gruffly past my hair. "You know, I'm worried about you too. Your attachment..." I knew he was going to say to Edward, and likely comment on how unhealthy my reliance on him, but I didn't spend time just with him, I spent it with Jake too. "Never mind, we'll talk about it later."

"Bye Dad, I love you."

"Love you too, Bells," Charlie replied, less gruffly than usual. "Don't like Jacksonville too much, I expect my cook to come back after the weekend." I smiled wider, stepping back to see his expression much less embarrassed than usual. Maybe I was growing on him, my influence making him less afraid to express himself. He was still blushing slightly, but it was cute. I wanted to hug my father again like a massive teddy bear.

Charlie left, leaving me alone with Edward, with about 20 minutes to while away before we started boarding the plane. Edward suggested we get a book, which I didn't want to do. Then he suggested we get some food for me, to which I replied. "I can think of something better that I want to do with my mouth."

Edward rolled his eyes, but soon we were hidden in between two stores, out of view, fully making out. I don't know why Edward insisted he was the mature one, because he was just as in to it as I was. I was certain my hair would be a mess when I came out. I grinned at what people would think.

"What's that smile for?" Edward asked against my lips, feeling my smirk against his marble skin.

"Oh, nothing," I grinned wider.

Edward pulled back, and I pouted, stretching up on my toes to try and seize his mouth again. He grinned at my eagerness, holding me back. For a moment I considered forcing his arms down with my power, but kissing an unresponsive Edward was like kissing a statue, not fun and slightly weird.

"Tell me," Edward commanded.

I pouted again, jutting out my lower lip into the best puppy dog look I could manage. Edward shook his head, keeping his eyes slightly above my own. I hid the grin that would ruin my expression; I knew I could affect him at least slightly.

"Please," he used my own look on me.

I groaned, and then smiled again. "I was just thinking what everyone else is going to think when I step out of here with this hair do." I pointed to my messed up head, Edward grinned.

"Do you care what they think?"

"Nope," I popped the p.

"Then neither do I, but I could help with this," he reached up one hand that had been restraining me to pat my head.

"A hairdresser too, what can't you do?"

Edward pondered that for a moment. "I can't play the bagpipes."

I laughed.

Edward fixed my hair and we walked out, hand in hand. I was surprised to find the plane had already started boarding. We hurried to the gate, and got into the plane. Edward let me have the window seat, saying how I was a much better view than anything out a window.

I watched as Washington disappeared beneath us, hand enlaced in Edward as he tried to distract me from the sight, or at least I thought that was what he was doing. He kept kissing my hand, my knuckles, my finger tips, turning my hand over so he could kiss my palm. It was very distracting.

I wondered absently if the flight attendants would have any problem with me kissing Edward on the plane. It might be a bad influence on the children, but I couldn't see any in sight. I leaned against Edward's shoulder, and found the female attendants did mind, glaring at the fact that I was with Edward. I smiled at them sweetly, I had fought for Edward, and I was sure I was prettier than most of them. I knew their jealousy was irrational, but why shouldn't I be with Edward? Apart, of course, from the fact that I wasn't really Bella, but they didn't know that. I think I've been through enough of Bella's life to say that I deserve him anyway. He had fallen in love with me, not who I was pretending to be... I think.

The plane ride seemed shorter than it probably was, maybe because I spent the time talking with Edward, and occasionally exchanging sweet short kisses, and placing pecks on his hands and arms. I was sure the attendants were fuming by the end of the flight.

The next terminal's wait was spent relatively similar to the one at Port Angeles. I had to keep my mind off where we were somehow; Seattle seemed much more intimidating than it had before. At the same time, I almost wanted to cancel the trip to my new mom, and go outside to try and find Victoria while I still had an excuse for being away for the weekend.

Of course, when I heard the announcer calling our flight, my nerve broke, and I stopped kissing Edward to run to the gate before I could change my mind. Anyway, Edward would never have allowed it. I chanted that thought in my head to reassure myself that I wasn't just chickening out.

I spent the longer flight curled up half over Edward, half sleeping on his cool form. Edward hummed my lullaby, contributing to my sleeping mood. I half listened, half fell asleep, entertaining myself with fantasies of what would happen on this trip to see my mother.

I didn't know what would happen, and I was slightly nervous. Did Phil like me? Did Renee love me? Did she only love Bella? Was I like Bella when I was a child, or like me? How would I explain my lack of memory for my childhood? Would she like Edward? Would she think I was wrong for Edward, since I wasn't Bella?

Okay, maybe I was a little more worried than nervous.

I was almost bouncing in my seat by the time that the plane started descending. Edward had to hold me down when we were taxiing towards our gate. He seemed to understand, and didn't question me. Maybe he thought I was just excited to see my mother. I was glad he didn't have Jasper's gift; him knowing about my nerves might have made him suspicious.

I was maybe the first one to stand in the plane, and practically ran off it. Instead of being hesitant to see my new mother, like I probably should have been, my nerves were making me anxious. I bounded off the plane; too see a remarkably familiar person staring back at me.

Renee looked just like me, or very similar. She had the same chocolate brown hair as me, though her streaks were a lighter shade, more golden than caramel. Her face was a little rounder than mine, and her skin more tanned, the olive tone more pronounced from the sun she received in Jacksonville that never almost appeared in Forks. Her limbs were slightly less plump than mine - age starting to make it more sagged. She had a few wrinkles around her mouth and eyes, ones I could barely see as they were covered by the normal wrinkling she was getting from her large smile.

Her eyes twinkled as she saw me, a lighter, almost grey blue, compared to my own deep blue. Her smile grew wider and she ran to me. I ran back to her, surprising myself at how happy I was to see her.

Her thin arms wrapped tightly around me, as did mine, and we both spun from the impact of our collision. I grinned widely and squeezed her tight, as much to balance myself as to enjoy the feel of it. Renee was shorter than me, a fair bit shorter. One thing that didn't seem to make sense in this world, Charlie wasn't that taller than me.

"Oh honey, I've missed you so much," Renee cooed in my ear, still clinging tightly to me as if she thought I would disappear.

"I email you every week mom," I teased.

"It's not the same," she muttered in my ear. I laughed.

She pulled back, examining my face with a little frown. "You look different," she announced.

"Um... thanks?" I didn't know what to say to that.

She laughed, "I meant in a good way, you look good different." She brushed some if the hair that had fallen into my eyes behind my ear, smiling. She brushed my cheek affectionately, and I sighed. My old mom never used t do this, the closest thing she'd done to this had been wiping makeup on my cheek.

Esme was a nice mother, actually a great mother, but I still liked this. It was like a new part of my heart had been unlocked, and could pump out love to my new mother too. It felt... good, like it was right. Until I was a vampire, I doubted Esme's cool touch could be as comforting as Renee's, it wouldn't be the same, I would always know that I wasn't really part of the family until I was a vampire, I was just the human Edward dragged along.

Renee's love for me seemed different, right, and unconditional. I was her daughter, she had to love me. Esme was just compassionate to everyone, like she would feel the same to anyone who needed it. Renee's love felt more exclusive, not given as freely, and the selfish part of me liked that.

A man was standing behind Renee, watching us with a slightly amused expression. He was younger than Renee, limbs still young and strong with youth. He was lean, obviously an athlete, and that was strengthened by the baseball cap covering his hair.

I felt odd towards him, and wondered if this was how most kids felt about step fathers. Firstly I was happy about him, he obviously made Renee happy, but I also felt slightly bad about him, like he was ruining the chances, however slim, that Renee and Charlie would get back together. But it had been years, and Renee hadn't made any moves towards Charlie, she obviously didn't return the feelings of her former husband.

I wondered since I stepped in, who would Charlie end up with? Not Sue Clearwater, I'd saved Harry, so who? Who would make my dad happy? I felt my smile fall.

Phil frowned when he saw this motion directed at him. I quickly replaced my smile, shooting him a small wave. He smiled back, if a little forced.

"So who's this?" Renee asked, breaking my contact with Phil. She was looking over my shoulder, a knowing smile on her face. Her voice had the hint of teasing in it, one of her eyebrows raised.

I flitted to Edward's side, lacing my arm around his waist. He draped his hand over my shoulders, smiling angelically. "This is Edward," I announced, proud to be able to say it without pause.

"Glad to meet you, Mrs Dwyer." Edward held out his free hand, Renee moved to shake it, but Edward turned it and placed a kiss on the top of her hand. She giggled slightly at the motion, a faint blush on her cheeks.

Behind my mother Phil coughed. Edward released Renee's hand, grinning at my stepfather. "Mr Dwyer," he said politely, moving away from me to shake the man's hand. I saw Phil's arm flex, and knew he was shaking Edward's hand and squeezing it with all his strength. I tried not to smirk; I still didn't particularly like Phil.

Was he actually threatened by Edward? Was it not obvious he was with me? I moved to Edward to take his hand, trying not to exaggerate the motion so Phil would see it.

"Hello Bella," he said to me, voice a little too formal for someone he should know pretty well.

"Hi," I said, without his formality. "How are the Suns?"

He grinned, happy the stiffness was away, or maybe happy to start talking more about himself. I don't think he knew much about me, I wasn't about to admit that the same could be said for me. "They're going great; actually, I have to leave to be with them later today. Sorry I couldn't be around for your visit." He seemed a little relieved, which was also returned by me.

"I understand," I said, hiding my relief with fawned sadness. He didn't notice, in fact, neither did Renee or Edward.

Phil drove us home. I sat in the car, leaning on Edward while chatting to Renee. Any conversation with Phil was slightly awkward, so I refrained from directing my questions at him. Renee noticed the avoidance, and tried to spur conversation between us. Her efforts were unsuccessful.

The house was a surprise. It was much larger than I thought it would be, and right beside the beach. It was great; I did have my own bathroom and everything. There wasn't a room for Edward though, but the couch looked comfortable, and I didn't think he would mind if it were a little stiff.

Phil left after we had a coffee. Edward declined the drink, voicing he preferred other drinks. I smiled at the inside joke, though Phil had seemed like he suspected Edward was an alcoholic. Renee, like a good host, offered Edward other drinks, he declined each one, taking a glass of water which he subtly pushed to me to drink after my coffee.

And I needed that water, boy was it hot there. The humidity seemed to be almost tangible, like it was about to rain at each moment. I found myself sweating embarrassingly, constantly wiping my hand over my brow.

After we caught up, Renee suggested that we go for a swim. I looked outside to the shining sun, and to Edward. He winked subtlety at me, and then turned to Renee with a groan.

He slapped his forehead. "Darn it, I knew I forgot something. I'm very sorry, but I forgot my swimming trunks."

"That's okay, Edward," Renee smiled. "I'm sure Phil won't mind if you take a pair of his. I'll even wash them so he won't find out."

Edward sighed. "I would, but I don't think we are the same size. I guess I'll just stay here, you two go on without me."

"Are you sure?" Renee asked, eyeing Edward critically; as if staring at him might tell her his size, or make his grow to Phil's.

"C'mon mom, Edward will be fine. Let's go have some girl time."

Renee gave Edward an apologetic look, before grinning at me and flitting to the bedroom, ordering me to change into my swimwear.

I found what would have been my room had I lived here. It was plain white, with empty cupboards, a new, unslept in bed, and a clean white carpet that was soft under my feet. The room had a large window which set the room alight with the bright sunshine. I smiled, it was empty, but it was pretty, a great guestroom for my mother's friends.

I quickly changed into my bikini, ignoring the ones Alice had sneaked into my bag. I stuffed them under all my clothes, hoping Renee wouldn't want to unpack it and spot the scrappy fabric. I hated to think of what her reaction would be.

I came outside to find Renee not ready. I waited a few moments, and then moved into the lounge, hoping she would be there. Instead I found Edward, who gawked at me in my swimwear, not expecting the lack of clothing.

I shook my head, what did he expect me to wear to a beach – jeans and a long shirt? I smirked as he gulped, and gave him a little twirl. "You like?" I asked.

"Must you continuously have to flaunt your skin at me?" Edward eventually gasped.

"Yes, yes I do," I grinned, then flitted out the room on seeing him reach for a pillow.

I hurried through the hallway, peaking into the rooms I passed as I went, half looking for my mother, half genuinely curious as to how the house looked.

One room was a very large bathroom, with a deep long bath at one side and a large shower in the other corner. There were a bunch of combs, bottles, toothbrushes and pastes, and a big bar of soap sitting near the sink, and the top of the glass shower wall was covered with shampoos and other bottles for the shower.

Another room seemed to be a game/gym room, with a few exercise machines, another TV, and a foosball table, as well as various chairs and Play Station/Xbox games in a shelf. It made me giggle slightly to see the video games, but neither of the two adults who lived here were very mature.

The last room I visited had the door closed rather than open. I frowned and knocked.

"Bella, is that you?" Renee called from inside, voice slightly muffled through the wooden door.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Oh honey, could you come in here for a moment?" she asked quietly.

My brow furrowed as I opened the door, quickly smoothing as I grinned at the situation my mother was in.

Renee had six bikinis laid out on the bed, tousled together. Renee was in one herself, a strange strappy piece that she had managed to tangle herself in. One arm was through what looked to be where her belly should have gone, and the other arm was stuck where her head should have gone. Her hair was knotted in the arm slot, and only her mouth was visible, grinning sheepishly at the direction she thought I was.

I was about 90 degrees to the left of that. I grinned wider, shaking my head. "What happened? Who attacked you?"

"Oh Bella," Renee ignored my humour. "Could you help me out?"

I grinned. "I'll try, but I might have to call the fire department to get the Jaws of Life on this."

"Please Bella," Renee begged.

I giggled and helped her out of the suit, glad that my time working as an adult stripper had pretty much immunised me to female nudity. Renee didn't care, I had probably seen her naked plenty of times in this life - I just couldn't remember them.

The swimsuit that she had been trying to try on was very strange. She hadn't ever worn it and wanted to try on something special for when I came. I shook my head at her. The suit seemed more appropriate for a photo shoot, where six different people could help get the model into it. It had straps everywhere rather than fabric, up the sides, crossed around the neck, straight down the torso. Actually, it looked pretty cool on the rack, but seemed impossible to get into.

Renee said Phil had bought it for her. I nodded, that explained a lot.

She eventually just wore a plain bikini like mine, hers showing even more of her olive skin than mine did. Maybe she wouldn't have been as adverse to Alice's clothing desires as I thought she would have.

Her bikini was white, showing off her skin tone, mine was red showing off mine and strangely making my eyes seem even bluer. Renee's eyes looked greyer with the suit.

I quickly plaited my mom's hair, and she returned the favour. She joked about how messy my hair used to get when I was a kid, and the only way to avoid the knots was to braid my hair like this. She had taught me how, and I used to always practice on her head because I couldn't do it behind my own head. I smiled - the memory seemed to fit to me. I still couldn't plaint my own hair, not unless I did two or more pigtails.

I grabbed one of Renee's old shirts as I left, and grabbed a pair of boardies I had packed. I changed into them, and Renee followed suit with her own pair. "You still like catching waves?" she inquired. I guess it was a little strange, most girls only went to the beach to show off in their bikinis, which would fall off if they decided to body surf.

"Yes," I answered.

She smiled, "That's my girl."

Renee and I surfed for a couple of hours, catching waves, dunking each other, and trying to run another over when one was at the shore and the over was catching the wave. Renee was just as good as me, better in fact, no doubt from being able to practice every day without freezing her arse off in La Push waters.

I found hanging out with my mom was like hanging out with a friend, we even had sand wars, laughing at each other in the surprisingly empty beach. The water was clear, and the sun was out and shining, the yellow sand was soft and fluffy, bumpy where walkers had churned it. A few plants grew near the end of the beach, grasses swaying in the slight breeze. Palms swayed atop the dunes, standing tall beside the house.

After a while I started to feel a little tired, and trudged up onto the beach, lying on the wet sand, the waves lapping at my toes. Renee soon lay beside me, sighing contentedly as she did.

"Don't you love it here, Bella?" Renee asked after a few minutes of sunbaking. She had tried this on me several times already, trying to convince me how much better it was in Jacksonville, how I should leave Forks and live with her and Phil.

"Mom, I like Forks," I said, not wanting to listen to her try to convince me again.

She sighed. "I know but you can't blame me for trying. I just miss this, Bella, miss being with you. Soon you'll be going to college, and I'll never see you again."

I sighed, there was one good thing about having not known Renee, and I wouldn't have as much to miss, but just today had made me realize how much I had missed. "I'll miss this too, Mom."

"And I can't help but wondering if you're only staying in Forks for Edward. What about your dreams? You could always come to a college here, Alaska is so far away."

"I'm sorry Mom." I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"I guess it's your choice," she sighed then grinned, rolling onto her side so she could look at me. "What do I know; I'm just a silly Mom anyway."

"Don't say that, you're a great mom."

"I hope so," Renee sounded more serious than she ever had, or ever should. I didn't like the worry lines on her smooth forehead, so unmarred from lack of the emotion.

888

The next days were great. I would spend my time with Renee outside, or with Edward inside, or with Edward and Renee or in some position that involved food. Edward would always find ways to hide the food, or sneak it to me.

Renee liked Edward, and always shot winks my way when she thought he wasn't looking. When we were alone she would comment on how he looked, jokingly of course. I still felt a strange bit of jealousy, however irrational, when Edward would spend time with Renee instead of me. Those times rarely happened, mostly when I was busy showering or what not. Edward would always be more sombre after those meetings, and I knew he was questioning whether he should change me again.

Renee didn't seem sombre ever, even when she showed me the photo album on my request. She laughed off the most serious of memories, and I laughed with her, finding the humour in what at the time might have been a bad situation.

The stories she told me matched to my personality. It seemed so strange to have a whole childhood I had no recollection of, but proof that it had occurred. There were photos of me as a baby, and as a child, and a young teen, that all looked similar to the ones in my previous life, except in these photos the love shining from my eyes wasn't fawned.

I was glad I was able to control my emotions; otherwise I think tears would have been pouring from my face the whole time. I couldn't help feeling so happy. I had a childhood, a wonderful child hood with parents that loved me.

I saw pictures of my grinning childish face, eyes alight with mischief. I saw my grumpy young teenage self, my chubby baby self. I saw all the parties that I was never allowed to have; I saw the pictures of the first times I learned to do things. I saw the memories of old trips to places I'd never thought I'd ever see.

All the memories also made me stupidly sad, sad that I couldn't remember that wonderful life I had, like a big part of me was missing. Still I was happy that that little girl had been happy in her life, and sad I had ruined hers with mine.

Renee had the Edward talk with me. I was only a little surprised that I was revolving around him like book Bella, but not very. I loved Edward, why wouldn't I want to be near him?

Soon, too soon, I had to go home. Renee hugged me until I was sure I would have bruises, and then drove home, leaving me and Edward at the airport to wait for our plane. I fell to sleep on him again, comforted by his hands stroking my hair.

I dreamt I was a little girl, playing in a flowerbed. I had a white floral dress on, and my tiny feet covered in soft shoes. My hair was plaited into a braid, and I was skipping through the flowers, running my hand over the long grass, collecting soft petals in my fingertips.

I could feel my grin, and I felt as light as a feather, running through the strangely familiar meadow. I twirled as I ran, spinning in circles until I fell, giggling. I lay on the soft grass for a few more moments, revelling in the cool flowers brushing my cheeks, eyes closed against the grey light spilling past the clouds.

Then I felt a firm grasp on my hand, and a sharp pull. I opened my eyes with an exclamation on my lips, before my mouth snapped shut. I was staring at me, at me as I looked now. I was glaring at myself, my lips sneering. "Grow up," my older self said to me, "you never had this life."

I woke with a start, hitting Edward as my arms automatically flayed.

"Bella, Bella, shush," Edward soothed, whispering in my ears. His gentle hands closed around my wrists, stopping my movements. I calmed down at his cool touch, muscles relaxing. He released my arms, moving to stroke my hair. "Are you okay?"

I let out a shuddering breath, taking a few more until my breathing was steady before I answered. "Yeah, just a bad dream," I explained.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head; it was just a silly dream. Edward didn't like it when I felt any bad emotions, immediately feeling guilty himself no matter what it was. I didn't want to bring his mood down.

"Are we almost there?" I asked, pulling myself up from his lap.

"We're descending," he answered.

I sighed on feeling my ruffled hair. Edward wordlessly moved to help me, and soon it was acceptable, if not neat.

"I guess that'll be one good thing when I change, no knotted hair," I joked.

Edward tensed slightly, but was quick to reply, trying to hide his adverse reactions about my change. "Oh, you'll find it can still knot, it just takes a little more work to do it. You'll see on your first hunting trip."

I grinned, he was making progress, at least now he was accepting the fact of my change, even discussing the 'after' with me.

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><p><strong>Review guys, did you like it? And tell me your opinion, genuinely, on who you would best think Alexis should end up with, Jacob Edward, both or none (I would really prefer if no one says none)<strong>


	7. Explanations

**Hey guys, I realized I haven't updated in a while and, well, I really should. The holidays for me are coming up so pretty soon I will be updatinjg more frequently.**

**But seriously guys, I want to know why no one is reviewing. Don't you like this story? If you don't I've had this other story idea nagging at me for ages and can put this one on hiatus.**

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><p>6. Explanations<p>

Edward drove us to school while I pondered the situation with my father.

Edward and I had returned to the Port Angeles airport to find no overly protective father waiting, ready to spring and pull me apart from Edward. We had searched the airport, dragging my bag behind me. I wouldn't let Edward hold it; people would think I was lazy or high maintenance. I saw a few girls with what were obviously their bags in a puffing man's arms behind them. I carried my own bag.

Our search didn't take long; Edward just had to move around a bit to extend his range. He didn't find Charlie's thoughts.

We caught a cab home... I let Edward pay.

We had walked in to find Charlie knee deep in files. He swore for a while when he saw us, realizing he had completely forgotten. Then he glared at Edward, whose face had taken on an amused look at hearing the man swearing like a sailor. I was sure my face was similarly composed; I don't think I had ever heard Charlie swear as much, not since Harry's almost departure.

"I should have called Billy," I had said.

Charlie had taken a moment to catch on before remembering his promise. "No, you didn't Bella. I went fishing with Billy; I just had to catch up because of it."

I had sighed greatly, knowing I couldn't convince him he couldn't help Seattle. He thought it was just some serial killer, much easier to catch than a vampire.

I knew I had to do something. I couldn't procrastinate any further. How many people were in trouble because of me? Not just the victims or relatives of those, but all the police departments around Seattle and inside, all the people who were afraid to or not allowed to go outside without company in the city.

I would stop Victoria, as soon as possible.

I didn't realize I was frowning until Edward commented. "I know you don't like Mrs Tate but you shouldn't frown at her."

Mrs Tate was my calculus teacher, and the teacher who hated me the most. Likely she would find my frowning an excuse to give me detention. Never mind my eyes had unconsciously followed her. Didn't you hate it when you zoned out and someone thought you were staring at them?

Edward started to fidget as he parked, which was the first warning signal. It was very odd for a vampire to fidget.

"Hey, do you want to go around the back way today?" Edward asked brightly, a touch too happily. "I've always wanted to show you the woods at the back of the school; we can be back in time for form."

I raised an eyebrow at him and his eagerness to sidetrack me from the front entrance. Then I caught a milling crowd in peripheral vision, and turned at the disturbance.

Then I saw why Edward wanted to sidetrack me, all six foot seven of that reason.

I immediately jumped out of the car, walking to the front entrance where my second best friend was waiting on the side-walk, leaning on his shining black motorcycle, watching with a cocky grin as I approached him. I forced myself not to swoon.

He looked really – I was ashamed to say with Edward not two feet behind me – sexy, with his tight black tee-shirt and dirty jeans, leaning so casually on his illegally parked motorcycle, and that smile. I have a weakness for cocky smiles, and how his shirt emphasized his pecks wasn't helping.

Jacob glared at Edward when he took my arm, trying to pull me to him. That glimpse of Edward's poorly concealed jealously was enough to snap me out of me Jacob-admiring thoughts, and supercharge me with guilt. I swear if I kept stuffing the emotion into the back of my brain any further it would explode.

I pulled lightly at Edward's grasp, and he let go, if reluctantly.

Jacob opened his arms just in time to receive my hug. I had a habit of receiving his bear hugs, most meetings started this way. He pulled me off the ground and swirled me around while I laughed. I never told Jacob why I liked this hug far better than a normal one. It was because it reminded me of Emmett, and was my vain attempt to try and think of Jacob the same way as I thought of him, as a brother.

It did, surprisingly, work to a large degree. Being spun, and feeling so small, definitely made me feel like he was my older brother.

Then I took a step back, and saw him smiling smugly at Edward whose face was too blank too be good; he was no big brother. I ignored the exchange.

"New paint," I noted. Jake's motorcycle was shiny black, despite the little amount of light to shine on it.

"I have to find something to do when you're not here." I hated how guilty the statement made me feel, and how easily he said it, admitting his need for me. My smile felt like a grimace.

"Message delivered Jacob, you can leave now." Edward's voice was quipped, and he reached for me as soon as I was released by Jacob. His words sparked memory of the book, of why Jacob was here then.

I had to keep the annoyance out of my voice as I feigned confusion. Keeping up pretences was tiring. "What message?" I asked, whipping my head around to look to them both. "What happened?"

"You mean you haven't told her?" Jacob looked half amused and half fake-outraged.

"Well obviously," I snapped, bitchy side coming through. I pushed it back and painted on my puppy-dog face turning to Jake and pouting. He had looked even more bemused at my snap; Edward had looked a little guilty. "Jake, could you tell me what happened, please?" I asked sweetly.

"Sure," he smiled over my shoulder at Edward, giving him a pointed look I was sure was emphasizing a thought. "One of the leech... Cullens... crossed the line, the big male."

"Emmett," I corrected.

"Yes, well, he crossed into our territory..." Jacob started before Edward interrupted.

"It was no man's land," Edward hissed, "and lower your voice. Not everyone is aware of our family's... predicament."

"It _was_ our land. Paul was completely justified in what he did."

I cut in before Edward could respond. I could feel the tension from both boys, and it wasn't just through my gift. I put a hand on each of their chests, marvelling quickly at the contrast. It was like Jake was fire and Edward ice. I almost wanted to switch hands to feel how even more different it would feel then.

In my lapse of attention the two had started to seethe at each other again. I hadn't even heard their voices.

Edward was just finishing what he'd said, I could guess what it had been by the part I caught. "...had Victoria, you wolves are too temperamental to put your mind on task."

"It wasn't Paul's fault!" Jake yelled back. I noticed his hands, balled into fists, trembling. Edward was leaning towards Jake, teeth bearing under his curled lip, he was completely still but if possible looking more ready to spring than Jake.

The students behind had multiplied, watching us three with eagre eyes. They wanted it to turn into a fight, and gave a good radius to us encase it did.

"Calm down," I pushed on both of their chests. They obeyed, if barely. I turned around, to Edward, "Did anyone get hurt?"

"No," he replied. "No one fought and no one got hurt. Jasper and Carlisle got everyone calmed down before... well nothing happened."

"Stupid leech, messing with our heads," I heard Jacob mutter; I knew he was talking of a certain empathy. I sent him a quick glare.

"I wish you could all just work together. All these silly technicalities of your treaty seem to be causing more trouble then it saves. Couldn't you just work together, just this once?" Both Edward and Jacob swallowed. "That's it; I want to call a meeting." I poked Jacob's chest. "You, tell Sam and the others." Then I turned to Edward, prodding him a little more gently, I didn't feel like breaking my finger that day. "And you tell Carlisle and the others. Meet at the baseball field." I was pretty sure it was no man's land. "Tonight," I added. I was going to get this done and quickly. I would procrastinate no further.

Both men looked shocked by my show of authority, but at my hard look nodded their heads. I smiled at the victory. The students that had watched now groaned and sighed, seeing the two boys obviously calming down. Some of the freshman glared at me for stopping the fight. I was tempted to glare back.

"The principal is on his way to discourage loitering on school property," Edward murmured quietly enough for none of the other students to hear. "We should get you to class before Mr Greene sees it as a reason to give you more detentions Bella."

"Bella gets detentions?" I didn't know whether I should have been offended or complimented by the shock in Jake's voice. "You never told me you were such a bad girl," Jacob waggled his brows at me. Edward stiffened, glaring again.

"See you tonight, Jake."

"You should come this afternoon, see what I did with your bike." I hated the hopefulness in Jacob's voice.

But I did have something I wanted to say to Jake, away from Edward. Jacob had the perfect potential for keeping my secret, I was sure he had the control to keep my secret, but he also had the necessary distance. Edward couldn't hear when he was miles away.

"Maybe tomorrow," Jake nodded half eager half sad for the delay. I wasn't risking Jacob slipping tonight.

"Okay, get to class," the stern voice of the principal was audible over the crowd's whispering murmur. There were several groans and I spotted a few heads, the taller and further towards the back ones moving away. "Move along, Mr Crowley." I thought I heard Tyler's whining groan.

Mr Greene pushed through the remaining spectators. He was a pretty small man, shorter than me, and thin with a protruding stomach. I had seen him too many times in the principal's office, enough to know he was wearing his seemingly favourite pair of shoes and to know the dark stains on his shirt originated from his daily two jelly donuts which he never seemed to eat cleanly.

Right now he had a frown on his ugly face, eyes squinting out at us under his caterpillar eyebrows. "I mean it," he yelled, his voice was deep for a shorter man, "detention for anyone who is still here when I turn around again."

The group of teens left, hurrying away but not without one last look over their shoulders. What did they think they were going to miss? No students would start a fight in front of the principal, and Edward and Jake wouldn't in public... I hoped.

"Ah, Mr Cullen," Mr Greene seemed confused, and then he saw me, understanding. "Miss Swan," his voice held all of his disappointment at me. Jake grinned at the tone, giving me a thumbs up beside his leg. Edward shot a fast glare at Jake before turning back to the administrative body in front of him. "Do we have a problem here?" Mr Greene asked.

"Not at all, Mr Greene, we were just on our way to class." When he wanted to Edward could lie. I wonder if he downplayed his talents in front of me. I didn't find much trouble in realizing when Edward was lying.

"Excellent," Mr Greene's voice held that smug note teacher's assumed when teacher's exercised their authority. "I don't seem to recognize your friend." He turned to frown at Jacob. "Are you a new student here?"

Mr Greene scrutinized Jacob, and did a very good job of looking calm and in control. Through my gift I could feel a tension in his muscles. I watched his Adam apple bob as he gulped.

Jake smirked at him. "Nope," he popped the P.

"Then I suggest you remove yourself from school property young man, before I call the police."

Jacob grinned widely at this, but it wasn't funny for me. As much as Jacob getting arrested by my father would have been funny before, with Charlie so wired it would be ... detrimental.

"Yes, sir," Jacob saluted. Then he jumped onto his bike and kick started it, driving off on the foot path, leaving a squealing of tires and sending the Principal a mouth full of exhaust. I tried not to laugh at the head teacher's coughing, or the tire marks on the pavement. Instead I kept my face as calm and innocent as I could manage, and prayed Mr Greene wouldn't find this somehow my fault.

"Detention, Miss Swan," Mr Greene pronounced.

"Wha..." I started before the Principal cut me off in his quipped way of speaking.

"As handsome as Mr Cullen is I don't believe it was his pretty face that attracted that boy. I don't know what you did to him, but it is undoubtable of your doing. Uh, don't argue," he said as I started to protest, "or I'll double the detention."

I huffed, but said nothing else.

"Now off to class with the both you," he made a shooing motion with his hands. I stalked off, Edward trailing behind me.

At English, I decided to let my frustrations out on paper. I scratched my words into the paper so hard that it ripped in parts. I all but threw the note at Edward when I was done.

_This is YOUR fault. See what happens when you lie to me. What happened this weekend?_

Edward scrubbed out my hasty written words, writing over the rips in his quick, neat script.

_Alice saw that Victoria was coming back. I took you out of town merely as a precaution – there was never a chance that she would have gotten anywhere near you. Emmett and Jasper very nearly had her, but Victoria seems to have some instinct for evasion. He escaped right down the Quileute boundary line as if she were reading it from a map. It didn't help that Alice's abilities were nullified by the Quileutes' involvement. To be fair, the Quileutes' might have had her, too, if we hadn't gotten in their way. The big gray one thought Emmett was over the line, and he got defensive. Of course Rosalie reacted to that, and everyone left the chase to protect their companions. Carlisle and Jasper got things calmed down before it got out of hand. But by then, Victoria had slipped away. _

I skimmed over the words, I already knew the story, yet they still spurred anger in me. Did they have to be so stubborn? If they could have just focused on their actual enemy rather than whom they thought to be... but I would not dwell on what ifs.

I scrubbed out Edward's explanation, writing on the very crinkled, now greying sheet.

_And you call me stubborn? You shouldn't have whisked me away, I could have helped. If I was in one of the territories, she would come have come after me._

I didn't need to tell him I was glad to go to Jacksonville. I would let him wallow for a while.

_That would certainly NOT have been a good idea. I don't care if you did it with the wolves, it obviously didn't work. She might have just killed you on the spot._

Of course Edward was still his overprotective self, that's why I couldn't tell him my plan. Anyway, I knew Victoria; she wanted to make my ending slow.

We didn't talk for the rest of class.

888

It was after lunch, or my detention that was at lunch, in Calculus, that I heard speculation on the fight, or rather the reason it came about. I tried not to glare as I heard the male teenagers' words.

"Did you see Bella?" Mike whispered. "Pressing up to that big Indian and then jumping right back into the hands of Cullen. Poor guys, she has her talon's around them both."

"Hey," Ben protested, "Bella isn't that bad. She's been nice to me." I always liked Ben.

"To you," Mike emphasised, "but to everyone else she's a bitch. She's only nice to you because you're dating Angela."

"She only ignores you because you try to kiss her every time she's smiles at you."

"Do not!"

"At least she's not stringing you along like the other two," Austin said.

"I'd take the barking, and the leading on. I mean look at her face, and that body... I wouldn't mind sharing." I bit my lip against the grimace I had of Tyler's words.

I looked away before I felt the eyes of the three boys on me. When I looked up Mike, Austin and Tyler were making bets on Jacob or Edward, but Ben was still watching me, a touch of pity in his eyes.

I didn't need pity. I would solve the Jacob-Edward problem, as soon as I dealt with Victoria.

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><p><strong>So guys, review if you like this story. I really don't want to have to do a "five reviews or no update" thing again, it's mean to you and to me and I dont like being mean to you guys.<strong>

**Review!**


	8. Unhappy Ending

**Hey guys, holidays are coming up so I'll be writing more! I really want to finsih this story before Breaking Dawn the movie comes out, but you know what will make me update even faster? Reviews! C'mon guys, please!**

**This story is closer to eclipse than Follow in her Footsteps was close to New Moon. The timeline is different though, things go in different sequences and the timeline will be shorter, events closer together than in the book, it will also be more detailed in some aspects, to you know address the characters feelings.**

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><p>7. Unhappy Ending<p>

The waiting was the worst part, the anxiousness, the nerves, the jitters as I all but bounced on the white couch.

I was in the Cullens house, waiting for the meeting. Alice had kept me company for half the day, Edward had left the school at lunch, a perfectly forged note in his father's hand excusing his absence for a reason so vague he could have been going anywhere from a football match to a funeral. Of course, he was let off without a sweat. If I handed in such a note I would probably get detention even before Charlie was rung for verification.

He had left to hunt, as had most of the Cullens apart from Alice and Jasper and Rosalie who had gone a few days ago – Jasper needed to feed more often as he rarely let me remove his thirst. He thought it wrong to 'give such a nuisance to a lady'. I still offered it, if sometimes just to hear his southern drawl. It was like asking a British person to say toast.

Alice hadn't been able to get herself a detention though, so for all of lunch I sat bored out of my mind, writing lines of 'I will not encourage vagrants'. It didn't help that there was a student teacher 'learning how to handle troubled teens' with Mr Harris. The college guy couldn't help staring down my shirt, taking every opportunity to 'scrutinize my work' while Mr Harris had his back turned. Of course I couldn't say anything, that kind of accusation would earn another detention.

At the end of lunch bell I almost ran from the room, ripping the small sheet of paper the student teacher had given me with his number on it. At least Edward hadn't been there to see it.

The rest of the day passed with equal slowness.

Alice charmed Charlie into letting me sleep over at her house that night, with promises that Edward was away of course. I knew Charlie had most likely rung the school for verification despite how hooked Alice had assured me he was.

Then I was whisked away by the little pixie to her house. I refused all her offers of makeovers, I planned on participating tonight. What was the point of getting your nails done if they were only to be immediately ruined?

Without that distraction there was not much else to do though. Jasper had skulked off somewhere after his wife had snapped at him; Alice was annoyed at me for refusing her offers. I had to restrain myself from raiding the fridge for leftovers of Esme's ventures in cooking. I didn't want to eat because I was bored. I was watching my figure, there were only a few more months until graduation, and I wanted to be married as soon as possible after that, and then changed as soon as we came home from the honeymoon.

After all, I didn't know what happened to fat when you were changed. I had never seen a fat vampire, but most of the ones I knew were changed back when almost everyone was skinny, when people couldn't eat as much as they did now.

I had a few theories for what happened to fat in the change. One was that it was distributed before hardened into vampire flesh, to make curves or something along the like. Another was that it was just turned into vampire flesh, and you had a chubby vampire. The last was that it was broken down and removed in the change.

I didn't want to test which theory was correct. I didn't want to be any curvier than I was now. I definitely didn't want to be trapped forever as a fat vampire. I also didn't want the fat on me melting into my veins and possibly blocking my arteries while I change, stopping my heart and the possibility of becoming a vampire.

I didn't have Bella's chance of being drained of fat by a vampire child, so I would diet.

It was interesting though, and I wondered rather selfishly if Victoria had changed any fat people and if I would get to see what happens.

"Bellllllllllllaaaaaaaah," Alice's whine interrupted my thoughts.

"Yeah, what, did you say anything?"

"No, I didn't," Alice snapped, "it's been too quiet. C'mon, let me do something, your hair or whatever, please, pretty please!"

"Alice there's no point when it's likely to be ruined anyway; Jacob like's to make fun of how short I am by ruffling my hair." It was very annoying when he did it too, especially when I had to ask Emily for a hairbrush with a barely diminished rats-nest on my head.

"You're short," Alice gasped, and then grumbled to herself.

I giggled quietly, and Alice glared. Her height was something she was a little touchy about, that's why she always wore heels, but even then she was still shorter than me.

I was pretty tall for a girl, if I wore heels I'd be as tall as or taller than any of the Cullen guys.

If I wore heels beside Jacob I'd still feel short. All the werewolves were giants! It would be pretty comical if Alice stood beside one tonight. Maybe I should try and force her to.

I was planning how I would trick the pixie into standing next to one of the pack when Rosalie walked in. I braced myself for the usual glare, or even worse as she had been doing lately, the pitying/disappointed look she usual administered.

Instead I got a studiously blank look as her eyes found mine. "Bella, can I talk to you... alone?" She added upon seeing Alice.

"Sure," I said, a little confused. Alice could hear what we said, or probably see what we were about to say, from anywhere in the house.

Rosalie turned and walked upstairs, not looking back to see if I followed her, she could hear my footsteps. She walked quickly, though it looked casual with her swaying gait. I wondered how I would look when I walked when I was a vampire.

Rosalie walked into the room she shared with Emmett. Edward had already pointed it out to me, but it was one of the only rooms in the Cullen house I had never been in. I hesitated at the door, I was entering her territory.

Rosalie was frowning when she turned around, but not angrily, confusedly. She must have guessed my thoughts, because she smiled exasperatedly and waved me in.

I walked carefully into the room, watching for anything I might unintentionally trod on or touch. I didn't want to offend her in anyway, whatever she brought me here for.

The room was beautiful, as most rooms in the mansion were, with a gorgeous view of the forest, a massive bed with a deep purple cover, white sheets and pillows, and a few potted plants with deep green leaves sitting on side tables the same shade of the doona.

It was remarkably plain, and spotless, but I guessed most of their belongings were held in the large closet hidden behind a door to the left of the bed. I could understand why there was no furniture though, after how their nightlife had been described to me. I just barely held my face blank at the thought as I sat on the bed.

It was only because I knew Esme washed the bed sheets almost every time I was planning to stay that I didn't hesitate to sit on the cover.

"Edward, he so rarely leaves you alone, at least without the dog. I figured I had better make the best of this opportunity."

It was with her words that it dawned on me. I knew exactly what she had brought me here for. She wanted to talk of her change, to convince me to stay human.

But I wanted to hear it from her mouth, firstly to be sure I that everyone knew I knew, and secondly to kind of compare her experience to mine. I was so close that day in the field, that day that in a way was much like hers. After a terrible experience we were both given new lives, even if she wasn't as thankful as I for what she received.

"Please don't think I'm horribly interfering," she continued. "I know I've hurt your feelings in the past. I don't want to do that again."

She sounded so heartfelt when she said it that I immediately smiled reassuringly, denying that my feelings were at all raw, and any past hardship had healed and been forgiven.

Rosalie smiled sadly, beautifully of course, but it was an ironic turn of the gesture.

"What is it you wanted to talk of?" I asked, knowing the answer already.

"I'm going to try and convince you why you should stay human, why I would stay human if I were you."

I nodded for her to continue, studiously saying nothing. I had no reason to wish to stay human, denied the luxury (though _I _didn't quite find it a luxury) of having children.

"Did Edward ever tell you what led to this?" She waved at herself, at her form perfected by the change.

"He said, um... that you were..."

"Raped," she finished for me, a barely masked harshness in her tone. "Yes, I was raped, but it wasn't just from some stranger in a dark alley. The fiend..." she almost spat the words, "was my _fiancée_." The way she said it was cruelly mocking, the her smile harsh as she stared out to the woods, the sunset obscured by the clouds still painting her gold, an avenging goddess, smiling at her victory.

"Would you like to hear my story, Bella? It doesn't have a happy ending – but which of ours does? If we had happy ending, we'd all be under gravestones now."

_I don't believe that, _I thought, but kept silent, only nodding and keeping my face blank.

She told me her story, from start to finish. I was slightly ashamed at myself when I almost asked her to describe what they had done to her and how she had killed each one. I didn't realize that I would have felt so much closer to her from the words, and feel so angry at Royce and his friends. I hoped she tortured him, made him wail.

That thought surprised me the most – I didn't realize I had such a sadistic part of me.

"I'm sorry, I got carried away," Rosalie said as she just stopped herself describing Royce's death. "I hope I didn't scare you."

"No, don't worry, I have a pretty strong stomach," I assured her.

"I'm surprised Edward didn't tell you more about it."

"He doesn't like to tell other people's stories, because he hears so much more than they speak aloud, more than they might want to reveal. He feels that it betraying confidences, he could let slip what they don't want others to know."

Rosalie smiled softly and shook her head. "I really should give him some more credit. He really is quite decent isn't he?"

"Yeah, he is."

"I haven't been fair to you either, Bella. Did he tell you why? Or was that confidential?"

"He said it was because I was human. He said it was harder for you to have someone of the outside who knew." Never mind I knew anyway, no matter what Edward revealed. I knew that wasn't why she didn't like me anyway, at least not now.

Rosalie laughed, still beautiful if not as high and tinkling as Alice's. "Now I really feel guilty. He's been much, much kinder to me than I deserve. What a liar that boy is."

"What was he lying about?"

"Well, lying is probably too strong a word. He just didn't tell you the whole truth. What he told you was true, even truer now than it was before with all the troubles you attract." She sounded like she was teasing, but I knew there was truth in what she said. "However, at the time," she chuckled nervously. "It's embarrassing, you see, at first I was mostly jealous because he want _you_ and not me."

A silly jealousness took me when she said that. Rosalie was so beautiful, stunning in every sense of the word. I knew I was pretty, if not beautiful, for a human, but I couldn't compete with a vampire, especially not Rosalie. Still Edward wasn't hers, he was mine! "But you love Emmett," I said hiding the flash of jealousy that had taken me.

She shook her head, chest rising and falling with her silent laughter. "Trust me; I don't want Edward that way, Bella. I never did – I love him as a brother, but he's irritated me from the first moment I heard him speak. You have to understand, I was so used to people wanting me, and Edward wasn't the least bit interested. It frustrated me, even offended me in the beginning. But he never wanted anyone, so it didn't bother me long. Even when we first met Tanya's clan in Denali – all those females! – Edward never showed the slightest preference. And then he met you." I didn't like how that sentence sounded, like I was a toad. I was NOT ugly!

"Not that you aren't pretty, even beautiful, for a human. But it just meant he found you more attractive than me. I'm vain enough that I minded."

"I can relate to that," I admitted.

She smiled at me. "It must have been a shock to you to have so many around you more beautiful than you. That's what I felt like with the Cullens when I was human."

"At least you didn't have to be around someone as pretty as yourself. I mean, I've seen Heidi, and even she can't compare." I didn't just say it to compliment her, I honestly believed that the most beautiful vampire in the Volturi, the one they used as bait, was as gorgeous as Rosalie, if only by a little.

"Thank you Bella," Rosalie had a touch of pride in her voice as she said that. "And you don't have to worry about me being jealous anymore. Edward has always been a little strange. I mean, he lets you run around with a dog!" I heard the protectiveness in her voice as she said that, she didn't want her brother hurt.

"You don't really like me, do you?"

"I don't like that it seems you're two-timing on my brother – don't deny it! But mostly, I don't like that you're just about to give everything away. You have a whole life ahead of you – almost everything I want. You can grow older, stay in one spot for more than a few years, experience sickness, eat, and work without people demeaning you because of your age. You can get drunk, get scared on a rollercoaster, and go out in the sun. You can make friends. You can still talk to your family. You can't have children, I know, but you could adopt! You can meet a boy and grow old with him! Don't you see what you're giving that all up, throwing away? I would trade everything I have to be in your position. I didn't get the choice to be this way, you do, and you're choosing wrong!"

I waited while she talked to me, her voice rising with each sentence until she was standing, yelling at me and waving her hands. It was hard to stay still with a vampire yelling at you, hard not to cringe in fright, but my gift helped me with that. I could feel if she decided to hit me, or even if her arm would accidently swing too far. I probably wouldn't be fast enough to stop it with my power, but I had small reassurance. So I sat straight until she finally stopped, yelling, looking to the ground and taking a long breath, as immobile as a statue.

"And I was so sure I could do this calmly," she spoke quietly, almost too quietly for me to hear. Then she looked back up, her eyes deglazing as she assessed me, my reaction to the outburst. :it's just so much harder now, when I know that you're so close to ruining your life. You'll understand in a few decades, start to miss being human, realize that this isn't a happy ending."

"But you did get some of your happy ending, you got Emmett."

"I got half." She smiled wistfully on mention of her mate. "You know I saved him from that bear that was mauling him? I carried him all the way home to Carlisle. But do you know why I stopped the bear from eating him?"

I shook my head, even though I knew.

"With the dark curls ... the dimples that showed even while he was grimacing in pain ... the strange innocence that seemed so out of place on a grown man's face ... he reminded me so much of Vera's little Henry. I didn't want him to die – so much that, even though I hated this life, I was selfish enough to ask Carlisle to change him for me.

"I got luckier than I deserved. Emmett is everything I would have asked for if I'd known myself well enough to know what to ask for. He's exactly the kind of person someone like me needs. And, oddly enough, he needs me too. That part worked out better than I could have hoped. But there will never be more than the two of us. And I'll never sit on a porch somewhere, with him gray-haired by my side, surrounded by our grandchildren.

"That sounds quite bizarre to you, doesn't it? You've never really thought about many things seriously. You're too young to know what you'll want in ten year, fifteen years – and too young to give it all up without thinking it through. You don't want to rash about permanent things, Bella." She patted my head, like I was a child she had just told that eating glue wasn't good for you.

"Just think about it for a little. Once it's done, it can't be undone. Esme makes do with us as substitute, and Alice doesn't remember anything human so she can't miss it. You will remember, though. It's a lot to give up."

I took a deep breath, a little worried about what I was going to say next. "Thank you, Rosalie, it's nice to know you better, your point of you, but I really can't relate to it. Is it really that much to give up being human? I mean, I can't have children anyway, and growing old isn't that great of an idea to me. Diseases, pain, constant fear of other humans, nature, the supernatural, having to work, worrying about money for food, shelter, clothing, worrying about my appearance, supporting a family, living in the same place for my whole life.

"But mostly, I would have to give up Edward, and I would never be happy with anyone but him. I've never wanted those things you did, and I would have a family, I'd have you all.

"I could do so many more things as a vampire I would never be able to do as a human. I could help the environment; learn all the languages, read so many books, find cures to diseases, find out what is at the bottom of the sea.

"Plus, with my power, the thirst wouldn't even be a problem. I'd have all the advantages with barely any of the negatives. Who knows what I could learn with my power, I could probably take away the sparkle, you could go in the sun. I might even find a way to reverse the change!"

Rosalie's eyes widened at my last sentence, exposing a huge amount of unmasked hope and pain at the words. "You, you think you could do that?" her voice was quiet, and the rawest I'd heard it, like she was waiting for me to laugh in her face.

"I don't know what I could do," I whispered. "But if I can take away thirst, who knows what else I could do. Speaking of, are you thirsty?"

Rosalie laughed, but it sounded sad, like she had brought her hopes up only to be denied. "I would graciously appreciate if you would take it away, however you do it."

So I did, placing my hand on her smooth throat and feeling the burn transfer from her body to mine.

**(Bare with me here, it becomes very science-y, but don't take anything seriously, I literally just made it up on the spot with my amazing brain and prior knowledge *cocky hair flick* so whatever is said has no truth to it, except the umbilical cord stuff)**

I'd had theories of what the thirst was. Theoretically, it was more of a punishment than a function their bodies provided. If a human was thirsty, usually it was because their body was calling for water. When a vampire had thirst, it wasn't always that they needed blood. They could survive weeks without blood.

My theory was, of taking samples Edward graciously provided (though obtaining them was awkward, I had to get a sample from in his throat as well as some vampire blood and saliva) I discovered on studying the cells that the thirst was more of a minor poison.

Carlisle had never thought to study the thirst, but on sharing my observations, he concluded I had to be correct.

I had found that there were certain vampire cells in the throat (I had to cut out some throat sample for that – who'd have thought Edward's fingernail was so sharp) produce a toxin that instilled a burn in the surrounding cells of the throat. It was also produced in the salivary glands, burning those changed cells in the mouth, oesophagus, and even (on enquiries) in the stomach.

When the toxin comes into contact with live blood, it mutates into an unspecified cell (like the ones in an umbilical cord), which in a vampire becomes infected with venom like in the change, and becomes just like the cells surrounding it. In a human body, those toxin cells react with the human's blood and become whatever cell they touch first. I was never in danger taking the thirst from the Cullens; in fact those cells may have helped me!

When the toxin does not react with blood in the vampire's body, it eventually spreads through the vampire's intestines, into their blood stream (venom stream?). On observing the toxin cells mixing with the vampire blood cells though an electric microscope I found the toxin slows the vampire's cells, like the cold slows a humans cells. This causes tiredness, and explains why a vampire after feeding is much stronger/faster/better than a vampire who hadn't fed in weeks/months.

I hadn't observed the toxin/vampire cell interaction enough to find whether the toxin would eventually slow the cell until it stopped moving completely (died) but on hearing how long some vampires had gone without blood I didn't think I would have enough time until I was a vampire myself to observe the end result.

"Bella, Bella, are you done, Bella? Bella," Rosalie's voice roused me from my thoughts.

I smiled sheepishly at her. "Sorry, zoned out," I explained.

I started to pull my hand back when Rosalie's hands were suddenly covering them, the movement too fast for me to have seen it. "Bella, you must promise to try to learn to reverse the change, and promise you'll help me with it!"

Rosalie looked so determined when she said it, like a religious zealot about to step up and be sacrificed to his god. It scared me much more than when she had been yelling at me, even though now she was sitting and only whispered the words.

I nodded quickly.

"Swear it," she ordered, tightening the grip on my hands ever so slightly.

"I swear," I vowed.

She smiled wider than I'd ever seen her smile, white teeth glinting in the now dark room. We had been talking so long the sun had set.

"Thank you Bella, you do not understand how much it means to me."

I nodded, not trusting any response to satisfy her.

"The boys will be back soon, I'll let you get back to Alice." Rosalie stood, beckoning me to move before her.

I smiled and stood, walking ahead and waiting until she could not see my face until I let it morph into a determined mask.

I would somehow get Rosalie to like me. I couldn't have a Renesmee, but I would find another way. I promised myself this as I walked back down the stairs to the first level.

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><p><strong>Hey guys, I was thinking, to encourage more reviews, should I offer up some kind of reward? Like an excerpt from the next chapter, or a hint at what happens, or a different character's point of view for a certain scene? Maybe I could do a mixture, changing it.<strong>

**So please review guys, tell me what rewards you want and next chapter I might give them out to those who review it.**


	9. Negotiations

**Okay guys, I've figured out a kind of strategy to try and get you guys to review more. I'll discuss it further down the bottom, but I will say that it will make those few secodns it takes you to review worth you're while because no one seems to review otherwise :(**

**Here's the chappie**

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><p>8. Negotiations<p>

Alice was waiting on the couch, frowning at Rosalie and me as we entered. I sat beside her on the white couch, and as Rosalie left the room she pulled me to her so roughly I would have yelped had she not put her hand over my mouth.

I felt the tension in her from my gift, and felt how to control the arm restraining me. I almost used my gift when she pressed her lips to my ear, barely breathing the words she spoke.

"You shouldn't get her hopes up like that."

Then she released me, pushing me off her like I was dirty.

"I didn't," I mouthed. Alice glared harder. "Sorry," I mouthed.

"It's not me you need to be sorry to." She turned away, folding her arms and watching the flat screen I hadn't realized was turned on. Alice had tried not to listen, and obviously hadn't succeeded.

Was I really getting Rosalie's hopes up? I mean, I didn't set a time limit, who knows how strong I could grow with centuries of practice? Look what I could do now, as a human! Gifts only get stronger when you change.

I watched the TV without absorbing any of what was happening on the screen; my mind was elsewhere, on how I could possibly reverse the change.

I focused on Alice's body, using my gift to examine each part. It was weird, studying something this way, like I was blind and trying to feel how she was constructed. I'd never gone this far in depth, this vague in my studies. It hurt my brain to try and construct in my mind how it was all connected, find which part was the knee or the shin. I forgot as soon as I put a name to the area.

It was extremely frustrating and all I managed to do was give myself a headache. Using my gift without physical contact was even harder than with, I could not get... I guess... close enough to study the cell. It was like I couldn't zoom in further, it was the most frustrating part.

I hadn't realized how much time had passed until Alice moved. With me focusing so on her body, her ears by happenstance, I managed to detect the slight vibration in her eardrum. I couldn't know what she was hearing – it could have just been my breathing – but when her muscles tensed and flexed almost instantaneously and she was standing, I realized something was happening.

She turned to me. "If you're done daydreaming, Edward, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme will be here soon." Her eyes glazed for a moment and she smiled, "In thirty-two seconds actually."

I stood after her, smiling softly down at her.

She looked back up and rolled her eyes, placing her hands on her hips. "Don't worry; you can make it up to me by letting me dress you tomorrow. You're my sister too."

I groaned loudly, but grinned all the while. I was happy she was not angry at me for possibly hurting her sister anymore.

Then Edward was there, rather I hoped it was, because one moment I was smiling at my soon-to-be sister, the next I was off the floor and spinning around as my lips were attacked.

I laughed when my mouth was freed, grinning from my height - Edward still held me off the ground.

"It's good to see you too," I giggled.

Edward's grin was dazzling, his face more perfect than I could ever picture in my human mind. I was growing used to his looks; it now took him an effort to dazzle me into weak-kneed-hormone-driven-craziness.

Still, I made no objection that he kept his arms around me, even though I had to turn at an awkward angle to see the rest of the Cullen family watching our fiasco.

Emmett and Rosalie were in similar positions to me and Edward, except Emmett was stroking his mate's hair while she rested her head on his chest, mouth just barely moving. I guessed she was telling her mate of what had happened earlier this evening.

Carlisle held Esme's hand, both smiling warmly at us.

Jasper had come out from wherever he had hidden, and was now being wrapped in the pixie's little arms that seemed to have been forgiven for any bitchiness she had carried out that afternoon.

"Ready to go... Bella, you still want to come?" Carlisle asked, rather condescendingly, like it was detrimental to be losing sleep. It didn't matter, the teachers would probably prefer it if I was asleep in their classes.

"Definitely, someone has to stop you two attacking each other." The Cullens laughed: I wasn't joking.

888

We were meeting at the baseball clearing, of course – what major event didn't happen there? Edward ran me there, me straddling his shoulders and almost choking him (if her were human) with the strength I squeezed his neck between my thighs. I waved my hands above as I screamed/giggled in delight at the rush, while Edward laughed at my antics as he held onto my shins with an unshakeable grip.

I kept watching the low-growing branches that I was sure would hit me full in the stomach or my face vanish just after I had seen them.

The others had run ahead of us. I had to hang back to quickly but firmly warn Edward not to anger or be angered by Jacob, because I intended to spend the night not just with Edward holding me.

So all the other Cullens were at the baseball field by the time we arrived, me still sitting on Edward's shoulders, silently laughing as my head stopped spinning on my shoulders.

Then, of course, Emmett had to comment. "Don't turn your head, Eddie; we don't want you getting too excited for this meeting. What would the pack think?" Rosalie slapped his arm.

I laughed at that, still a little giddy and excitable from the ride over. I leaned over Edward's head to see his expression, my hair falling into his face just before he turned his glare away from the guffawing Emmett and back honed it on me.

"Sorry," I held up my hand's defensively.

Edward grumbled something under his breath and I was suddenly falling to the ground, landing hard on my ass. The rest of the Cullens laughed at me. I huffed and crossed my arms as well as my legs, turning my pouting face away from Edward who was smirking at my reaction.

He held a hand out for me to take. I sniffed and turned further. "You really want to spend all night down there?" Edward asked.

"So what if I do?"

Edward just laughed and moved his hand to where I could see it. "What if I bribe you with a kiss?"

Of course, I couldn't refuse that. "You better make it a good one!"

A couple of minutes later, with most of the Cullens politely averting their eyes apart from Emmett and Rosalie who seemed to be trying to beat us in the most cringe-worthy PDA.

When I caught sight of them, now on the floor, I had to stop kissing Edward to first laugh, then blush and turn away. I kind of wanted to have a shower now.

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, resting them over my Belly button. He rested his chin on my shoulder, laughing quietly, the soft gust of air from his mouth blowing sweet smelling air through my hair, across my ear, and cooling my slowly paling red cheeks.

"I've had to live with them for years," Edward whispered.

"I heard that!" Emmett called, Edward laughed in response.

"Guys, stop fooling around, because our future disappears in exactly 4 minutes and 56 seconds."

Edward turned us both around, not releasing his hold on me in the slightest, instead lifting me up so my feet were on top of his. I had to smile at the straight legged gait he was adopting, how Alice jumped to do the same with Jasper, how Edward could barely see around my head with the few inches his feet gave my height.

I jumped off when we joined the others, and Alice pouted as Jasper bodily lifted her off him and placed her to his side.

"We have to look serious to the wolves, darling," Jasper drawled at his wife. "Otherwise they might try their luck on getting rid of us."

Alice still pouted, but stood straighter at his side.

Then all the Cullens moved to form a V-shape, Carlisle at the lead with Esme and Jasper beside him. Emmett stood beside his adoptive mother, with Rosalie holding the wing. Alice also stood beside her mate, and Edward reluctantly released me to stand beside her.

I moved forward, in front of the Cullens, and stood slightly off to the side so as to not obscure their view. I planned to stop any fighting before it happened, and I knew if I stood behind the Cullens not only would it seem as I was choosing sides (or more than usual) but Edward was also likely to hold me back or pick me up and run off than allow me to try and break the fight up.

Yes, there was a treaty, but I knew most of the wolves, they would take any chance they could to take a bite out of the Cullens.

"Edward," Carlisle said, only speaking aloud for my benefit, "you'll have to translate. I don't doubt they'll come as wolves."

Edward nodded, eyes flicking from me to the woods where most of the other Cullens peered, waiting for the first peak of the pack.

Then it was silent, the only sound was the wind through the trees, the rare call of an animal, and my own breathing and heartbeat.

Then Edward spoke, his voice a little irritated and slightly impressed. "Prepare yourselves – they've been holding out on us."

What!

Yes, I knew in the book there were more wolves, but not here, not now. In the book when the Cullens met the wolves it was after finding out there was a newborn army about to attack. There were barely any newborns yet, that had to mean not all of the Quileutes had phased.

But maybe they had changed, phased, much earlier than in the book. Actually, they had to have. I knew Leah and Seth phased at about the same time, which was months ago now, so Colin and Brady and all the others must have too.

"Damn," Emmett muttered/swore. "Did you ever see anything like it?"

I ignored the urge to turn and see the other Cullens reactions, instead squinting into the woods as hard as I could.

Truthfully, I felt them before I could see them. The moonlight, partly obscured by clouds, didn't provide much light for my eyes. Unlike Bella, who could only see the wolves by the twinkle in their eyes, I could feel them; feel them as they suddenly exerted their muscles by stopping.

Judging by the force they needed to break at, they moved just as fast as Jake always bragged.

Through the hazy gaze/feeling of my gift, I could count the vague shapes by feel even at this distance; my gift was growing stronger with use.

Ten, ten wolves, they had all changed.

I could pick out where Jake would be before I saw the glinting of their eyes through the trees. I knew he would be near Sam, as beta should be, but I could tell for another reason where he was. I had studied his body so many times before, if not in wolf form, that I knew instinctively which one he was.

So when he entered the clearing, his wolf eyes immediately found mine. I waved slightly at my side, smiling just slightly with the upturn of my lips.

Even with my gift and knowing exactly where the pack would be, they were still intimidating when they stepped out into the moonlight. Each wolf was as big as a horse, even more muscled, and was grimacing with their sharp teeth shining from their muzzles. I didn't know if they did it because of the smell, or to look more intimidating, showing their weapons.

The wolves all stopped their formation a V-shape as well, with Sam, Jacob and – it took me a moment to realize – Jarred at the front.

I turned my head to watch the Cullens. Most of them were stiff backed; legs tensed my gift told me, except for Carlisle and Esme. Esme was gripping Carlisle's hand with all her might, a small worried frown marring her perfect forehead.

Carlisle tried to detangle his hand from hers, and did or said something - I couldn't see from here- that made her sigh, nod, and let go.

Carlisle turned to the wolves, smiling as wide as he could without showing his teeth, and took a slow, deliberate step forward. "Welcome."

"Thank you," Edward said in an emotionless, monotone voice, speaking for Sam. A few of the wolves made a slight growling noise but made no other move of disdain. I could tell they didn't like Edward translating for them, but none were trusting enough to appear in human form.

Knowing Edward, he was probably just editing the ruder parts of Sam's speech. I would bet five dollars Sam had a blood-sucker or leach or something the like at the end of that 'thank you'.

Edward spoke again, or Sam did through him, either way. "We are here to discuss the treaty, and boundary lines. We believe that is what you wish too."

"Yes," Carlisle spoke warmly, as to friends. He was probably the only one to think of the other like that; even Esme seemed to think the wolves were a threat to her children. "We wish to make the patrolling of the area more efficient. I have just become aware that you are losing sleep, and I know there had been many times that we have gone without feed for far longer than is good for us."

At the word feed many of the wolves growled. They knew the Cullens didn't kill humans but they still were disgusted by the thought of their hunting. I didn't see why, it was the same as eating a steak, you still kill the animal, they just drink rather than eat.

"We do not sacrifice lives for a few more minutes lying down and doing nothing." The statement sounded strange in Edward's emotionless tone.

"Neither do we abandon our territory when we hunt. You may find it hard to believe, but we care for the humans too!" Carlisle made it sound more of a plead for peace than an argument. The other Cullens stood proud at the words, like military men being awarded medals.

It was about then, when both sides were becoming more and more tense in response to the other side, and when both really didn't seem to understand why they needed to change for the _other side _that I decided to step in.

"Nether-the-less, if your guys work together, you can still be more efficient, or at least get better rested. There are holes between you're territories, as Victoria showed us this weekend. Now I don't blame either side. Wait... scratch that; I blame you BOTH!"

The Cullens' eyes were wide, Emmett's mouth actually hanging down. The wolves were huffing, their haunches rising and standing so tall they were almost standing on their hind legs. One of the smaller ones even stepped back a little.

"No fighting, okay?" My voice was a little less snappy this time, a touch of embarrassment from my outburst audible in the tone. "I just want you all to be better off." My whisper brought a smile to Esme's face, and if Carlisle wasn't watching the wolves so hard I thought he would wear a similar expression.

One of the wolves – Paul I thought – barked a strange sound that sounded like a... sarcastic laugh. That was emphasised when he shook his head and rolled his eyes, both of which I felt rather than saw.

I glared at him. "Just because I'm human doesn't mean I'm blind. I can see the bags under your eyes; hear the yawns, when I go to La Push. I don't care if you heal so fast you only need a few hours sleep, I know for a fact many of you aren't getting sleep for days."

I rounded on the Cullens. "You too, you're all slower and weaker when you haven't hunted. If you had all been well fed," I held up my hand behind me at Paul's growl, "you could have probably caught Victoria by now; she can't be much faster than you all, even if she is more agile than the wolves." I ignored the round of growls that caused.

Instead I stepped back, walked a few steps behind me and sat on the ground. Each pair of eyes watched me, wolf and vampire alike. "Proceed," I made a little waving motion.

The rest of the night was spent negotiating boundary lines, and arguing for why each group should take this or that area and what they could do better than the others. I didn't step in again, at least not physically. A touch on this muscle, a poke on that, and they calmed down, or at least realized I was watching them and ready to try and incapacitate them as best I could. Paul growled the least after the first time that night I prodded him with my gift, he probably remembered what happened last time. I didn't need to tell him I could only be that strong with my powers on physical contact.

Honestly, most of the night I spent quite bored, mostly studying the difference in the wolves' musculature systems to the vampires' and vice versa.

It had been about an hour when the russet wolf, the second biggest, Jake of course, decided he would keep me company on the ground.

Everyone stopped negotiating for a second to watch him approach. Edward especially, it was harder to see in the dark, but I was sure his golden eyes were hard and shining in jealousy.

Truthfully, I do not see why he was jealous. Right now, Jake was a dog, and maybe I'm different but I'm not attracted to dogs. I don't exactly look at them and go 'Tap that!'

Sitting on the grassy ground, which was wet by the way and made my butt feel like I'd peed myself (I hadn't), Jake seemed even more massive in his wolf form. I kept thinking he was going to squish me with one of his paws.

I waved a little at Jake, and patted the ground beside me. He was at first grimacing at my smell, then forcibly ignoring it. So that was what all the hugging and kissing Edward was doing was about, scenting me. I don't see why he didn't just pee on me to mark his territory.

Then Jake grinned, his tongue rolling off to the side and eyes glinting in the moon light. He sat beside me, grinning his dog grin. I made sure my eyes averted his bottom end; it was unfortunate what dogs showed when they sat like that. It wasn't hard; his teeth were very big and right beside my face.

He turned his head to watch me straight on, dark eyes like massive orbs in his furry face.

It was late, and I wasn't thinking, and suddenly I was patting him, and scratching behind his ear. "Who's a good doggie?" I cooed.

Yes, I think I earned it when he gave me a massive doggy lick all up the side of my face. I heard a few wolf-growl-laughs and a guffaw from Emmett as well as a slapping sound I presumed came from Rosalie. I didn't bother to swat at Jake, instead laughing and wiping the slobber off my face onto his fur.

"At least you don't have dog breath," I commented, earning another goofy wolf grin.

I wrapped my arms around his hairy shoulders, barely managing even with my long arms. He crouched down so he was lying, crossing his front paws and resting his head on top of them. I leaned my head on his shoulder. He wasn't a bad pillow, if a little furry.

Jake could still hear the negotiations in his head, and was probably contributing silently, so I didn't feel the need to blabber pointlessly beside his ear. Instead I just enjoyed the moment, watching the moon slowly descend to the horizon.

"You know, I've never had a dog," I said once after my mind had trailed off in one of its random ways.

Jacob laughed underneath me, or he vibrated like he was laughing silently. I didn't say anything more until the discussions were over, both sides trying to hide their smiles from each other. It was kind of childish, pretending they didn't want to work with the other, but each side was obviously happy with the outcome of this meeting.

I had almost fallen asleep, was half dreaming half listening, so it scared me a little when Jake stood, and pulled me from the ground with him.

"See you this afternoon Jake," I said quietly when I extricated my arms from his neck. He nodded his massive russet head, then turned and trotted over to the pack which was all converging in a circle, Sam in the middle.

As soon as Jacob left Edward was standing beside me, pulling me for the ground and carrying me bridal style before taking off to the car while grimacing at my dog smell.

"You really shouldn't have been glaring at him the whole time, Edward. Yes, I noticed."

"You should have heard what he was thinking," his smile was a hard line.

"What was it?"

"Not very... good things. I will edit. When he first sat beside you he was grinning because he was technically naked next to you." I grinned, Edward frowned. "Then he was musing –he knew he was annoying me – that you were both technically sleeping together there, and I'd never be able to literally 'sleep' with you. Of course there were also his thoughts about licking you..."

"I think I've heard enough," I stopped him. It was still a little funny, but I didn't want Edward to string the joke out too long, I'd never take Jacob seriously again.

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><p><strong>Jacob is a teenage boy, he does have thoughts like this. All the guys in my school seem to only talk and think about sex so be thankful I'm not speaking an eighth of what they say each day.<strong>

**Okay, so I was thinking that I will have a cycle to convince you guys to review - Bribes and threats. The threats will be me demanding a certain amount of reviews before I will update - the bribes will be rewards either by previews of the next chapter or POV's of different characters in the chapters.**

**This week I might have a reward for this chapter - a preview into the next chapter. So make sure you enable your PM so I can send it to you.**

**REVIEW FOR YOUR REWARD!**


	10. Disclosure

**Thanks for reviewingt those that did - hoped you like the preview**

**Here's the chapter, i have more to say at the bottom.**

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><p>9. Disclosure<p>

Alice had dropped me off that morning. I had been almost too tired to be able to say anything until I had a shower. I hadn't slept all night. Yes, last year I had barely slept at all but I was used to getting at least eight hours now. I was making the most of sleeping while I still could.

Charlie had left before I returned, all awake and calm from my warm shower. I worried about him, all the leftovers were still in the fridge, and he hadn't taken any lunch.

So I got changed really quickly, barely noticing what was around me or what I had put on, and took an apple from the fridge so I could eat it on the way to the police station. I would drop off his lunch, and maybe get a pass at lunch (if I have no detention) and make sure he eats it.

Charlie blushed when I handed it to him at work, and blushed harder when I chastised him like I was his mother for not eating enough. He'd had to drill holes into all his belts now so his pants wouldn't fall off.

The rest of the men at the station grinned at the outburst, but each one looked thinner than the last time I'd seen them, and they all had bags under their eyes. They only listened to half of my speech before they started working again.

"Okay, okay, Bella. A man can make mistakes sometimes, just get to school before the teachers that are 'picking on you'," he obviously didn't believe it, "give you a detention."

"Okay," I smiled, then leaned down and gave him a massive hug. "Take care of yourself, Charlie."

Alice almost fainted when I turned up at school. Edward was still out 'camping' as I had found Alice had told Charlie, so it was just me and her again. "Bella," she gasped, "do you know what you're wearing?"

It was then I caught my reflection in one of the windshields on a nearby car. If I had really cared about how I came off to anyone, I would have been mortified. I was wearing a dirty SpongeBob tank top, the one I frequently slept in, that was very low under my arms and showed my bright pink bra strap. I was also wearing a ruffled red almost tutu like skirt, the one that only looked good with my plain black, tight fitting shirts. My jacket was purple, and my ballet shoes were teal.

I face-palmed myself, while Alice still gawked like an outraged fairy.

Then the bell rang, and I went to class with no help from Alice's portable wardrobe (she kept some clothes in her locker) and had to endure the stares and giggles I received. I glared at any younger than me who laughed, and shoulder barged them as I passed if they were straight in front of me.

The teachers raised an eyebrow at my appearance, and grinned at me the whole lesson, asking me almost every question so everyone turned back to look at me. I swear I was about to hit someone the whole day!

Then it was lunch, and I was, remarkably, excused from my detention. I think the teachers just wanted to make sure more people saw me other than just the two others who had detention.

I went straight outside as soon as the bell rang. Alice had run to her locker, or walked very quickly at human pace, to get me some 'respectable clothing'. I ignored the laughter, almost jogging to the parking lot.

Mike had run after me, courageous from the lack of Cullens around me. "Hey, wait up!" he called.

"Hey Mike," I said, only just slowing my pace.

"So, Edward hiking today?" he asked.

"Yeah," I made it sound more like 'Duh'.

"Do you want to do something this afternoon?" he asked, hopefully. I imagined a little tail wagging behind him to match his puppy-dog eyes.

"Sorry Mike," I giggled, "I'm actually having Angela and the girls over tonight, but you're welcome to join."

"No way," Mike held up his hands, shaking his head vigorously, I laughed.

Then suddenly there was a roaring in the coming down the highway, becoming so loud I almost had to cover my ears by the time the motorcycle was in the parking lot.

"Run, Bella," I heard the driver yell.

I quickly turned to Mike. "Tell the teachers I had an emotional breakdown from all the teasing, please."

Mike was frowning, confused, but he nodded. I grinned and kissed him on the cheek, seeing Alice glaring out the window of one of the halls, clothing draped over her shoulder.

I ran and jumped on the bike behind Jake, wrapping my arms around his waist. He barely waited before he was off speeding down the highway, to La Push.

It was obvious when we reached the Quileute boundary line, as Jake immediately slowed down. He started laughing; I joined in, just as exhilarated as him.

"What spurred this kidnapping?" I asked.

"Kidnapping?" He turned a corner. "If I remember quite correctly you jumped on the back."

"Still, why'd you do it?"

"Because I couldn't wait to see you," I didn't like how seriously he said it, nor the way he looked at me when we stopped along-side the beach. It was almost like how Sam looked at Emily, like Edward looked at me. I was getting in far too deep with Jacob.

But the crap thing was that I needed him right now. I couldn't slowly distance myself from him until I'd finished using him, as bad as that sounded. Plus, I needed to find someone to replace me with.

We were walking along the beach together. Jacob had taken my hand, and I didn't pull it out, not with the huge favour I was about to ask him, anyway, it was nice, it was warm. Plus it was a little cold in my weird get up. Jake had already made a few jokes about my fashion sense, one being him just wearing shorts looked better.

Again, I took it like a champ, but I still didn't feel like asking him right away, not so soon, because after it won't be normal, I won't just be able to talk with him.

"So..." I drawled. "What's the latest pack scandal?"

Jacob winced at the word.

"Sorry, is pack offensive when non-pack members say it, like black guys saying the n-word."

"No," he shook his head quickly, "it's not that, plus you should know I take no offense to it by now, you always refer to us like that. It's just what you said hit a little close to home."

"There is a scandal?" I asked. I remembered faintly from the books that something happened, maybe Leah joined? Wait, that's already happened.

"Yeah, um, it's a little weird. Just don't go judgemental on me when I tell you."

"Sure," I smiled.

He looked down at me, not smiling, some of his shaggy long hair almost falling into his eyes. Did werewolf hair grow fast too? "You know how I told you about imprints?"

That brought me back on subject, I really shouldn't be checking out his hair, silky looking as it was – focus Bella! "Yeah, Sam left Leah for Emily. I reckon it would have to be a pretty strong bond for him to do that." I needed to find Jake and imprint, for both of us.

"Yeah well, another of us imprinted; Quil. It's getting all of the rest of us worried, that's four now, even if Paul had never met my," he took a deep breath, like it was hard for him to force out, "sister in real life. I hope stays where she is, he should go to her, I'm sure there are fewer dangers up there."

I smiled softly; I was responsible for that particular imprint. Jake didn't need to know that.

"So what's so scandalous about his imprint? How is it worse than imprinting on a photograph?"

"Paul only half imprinted, otherwise he probably would have run off or dragged Rachel here by now. The difference is, with this one, uh, okay, remember, no judging!" I nodded. "Emily had two nieces down here, and Quil hasn't been around Emily's house for a while, then Quil met Claire."

"Yes, what's wrong with that?" I prompted.

He grimaced. "Claire is two."

Even though I knew he'd say it, knew it was true, I still couldn't hide my grimace at the words.

"You promised!" Jake said, releasing my hand to frown and cross his arms. "Anyway, it's not like that. When you imprint it's like..."

"Like she's the thing that ties you to the world... just give me a second." I had to think of it another way, put a name to it. "So, it's like you are the imprint's like, soul protector, like a guardian angel kind of, there's no romantic feelings unless the imprint want them?"

"I guess," Jake shrugged, unfolding his arms to seize my hand again. I kind of wanted to pull my hand out of his massive one. "But why wouldn't she love him, when she's older of course. He's still going to look the same age, and he'll be so devoted to her, he'll probably wait on her hand and feet. You certainly like it, I noticed last year."

"WHAT?" This time I did pull my hand from his.

"Don't pretend you didn't! I did everything you asked me last year! Yes, the rewards were good, I won't deny it. I bet your little bloodsucker does everything for you too! That's probably why you dropped me as soon as he came back, because he could probably buy you the moon if you asked him too!"

Jake was shaking now, his fisted hands vibrating so fast. His nostrils were flared and his eyes hard and glaring. There was a tingle in the air, a taste like metal on my tongue, and my gift could feel his body vibrating fast, changing slightly, his shape blurred.

I stepped back, almost falling on my ass in the process, but then Jake had his eyes closed, was pressing his fists to his sides. He took many deep breaths, his jaw clenched tight in determination.

I stepped forward, placing my hands on his bare biceps, closing my eyes as I focused my gift on that little starting area, the tiny little trigger that started the change. I just turned it off; it was easy when I was in contact with him.

When I opened my eyes Jake was staring down at me, and I was once again struck by how tall he was, or maybe it was because I was so close to him, toe to toe, our chests almost touching. "Thank you," he whispered, "and I'm sorry, I-I've just been so wound up lately."

"Its okay, what you said was kind of true anyway, well, not really, but anyway." I grinned up at him, he grinned back. "I'm sure everyone likes it when people do stuff to them, are nice to them. And if you're so wound up, maybe you need another of my awesome massages."

"That'd be," Jake started before his eyes suddenly flicked down, and he gulped. "Um, Bella, I can kind of, um... see down your shirt." He coughed.

I pushed him away, laughing. "It's nothing you didn't see when I went cliff diving with you."

Jacob laughed, grabbing my hand and pulling me along as he continued walking. "True, maybe you should just walk around in a bra all the time," he teased.

"Hey, not all of us run at 107 degrees, I'd freeze."

"Or you get cold and I could see your nipples," he smirked at me.

I glared at him, and then the perfect come back struck me. "Speaking of, when you guys go around in your shorts so you don't have to carry more clothing all the time, do you also carry boxers or do you just go commando?"

"Commando, of course," he grinned.

"Then does it just slap around in there when you run? Or how about when you're a wolf, does it just..." I started before Jake cut me off.

"Um, could we please move onto another subject... please?" Jake's cheeks were flaming; teaches him for trying to embarrass me.

I couldn't help it, I laughed, guffawed, very ungraciously announcing my win by clutching my stomach and almost doubling over with my laughter.

"You have no shame," Jacob accused when my hooting subsided to giggles.

I wiped away a tear at my eye, still grinning painfully widely, "Very true."

For a few minutes we just walked in silence, listening to the sea, watching the nearby trees fluttering in the wind, and trying to avoid stepping on the unstable, dangerous looking large stones. I wasn't clumsy, but I could still break an ankle.

"Hey, do you want to go back to my place? I haven't ridden with you since... it's been ages!"

I was happy for the delay, it was too soon after Jake accused me of using him to ask him if I could use him once again.

It was...fun. I didn't realize I what I had missed about the time away from Edward until now. Or maybe, I didn't miss it, but when I had been with Jake before I definitely hadn't been in the right mind. It was like I was doing everything for the first time again, or at least had suddenly realized I had been doing everything wrong and it was so much better when I did it right.

Of course, I couldn't ignore the way Jake smiled at me when we rode, when we stopped at the rock pools and we wrapped his arm around my should so I could lean further forward, the way he would always sit as close to me as possible when we sat on the bleached log we so often used as a bench. I knew I was hurting him, and I couldn't bring myself to stop, not if it made him happy, even temporarily.

So now we were sitting on said bleached wood, once again watching the waves ripple over the pebbled shore. We were holding hands, this time initiated by me. Jake had put his hand a little further up than my knee, and that I was definitely not allowing.

"Jake," I couldn't delay to inevitable, or rather necessary.

"Yeah," he said back, his voice a little dazed, like his mind had been elsewhere.

"Can I ask you a favour?"

"Yes, whatever you want."

"Wait! Before you agree to anything I want you to make sure what you're signing up for."

"Just tell me then."

"I can't tell you, not until I'm sure you're ready for it, because you can't tell anyone about it afterwards, and I mean anyone. Can you keep a secret from the pack?" I needed to hide it from Edward, and I couldn't count on the whole pack to do that. I just hoped since Jake almost always being in La Push, and couldn't stand to be near Edward for very long at any time, that he would be a great option to include in my plan. Plus, including him was also a safeguard against Alice. If the pixie couldn't see what I was planning, she couldn't have a vision against her will that would alert Edward to my plan.

Alice also couldn't see anything yet, because if Jake said no, I knew I would need a new plan. "It would be... very hard."

My hopes fell. Victoria would go on to end the lives of tens of people, and kill three times as many for food for her creations and failed attempts.

Jake saw my change in expression, immediately jumping to deny that he couldn't keep a secret. "I could do it, you know, just go complete wolf. I've done it a few times; it's kind of calming, not thinking, just following instincts."

"So you can definitely, completely, 100% keep this secret from the pack."

"Why is it so important that the pack..." he started before I cut him off.

"I'm keeping something from Edward."

His eyes widened, as did his smile. "Then yes, I can definitely keep something from the blood...vampire. What is it?"

"Wait, I also need you to know that it will be very dangerous, if not lethal." I didn't like how he just perked up at the words, instead of them sparking wariness in his eyes like I'd hoped. "Plus it would also take up, probably, a lot of time, and you would have to drop whatever you were doing at my instruction." He had been nodding along until now; I knew this last term would be the breaking factor. "You would also, very likely, have to work with some of the Cullens."

Jake swallowed, tensing slightly. It took a few moments, but then his head moved, if slowly, up and down.

I grinned widely and literally tackled him with my hug. We both fell off the wood, hard onto the pebbles. I was streaming a bunch of 'thank-you's in between kisses him on the cheek. He was laughing and trying to roll away from the wood so we could both stand.

"God, Bella, you're kisses a slobber-y," Jake complained as he stood, wiping his cheek and grimacing.

"Hey, at least _I_ didn't lick you."

Jake blushed at the words. Yes, Edward must have been telling the truth last night when he commented on Jake's thoughts.

"Seriously, what is it, this big secret?" Nice save Jacob.

I sighed, back to the darker subject then. "There are vampires in Seattle," Jake growled slightly, he didn't like any vampires, even if they were far away. "I want them killed before they can kill many more innocents, and make more of their own."

"H-How... how do you know about this?"

"I have my ways," yes it was vague, but just like before, Jake didn't push me when he could sense I didn't want to tell something.

I had never thought very hard about telling Jake of me as in Alexis. The name felt foreign to me after all this time, of another girl, of a dream. I felt like a different person now, changed, possibly for the better. I wouldn't tell Jacob, not purposely.

So instead of explaining how I knew, I explained what I knew. Jacob was shocked and slightly irritated that I hadn't told him before that the 'red-head' was in Seattle, that last night's meeting could have been obsolete. I told him it wouldn't have made a difference, as she did attack this weekend and was likely to still attack in the future, or some of her vampires would, which is why we needed a better protection system.

You see, the vampires and werewolves kind of completed each other, to a sense. Werewolves had better hearing than vampires, while vampires had the better sight. Werewolves were louder, vampires quieter; the wolves were faster, the vampires more dexterous. When they worked together they had all of the advantages.

"She's been attacking so often lately, though," Jacob said, his brows furrowed in confusion. "How has she had time to change..." he shivered at the word, "other people?"

"I doubt she's changed many, but I am sure if we don't finish her she will change more. I think she's going to try and create a newborn vampire army to attack the Cullens so she'll have a good shot at me."

"How do you know?"

"Why else would she be creating newborns? Is she lonely do you think?" I didn't mean to sound so bitchy and sarcastic about it, and I cringed at Jacob's cringe. "Sorry," I apologised.

"No, don't be, you know more about the bloodsuckers than me. But what's so good about a bunch of freshly changed vampires? Wouldn't she have other old-leeches as friends?"

I ignored how he described the vampires, instead addressing his questions. I explained that newborns were stronger, hadn't had centuries to grow wise, and were far more likely to be loyal to her, if just out of fear or out of obligation from what she had done for them so far.

"How will we find them then, she's not likely to be with her brood is she? For that matter, how are we supposed to find her in the first place?"

"I'm working on that, I didn't want to make a plan before you said yes."

Jacob wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Bells, you should have known I could never say no to you."

"That's not a good thing," I whispered.

"What?"

"Like you said earlier, it's not good that you wait on my hand and feet. You need to do what's best for you Jake. You can still back out, as long as you keep this a secret."

"Me, back out from a chance at killing vampires? As if," he said it like it was such a small thing. When I was a vampire, I would whip his ass just to make sure he understood vampires were dangerous. That is, if I ever saw him again after I changed. I wouldn't have a daughter to tie him to my family. It made me sad to think of a future without my Jake.

With that I stood, before I could find an excuse to stay with Jake any longer. I had plans for the rest of my afternoon. "I have to go Jake."

"Edward," he forced the name like it was unnatural, another language, he was used to blood-sucker, "calling you back?"

"No, I have some human friends that need my help. If next time I see you my hand is broken, it's from today."

Jake grinned and raised an eyebrow, as if waiting for me to explain. Instead I held out my hand for him to take. "C'mon, I need a lift."

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><p><strong>Okay, this chapter is a threat chapter - or a bribe chapter. I want to have... ten reviews before I update- shouldn't be too hard, there's nine chapters for you to review on. <strong>

**I have been typing mad over easter - I'm about up to the battle scene. Chapter 21 I believe. I have also made two other character POV's for later chapters, so the only thing stopping you guys from getting most of this story out is yourselves.**

**Okay, I'm going back to typing, get reviewing guys!**


	11. Envelope

**OMG guys, thanks for the reviews. I guess I shoudl do more threats but i will do a bribe too - where I will update as soon as the 10 is reached.**

**Okay, so this chapter will be a reward, read on to find what**

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><p>10. Envelope<p>

Jake dropped me home, frowning with a determined look on his face. Was he trying not to think of what I had told him? Maybe it would be better to keep as many people in the dark, only tell them the things they absolutely had to know.

Charlie wasn't back, obviously, so I immediately called up Angela, Jessica, and Lauren. I hadn't properly hung out with them for ages, so they were all quite surprised when I invited them over. Angela had thought I would come over to her house to fill in her graduation invitations.

Angela came over first, carrying four huge bags and a thick book under her arm. I ran out to help her as she ambled towards the door, she looked like she was about to drop everything onto the wet floor.

"Thanks Bella, I can't believe you're agreeing to help me with this."

"It's no problem at all, after all, what's the point of doing all the homework the teachers give me anymore?"

Angela frowned at that. She knew the teachers picked on me, but she believed homework was supposed to be enriching, hep you remember what you studied. I supposed for her she might need it, but I didn't. Graduation was coming up soon, and soon after I would never need to study again. Once I heard something, I would remember it, and I would be smarter than most of the teachers, though sometimes I felt smarter than them now, at least in some aspects – like punishing someone for minor things they did in the past is wrong and will not make me change.

Jessica and Lauren came soon after, together, and both achieving that look of not wearing make-up or doing their hair at all when I knew that soon after I called them they both rushed to their bathrooms to fix their faces.

"Hi guys!" I called.

"Bella," they both squealed, running at me to give me a big hug.

"Oh my gosh Bella, I can't believe you skipped! Actually, I can, but you're going to be in SO much trouble," Jessica gushed.

"Yeah, the teachers all take any chances to be bitches to you, the men included." Lauren's voice was still annoying, but I could ignore that when she was on my side.

"And what the hell were you wearing?" Jessica put a hand to her chest like a soap star, over exaggerating how outraged she was. "I'm so glad you changed."

When I was waiting for Angela to come I had changed into my track pants and a plain tank-top. Yeah, even _that_ was an improvement on what I had been wearing.

"C'mon guys, let's go inside before it rains on us."

Angela and I immediately started to work on the invitations. I had already set up a DVD to play while we wrote, and started it just as Jess and Lauren came in.

The two girls took one look at the overflowing bags of envelopes and immediately gawked, coming up with excuses for why they couldn't help. Lauren had just painted her nails and had to wait for them to dry, and Jessica had hurt her hand in volleyball in Gym.

Those two chatted away, and me and Angela half listened to them and half to the movie. It took ten minutes for them to realize that they liked the movie that was playing (they hadn't realized a movie was playing until then) and stopped talking to paint their toenails and watch the show.

At the end Lauren gushed about the male lead, and Jessica bitched about the female one, how she was so skinny and wished that she could be as skinny as that. Of course we all had to tell her how pretty she was for a few minutes before she perked back up.

"So, how's the situation with Mike?" I asked Jess.

She sighed and pouted. "He said he just wanted to be friends, but then today after lunch he asked me if I wanted to go out tonight." I pretended to gasp at how terrible that was, Jessica never saw through it, it wasn't even my best acting. I had a guess to why he asked her out, after what he had said to me at lunch before I left; maybe he needed someone to make him feel wanted. I hoped Jess found a better guy when she finally moved into a town with more than two okay single guys her age in it.

There were a few more minutes of chatting about the girls respective boyfriends, what certain things the guys said meant, what he did wrong, what he did right, the funny things he did – stupid or otherwise, and before I knew it the girls were asking me what's happening in my life.

"Are you still with Edward? You ran off with that huge buff guy today," Lauren wiggled her eyebrows. Jessica pretended she was only as interested as she had been with the other girls, but I noticed how her eyes scanned my face, how she leaned forward ever so slightly.

Angela was frowning, glaring at Lauren softly then turning to me with an apologetic smile on her face. She was such a great person, worrying about how I would feel. I forgot that sometimes.

I smiled thankfully back at her, shaking my head slightly. I should have known this topic would come up. I sighed a little, and looked to the floor; it would be easier that way. It's not that I was a bad liar, anything but, I was one of the best liars there were, but I hadn't had time to make it up, or even really thought about making an excuse until now.

And for some reason, some stupid reason, I didn't want to lie, not about heaps. I just wanted someone to know about it, to understand it, to whine about it with me and pat my back with pity.

But they would think about it at school, so that meant what I could disclose was limited. "I'm still with Edward."

"Then what's with you and the Indian?" Lauren asked.

"It's...complicated."

The two chatter-boxes grinned like I'd just given them a cookie. "Tell us, tell us, tell us, please, please, please," I didn't know which said which; they both chanted the words at the same time.

"Jake was there when Edward wasn't, but Edward is here now."

"So he's your ex, but you dumped him to get back together with Edward, but you still have feelings for both," Jessica summed it up.

It hit me how simple it was then. Jessica - with her mind not swayed by the supernatural sides – had a clear view of the situation. It was painfully simpler than I had ever thought. I always made excuses for myself, saying that one was a werewolf, the other a vampire, I had to get them to work together and all this, but down to the bone I had feelings for both guys.

"I guess that's it, I thought it was a little more than that."

"Of course it is," Lauren gushed, her hand fluttering at her sides. "You have to consider to pros and cons of each guy."

"Do we really have to talk about this?" I grimaced when they both nodded. Angela sighed almost inaudibly, continuing with her work. I joined her, trying to tune out what the other two girls in the room were saying about the two most important guys in my life.

I actually blushed once. It had been a good twenty minutes of the two discussing; I wondered if they had forgotten I was there. Angela and I had almost finished the pile of envelopes – amazingly – and I only had a few more names to strike off in front of me. I had listened to the two's musings, it was hard to ignore, and the further the conversation got the more humour I could find in it.

They had just finished discussing which they believed had the better abs – Jake definitely (what can I say, I love a tan) - they started to move to... lower body parts.

"God, though, that Indian guy is so big; his junk has to be HUGE!"

"Hey but in health they told us that steroids shrink that part. Plus, the size of those things is weird, like tall Asians still have tiny-ass ones, I mean think about Eric. Edward seems like one of those guys who must have a big one, that's why he's so antsy all the time."

Of course they noticed my blush. "Oh my gosh, sorry Bella, we didn't mean to make you u..." Jessica started before Lauren cut in.

"Could you tell us, you know, just out of curiosity, which's..."

I interrupted this time, feeling my cheeks flame. "NO! I mean, um... I've kind of never gone there, with anyone."

Jess and Lauren gasped, while Angela shook her head slightly, still writing on her envelopes.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, it's just, I would have expected you at least to have..."

"Edward is very old fashioned, he's waiting until after he is married."

I didn't expect the words to inflict such squealing and giggling. I was immediately attacked by the two in a tackle/hug. They squealed and laughed and jumped and hugged me, and talked so quickly and in such high voices that I barely understood what they said. They seemed to think me saying that about Edward meant we were getting married. We were, but they didn't need to know that.

"Stop, please, stop!" I pushed them away from me. "Do you see a ring?" I asked, pushing my hand under their noses.

They immediately quietened, looking at me pityingly. "We're sorry, we just thought..."

"Just... just don't jump to conclusions, please?" I settled back down to the work, to find it was all done. Angela was smiling at me while she collected the envelopes; it was still that sad smile.

"I've got to go; Ben said he wanted to take me to the movies tonight. It'll probably be another kung-fu movie but," she shrugged.

"I think what you have is really cute," Jessica cooed.

"Yeah, you guys deserve each other. Your two together are so sweet, happy, infatuated..."

"Uncomplicated," I added. "You'll have a great life together."

Angela patted my arm softly at the words.

"I'll help you take your stuff outside." I declined her protests.

Jessica and Lauren both left, calling goodbyes over their shoulders after hugging me quickly. Talking about Ben had just reinvigorated their efforts to make both of their relationships better. I could hear them discussing what they thought Mike and Tyler needed to work on. I shook my head as I carried the last bags to Angela's car.

Angela gave me a huge hug, smiling widely. "Gosh, I miss you Bella."

"What?" I giggled, frowning. "You see me every day!"

"Yeah, and I never get to talk to you anymore. You're never at lunch, you always sit with either Edward or his sister, and on the off chance you are at the cafeteria, and you all but ignore us all. Yeah, you nod along, you add something sometimes, but I can see, everyone can see, you aren't listening. Ben and I actually have a competition between each other for coming up with the most original idea for what you are day dreaming about."

I laughed with her at that. She could be pretty close with most of her ideas about daydreaming. Angela was strangely – or annoying, it changed upon the situation – observant. It was a little disconcerting. "I'm sorry about that."

"And the way you talk to us sometimes, it's like you never expect to see us again."

I cringed at that. "I hope not," I knew I wouldn't, "but graduation is coming up," and I'll be for all intents and purposes dead to them.

She frowned slightly at me, looking slightly taller for once. Angela was one of the only girls I knew who was as tall as me after I had my growth spurt. "And you're going to Alaska," she sighed.

I nodded. "I'll write to you and send pictures, I promise."

She smiled genuinely this time. "You have to send me a picture of a polar bear!"

I grinned widely. "I promise that will be one of my goals!" I'd be likely to be able to take a photo of one much easier than other people too; I'd been able to sneak up on it.

"This was fun Bella; we should hang out more often."

I nodded; I did definitely want to make the most of my human friends while I could. "We definitely should."

"See you then!" She hugged me.

"Bye!"

I waved at her from the driveway as she drove off, waiting a few minutes before I went inside. I would hang out with them more, I would! I knew it was bad for someone who wanted to be a vampire, but I wanted them to remember me.

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><p><strong>Okay, this reward is a seperate POV, it's actually Jessica's. I know its a little strange, but I wanted to do it.<strong>

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	12. Visitor

**Hope all you guys liked the Jess POV. If you didn't get it and you want it you know what to do (review last chappie)**

**I'm getting close to writing the end of this book, it's actually amking me sad. I grew to like this book, even though I tjought I wouldn't.**

**Read on readers!**

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><p>11. Visitor<p>

I was bored. I had Charlie's dinner ready – there were enough leftovers to heat up until next Christmas... okay, a little over exaggeration, but the freezer and fridge was packed with leftover stews, curries, casseroles, bakes, pretty much anything that I could make that was warm and I could make a lot of. I might be away a couple of days; I wanted Charlie to be able to feed himself at short notice.

I ignored the pile of homework I had to do; studying was no fun without Edward, especially when I knew there would be no reward of good marks at the end, no matter how well I did. The teachers had managed to not award me multiple choice questions now, "You were supposed to tick the right answer, not circle it." I was beginning to hate them as much as they did me.

So, I resigned myself to cleaning. I cleaned to kitchen, Charlie's room (a massive mess, he barely had time to sleep much less clean after himself), the lounge room (quite messy despite the fact that I cleaned it often, for the same reason as Charlie's room), and cleaned the bathroom. I had started cleaning my room, and was going to vacuum the house after.

I frowned when I entered, it seemed... different. I cocked my head to the side, trying to place what it was. It smelled different, not strongly but my room normally smelt of Edward kind of mixed with my scent. I couldn't smell whatever freesia and stuff Edward goes on about with my scent. But I can definitely recognise my own scent, even if it only smells like me after exercise only diluted.

Then I heard the doorbell. I immediately smiled, forgetting the change of my room, and ran downstairs. If it was Jake I was happy, if it was Edward I was happier, if it was Charlie I was happiest. What? He hadn't been home this early since before Edward left.

I was second happiest, well; I was until I noticed what Edward looked like.

His golden eyes widened as I opened the door, and his nostrils flared. I had a theory about the eye-change, a bad one; the poison from thirst had a chemical that somehow coloured on the iris.

"Sorry," I smiled, "I saw Jacob today. I'll go take a shower."

"No," Edward's hand suddenly flew to my chest, pushing me back against the wall so he could walk through. I was surprised, he was usually so polite. Then his hand tightened on my far arm, and he pulled me behind him, in an all too familiar super-protective kind of way.

I rolled my eyes. "Jacob isn't here."

"It isn't him; it isn't anything to do with that." Edward's voice was low and gruff; his nostrils still expanded that somehow still looked good on him. Then I heard a very distinctive noise come from that nose, a sniff.

"Um, I was cleaning today?" I was confused now, especially when Edward stalked slowly forward, into all of the rooms, holding me behind him as he did.

I was glad for a moment when he let go of me, his hands were hard and they gripped tightly, especially when he was in all defensive mode.

It all crashed down on me when he bent down and sniffed at the floor, and the couch top.

"Who's been here?" I was almost surprised by the sombre, emotionless tone my voice had.

Instantly Edward was standing up. "Someone's been here, a vampire, not one of us."

"Who, is it Victoria?" It was an effort to keep my voice sounding scared, a calm scared yes, but still scared. I had to act, to keep the actual emotion I had slipping out.

It was panic, outrage, and anger. This couldn't be happening now. It was so much earlier than it was in the book wasn't it? I knew I was a few months behind. I guess I had been fulfilling what book-Bella had done in the future, the Jacksonville trip for instance, but did that mean everything had to happen faster?

I was hoping Riley hadn't even been changed yet, though I knew he was just past newborn in the battle of the book, so he must have been created soon after James was killed, maybe as a replacement mate. Maybe that was where Victoria got the idea, after she had made a newborn companion for herself.

"No, I don't recognise the scent..." he looked up to the second story, hand once again claiming my arm. "Come with me."

I shook his arm off. "I can walk, anyway, no one's here, you would have heard them."

"Unless they are like you," he countered.

I huffed, conceding, but swatting away his rising hand. "I'll walk behind you."

Despite my promise, Edward went running ahead at vampire speed. I presumed into my room, and slowly walked up the stairs, trying to compose myself.

Riley had been to my house already. Victoria was planning already, and I hadn't even started planning on how we were going to counteract her, much less how to organise the few I could trust to keep a secret from my over-protective vampire boyfriend. I sighed.

"What is it?" Edward was suddenly at my side, slipping his hand around my waist.

"Nothing," I needed to be quieter in my brooding.

"The scent is stronger in your room."

"I knew something seemed off about it." I walked into the room, checking for what I knew Riley had taken. Well, I didn't know what he had taken, but I wanted to see what he had.

I frowned, scanning the room. I noticed a few changes right away. "My pillow is missing... and that other SpongeBob shirt that I didn't wear to school."

"You were wearing _that _at school?" Edward chuckled, lightening the mood for a moment.

"Hey, I like those shirts."

"Now you mention it, the scent is strongest around the bed, and your closet."

On inspection of my closet, I growled.

"What is it?" Edward was over my shoulder, his voice anxious.

"They stole my favourite high heels." They did NOT steal those shoes. I was so going to get them back.

I turned at the sound of Edward laughing. "Sorry, it's just, that's what you're worried about? A strange vampire came into your home and you're worried that they stole your shoes!"

"They stole my joggers too!" That just spurted more laughter. I grumbled under my breath about rich people and under appreciation.

"Oh Bella," suddenly I was on my bed, Edward's arms around me; "can't you see it's the things that don't cost money that are important? Like the fact you still have your father."

"Wait, how old is the scent."

"That's the annoying thing. While we were away, while we were ALL away at that meeting last night, they sneaked in."

"Who would have left my dad alive?"

"Someone who was coming to check up on you, to check if you were still human, which you obviously are, unless you had left for your change in the last few hours," Edward made it sound like it was obvious.

I couldn't prove him wrong. "The Volturi," I tried to put the right amount of awe and fear in my voice, which wasn't nearly as much as I imagined book-Bella would have. I wasn't that frightened of the Volturi, wary yes, but not frightened. They were like the government of the vampire world, okay, more of a dictatorship, but they had more things to worry about than one human who knew about them, especially when she would soon be changing soon.

"Most likely, who else would leave your father untouched while he slept? But I will call Emmett and Jasper and make them scout the woods."

I frowned at him, crossing my arms. "What is it?" his brow furrowed at my expression.

"Isn't there someone else you should be calling? Someone just as capable, if not more, of tracking scents..." I let my voice trail off, waiting for his answer.

"The wolves," he sighed, and nodded. "Maybe it would be better if you called them. It will be less degrading for them to answer to your request than one of ours."

I called Sam, and Emily picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi Emily, its Bella," I replied.

"Oh hey Bella, what is it?" she seemed happy to hear me. I liked Emily, and as far as I knew she liked me too, or had before the Cullens came back. Whenever she saw me drop Jake's hand or unravel his arm from around my waist she would frown slightly. It was like she had adopted all the pack members under Sam, she didn't want me hurting one of her sons – never mind the fact she was only a few years older than most of the boys.

"There's been a... problem, here." I would put it lightly for her, or wait until I could talk directly to Sam or one of the pack members.

"You know you can come here whenever you like, our couch is always open." I grinned at the words; she thought I meant something had happened between me and the Cullens.

"No, it's not that, but thank you anyway. It's um... are there any p..."

"Paul's here," she finished for me. I heard the rustling as she handed the phone over to him, the muttered 'pack business' she offered as the only explanation.

"Hello?" Paul sounded confused at the other hand, and slightly irritated, like he usually sounded actually.

"Hi Paul"

"Oh, it's you, Jacob isn't..." I interrupted before he could finish that sentence. Paul didn't like how I strung Jake along any more than any other pack member, and that annoyance could easily turn to anger with Paul.

"There was a vampire in Forks last night."

Immediately Paul's voice was more business-like, he knew I didn't mean a Cullen. "The red-head?" he asked.

"No, the Cullens couldn't recognise the scent. Two are scouting the woods now," I knew he didn't care what their names were, "but I thought some of the pack might be able to do a better job, better noses and all that."

"I'll tell Sam," with that he hung up. I sighed and placed the phone back on the holder.

Edward was watching me, it had taken him the time it took me for Emily to pick up to be finished explaining to Emmett.

"Alice is coming over," he said.

"Why?"

"To explain," a touch of anger crept into his voice as he said that.

"Hey, don't blame her for not seeing this."

"But she should have seen this." He raked a hand through his hair, his face suddenly worried. "What if you had been here, like I wanted you to be? You could be dead or abducted or..."

I had to stop him there, talking a big step forward and outing my hand on his lips. "Sh," I commanded softly. I moved my hand to the side of his face, he leaned into it. "Alice can't see everything, even I know that and you've known her much longer than I have."

Edward brought his hand over mine. "I know." He slipped the other underneath mine, moving it to me, to place it over my chest, over my heart. "This is all that is important to me; forgive me for wanting to make sure it is safe."

"Do not yell at Alice, you have her watching too much at once... what, she tells me things."

"You're right, I'll apologise when she comes, and she probably already saw me yelling at her." He grinned, I joined him.

Alice came in a few minutes. Edward and I were sitting on the couch. The little pixie stormed in, holding up her hand to quiet us when Edward moved to apologise and I to say hello. "No, I saw you yell, and I saw you apologise – by the way, you're forgiven – but what I want to do is know who this freak that got past me is before the wolves come and stink it up."

Then she was gone, and I was trying to hide my smile, Edward wasn't making any attempt. "Alice will be Alice."

"Too right I will be," she was back already, sitting on the other side of me. "You disappear in forty-three seconds, Bella, you don't Edward, so I think you should come with me and get out of the dog's way." Alice spoke in quickly and commandingly, grabbing Edward's arm when he didn't immediately obey and dragging him outside.

"Um, bye," I called as I watched them go, Edward looking apologetic while slightly amused, Alice looking like a very determined midget who would walk through a body-builder if they got in her way. I giggled slightly at the picture.

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	13. Dinner

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><p>12. Dinner<p>

I shouldn't have been surprised to see it was Jake they sent over. He grinned widely when he saw me, and then scrunched up his nose at the smell. "Nice to see you again," he bowed, gentlemanlike, the motion marred by the fact he was wearing only shorts. "How may I be of service?"

"Good to see you two, and I require your nose if you will." I swept my arm towards the stairs. "Apparently the intruder's smell is worst in my room."

His grin dropped at the words, I felt him tense slightly with my gift. "I'll be right back."

He jogged up the stairs. I sighed and moved back to the lounge, plopping onto the seat and dropping my head onto the pillows. I tried to watch what was on TV, but I'd seen all the Seinfeld episodes so many times all it did was bore me.

I tried to focus now, think about the plan. I couldn't do it when Edward was here, my subconscious didn't let me even though I knew he could not here my thoughts. I could barely think about it around him past that fact that I knew I had to somehow find a way to tell Alice without Edward knowing. I knew this would spurt a round of protectiveness; Edward was unlikely to leave my side for a second that was not necessary – just Alice wouldn't be enough protection for him. He might leave me with the wolves, but I wanted to tell Alice before I recruited other Quileutes, she needed to know not to tell Edward that my future suddenly disappeared from this date onwards.

"Whew!" I jumped slightly - I hadn't heard Jacob come down the stairs. Did everyone have to be able to materialize without any warning? "Sorry," and of course he had to see my reaction, I peaked over the back of the couch to see him grinning. He didn't bother to walk around the couch; he just jumped over it and landed beside me. "Well, the scent was easy enough to catch. By the way, you're room reeks."

"I'll by some Glen20."

He laughed. "And some deodorant too, you smell Bella."

"Yes, yes, vampires smell and all that." I waved above my head to show just how much I cared about that. He can breathe from his mouth.

"Hey, I just did you a service? I don't charge in bitchiness."

I smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, and thanks for helping."

"I do charge in hugs though," he continued from his last words. I rolled my eyes, and obliged.

Of course then Jake had to try and joke me and throw me in the air at the same time. He laughed at the grunt/squeal that flew from my mouth as he did. He practically flung me to the opposite side of him, except the couch wasn't big enough for that so I was half sitting on his lap, laughing slightly at his eagerness.

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked, not releasing me from his boa-constrictor hold.

"You just did." Yes it was lame, I liked lame jokes.

Jake rolled his eyes, but asked anyway. "I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything but... I'm sure I give better hugs than _him._"

"I don't know - Edward doesn't try to puncture my lung when he hugs me."

Jake loosened his hold a little, only a little. "No, I'm serious, I mean, what's it like having a vampire as a boyfriend? I mean, doesn't it ever creep you out?"

"Nope," I popped the p.

He frowned, quiet for a moment. Then his arms fell slack, and I took the opportunity to resume my seat. It was much more comfortable than the space between his knee and the armrest.

"What else?" I knew he wanted to ask another question.

"Well, um, I was wondering, you know, do you ... kiss him?" I nodded, he wrinkled his nose, shuddering. "But he's a rock! And don't you ever worry about the fangs?"

"Jacob," I slapped his arm, which jarred my middle finger. I forced myself to ignore it. "You know he doesn't have fangs! You're incisors are bigger actually."

"That's not the only thing," I thought I heard him mutter, or maybe it was "What's an incisor thing?"

I ignored it, whatever it was. The first reminded me much too much of the conversation earlier today, the second made me feel guilty for how much school I was making him miss.

"Can I ask another?"

"Fire away."

"What's it like, having a werewolf as a best friend?"

I turned to him, raising an eyebrow. "I wouldn't know. I've only seen a werewolf a couple of times. I suppose it'd be like having a really smart dog. Having a Jacob as a best friend..." Jacob was grinning; I joined him, "that's the best."

I always told myself Alice was my best friend, but so many times I preferred Jacob to her, and I realized why now. I had always put Jacob under another title, not best friend, but something higher that I hadn't quite put a name too. I still couldn't put Jacob under the title of best friend in my head, not when I felt like him the way I did – it was like calling you're life's work a minor hobby, degrading.

"Thanks Bella," he took my hand and pulled me into another hug, not quite and bone-crushing as the last one. It did feel nice, but I couldn't say if it was better than Edward's or not, not when I was swayed by the cold weather.

Then I heard the key rattling in the door, and the grunt that sounded when Charlie realized it was unlocked. "Bella," he called as I heard the door bang shut behind him.

"In the lounge," I called back.

"Bella you really shouldn't leave the door unlocked, someone could... oh hey Jacob!" Charlie sounded tired, but excited and happy when he saw Jacob. Charlie was never shy with showing how much he preferred Jacob to Edward. "Is Billy here?" Charlie looked around the room as if expecting Billy to spring on him from his wheel chair.

"Sorry Chief Swan, it's just me."

"Are you staying for dinner?" it sounded more of an invitation than a question.

Jacob turned to me, grinning mischievously. "That'd be good."

I frowned at him, and then turned to Charlie. "Edward will be home soon."

"You spent all weekend with that boy, he can share you for a few hours."

Jacob grinned wider; I crossed my arms, sighing. He planned this; he must have known Edward would leave when he was here. He definitely knew Edward was back, he hadn't actually left. My show of frowning just made Jacob laugh and punch my arm lightly.

"Hey, it's a few more hours of me – what's not to love? You didn't object this afternoon." Jake puffed up his chest at the words, teasing me – it was much more subtle when he was trying to subconsciously impress me, just like when he flexed his arm muscles whenever he knew his arm was going to pass near my face. Yes, I had noticed because lately he was doing it a lot more often, he hardly ever did before Edward came back.

"What happened this afternoon?" Charlie, for once, sounded a little like how he sounded when I talked about Edward, like he was worried I was doing Edward every second I wasn't in my father's view.

I said, "Nothing."

But of course Jacob had to say at the exact same time, "Bella skipped with me."

I brought my hand to my face, shaking my head, waiting for the onslaught.

"WHAT?" Charlie bellowed.

"Whoops," I heard Jake whisper, I removed my hand my face to glare at him.

Then I turned to Charlie, putting my best innocent face on and pouting a little. "I wasn't skipping, per say, more like I was kidnapped by him," I jutted my thumb out towards Jake.

"Hey, you didn't struggle much," I was glad Jake was playing along, to an extent; at least he didn't insist that I had jumped on the back of his bike.

"Jake, you really shouldn't do that," Charlie's tone was far too light to be properly condescending. He almost sounded proud of Jake; stupid parents and their obvious favourites.

"Hey, on the plus side, she can't get any worse grades. Yes, she told me, and I believe her – you should too! I bet you that if you demanded to see her folio of work and the answer sheets you'll see she got it right. Hell, she tutors me and I'm getting better grades than her!" That annoyed me to no extends, if I couldn't be taller, stronger, or faster than Jake and the wolves, I should at least be smarter, and the only really way I knew to compare that was my grades. I just couldn't an account of the changing variable on my side of the story, the fact that all my teachers were bitches, males included.

Charlie sighed, "You believe that too."

"It's true," both me and Jacob insisted at the same time.

"It is true."

I gasped at the sound of that voice, a little ashamed at how horrified I sounded. It's just Charlie AND Jacob were here, probably his two mortal enemies – well, Charlie wasn't his mortal enemy, but he sure hated him enough.

His golden eyes looked slightly sad at the sound, so I quickly placed a smile onto my face, forcing away the confused, worried, and slightly annoyed look that wanted to take control of my features. Did they have to put me through this right now? Jacob shouldn't even be in the same town as Edward, he might let something slip. I felt even more worried.

"Hey Edward," I said a little late to sound normal. It was obvious the other two were not going to say it first; they were both glaring at various strengths at my vampire boyfriend.

"No offense to you or anyone Chief Swan, but it is true, they do not award her the marks she deserved."

Charlie harrumphed; Jacob looked torn between wanting to argue with everything Edward said and admitting that he was sometimes right. Eventually he reluctantly grumbled his agreement, though criticizing the 'fancy way' Edward explained it.

I was extremely aware of the tense atmosphere in the lounge, and also feeling the intense need to escape it. "I'll, um... get dinner ready."

Edward joined me in the kitchen, and thankfully Jacob and Charlie stayed in the lounge room, watching football. At least, I thought they were both watching football, but when I turned around to carry the plates to the table, I saw Jacob watching me, or watching Edward over my shoulder to see if he would make any move towards me.

Edward was being painfully civil and quiet, we barely spoke while I worked, and he just sat to the side, occasionally helping by stirring the heating stew on the stove or chopping some of the vegetables for side dishes.

"Dinner is ready," I called over the game, Charlie stood, and I glared when I saw him push a file off to the side that had been resting in his lap.

"Dad, you need to have a break, you can't keep working like this. It's no fun hugging a sack of skin and bones."

Charlie grinned sheepishly, but I could see the guilt in his eyes. He didn't like that he was working so often, leaving me alone so often, but against the threat of others lives it was a small sacrifice. I just wished I could tell him the sacrifice was for nought, he wouldn't find the killer – that was my responsibility. I sighed.

Jake frowned a little, he didn't like how much Charlie worked either, it was like I would feel if Billy was working too hard – like I felt when I knew he was stressed from his son's first phase.

Edward just smiled softly at me, he knew Charlie would react very badly to any sympathy he showed towards me or my father - it would be insulting to Charlie either way. Directed at Charlie it would seem as if Charlie wasn't hard enough for his job, towards me it would seem Edward thought Charlie was a bad father for neglecting me. It was complicated, I bit back another sigh.

Dinner was ... awkward. Edward didn't eat – of course – making excuses that he had eaten before he came. The atmosphere of the room was very awkward, it was quiet, and any conversation was strictly between Charlie and Jacob, they refused to acknowledge the fact that Edward was there apart from sometimes glaring at him. They changed the subject when I tried to include Edward, I ended up all but ignoring them and answering any questions they directed me with one or less syllables.

Despite this Jacob still managed to eat the rest of the stew, meaning the huge pot I had cooked and I was waiting to cool enough to put back in the fridge, it would've lasted me and Charlie the rest of the week before Jacob polished it off. Then he had grinned at me, clapping his hands together with the words "Is there dessert?"

I served him the rest of the pie I had made for when I left for the weekend. Soon he was leaning back on the chair, patting his slightly protruding stomach, and seaming in danger of breaking the wood that squeaked as he moved on top of it.

I shooed them out of the room then, making excuses of having to clean the table (I had finished most of the dishes while Jake stuffed his face). Truthfully, I just wanted the stiff atmosphere to dissipate, the tension I had felt in Jake and Edward's bodies all night had made my muscles sore. I rolled my shoulders while I wiped the table clean.

"Jake was keeping something from me tonight," my heart spiked at Edward's words, and I willed it slow, whirling around to face my vampire boyfriend.

"Edward, don't creep up on me like that," I whisper/yelled, using it as an excuse for the higher heart rate.

"Sorry," he grabbed a tea towel and started drying the parts of the table I had cleaned, I smiled softly.

"What do you think it is?" I kept my voice subdued, only slightly curious, when I was really fretting Edward had found out, and on the first day!

"I only caught a glimpse, but I can guess. Bella, Jacob is in a lot of pain, you really need to let him be so he can move on, get better."

I was insanely relieved, well, for a moment, and then I felt immensely guilty; not only for how I was treating Jacob, but for how I was also treating Edward. I couldn't help but notice the hopefulness in his voice as he asked me to break it off with Jacob. I knew he knew I had feelings for Jacob, if not as strongly as for him.

"You know I can't do that Edward."

"I don't see why. As much as you like to think it, you aren't the thing stopping the pack and us from annihilating. We have a treaty, and before they attack us we'll run – none of us have any intention of killing any of the dogs, regardless of how they feel about us. You also aren't Jacob's only friend, and if he's anything like me each moment you spend with him he'll grow more attached – more in love with you. I think you underestimate how... spidery... you are."

"Spidery?" I stopped what I was doing to raise any eyebrow. I had to try and ignore the rest of his speech, it hit very close to home.

"I don't mean in a 'freaky-gross' way, to quote your ideas on arachnids." I frowned at his smirk, and then his face turned more serious, golden eyes amazingly deep, showing far too many strong emotions for my liking, especially when most of the margin showed pain. "You catch boys in your in your subtle web, attaching thin almost unnoticeable strands until we find ourselves trapped."

"What a wonderful way to describe me, you should write it in my yearbook." No, it was not flattering to be referred to as a spider.

"I didn't mean you have malicious intentions, it's your instinct; you do it unconsciously. It's just, ugh," Edward groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "This isn't coming out right."

"And I thought you were the articulate, always reserved one." I grinned at him, chucking the dirty towel in the sink and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"You jumble me up," he echoed my motion, encasing me in his stone arms.

"Is there any way you could describe me that doesn't make me sound like an evil witch casting spells to destroy boys?"

Edward kissed my forehead, "As many ways as there are stars in the sky." Then he bent down to whisper in my ear, "But unfortunately the negatives are a bit more prominent at the moment."

"You do know I can hear you two," Jacob said, suddenly leaning against the doorway to the kitchen. I had the sudden urge to step away from Edward, as stupid as it was.

But the look on Jacob's face, the blank/emotionless face I knew he adopted when forcing himself to calm, maybe it wasn't too bad an idea to not openly display my being with Edward in front of him. I didn't know what Edward was talking about, as far as I could tell it was the two of _them_ that tied string around _me_.

Edward looked at the much younger boy sympathetically, though there was no apology in his eyes, he knew he was right, he could read Jacob's mind.

I turned my head from watching Edward back to Jake, to the expression I wished never existed. "I'm sorry Jacob," I whispered, knowing he could hear me as easily as if I shouted. Edward wouldn't apologise, but I felt the need to. I realized startlingly I wasn't apologising for Edward's almost disrespectful portrayal of the werewolf's feelings, I was apologising for making them.

Jacob eyes softened a little, the mask slipped for a moment. He seemed about to say something, and then closed his mouth glaring at Edward. Then he sighed, probably remembering again that Edward could hear every though and therefore what he had been about to say.

Then Jake bowed his head, and his shoulder fell, he looked at me through his eye lashes, his face contorted in a mixture of emotions that made him suddenly look so weak, so tired, that I stepped away from Edward to wrap my arms around the Quileute's waist. I ignored the pang the motion caused in me, the stab of guilt for doing this in front of Edward.

He smiled sadly down at me, wrapping his arms back around me. I felt his heart thrumming as I leaned my head against his chest, the steady deep drum beat of it. His arms felt so warm after Edward, so large and soft.

Those black eyes looked deep into hers, his like an abyss she would never see the bottom of. "Don't be sorry," he whispered, warm breath tickling my ear, "I don't regret any moment I've spent with you."

I felt like he had just stabbed me, my guilt and self-anger at the situation I've put him in was like a knife under my ribs. I grimaced at the feeling and Jacob's smile fell.

"Bella...?" Charlie was suddenly in the doorway, frowning at the strange arrangement of the three in his kitchen. I supposed it was a little odd, me hugging the boy who was just my friend, several feet away from who was my actual boyfriend.

Jacob stepped away from me, subtly pushing me back towards Edward. "I was just leaving. Bella was saying goodbye," Jake explained.

Charlie nodded in understanding, looking a little upset his best friend's son was going.

Jacob paused for a moment, eyes un-focusing, before he grinned widely at me. "Chief Swan, you wouldn't mind if Bella came to a bonfire at La Push tomorrow would you?"

Charlie turned to me, asking me with his eyes, though they looked far too eager for just an unbiased question. "No I wouldn't mind," then his eyes flicked to Edward, before turning back to me as his back straightened, "I never mind when Bella hangs out with you Jacob." He didn't need to say anything to show he meant he did mind it when I went somewhere with Edward, that he would always prefer Jacob.

"Bella, please come?" Jacob pouted slightly, looking very cute and slightly excited. The only thing ruining his expression was the hint of the smirk at his mouth I knew was an unconscious reaction to him finding a way to stick it to Edward.

I sighed, eventually nodding. Jacob grinned and swept me into another hug. I giggled slightly and batted (softly) at his chest, squealing for him to let me go.

"You only get so many hugs per day; now go before your breach your allowance." The threat was marred by the giggling, wavering, high tone of my voice.

Jacob pouted again, but his eyes were twinkling like he was grinning. "Bye Bella, bye Chief Swan," of course he didn't farewell Edward. My boyfriend returned the favour, ignoring the werewolf and seizing my side when the Quileute left.

Charlie frowned at Edward as he made the motion. "It's getting pretty late, you should go too."

Edward nodded, no argument there, it was probably better hanging out in my room at night than in front of my father anyway.

Like the gentlemen he was Edward softly took my hand, bending to kiss the top of my palm. I grinned sillily at the motion. "I will see you later Bella, sleep well."

"You too!" That made him grins, and kept me smiling while he walked from the room.

When he was out of sight, probably not out of earshot though, I rounded on Charlie, using my full height to glare at him as I placed my hands on my hips.

"What..." he started before I interrupted.

I pointed to him, narrowing my eyes. "You, stop working now! You need some sleep! Come on, I'm escorting you to your bedroom so I can make sure you'll get to sleep. If you really need to you can read a file or whatever in your bed, but you are NOT getting a bad neck from all these stupid cases you can't do anything about!"

"Bella, I can do something, Seattle..."

"...is far from here and whoever killed those people will not be here! Let their police handle it; all you are doing is ruining your health and worrying me! I do not need the stress right now, graduation is coming in a couple of months and, even though the teachers will probably fail me no matter what, I still have to study and do as well as I can. Hey, you want a case you _can _do something about? Investigate the teachers; it isn't fair what they are doing."

"Bella, I'm sure..."

"No, I'm not arguing with you right now!"

"You have no right to speak to me like this, young lady. I am your father!"

"Yes, you are," the anger in my voice dissipated, and I found myself running to hug the man, arms wrapping tight around his waist that was unfamiliarly smaller. "That's why I'm so worried about you, Dad, I love you, I care about you – someone has to, you certainly aren't taking good care of yourself."

"Charlie was quiet, and then he slowly wrapped his arms around my waist. I looked up (barely, I was almost his height) and found him blushing slightly at the display of emotion. His cheek flamed redder at his next words, "I love you too Bells, I'll try to take better care of myself."

"You can start with an early night," I grinned, unwrapping my arms from his waist to push him lightly towards the stairwell.

"I will, Bella, I'm sorry, and thank you."

"You're welcome, but not forgiven until I see your getting better."

Charlie grinned ruefully, and then made his way upstairs. I shook my head, following a few moments after, moving into my room when I heard the shower start.

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><p><strong>This is just a normal chappie, the next one will be a treatbribe one. So review guys, there is no needed amont but you know I love reviews.**


	14. Bonfire

**Hey guys, sorry for the wait - I wanted to write two different POV's for this chappie.**

**It's a long one, so read on!**

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><p>13. Bonfire<p>

The next day was much like every other, school, detention – apparently I had been chewing gum and swallowed when the teacher checked? After lunch/detention I had more classes, receiving tests/assignments with my marks just barely passing (after all if they marked me down to a FAIL Charlie may get suspicious) and receiving more that I knew I would do well and not get the deserved marks.

I knew my actual effort in school was slipping, and if the teachers kept this charade any longer I knew I would stop trying all together.

After school I spent with Edward, forcing myself to do an assignment when I would have rather just stared into the eyes of the guy next to me ... or done some other stuff that didn't involve my eyes at all.

Edward, however, insisted on my working hard. He was certain the teachers would unanimously forgive me soon (some of the nicer teachers had actually awarded me C plusses). I didn't believe that, but I humoured him.

Then it was time, I would have forgotten, or at least been late, if I didn't sense the mood change in Edward.

The closer the time came the more, I wouldn't say agitated – that hinted to twitching and nervous moving – no, Edward was not agitated, more overly attentive. He moved closer to me, taking my left hand in his own and rubbing the back as I wrote.

Then the hair playing started, and I grew suspicious. When he kissed my neck I knew something was up, and almost immediately remembered why he would want to make the most of these few minutes.

"Is Jake close?" I asked.

Edward sighed, "Am I that obvious?"

I turned to him, smiling softly. "No," I answered, placing a kiss on _his _neck, "I just know you too well."

Edward grinned and wrapped his arms more tightly around me, lifting me up and onto his lap. "No, he isn't close, but he will be coming in the next 30 minutes if the bonfire is still taking place at the same time he thought of yesterday."

"We better make the most of the time then," I whispered.

A long make-out session and a touch of oxygen deprivation later, Edward pulled away, frowning and pouting so cutely I considered staying here, with him. It only took a glance of Charlie's work still littering several different areas of the house for me to smother that thought. I had to stop Victoria; I would use this time to plan with Jacob. "I'm still going."

Edward sighed, arms loosening so I wriggle off his lap. "Don't stay out too late."

"Who are you, my father?" I teased as I walked up to my room. I needed to brush my hair, and maybe put some deodorant on. I didn't have to hurt Jacob more than necessary.

"Thank god not," Edward's arms were suddenly around me, pulling my back towards his chest. He kissed the back of my neck as I tried to pull his arms off. After ignoring my struggling for a few moments he sighed again, sweet breath tickling my ear, and let go. "Go; get ready for your d-friend."

I hated the pain in his voice even if it was mostly covered in his anger and annoyance at Jacob. "I'm sorry, Edward."

He watched me as I brushed my hair, and smirked as I emptied my bottle of deodorant on myself. "Doesn't he like how you smell? I certainly do."

"No, he doesn't like how _you _smell," I corrected.

"Well maybe he should shove a peg on his nose and get over it."

I grinned, Edward had whispered the words, but loud enough for me to hear. Then the doorbell rang, and I realized he might not have said it for my benefit.

"Hey," I greeted my friend as he opened the door.

His response was to cover his nose and cough. "Oh my god Bella, did someone try to drown you in lynx?"

"It's nice to see you too."

Jake's eyes then moved over my head, and his eyes narrowed. "I'll look after her," he said thickly, like he wished he could growl the words.

"You better," Edward's voice replied. I turned to see he had followed me downstairs and was currently leaning against the handrail.

Jacob took my hand, pulling me outside. "Bye," I whispered, waving at back at Edward as I was dragged away. He waved back, but for just a moment, just before the door closed behind me, I saw the unmasked pain in his face. Guilt stabbed at me and I closed my eyes, letting a sudden appearance of tears flow down my cheeks.

I bit my lip. I needed to do this, I had to help Jake, I couldn't help that it hurt Edward, I had to do this.

I wiped away the tears before Jake could see them. He grinned widely at me as I jumped in his Rabbit, completely unaware that I had been a second from sobbing. I hated the situation I was putting these two guys in; they were both too good for me.

That didn't mean I didn't want to be with them, it made me want them more in fact, made me feel all too lucky to have them. I didn't thank god nearly as much as I should for what he gave me when he gave me this life. I sent a silent 'thank you' up to him in that moment as Jake pulled out of the driveway.

Jake rolled the windows completely down, to "flush out the smell". His nose was scrunched even as he teased me about how silly I had been. I just tried to ignore it for most of the ride; we were well in La Push when I finally replied.

"I thought maybe it be better, so I wouldn't smell like a 'bloodsucker' or whatever."

"Bella, even leech smells better than you at the moment."

"At least I don't smell like a wet dog," I grumbled under my breath, crossing my arms.

Jacob frowned and suddenly the car lurched to the side, onto the grass beside the beach. He parked the car and jumped out.

"Jake, what are you doing?" I asked, voice wavering in worry as he jogged over to my side, opening my door and undoing my seatbelt.

Up until then he had kept the angry-face expression perfectly, then the edge of his lips turned up in a smirk. It was then I knew I was screwed.

Jacob grabbed my waist, pulling me from the car and throwing me over his shoulder. "Jake!" I screamed, beating at his back. "Put me down! What are you doing! Put me down! JAKE!"

The werewolf laughed, completely ignoring my blows to his back and kicks to his stomach. "You said I smelled, I think you smell, so I think we should have a bath."

My eyes widened and I gasped. "NO! JAKE PUT ME DOWN NOW! JAKE!" I knew he was ignoring me but my mouth was working of its own accord. "JAKE! JACOB BLACK PUT ME DOWN NOW!"

"Can't do that Bella," Jacob sounded like he was enjoying this _far _too much. Then he started running towards the water, laughing as he did.

"Jake, put me down, please?" I was begging now, no longer hitting him.

"Okay," I should have realized what he meant as he said that, not gotten suddenly hopeful. That hope dropped along with my stomach as I found myself in the air, sailing towards the water.

Then I was enveloped in freezing cold water, needles of cold immediately spiking into my flesh. My clothes were immediately soaked, heavy and sinking me to the bottom. My back hit the sandy floor, but not hard, the side-flop slap of my body on the surface of the water had slowed my momentum. I turned under water, feet planting on the floor and pushing my body to the surface, my head broke free of the water and I hasped in a breath.

Then I realized how shallow it was, and stood... and was immediately pulled back under when two very large, very warm hands grabbed my ankles.

I swallowed a mouth full of water as I went under, eyes still open and slightly stinging in the murky water that blurred my view of the grinning smile in front of my face.

I reached out and grabbed the boy in front of me; bring my knee up with as much force as possible – which, being slowed down by the water, wasn't much. Still, I had the satisfaction of seeing the grin wiped from his face and bubbles blow out from his mouth – whether the impact actual did it or he was just shocked about my actions. I smiled myself, and pushed away from Jake to go back to the surface.

It was even colder out of the water; the soft wind froze my exposed face. I coughed up the water I had swallowed, and glared at the boy who had followed me up.

"Bella, that was mean," he complained, rubbing his ribs like I had hurt him.

"And throwing me in the water isn't?"

He grinned, walking towards me. I raised my hands warningly, he caught me by surprise before, this time I was prepared. I felt his body a metre away from me with my gift. I might not be able to do much from a distance, but if he came any closer...

Then Jacob took a deep breath, smiling. "You smell nice now, like sea water."

Somehow the words removed my anger, and I felt my own face pull into a smirk. I took a step forward, pressing my nose against his chest and taking a long, loud, almost gross sounding snort. Then I stepped back, nodding my head. "I may not have the super-sniffing powers, but you don't smell that bad to me, I guess."

Jacob chuckled, pulling me back to him in a hug. I welcomed the act; he was so much warmer than the water around me.

I felt his hand travel from the middle of my back to my neck, and felt a light tug of my hair as he brought a lock of my water-darkened hair around my face to bring it to his nose. He took another audible whiff, and then grinned down at me. "I'm sorry, you're hair still smells." Then he dunked me under the water again.

The next twenty or so minutes consisted of me and Jake dunking each other under the water, all but wrestling in the waves. I was a better swimmer than Jake, but he was stronger, and when we could both touch the bottom my advantage was all but mute.

So I cheated a little, Jake didn't even seem to realize most of the times I used my gift other than the fact that as soon as I did I always gained the upper hand and dunked him. It was good practice actually, and by the end I had a throbbing headache that I accustomed to having used my gift to much (also when I tried to understand something to hard for me, like how dividing two negatives gets you a positive).

So when I finally sighed, laying on my back and floating on the water, Jake seemed to realize I was tired and didn't go for the easy dunk. Instead he stopped by my side, grabbing my hand and pulling me into a standing position. The motion caused a stabbing pain to my head, and I had a childish moment of simply leaning as far as I could with Jake holding me. "Can't I sleep for just a little bit?" I whined.

Jacob wrapped an arm around my waist to support me, and I flopped onto his warm side, pretending to snore.

"You can sleep later. It's getting dark, and the guys are probably already angry at me for not helping them set up, and they've probably bought all the food already - none of them ever buy salt and vinegar chips."

I made a fake sad face, cooing, "Aw, poor did-ums." Then I giggled and punched his arm.

Jake glared at me, than I felt a sharp twinge on my right butt cheek and gasped, jumping back. "Jacob," I gasped again, outraged.

He shrugged, "You deserved it."

I narrowed my eyes, suddenly wanting to dunk him again, but I knew we had to go soon. It was getting dark, and I didn't want to be fighting in the dark where he had the advantage with his wolf-vision.

"I'll get you back some time Jacob, and you'll never know when."

"I look forward to it," Jake wiggled his eyebrows and I glared again.

I grumbled all the way to the car. It was cold and I was covered in freezing, salty water. My feet dragged from my heavy soaked jeans and I could barely cross my arms from how much my coat had expanded. Jake didn't have to worry; he only wore a thin T-shirt and cut offs, and was probably hot enough that they would dry in a few minutes.

Sand clung to the bottom of my jeans and shoes, I considered not wiping them on the grass and sanding up his car, then I grumbled more and wiped as much as I could off, having to hold onto the waist of my jeans as the motion, plus the added weight of them and the fact I had lost weight made my pants try to shimmy down my butt.

I kept my stream of muttering even in the car, and as Jake jumped in and started the engine. As he drove the sudden gust of wind streaming through the windows made me shiver and force my sodden sleeves to fold so I could rub my biceps. I could almost feel the goose bumps though the drenched fabric.

"Don't stop, I was learning," Jake said, referring to my ceasing of the quiet string of swearing. Then Jacob looked at me from the motion, frowning. "If you're cold it's 108 degrees over here."

At first I frowned and crossed my arms tighter, stubbornly thinking of refusing the offer, still annoyed at Jacob for getting me in this position and what he did other. Then I rolled my eyes at myself and my childishness, sliding over to the warm boy behind the wheel.

He draped a free, long, thickly muscled arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him so I leaned on his chest. I didn't pull back, I should have, I shouldn't be letting him keep up this attachment, this constantly trying to turn our friendship into something more (or more than it already was). The truth was, though, that it felt really nice being next to him, like sitting by a fire in winter, or drinking hot chocolate when you've just come inside after a storm. So I let him hold me, and revelled in the warm, soft feeling of Jake – so different to the cold, hard feeling of Edward's chest, though both were just as defined ( god, I couldn't think about that with Jacob).

The bonfire had already almost been fully set up when we arrived, people walking around. Paul had one massive log over his shoulder; it seemed he had carried it from the woods. He dropped it, filling a large circle of similar sized logs that surrounded a carefully constructed pile of sticks arranged in a cone.

Jarred was positing a thick log on the outside of this cone, his eyes flickering from his work to the girl beside him.

Kim was... not ugly, but at first glance I wasn't struck by her beauty. The first thing I actually noticed about her was that she was short, not tiny, but short enough that next to the towering werewolf she looked small and, couples with her thin frame, made her look almost breakable.

From this distance I couldn't make out much more about her features, and didn't have time to scrutinize her, not without looking like a creep anyway, because the whole group of people – the pack, elders, and a few others I guessed were imprints – turned to us.

"Jake, what the hell did you do to that girl? She looks like a drowned cat!"

"Thanks Paul," I called back, smiling as fake as could be. The werewolf mentioned noticed, and instead of being decent and at least looking slightly sorry for the words, laughed at me. I huffed and crossed my arms, causing more laughter.

Quil muttered something into Embry's ear, who laughed in response. The boys were sitting on the logs around the yet un-lit bonfire. Whatever he said made Jake throw a rock at him, which he caught deftly, hands moving just past humanly possible speed. "Hey, that was uncalled for."

"And _that _wasn't?" Jake said, referring to the whisper. I frowned, wondering what had been said. Quil's eyebrow wiggle made me wonder if I really wanted to know, and the way Sam was shaking his head at the boys.

The alpha in question then sat onto the wooden log beside the elders, his imprint soon joining him. With that we all made ourselves comfortable, and someone broke out about 20 family sized packs of chips and seven soft drink bottles.

The next few hours consisted of me refusing every scrap of oily, greasy food someone offered my way and sipping on the glass of water Emily had brought along to replace the 'sugar filled drinks that are NOT good for my thighs'. I was happy for it, aware of the calories in each item. It was also filled with many jokes, funny stories, laughter and memory sharing in which my attention was pulled from the boys were seemed to be trying to eat anything in their reach and towards being able to better understand the pack.

No one asked me too much about my recent life, no one wanted to hear about me and the 'leeches'. Paul told me to move downwind after a few minutes, so he 'didn't have to inflict the stench of bloodsuckers on his nostrils'. Jacob had whispered in my ear he was just trying to push my buttons, and that I smelt only mildly of my deodorant and mostly of fish and seaweed. Of course I thanked him profusely for that statement and accepted a handful of chips to throw at him. I got chastised for wasting perfectly good Doritos.

I got the idea of who I wanted included in my plan to hunt Victoria that night. I knew I had to some way involve Sam or else none of the others may be able to help me. Sam should be able to keep a secret fairly well anyway, he was calm and also very unlikely to cross paths with Edward – as one of the strongest of the pack he protected La Push more often than Forks.

I didn't trust Paul, not just because of how much I knew he hated vampires (he'd never work well with any of the Cullens) but because of his temper. He wouldn't be able to keep a secret; he'd blurt it when he was mad or when he was trying to tick someone else off. I doubted even if Jake's sister came back that he would calm down enough to lose these attributes.

If I involved Quil I'd have to involve Embry, and vice versa, the two were quite obviously best friends and wouldn't keep anything from each other without making the other suspicious. I also knew as soon as they did they would share everything with Jacob, who was also their best friend, and having Jacob know _everything_ may also not be the best idea. I wanted each to know as little as possible in case they were compromised.

Colin and Brady, well, I didn't know them, and I didn't think they were... old enough... to keep a secret. Young people, particularly boys I had noticed, don't keep secrets very well.

I was undecided with Jared. I liked him, I did, but lately – ever since he had imprinted – Jared hadn't said a word to me. I knew he was completely loyal to Sam – he was his best friend - so I wouldn't approach him before I approached the alpha.

Truthfully, the one in the pack I trusted most – besides Jake – was actually little Seth Clearwater. Well, he wasn't really _that _little anymore, he was about the same height as me, something that I didn't really like to admit – I was subconsciously and irrationally proud of my height.

I had talked with Seth that night almost as much as I had with Jacob. Seth was really nice, like insanely nice, and cute in a kind of puppy-dog way (which was funny, because he was a puppy in a way). I could tell he looked up to Jake, and not because Jacob was insanely tall either. Jacob was Seth's role model, I even noticed that Seth – consciously or not – was sitting like Jacob, same leg position and slightly hunched (did wolves get back problems?). He almost talked the same way, adopting some of Jacob's phrases; e.g. sure, sure. Seth seemed to even listen to Jake more than Sam, seemed more loyal to my friend than his actual alpha, preferring our conversation than those of Sam.

I knew I could trust Seth then, and knew he could keep secrets and control his mind from memories (now almost quite distant memories) of reading Breaking Dawn. Once I knew Alice was in for the plan, I would approach Seth.

I didn't believe I needed to include the elders either. Harry was sitting with his wife, who was happily smiling by her husband and refusing most of the fatty foods for him. All he had eaten had been one hot dog and the salad that had occupied the now empty Tupperware container at his feet. Harry himself looked thinner, almost younger, and a lot healthier. I grinned at that fact whenever I looked at him; he was one of the first I had used my gift on, and certainly the most successful use in my mind. I had saved his life when he was having a heart attack. Sue looked at me thankful whenever she saw me watching them, as if she knew what would have happened if I hadn't saved him. The only one who seemed to have lost out on this was Charlie, who I'd always thought had ended up with Sue after her husband died.

I sighed, poor Charlie, I wished I could find him someone. I added him to my long mental list of things to do, right under 'get Jake an imprint/girlfriend'.

Leah I knew I couldn't include. The only girl member of the pack was silent the whole evening, watching the flames of the burning drift and forest wood. Leah was beautiful; I was vain enough to think I was prettier so I didn't mind admitting that. She also looked quite toned and muscled for a girl. Of any of the people in La Push and Forks I thought she was the person I looked most similar to. She was tall, 5'10, just an inch or so shorter than me, and muscled with darker skin – hers silky russet, mine smooth olive. Her hair was shining and beautiful if short, it brushed her face in the soft wind, and her eye lashes were long and dark, like feathers. Her face was studiously blank the whole time, only her eyes gave the slightest hint of her emotions – they grew glassy whenever Sam spoke.

That decided me for it; I had to include Sam so I couldn't include Leah. It was hard enough for her to be in the same pack as the man who broke her heart; I wouldn't be able to rely on her to work with her own pack members, let alone any vampires. She also hated me, for hurting Jae or for associating with those she hated so much I didn't know, but she would never listen to me. I was slightly intimidated of her; she seemed the likeliest to attack me.

I liked her even if she hated me, and she too was on my mental list of things to do – 'find a way to make Leah happy'. I didn't think Jake would ever be with Leah, even if I thought it was a good idea, he wouldn't give up until I was a vampire.

That train of thought led me to an even darker one. While the wolves and their companions joked and laughed I wondered who would be the first to try and attack me, who might be killed by the vampire coven protecting me – the youngest wolves, the biggest threats, or the two with the highest tempers (Leah and Paul)? I wouldn't have a Renesmee to make sure the pack wouldn't kill me.

I shivered at the thought of the deaths; Jake tightened his hold around my shoulders, pulling me closer so I was almost sitting on his lap. I was glad I could hide my emotions well, inside I felt like I was about to cry, outside I just looked cold.

"We can move closer to the fire if you'd like," Jacob whispered.

I shook my head; it wasn't cold when I was near Jacob. My clothes had dried with his combined heat and the fire, only the wind made goose bumps on my arms now. I stood and moved onto his lap, his arms wrapped around me. "You're warm enough for me, like an electric blanket."

I could feel Jacob's grin as I rested my head against the side of his cheek, his arms tightened even more around me, and I closed my eyes. He shook me slightly as I did. "Don't go to sleep yet. The best part is coming up."

I smiled, looking back up into his dark eyes. "What's the best part, you swallowing an entire cow?" I had to use that line; I always seemed to remember the funniest lines Bella had said.

Jacob chuckled at that, warm breath tickling my ear. "No, that's the finale. We didn't just meet to eat through an entire week's worth of food. This is technically a council meeting. It's Quil's first time, and he hasn't heard the stories yet. Well, he's _heard _them, but this will be the first time he knows they're true. That tends to make a guy pay closer attention. Kim, Seth and Leah are all first timers too."

"Stories, you mean like you told me on the beach?" That seemed so long ago now, almost as long ago as my other lifetime.

"Yes, the histories we always thought were legends," he whispered even lower, deeper. "The stories of how we came to be. The first is the story of the spirit warriors."

And with those words everyone quietened, straightened. Emily brought out a notepad and pen, looking eagerly at Jacob's father who had stood at his son's words. I wondered why she was going to write the legends - for a book maybe?

I too found myself sitting straighter, even leant against Jacob's back. I actually leaned forward a little, Jake followed like he was the back of my chair, and chair who just so happened to be holding why waist with amazingly warm arms. He shifted under me, making himself comfortable, and soon after Billy spoke.

He really did have majesty in his voice; a deep, wonderful fullness to it, he painted the scene in my head even better than movie. I felt like I was there, a disembodied watcher observing the events as they unfolded, all that was around me seemed to disappear as I heard of the tale of Taha Aki - the first shape-shifting wolf.

Then old Quil told his story, and found myself once again submerged in the story, seeing the wolves fighting the vampires, watching the third wife's sacrifice.

As old Quil's story came to a close and I once again came back to the present I became aware of the faces watching me, watching my reaction. All the wolves and people who had heard the legends before were watching me, watching my reaction to the gruesome portrayal of the 'cold ones'. I wanted to shift in my seat, but was also aware Jacob was watching me, watching my face and body language for a response. I wouldn't show him I was uncomfortable with the motion, plus I had settled into the crevices of his lap, quite comfortable in my position.

"And so the sons of our tribe again carry the burden and share the sacrifice their father's endured before them," old Quil ended. I felt relief when many of the pack members looked around the circle, and several eyes left me.

I felt a few pairs still burning on me though, those of the elders, and of the boy on who a rested, burning into the side of my head.

The younger Quil then decided to scoff and share his thoughts. "Burden, I think it's cool."

Seth, across the fire, nodded vigorously with this comment. Jacob sighed quietly, just barely loud enough for me to hear, and his mouth was at my ear so it was _very _quiet.

The night didn't last much longer. Kim had fallen asleep already, and many of the others seemed close to that, yawns were infectious around the circle. I too yawned as I helped extinguish the already diminished fire, pouring sand over the small tongues that flicked from the red coals. Jake never did swallow a cow; my tired mind was sillily disappointed about that.

Then Jake wrapped his arm around my waist and led me to his car. I leaned against him, after all he was so much stronger than me he could probably juggle me if he wanted.

"You're this tired? What happened to the Bella I used to take out and find just as hyper back in my car at 3 or 4 in the morning?"

I grinned tiredly, looking up at him through squinting eyes. "She grew old and weak; I haven't even had a nanny nap today."

He chuckled, shoulder vibrating the cheek I rested in it as he chuckled. I was glad he still didn't know what I did then, I hoped he would never find out; he'd never think of me the same way again. As far as I knew only Alice knew about what I had done, and I intended to keep it that way until I died, whether that be in a few decades or a few millennium, and maybe even after.

"I can't imagine how it's like to be as used as you," Jacob teased, scrunching up his nose.

"Finally dropped the 'I am technically 36 or whatever' thing then?"

Jake's grin dropped, then became even wider than before, "No, but still you're like – what – 40 now?"

"Something like that," I whispered, closing my eyes again.

Jake laughed as I yawned (again!) and lifted me into the passenger's seat. I barely kept my eyes open for the ride home; listening to Jake's music was making me more tired.

He nudged me out of my half-awake-half-asleep state as we arrived back out my house. I blinked a lot as I walked (stumbled actually) around the Rabbit and to the porch. Jacob supported me all the way, unsure whether I could keep my balance. Honestly, I was unsure too, I guess that swimming and pulling my clothed-heavy-limbs through the water tired me out. Or maybe it was the fact I hadn't been sleeping well lately - stress from the Victoria situation.

So I wasn't in the most sharp state of mind when Jacob farewelled me at the door. The lights were on, so Jake must have guessed Charlie was still up and rang the doorbell so he could transfer the tired girl to her father's arms.

"See you Bella, sleep tight. Don't worry about anything; I'll be watching you tonight."

"Jake, no, you need to get some sleep!" I tried to order him, stepping back and pointing at him, but the command was ruined by my wavering tone and the fact that since I was swaying my finger kept moving from pointing to him to either side of him.

"Sure, sure," he said, grinning at me display. "Jeez Bella, it's like you're drunk. _You're _the one that needs sleep."

"I'm not tired," I said stubbornly, then yelped as a sudden loss of balance sent me falling to the side.

Then Jake was holding me, keeping me from falling. I was struck how sweet he was, how nice he stayed even though I was hurting him every second I was with Edward. I wanted to show him how thankful I was that he was there, how much I appreciated him.

And I hugged him tightly squeezing with all my might, arms almost cramping with the force. I kissed his cheek, and then trailed my lips to his ear, whispering fiercely. "You have no idea how much you mean to me, Jacob."

He stiffened, and then tightened his arms around me, pulling me back to a standing position. "I think I can guess," his voice sounded as sad as he said the words that I actually started to cry.

"I'm so sorry Jake, for everything," I blubbered.

Then Charlie opened the door. "Bella, you're b... am I interrupting something?"

"No chief, I was just saying goodbye," I felt déjà vu as he said that, thinking of yesterday. "Good bye Bella."

"Goodbye Jake," I whispered sadly, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Are you okay?" Charlie said as I watched Jake drive away, waving at the back lights.

"I'm fine, just tired," I explained, a large yawn emphasizing my statement.

"Get to bed honey." Then Charlie sniffed, frowning. "Why do you smell like seawater?"

I grinned, "I'll have a shower."

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><p><strong>I have another bribe for you guys - or treat, whatever. Anyway, this chappie has a Edward POV for and a Jacob POV. But for the moment I'm only offering the Edward POV. I'll save the Jacob one for the next chapter.<strong>

**So guys, review for your chance to see in Edward's head - warning though, it might be a little OC from the books. Edward changed I think when Alexis came instead of Bella, so he is a little different.**

**Okay, enough blabbering from me. Review guys for your treat!**


	15. Retribution

**Hey guys. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! So, in honour of my hapiness, I'm updating early. If you didn't get a chance to review last chapter and get your Edward POV, don't worry, even if I finish this story I will still PM you the POV if you review that chapter.**

**Okay, I'll tell you about the Jacob POV at the bottom.**

**So read on in honour of birthday cake and party streamers!**

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><p>14. Retribution<p>

I was nervous, anxious, and a little annoyed. Why? Because I was waiting, and I could feel each second ticking by, each grain of sand was trickling between my fingers. I needed to act while I still had time in my clutches.

I had read the paper this morning, and it had contained news I really shouldn't have heard – news about Seattle. It had made me far too jittery, too – not eager – but needing to get my plan under way. I needed to work, I felt the numbers now pounding in my head and giving me a massive headache.

The newspaper reported six dead, all burnt to a crisp. I knew that didn't seem much, but I also knew there were probably more gone, the homeless, the ones that were unnoticed, the ones no one knew were there before they were taken. It was my fault too, and that was why the guilt was frying my brain to a migraine.

Edward seemed worried about me, about the headaches and how grouchy I was becoming, how my shoulders sagged and how sometimes I stopped whatever I was doing to lose my train of thought and zone out. He even got Carlisle to check me, scan my brain for cancer or something. I had obliged, and when I came out with a clean bill of health (except for minor sleep deprivation) I joked that Edward was overreacting, forcing myself to smile through the pain.

Since Edward was getting all over protective he hadn't left me alone – away from La Push that is – for almost a week. I needed to talk to Alice, alone.

I was at school, feeling like I was about to break from the noise banging about in my ears, causing my migraine to throb even harder. The teacher was banging on about something that I tried to listen to, I really did try, but everything he said went through one ear and out the other. I frowned harder and rubbed my temples, forcing myself to listen and hear his words. It was Mr McClain; one of the teachers who hated me the most.

Then he turned to me, glaring. "Swan, detention, you haven't been listening all class."

"Yes I have, sir," I forced my voice calm, but I was still frowning.

"What did I just say then?"

"You were explaining how the Aztecs used obsidian because it fractures smoothly and is so hard."

Mr McClain only had a moment of shock, before hiding it from the class. "Still, you were not listening before that, and double detention for speaking back."

It was then that something snapped in me, and all my anger, annoyance, and all the other negative emotions seemed to rise to the surface. My heart beat faster and my muscles tensed. My anger was like a fire in my veins, pulsing and heated, fuelling my muscles and my outrage.

"No," I growled, quietly, almost hissing, and glared at the teacher whose face turned outraged at my words.

"No?" he asked voice half surprised half angered.

"No," I confirmed, voice louder. I was aware that all the students were watching me now, wondering what I was doing. I normally took whatever crap the teacher's wanted to push on me, but not today.

"Excuse me? Who do you think you are?" Mr McClain approached me, walking to try and loom over my sitting form.

"Who do I think I am?" I stood, using my height to look him eye to eye. "Who do I think I am? I think I'm the student who has been unfairly treated at this school. I think I'm the student who tries does just the same as everyone else and gets punished for it. I think I am the student who has been unjustly inflicted with penalties for what I did in the past. I think I'm the student who has had her marks, grades, and time all been taken away for something that I can't change – for some petty grudge all the staff still hold on what I have done. I think I'm the student who has done all she can to do well, try hard, be better than she was previously to find all the staffing body acting towards her like she just smashed their car. I think I'm the student who has had her rights taken away. I THINK I'M THE STUDENT WHO DESERVES BETTER THAN THE FUCKING CRAP I RECIEVE FROM THE SUPPOSEDLY MATURE ADULTS WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING ME. YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE LEARNT FROM THIS SCHOOL? TRY YOUR BEST AND BE PUNISHED, DO WELL AND BE PISSED ON BY THOSE HIGHER UP THE LADDER THAN YOU! WELL I'M SICK OF IT, SO WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THAT STUPID DETENTION BOOK OF YOURS, STICK IT UP YOU'RE ASS AND GET OUT OF MY FUCKING FACE?"

Mr McClain was turning purple by that stage, already passed red. My gift had come to the surface halfway through my speech, and could feel his blustering heart race, sending heated blood through his fat, pudgy body. He wrapped one of his pudgy, sweaty hands around my arm, squeezing to the point of pain. "MISS SWAN, PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE NOW!"

I looked down at his hand disdainfully, and looked back up to his eyes, glaring. "I don't think you want to do that," I whispered, the threat plain in my voice. I was surprised Edward hadn't stepped in already, him being so overly protective.

"Oh really," Mr McClain tightened his hold, smiling sadistically. I felt Edward tense even more, he had been tense my whole outbreak, seeming a moment from tackling me to the ground and running me out of the classroom. He growled and I put a hand on his shoulder as he started to rise.

I zapped his hand with my gift, feigning an electric shock. He gasped and pulled his hand back; holding it between his other as if I'd stabbed him. An unvoiced swearword painted his thin and chapped lips, his eyes glared at me out of his great, fat, red and sweaty face.

"I don't think Chief Swan will be very happy to hear that you harassed his daughter. Oh boy I hope this will bruise." I spoke loud enough for the whole class to hear, then grabbed my stuff from my desk, pulled Edward up, and walked out, voicing, "C'mon Edward, I need someone to vouch for me at Mr Greene's office."

Once outside the classroom Edward took my hand, spinning me around and pushing me against a wall.

"Edward, this really isn't the place for..." I started, grinning and teasing.

Edward was completely serious, cutting me off before I could even finish my joke. "Bella, what the heck was that? Do you want to get expelled?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Maybe I do, it would mean I wouldn't have to wait until graduation," there was still a lot of anger coursing through my veins, and I unfortunately let some out on Edward, my voice like acid on the already touchy subject for him.

He cringed. "Bella, don't say things like that."

"What? That I hate school right now? That all the teachers are fucking spiteful and are determined to make my life hell? That I'm already stressed enough to go bald that I wouldn't mind taking the weight of curriculum off my shoulders?"

"Bella," Edward said, eyes softening. "I know it's been hard lately, but can you please try to calm down before you do something you'll regret? Look what you did to Mr McClain, we don't know the extent of your abilities and I'm sure you won't want a life on your conscience."

"I already have a few," I whispered sadly, looking down. I had all those who died in Seattle on my conscience, pounding at my skull this very moment.

"What was that?" Edward said, shocked.

"Nothing," I snapped, "let's just go to Mr Greene's office."

"Bella..." Edward said softly, taking my hand in his and looking at me through his lashes, trying to dazzle me into explaining my mutter.

"Wait, I should call Charlie. I want him here for this. I'm tired of this grudge the teacher's are holding, I want them to stop, I won't survive until graduation."

Edward nodded, letting it go, he knew I'd tell him when I was ready, and he rarely pushed too hard for information. "Okay."

Charlie seemed very surprised I'd called, then angry at me when I told him that he had to come to the Principal's office. He had asked me, 'What have you done now', to which I replied that I was standing up for myself. He muttered something about his girl getting into fights, and didn't give me the chance to deny it when he said, "I'll be there in a few minutes, don't punch anybody until I arrive."

"I'll try not to." The idea did sound appealing, and Mr Greene did annoy me. Edward shook his head at me, guessing my thoughts, he looked disappointed. I sighed. "See you Dad," but he had already hung up.

I walked slowly, grudgingly, to Mr Greene's office. I didn't want to sit there without Charlie too long -I might get angry and be unable to convince Charlie when he arrived.

Still I arrived at the Principal's office before Charlie. The bell for lunch rang just as I took a seat. I sighed; I'd almost had a free lunch.

"Miss Swan, I'm very disappointed in your behaviour. What do you have to say for yourself?" Mr Greene didn't even put any emotion into the monotone procedure, he didn't care what I had to say - he wanted only to punish me. He didn't even look at me as he said it, still rifling through his papers. He hadn't even noticed the fact Edward had come in with me, something he used to insist never happen.

"I refuse to speak until my father arrives," I answered.

Then Mr Greene did look up, and gulped, a sweat broke out on his forehead as he tried to hide his emotions. "Chief Swan is coming?" he managed to keep his voice relatively level, only peaking at the end. He knew what I had gotten in trouble for this time, and probably guessed what I was going to try and prove now.

"Yes, he should be here soon," I smiled. Charlie and Mr Greene were not the best of friends. They didn't dislike each other, but Charlie had no reason to treat him any kinder than he would anyone else, especially not if he was doing wrong to his daughter. Charlie would realize I wasn't lying anymore. I'd already gotten him suspicious of the teachers when I stole (Charlie didn't need to know we didn't actually get to keep the test) Edward, Angela and I's test papers for Biology. I had almost all the same answers as Edward who scored perfectly as Angela did too, yet I had been marked wrong for half of my correct answers.

"I guess we shall just wait then." His eyes found Edward, then rolled, even he knew Edward went everywhere with me. "You can stay, young man. I have no problem with _you_." He said it so I knew exactly who he had a problem with.

I crossed my arms and leaned back in the chair, closing my eyes and waiting, making the most of the quiet of the principal's office. The sounds outside were muffled but I could hear that there were a lot of people outside the room. Were the students waiting outside looking for a show? Then again, I couldn't be too annoyed at them, I knew I would do the exact same thing in their position, as far as I knew no one had caused such a scene as I just had, by now everyone in the school, and some in the town to boot, would know of my outburst.

Because of the sound outside I didn't know Charlie was here until he was knocking at the door. I turned to see his general outline through the blinds covering the window in the door.

"Come in," Mr Greene called. He had calmed his voice, but he was still sweating, dabbing a napkin to his forehead.

"Bella," Charlie managed to sound like he was berating her for everything in that one word. Then he looked to Mr Greene, immediately taking the principal's side. "I'm sorry for my daughter's behaviour, but what exactly is it that she has done?"

Mr Greene started to say something when I coughed. He stopped to frown at me, and I jumped in quickly before he started. "Charlie, he wasn't there," I was about to add _he'll probably twist the situation_ when Edward interrupted me.

"I was though, Chief, I can explain."

Charlie frowned at my boyfriend, but would show no impoliteness in front of other people. "Okay boy, tell me."

Edward basically explained what had happened, that the teacher had wrongly accused me of not listening, and tried to give me two detentions for explaining I had been. Then he explained that I had been having bad headaches and stress and that I 'overreacted due to these circumstances and vented her anger and annoyance at Mr McClain'.

I glared at him as he spoke those words, like my anger was unjustified. "That's not completely true," I said, turning so I could address my father and the principal. "I believe I have been unjustly treated in this school, that my grades have been compromised by the feelings of the teaching body."

"What are you accusing us of?" Mr Greene asked at the same time as Charlie groaned, "Not this again."

"Charlie, why are you so intent on believing I am lying to you? What has made me so untrustworthy to you? I'll show you I'm right, Mr Greene, where is my portfolio?" I knew the school kept a folder of each students completed assignments and tests.

Then a sound I would say similar to a thunderstorm sounded at the door, as what seemed like a hundred fists pounded at the walls and closed entrance to the office. With no further introduction students poured into the office, at the head of the congregation was my favourite pixie in the world holding two thick folders in her hands.

Jessica and Lauren were fighting for positions beside my best friend, Mike and Tyler looking irritated as they tried to stand with their corresponding girlfriends. Angela's eyes swept the room and warmed with her smile as she found me, Ben was standing beside her, hand in her hand, trying to stop the crowd from buffering her. I also noticed Eric, Jenifer, Conner, Austin, Katie, Lee, Rob, Samantha... yes; I had picked up on many of the names of the students here, even some of the ones in younger grades. It was hard not to in such a small town.

I wondered what they were all doing, and why they were all following Alice. I knew she would be doing something to help me, I trusted that she wouldn't have butted in if she had not. It had to have something to do with the fact that they were all seniors.

"Sir, Bella is right! It's not just me who believes it either, all the senior class thinks she has been picked on as well." There was a chorus of agreement from said seniors. "I have her work folder and the curriculum folder with all the answers. See Chief Swan, look at it yourself! Bella hasn't been awarded the marks she deserved!"

I loved Alice at that moment. She winked at me in response as she handed the folders to Charlie, who immediately started rifling through them, his brow furrowing with each comparison of the pages. His face started to turn red, and this time his anger wasn't directed at me, he directed it at the headmaster in front of him who was sinking into his chair with every minute.

I stood happily and moved to Alice's side, watching my father's reaction and taking happiness in the fear I could all but smell wafting from Mr Greene. He may not have instigated the move against me, but he sure as hell didn't stop it.

Alice looped her arm around me waist, smiling up at me, pleased with herself. "I might not see everything these days, but at least I saw this," she whispered into my ear.

Edward then joined his sister and me, draping his arm over my shoulders. "Hey, I decided that you should do it, don't I get any credit?"

Alice poked her tongue out at him; he chuckled in his velvety voice. I sighed and leaned against his chest, trying to ignore my headache at the noise all the students behind me were making, and enjoying the way my principal shrunk under the glare of my father's gaze who had just realized I had _never _over exaggerated on the teacher's dealing with me.

"Harold, would you care to explain what I am seeing in these files?" Charlie's voice had adopted that dangerously calm tone, the one he used when he was about to explode. The students behind me quietened to listen, eager to see their principal squashed like an annoying mosquito.

"I... um..." Mr Greene squirmed.

"You mean you knew about this and didn't do anything about it? All those times I thought she was just being a teenager trying to take the blame on the teachers and I defended you. What exactly were you aiming to achieve by this, may I ask? Why were you doing this?" Charlie had adopted his police tone, not yelling but definitely very serious and intimidating.

Mr Greene was pretty pale now, and his eyes flicked from his audience to the man in front of him who was now standing, looming over the sitting man. "It was not my idea; I do not know who started it. It's just that your daughter was very rude in the past."

"Yes, in the past, has she not changed? Even if she is disruptive or ignores you that doesn't mean you should not award her the marks she has earned! You and your staff may have sabotaged my daughter's chances of getting into a good college! You may have ruined her life even? What are you going to do about that?"

Mr Greene swallowed loudly, wiping the sweat that was dripping from his face and staining his long-sleeved shirt. "I'll set about changing her marks immediately, and I'll spread the word that any staff that does not award the correct grades will... will..." Mr Greene came up short, trying to think of a good punishment that _wasn't _illegal.

"They will have to deal with me," Charlie finished. Then he waited a few seconds, watching the man squirm. "Well man? Hop to it! Get your staff and inform them, they have over a year's worth of assignments and tests to remark."

The was the squeal of Mr Greene's chair against the linoleum floor as he hurried stood and all but ran out of his office, pushing children out of his way. I laughed when he was out of earshot.

"Bells?" called Charlie quietly, I almost didn't hear it above the crowd who had started chatting again, laughing at their principal's reaction.

Edward let go of my shoulders and Alice my waist, the little pixie pushed me towards my father, nodding encouragingly. If Alice was nodding then whatever he said had to be okay, she wouldn't want me to be yelled at and would see if Charlie decided to rage on me.

"Dad," I smiled just as softly as his voice, stepping forward. I didn't think he was about to rage on me, he actually looked proud and ... apologetic?

"Bells, I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I thought..."

"I know Dad," I smiled, feeling my eyes warm/sting and tears roll down my cheeks. "Thank you for coming, you ... I ... nothing would have changed if you hadn't come."

Charlie grinned, opening his arms. Charlie was much more open with his feelings since I had come; he only seemed slightly uncomfortable when I hugged him in front of most of the senior class. Some of them 'awed' at the sight, the others were just trying to shuffle out through the narrow doorway.

"I don't think I've missed anything at work. I've been spending far too much time there, if I had been home I would have known this was happening – or maybe believed it – earlier. I'm sorry kiddo, and I promise to take more care of you."

I grinned up at my father, rubbing my cheek on his shoulder. "You take care of _me _fine; it's you I'm worried about." I laughed, jabbing my finger intro his chest. "I do want a father for at least four more decades." Even if I could only call him, I still wanted to know he was alive, happy and healthy.

Charlie released me, feigning injury at the poke. Then he turned more sombre. "I'll take better care of myself too."

"Good"

"Good," he repeated my words, grinning – he looked so much younger when he grinned like that, and it was infectious. He hadn't grinned like that for a while, and never when Edward was in the immediate vicinity.

Charlie had to leave soon after, and I spent the rest of the school day happy, headache all but forgotten, numbed by my happiness at my father's show of caring, and the way the teachers looked almost fearfully at me in the back.

I listened the most in a class that day than I had in what felt like years.

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><p><strong>OK guys, I made a Jacob's POV for 13. Bonfire, and if you review this chapter you can get it. <strong>

**So, how'd you like Bella standing up to the teachers? Is Charlie at fault or is just the staff of Forks high? Do you want to throw eggs at any of the teachers?**

**Review and tell me! Each review is like one of my favourite birthday presents (I also got Vampire's Suck the movie - it's hilarious!)**

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	16. Spike

**Kay guys, I just want to update because I do. Thanks for all the birthday well-wishes, they warmed me all the way down to my toes (and as it's approaching winter I needed that warmth)**

**So, no treats this chappie, sorry, but it is nice and long.**

**Read on!**

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><p>15. Spike<p>

Jessica was holding a party that Friday in honour of my 'kick-ass teacher whooping' as she so formerly put.

At first I was in two minds about the party, my head had been hurting for the past few weeks, and I didn't know if mixing in loud music and shouting to the mix.

But then I thought about the positives – spending more time with my human friends, letting loose for a couple of hours, maybe even getting to numb the pain a little with alcohol. I didn't plan on getting drunk; I have had _that _human experience before and wasn't looking forward to repeating the occurrence. This head-ache, plus hang over headache might split my skull in half.

The more I thought about the party the better it seemed to become in my mind. I could invite the wolves, try and better acquaintance them with the Cullens, and the best part that seemed to appear in my mind was the alone time I could have with Alice.

I arranged (more like bullied) Edward to go away while me and Alice got ready for the party. Alice had bought near on twenty dresses in my size months before – so I would have back-ups for emergencies as she had explained. I had argued to Edward that I wanted to surprise him with what I looked like, and I didn't want him close enough to peak through Alice's thoughts.

Jasper and Emmett had responded to my appeal, eagerly planning what they'd do that evening before I'd even turned around. That was boys for you.

I would tell Alice while Edward was away, and explain the details of my plan – I hadn't come up with much, but it was enough for my future seeing friend to know what I intended to do and exactly why Edward could NOT know.

I did tell Edward I planned on inviting the werewolves (Jessica had asked me to invite any other blocky guys from La Push, winking a wiggling her eyebrows despite the fact her and Mike were still going out). He didn't seem overly excited by the fact, but didn't object, he knew I'd invite them anyway. I just hoped they wouldn't cause a fight where there were breakable humans about.

At that moment Edward was walking me to the parking lot. Jasper and Emmett were waiting by the jeep, grinning widely as they saw Edward. Their smiles looked mischievous, and mildly dangerous. Edward squeezed my hand, looking down at me with eyes mock-worried. "If I don't come back don't let them take my room," he gestured to the guys in front of him.

I giggled, "I promise."

Edward's goodbye kiss left me breathless and my shirt riding up at my back. I shoved it down while smoothing my hair, then waved at the jeep speeding away.

A small arm looped around my waist. "You're finally free!" I frowned down at her in response. "Oh c'mon, you don't honestly believe I couldn't see what you were feeling. You've all but been banging a mug against your invisible bars."

I smiled, "Am I that obvious?"

"No," she suddenly turned sombre, "you are NEVER that obvious. I know how well you keep secrets, so you must be super worried about something to show everything this easily."

I sighed, putting a hand to my throbbing temples. "I'll explain at my house, you'll understand why I'm a little... stressed."

At home I all but ran up the stairs, slamming the door shut behind Alice as she joined me, carrying the pile of dresses she had packed in the boot of her car. She dropped the clothing on my bed, putting her hands on her waist and staring determinedly at me. "So, what is this all about?" she waved at me.

"Um..." I started quietly; I hadn't decided how I would say this to Alice. "You know how um, in the book Eclipse, Victoria..."

Alice gasped, putting a hand to her mouth. "I almost forgot! Is she making the newborn army already? Should I tell..." she started ranting before I ran at her, shoving my hand over her mouth.

"Sh, some of the wolves might be out there!" I gestured out the window. She clapped her hands over her mouth, looking up apologetically.

"Just listen, please," she nodded so I continued. "I'm going to track down Victoria." She started shaking her head but I held up my hand, pausing her motion. "I just thought I would let you know, but if you won't join me I'm still doing it, Jake's already agreed, and I know many of the pack will follow."

"But Bella, that's really dangerous."

"I know - which is why we can't let Edward know."

"I haven't said yes yet."

"Oh," I paused, crossing my arms. "Aren't you?"

"I didn't say that," Alice said quietly, defeated.

"Good," I smiled, relieved. "I really could use the help." Then I dropped beside her onto the bed, closing my eyes, it helped with the throbbing.

"So, what's the plan?" Alice asked.

I told her what I had thought have already, she nodded with each thought, silent as she let me explain. It almost looked like she was making a mental list, scribing it into her infallible memory. At the end she even added a few more ideas that seemed so great, laying a path for my other more insane ideas, and fortifying the plan. **(You know the author is hiding something from you when they're this vague – don't worry, you'll know soon enough, just keeping the suspense here)**

I could feel myself grow more eager than worried about the plan, the guilt in my mind lessening in response to the fact soon I would be avenging those that died.

Alice started to work her magic on me then, stopping my objections that we needed to keep working on the plan. "Bella, we'll have time later, and if Edward comes back to find I haven't done barely anything with you he'll be suspicious."

Those words shut me up, and I let her dress me in about seven of her outfits, barely registering what colour the fabric was, much less the design. Alice muttered to herself about the things, holding accessories up and pinching areas of the fabric that were too loose.

I was thinking of the plan, and who I would approach next. Truthfully, I only had one choice next, and it was one I was _very _worried about – Emmett. I knew he would be one of the first to volunteer and find Victoria, but I doubted my authority over him. Would he listen to my plan or do what he wanted? Jake almost never denied me, and being Beta the pack would listen to him and therefore me. Alice was my best friend, she'd listen to me. Emmett I had no real power over – physically, mentally, or socially. Plus I didn't know how well he kept secrets – would he accidentally tell Edward?

But I needed him, I needed a fighter. Jasper would probably come with Alice; I could tell her to tell him whatever and he would listen, but I still wanted more on my side and without Edward I would need someone good in battle.

"Bella," I heard as I felt a cold hand slap (lightly) on my thigh. "Bella, are you listening to me?"

"Sorry, what did you say?" I smiled sheepishly.

"I asked..." she sounded irritated I hadn't been hearing her words, "have you been losing weight? These dresses should be fitting you perfectly! Now only half show your curves! How are you supposed to make Edward speechless if you're hidden under a sack of fabric?"

"Um... sorry"

"You should be," she snapped, but I had a feeling she wasn't really angry with me. "Now we'll have to go shopping together," she sighed as if it were a chore, but could barely hide her grin.

"Oh no, shopping – it's like your least favourite past time."

"I know," she whined again, then peeked up at me, dimples forming on her tightly compressed lips. I was sure I looked similar, because as soon as she looked at me we both cackled with laughter.

After a little wheezing Alice put a hand on my shoulder. "Stop laughing and put that dress on," she ordered, pointing to a purple pile of fabric on my bed. "We only have an hour to do your hair and make-up so hurry up!"

I smiled at her keenness, with her vampire speed she could probably make me up in two minutes but for some reason she liked to do it normal speed, or just faster than normal speed (she was too good to be as slow as a human).

I let her do her work, not even bothering to look into the mirror to see what I looked like until she was done. Well, I might have, but Alice was all for surprises (maybe because she rarely got one herself) so didn't allow me to peek.

I was... not amazed because I knew how good she was, but extremely happy and excited by what she had done to me. I looked really good if I do say so myself.

The dress was gorgeous, and still looked gorgeous even if Alice said it was too big for me. It was a cocktail dress, v-necked to mid-chest showing just the edges of the circle of my boobs. The whole dress was almost toga style, loose folds of fabric reaching just above mid-thigh, making two thick straps beside my collarbones that had been compressed as they threaded through three silver beads over my shoulders. There was an elastic-like band of silver material just below my ribs, making me look a little curvier than I actually was. While I loved my physique's ability to be muscled and toned it didn't create the tiny waist big hips and boobs of the 'hourglass figure' which was okay in my books, I liked my abs.

Alice had made me promise to shave the day before, so my legs were smooth and shiny under the dress, lengthened by the silver stilettos she had me wearing. I had worried about the height difference but Alice shook off the notion with a, "It'll be funny to have Edward looked down upon by his girlfriend, just let me take a picture then you can wear the silver flats I packed in your purse". The purse she was referring to was a silver Guess bag she was letting me borrow, with threats of torture if I as small as scratched it. I was also wearing some of her diamante jewellery. The good thing about having a vampire best friend is I didn't have to worry about the germs I always did when sharing earrings. The earrings while glass (I don't _always _need the best as she had said) was big and beautiful and made those rainbows on the wall from its faucets. I amused myself when she wasn't looking by rotating slightly to move the beams of light.

She hadn't done too much with my hair, just curled some of the edges slightly so it looked even fuller and more wavy than usual, the caramel streaks splitting the chocolate areas like raspberry swirls in ice cream.

It was the makeup I was always astounded with; somehow she made my eyes look massive, framing them with eyeliner and stretching my eyelashes out so they looked at least a cm longer. She had used smoky eye shadow the blend with the eyeliner, and used a bronze blusher I knew she had probably brought only for me to highlight my cheekbones and bring out the olive in my skin tone. She used a clear gloss on my lips and a lip liner identical to the shade of them to outline them and make them look fuller.

Alice smiled while I gawked at my reflection. "My work is done," she sighed happily, then turned completely serious. "Now get my dress from my purse, I can't have you looking gorgeous while I look, ugh, _ordinary_," she said the word like it was an obscenity. I laughed at her, as if she – a vampire – would ever look ordinary; even after all her magic with her styling I still looked worse.

She turned to the mirror, picking up a brush and a can of hairspray. Her reflection glared at me and pointed out of the room. I giggled again but ran out of the room to get her dress; she might stab me with a bobby pin if she had to wait any longer. The click of my heels on the floor was loud, and I kicked them off when I got to my room. I'd put them on when it was time for me to leave.

Alice had already finished her hair by the time I was back. Maybe she only used the slow speed on me so as not to frighten me, or maybe so I stay still. She ordered me to hand the dress – bright pink with fabric roses – on the towel rack. "The problem with vampire speed styling is the makeup goes _everywhere_," she explained.

I looked down at my spotless dress, a little confused as to how she did manage to not make a mess even with a slow speed.

By the time she was done with her hair and makeup she was even more beautiful than usual, and all that talk about mess was really on a tiny bit of dust on her shirt. She still vowed to scrub it clean when she got home.

Her dress was shorter than mine, strapless, and showed her tiny waist before flaring out almost tutu-style. It looked amazing on her, and she looked even more faerie like every time she span around and it flew up, exposing more pink layers beneath.

"Don't do too many flips with that on," I warned, "I'm sure everyone doesn't want to see your underwear – well, all the girls don't anyway."

Alice laughed. "I'll try not to, but Jasper's always the one who leads when we dance so..." she smiled. She and Jasper were amazing in the dance floor; they did lifts and flips, slides and everything. I knew this party wasn't likely to be like the school dances, but they may still be extravagant.

I had seen Jessica's house before, it was quite big though not as big as the Cullens. Her mom worked for the bank so they had a fair amount of money. I knew for a fact that almost all the young population of Forks were coming, plus some from La Push, so it would be pretty crowded – Alice and Jasper's dancing could be dangerous in such conditions.

Alice smiled suddenly, bright and blinding with her perfectly straight and white teeth. "They'll be here soon, go get your shoes back on."

When I stood beside Alice in my heels it felt a little odd. Normally I would wear flat shoes and she would wear heels, but in that one moment I was wearing heels and she wasn't... I felt like I could pick her up and put her in my pocket.

Then she took her heels from her bag, and I gawked. "Jeez Alice, those things are as tall as you!"

She poked her tongue out at me and slipped on the – I don't know – like nine inch heels? It was a good thing she was a vampire because a) no one else would be able to balance in them and b) if she does slip or get pushed or whatever. I believed if I took my shoes off – with the two inches of height her hair added – she would be as tall as me.

"You know, they're probably going to talk about those heels for weeks after the party."

She grinned, "Is that not the point? Well, part from the fact I don't want to look like a midget beside you, it is the point."

"Then let me just wear the flats!"

"No, it would ruin the outfit, you would look _daggy_." She cringed.

I laughed. "Maybe I should go barefoot."

She threw a pillow at me, hard. Pillow didn't normally hurt when they hit you; I still laughed though.

There was the ringing sound of our doorbell. "Door," Charlie called. I would have called it laziness but I knew for a fact he was still reading the files that Seattle sent out, trying to piece together information, and verify links between the murders/disappearances. He had slowed down since the teacher incident, but he still read in his spare time. Edward told me that he wasn't always thinking about it now, as he had almost been before, but he still tried to unravel the case in his spare time.

I walked down the stairs carefully, as I always did in heels. I hated stairs when I had anything higher than a four-inch. The shoes I wore were five so I made sure I wasn't about to put my toe over the edge or whatnot.

Alice flitted down the stairs like she had no shoes on, like she didn't even need to stand on the ground. With her added height from the heels it did almost look like she was floating past me.

Alice opened the front door just as I got down the staircase. I heard Jasper's drawling exclamation, "My, my, you are GORGEOUS today."

I also heard Edward ask, "Why may I ask are you wearing stilts?" I heard a thwack that I assumed was Alice hitting him, and his melodious chuckle as he moved away, into my line of sight.

I took great pleasure in the way he gulped and how his eyes roamed my body, then confusion as his eyes stopped at my heels and he tilted my head.

"Alice," he growled, turning to the pixie, "please do not tell me you have made my beloved taller than me?"

I came to stand at Edward's side, indeed taller than him. "Hey, now you'll the one that has to reach up when we kiss!" I giggled.

Jasper guffawed at the words. "Edward, you look tiny! Gosh, why isn't Emmett here right now?"

I frowned at the Southern vampire. "I'm taller than you too," I added.

He stopped laughing, and then stalked over to me. I had taken his thirst away a couple of days ago so I wasn't extremely scared – plus there was the fact that I was taller than him. Still I knew he was one of the most dangerous Cullens – the most to me because Edward didn't have the advantage of reading my thoughts – so I gulped a little.

But then he went around me, turning so we were back to back, then he straightened. Alice giggled and suddenly there was a flash as she took a picture. I shook my head when she gestured for me to stand beside Edward, then grinned as he wrapped his arm around my waist and I draped my arm over his shoulder, it was kind of like I roles were reversed – just for a moment anyway as the camera flashed.

Alice was smiling down as she flicked through the photos. "Why have you never modelled before Bella? You have the height and face for it."

I didn't answer; I had modelled before, but not in this life. Alice didn't notice that I didn't answer; maybe she had intended it to be rhetorical.

888

Jessica's house was packed! As we pulled up on the curb there were at least twenty cars. I guessed we were a little late as everyone was already there, and I meant everyone.

Since we had to park a fair way away from Jess's house I passed a lot of cars, and one of them just so happened to be a Rabbit. Edward stiffened when he saw that car, wrapping his arm more firmly around my waist. I had thought he responded that way because it was confirmed they were actually there – I didn't realize that the wolves were still near the car.

They were suddenly standing beside the Rabbit, dwarfing the small car. Jacob was the tallest, at least three inches taller than Embry who was in turn at least three inches taller than Quil. They had all decided to wear shirts (thankfully) and were wearing different shorts than the normal cut-offs. They also wore shoes! They were fully dressed for once!

Jacob eye's found me almost immediately. Edward had let go of my waist as soon as I saw the wolves, so I had walked forward into the middle of the road. I wanted to surprise the wolves with my height, if I was dwarfing Edward it would give it away.

I felt the same amount of vain pride I did when Edward first saw me when Jacob looked me over. He didn't stare as long as Edward had, probably on hearing my vampire's soft growl when Jake's eyes rested on my chest for a moment.

"Bella," Quil was the first to speak, all but running at me, "you clean up good!"

Embry nodded in agreement, "She _is_ a girl!" I giggled at his words, whenever I hung out with the trio we weren't exactly doing girly activities – girls can have a spitting contest can't they?

Then Jacob spoke, and I wondered if it would have been better to rock up in jeans. "You look... great," he gulped as he said the words, eyes flicking once to Edward before settling back on my face.

"You look good too!" I said just a little too enthusiastically. "Now tell me, how do shoes feel after all this time?" I teased.

"Restrictive," he answered, seriously.

Then Quil and Embry were standing next to me... looking up, and looking like I had just slapped them with a fish.

"Now that's not fair," Embry muttered, looking at my feet.

"Oh c'mon," Quil moaned, "you're almost taller than me without the shoes!" I heard a faint, high giggle and knew Alice was laughing.

Jacob was still taller than me, but only by a few inches rather than almost a foot. "I can't call you Shorty tonight can I?"

I smiled, than lifted a leg, rested my foot on my knee as I slipped the shoe off. I heard Alice's protests just before I whirled around and threw the shoe at her. She caught it of course, and the other one, but looked like I had punched her, pouting. The ground was wet, so I quickly slipped on my ballet flats. "Alice, you've had your fun, you didn't really expect me to dance in those did you? Someone might step on them, and dare I say it, scratch the leather!" I gasped in mock outrage.

She stuffed the shoes into her bag, frowning at me as he lips moved quickly and silently in what I assumed was an angry muttering. She stalked ahead of us, Jasper almost jogging (human speed) to keep up with his irate wife.

Jacob walked a little off to my side as we walked. Edward seized my side again, gripping me tightly.

It didn't take long for me to hear the music blaring from Jessica's house. I could guess how loud it would be inside from the fact that twenty metres down the road with most of the openings closed. My head throbbed – I forced myself to ignore it, the noise was about to get much worse.

I was blasted by the noise as I opened the unlocked door, and I mean I literally almost fell over, clutching at my head that had felt like someone had thrown a medicine ball at it.

"Are you okay?" Edward whisper/yelled into my ear. I nodded quickly, I wanted to do this. I pushed inside, past a few people littering the doorway.

People stood everywhere holding plastic cups and chugging down what they had. I could smell the alcohol in the room, as well as a faint smell of sweat. People everywhere were swaying to the music, no one actually dancing though – well, not yet. I just glimpsed Alice dragging Jasper behind us towards the dance floor.

"BELLA," Jessica yelled, sloshing the what-looked-like-beer in her cup as she approached me. She spilt a little on my arm as she hugged me. "Rocking party, isn't it?"

I frowned down at her, she was wearing heels and a really short dress, but she was still pretty short next to me. "Are you drunk?" I asked.

She shook her head, laughing slightly, "No, but I may be one of the only ones. Someone brought some kegs, I don't know who. This is my first," she gestured to her drink. I squinted at her, she didn't look drunk, no swaying, no red eyes – she was just extremely happy about her party. I smiled when I was satisfied she was sober.

"C'mon, let's find Lauren, now SHE is drunk," she laughed and pulled me. Edward released me, chuckling; I glared at him for abandoning me.

Lauren was most definitely not sober, surrounded by guys and kissing a sophomore. I shook my head at her.

"Lauren, guess who's here?" Jessica squealed.

Lauren moved her hand, slowly and shaking, to the boy she was kissing's face, pushing his head back and turning, blinking up at me.

"BELLA," she squealed, jumping from the couch, she tripped over her own feet and ended up landing in my arms. "You are awesome!" she yelled, then turned to face no one in particular, poking me in the chest with several hard jabs as she announced, "This girl here is amazing, the teachers fucked with her so she screwed them!" There was a chorus of "Yeah" from the crowd at the words.

I placed Lauren back on the couch before I was surrounded by people, all congratulating me, most slurring and swaying. Someone handed me some punch, I sniffed it and took a little sip, tasting no alcohol. I was thirsty from answering talking to everyone, most of whom I barely knew, so I took a glug and ended up finishing the cup off.

After another hour of people approaching me I was parched, and went to search for the drinks. There was a table full of alcohol; I avoided those substances, instead opting for the non-alcoholic punch. I stayed beside the table, filling my cup with the punch every so often while people continued approaching me, congratulating me, asking me to dance, asking questions, and slurring things I could not understand so I only nodded. When I realized standing beside the drink table was putting me into the path of more people I slipped away, walking until I found someone who was NOT drunk. My head felt really light, my headache gone. I was excited by the fact.

Quil grinned when he saw me, and I grinned widely back. I really liked Quil, I voiced that fact. "Quil, you know you're like a brother to me!"

"Cool, you're like a sister to me! I'm glad I have Claire now because Bells you are smoking! You better watch yourself, I think Jake was about to pounce."

I laughed, and laughed, and laughed, for some reason I found it really, really funny, I could barely stop laughing. Quil was frowning down at me, just barely down – he was short.

"I am not short!" I realized I said that aloud, and laughed more, running away before he could find something to throw at me. I giggled, the mental image of me and Quil in a pillow fight hilarious, especially because I imagined Quil in pink girl pyjamas.

I was still giggling when someone grabbed me from behind, spinning me around. I giggled as my head span, making a "Whee!" noise. I giggled as I slammed into a soft body, the thin boy taking a step backwards with my weight.

Mike looked at me eye to eye. "You look really beautiful tonight," he whispered, warm stinking breath brushing across my face.

"You're breath smells like beer and vomit," I commented, giggling. "Did a beer bottle vomit in your mouth?"

"No, I drank some beer and puked. Do you want to come upstairs?" His hand moved to my ass.

I punched him in the gut, he folded in on himself. I grabbed his lowered shoulders and peaked around looking for frizzy hair. When I saw Jessica I pushed Mike at her, "Take Jess upstairs, I'm sure she wouldn't mind." I was such a good match-maker, Mike immediately began kissing Jessica, and she pressed up against him. I started looking around at the others in the room, think of who I should get together.

Then I saw Jake, and immediately began running at him. He was standing in a corner; a drunken sophomore trying to throw herself at him, Jake was gentling pushing her away.

I rammed the girl out of the way and jumped at Jake, he caught me, holding me below my but as I wrapped my legs around him. His eyes were wide and he looked so surprised. I giggled at the expression, ruffling his hair, it was really soft. "I love your hair," I said, and then kissed the top of his head, laughing as he lost his hold on me for a second, catching me before I fell to the floor. I pushed against his hand and he lit me slide gentling to the floor. I pushed my dress down as it rose slightly, ignoring the whistling as someone behind me saw.

I took Jacob's big hand in both of mine, pulling him as I walked backwards. "Jake, come with me!"

"Where are..."

I turned and put a hand to his mouth. "Sh," I said slowly, grinning – I was tired as of a sudden, but I still wanted to do this. "We have to find Edward."

Jake stiffened and I pulled at him. Suddenly Edward was behind me, arm wrapped around my waist. I pulled Jacob again, spinning out of Edward's hold and giggling as the room blurred. Then I wrapped my arms around both of their necks, grinning up at the ceiling. "I love you both, did you know? I love you guys so, so much!" I started laughing again, giggling as I realized I could lift me feet off the ground and was still held firmly by the two. "I'm flying," I giggled as I kicked my legs.

"What's wrong with her?" Jake asked.

"I am perfectly fine thank you very much!" I growled, staring up into his face and trying to make my face look angry. It didn't last long, and soon I was giggling again – I wasn't angry.

"I don't know," Edward answered, pulling my face to his. My arms were getting really tired, so I let go, falling to the floor and stumbling. They both caught me before I fell, and I giggled, leaning against their large hands – on was hot and one was cold.

"You're like ice-cream," I said to Edward, then turned to Jacob, "and you're like a hot doughnut," I giggled again, "and you're both sweet!"

"Is she drunk?" Jacob asked.

"No," I answered, standing now and looking at my hand. "I didn't have any beer at all." I turned my hand around, eyes widening. "Look, my hands lighter on the inside!" I stuck my hand in their faces.

"Her breath smells strange," Edward commented. "Wait here with her, make sure she doesn't hurt herself, I need to check something." He left, I pouted. Eddie was leaving.

I turned to Jake when Edward was gone, looking at the massive hand wrapped around mine, leading me to a chair. I dropped into it, grinning at the puffing noise it made. "Jake, do you have any food? I'm really hungry, and thirsty, I want some more punch."

Edward was back, eyes furious. "She's been drinking the punch. The punch was spiked."

I gasped, bringing my hand to my lips. It felt all tingling, I laughed – I seemed to be doing a lot of that. I laughed at the fact I was laughing.

"Eddie, Jakey-wakey, my head doesn't hurt anymore. D' ya wanna dance?"

"Who spiked it?" Jacob growled at Edward, but for once he didn't seem mad at the vampire. They were friends, I smiled, I liked them being friends, I whispered as much but they ignored me. I wanted more punch.

"I don't know; whoever it was isn't thinking about it now. Most of these people aren't actually drunk, the drugs are affected them."

"I had some punch, it didn't affect me," Jake said.

"You're a w..." Eddie was about to say werewolf, I almost finished the sentence for him but my voice sounded funny, I started making some sounds because of how weird they sounded, like I was a monkey. "It doesn't affect you."

"What do we do?" Jake asked.

Edward shrugged, "Get her home, safe, where she can't hurt herself or anyone else."

"Charlie's going to kill you!"

"He can't," I giggled, "Edward's in-in-indestructible-bull."

They both looked down at me, I felt small, and I didn't like feeling small. Where was Alice with my heels?

"We should get her home now."

They walked me out, Embry, Quil, Alice and Jasper joined us. Edward explained to them what happened, Quil nodded like a puzzle had just been solved for him. Alice looked sadly, apologetically at me.

I grinned at her, waving, she frowned deeper.

I pressed my face against the window of the car, watching the blue/black forest and houses pass by quickly. My nose was squished against the glass and left an imprint outline by the foggy grey from the moisture in my breath.

Edward pulled me out of the car and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, feet dragging along the ground as I let him carry me. "You're so strong Eddie."

"Stop calling me Eddie," he said.

"Okay Ed-ward," I giggled as I stretched out the name. "You know you're really handsome," I whispered. He shook his head at the words, "No really, you could be a model! Why aren't you a model! I'd pay for a calendar of you!" Edward sighed; I pouted and looked away from him.

Alice and Jasper stayed in the car, worried as they looked at me. I couldn't feel their bodies with my gift, maybe they weren't really there! They were ghosts! I gasped at the realization, it all made sense, the floating, the white skin, how they were cold.

"Oh my gosh Edward, Alice and Jasper are ghosts! They're white and cold and they almost float and they like, materialize out of nowhere."

Edward rang the doorbell, ignoring me now. I kissed his neck, trying to get his attention. Charlie opened the door to see my sucking on Edward's ear, while the boy in question stared gloomily ahead.

"Mr. Swan..." Edward started.

"What have you done to her?" Charlie accused.

"I didn't do anything to her – someone spiked the punch."

"And you let her drink it?" Charlie's face was turning red, like watermelon. I was really hungry.

"I didn't know at the time," Edward defended.

"Who did it?"

"I don't know, I think they left after they did it."

"So what do we do with her?" Charlie asked.

"We have to wait for the effects to pass. I think she should sleep."

"I like sleeping," I grinned at the thought. "I'm starving," I added.

"You carry her to her room, I grab her some food. You can leave after that!"

I found myself on my bed soon after, trying to tug my dress off. Edward kept my hands still while I frowned at him. "I don't sleep in this!" I kept saying.

Charlie actually looked apologetically at Edward as he saw my vampire trying to stop me peeling off my clothes. "You better leave before she bites you or something. Is this how you younglings act when you're high these days? I'll be fine from here and thanks for looking after her."

Edward nodded, I smiled - maybe Charlie didn't hate him as much as I thought he did.

Then I smelt the food in Charlie hand, and almost swallowed the bowl with how fast I ate. I immediately then felt tired, curling up on my bed. "Night Dad," I called, started to tug on my dress again.

Charlie hurriedly left the room, not wanting to see his daughter in her underwear. I pulled the dress off and threw it at the floor, lying on my front and almost immediately falling asleep.

I woke when I felt cold hands on my back, I flipped to see Edward on top of me, and I grinned. "Eddie finally giving up?" wrapping my legs around his waist I tried to seize his mouth.

"Bella, you aren't in your right state of mind."

"Who cares, I like this state of mind better." I kissed along his jaw.

"Please Bella, for me, stop doing this."

"Give up Edward," I whispered in his ear, sucking his earlobe, running my teeth over its hard surface. "Call uncle, haven't you waited long enough."

I didn't need my gift, which for some reason I couldn't use at that moment, to know his body was responding to me words. He growled, and then coughed, pulling himself off me. His shoulders were tense as he walked about the room. Suddenly he was pulling a massive T-shirt (one of his that he had given me) over my head. "Much better," he said gruffly.

"What, are you saying I'm fat?" I grouched, and then giggled as he immediately went to deny it. "I'm just foxtrotting with you Edward."

"Foxtrotting," Edward questioned.

"I don't like the word fuck, I'm going to use foxtrot from now on."

Edward chuckled and kissed me, deeply, pulling my sheets over my body. Then he lay beside me, discreetly holding me down. "Now go to sleep."

I giggled and closed my eyes, soon obeying his words.

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><p><strong>Well, Alexis was a little... happy.<strong>

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	17. Castrate

**Oh guys, I haven't updated in a while, sorry. I was going to update yesterday, but I forgot. Sorry again.**

**Anyway, this is a nice long chapter, and has a good long treat too - but I won't tell you baout that yet *grins***

**Read on guys!**

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><p>16. Castrate<p>

I woke in the morning and felt really well rested. I grinned with the morning dull sun, sitting up and stretching. Edward was sitting beside me on the small bed, watching me.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I am fantastic," I answered, because I honestly felt really good, I felt like I had the best, longest night sleeps ever. Then I gasped, I'd slept for ages. "What's the time?" I asked, keeping the panic out of my voice.

"Six a.m.," Edward answered, voice confused as he tried to follow my train of thought.

If it was six, and I felt like I'd slept for hours. "Damn it, I missed Jess's party." I couldn't remember anything from last night, that last thing I remembered was Alice telling me to get my shoes. Did I decide not to go? My head had been hurting lately and I had been extremely tired. I didn't feel at all tired now. My head felt better than it had in a week, it must have been stressed caused, I never felt less stressed in my life.

I realized Edward was frowning, staying quiet.

"I did miss Jess's party, didn't I?" Why was he being so quiet?

"No, you didn't Bella."

"I didn't go or..."

"You went," Edward said. I concentrated an all that had happened last night, pushing past a bleary-like haze to the memories. Immediately it all came flooding back, and I cringed. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, stroking my back comfortingly. "The punch was spiked, Carlisle said it was Methamphetamine. It smelt a little funny, and you're heart rate was really high, I thought it was just because you were running around everywhere and it was stuffy. You were acting like you were under the influence of alcohol."

"Who spiked it?" I chose to ignore what I had done – at least I hadn't streaked or seen massive spiders. My memories did have a strange tint to them. I remembered everything being really good and sharp, though I couldn't place when it had exactly happened.

"I don't know and whoever did it didn't have much, the punch was much diluted and it took a lot of drinks for it to affect you. I was listening to your conversations, Jessica was watching you down the punch like you'd 'just run a marathon'." He used his fingers as quote marks.

"How was everyone else? I mean, I wasn't the only one to drink the punch."

Edward tilted his head, eyes un-focusing as his gaze slid over my shoulder. "I wasn't listening too much other than you," he said finally, "but I think others had similar experiences to you - Jessica for one. Many of the others made use of the kegs some previous students of Forks high brought. One of the sophomore's is one of theirs brother, and told them about the party. Forks doesn't have too many big parties, so they came all the way from Seattle. Actually, they were probably the ones who brought the ice." He seemed angry as he talked about the spikers.

"Edward, no harm no foul. Nothing happened to me!" I smiled to show exactly how great I was, I almost felt like dancing!

"For you maybe," I thought he muttered. When I frowned he quickly said, "You're right, it's really only you that matters to me." I didn't like how he phrased that, what had happened to the other people? I would find out on Monday, right now I had a whole weekend to enjoy myself.

888

Charlie was sleeping in (for once) so I decided to make him pancakes. Edward had left after a long heated kiss. It left me time to think, I had made pancakes so many times I could probably do it sleeping.

The ice had left my mind remarkably clear. I had slept remarkably well for having only received a few hours (according to Edward, that could be one of the side effects – my body was tired my mind just didn't register). After last night my head felt almost clear, a whole night of euphoria and free of guilt had given it time to heal, and I also realized the guilt was stupid, it was in the past, I could do nothing to those that died or changed. At most I could just ensure those that ruined their lives were killed, which I planned to do as soon as possible.

I would use this day to approach the next Quileute, and also to tell Alice to talk to Emmett. She could ask him when Edward was away, most likely with me. Then, once I had some more pack members, I would distribute instructions to them all. If only I didn't have to keep them mostly in the dark. I sighed; this would all be so much easier if I didn't have an overprotective vampire, mindreading boyfriend.

"Bells," Charlie's sleep-drawling voice carried from the hallway. He came in, scrubbing at his eyes, sniffing. "Do I smell pancakes?"

"I have to fatten you up after all that weight you lost," I explained. "They are banana-blueberry."

Charlie chuckled; patting his flat belly, there was no beer gut left. "Hey, who said I want my belly back, this is for the ladies," she grinned, patting his stomach again.

I smiled at his words, internally cringing. Poor Charlie, how long had it been for him, years?

I explained to him that I wanted to go meet up with Jacob when I was washing his dishes, Charlie still reading the paper (not a file thankfully) and drinking his coffee. "Oh that's good, because I was thinking that I would see Billy today."

He elected to have his weekend spent in leisure without any forcing – he really was on the mend!

888

I drove Charlie in my truck down to the reservation. He was all geared up for a day of fishing, and Billy was ready and waiting by the time we got here.

"C'mon you slow poke," Billy called as Charlie struggled to get the fishing rod out of the back – it kept catching on the sides of the truck. "You know we've probably already missed the tide, what did you do, sleep in?"

"You could have always picked me up, honey," Charlie teased sweetly.

"Oh, you know I'd be a better wife than you ever could have dreamed of."

I giggled as I listened to the parent's friendly barter. It was good to hear Charlie happy and not stressed. Jacob was asleep inside; I wanted to let him keep sleeping. So I didn't have much to do when Charlie and Billy left the driveway, towing their boat behind them. They were going to get some bait then going deep sea fishing. They promised to be home in time for dinner.

I tiptoed inside their home, not wanting to wake Jake. After doing a little compulsive cleaning while I planned exactly what I would say to Seth, I decided to check on Jake.

He really did look young when he slept, definitely not 30 or older like he tried to claim he 'actually' was. Regrettably I had to admit that he still looked older than me, he really did physically mature after his phasing. He almost looked bigger, spilling over the edges of the larger bed I had bought him in his own new room. He was stretched across it almost horizontally, arms hanging out as was his feet. He slept on his side – his head resting on his arm – and a line of dried drool shined across his face. I wanted to wipe it, wash it off.

Instead I restrained myself, moving to sit on the edge of his bed. He mumbled slightly at the movement, but otherwise went back to sleep.

I felt how tired he was, felt it in his muscles. I also felt how the arm under his head was asleep - nerve ways blocked by the weight of his head, and that his back and neck was sore from the lack of proper head support. So I experimented, taking control of his body to move him correctly on the bed, lengthwise, with his head on the pillow. His unconscious mind was submissive, not resisting the forceful control I took. I felt tired after I had moved him, like I had physically lifted him up and moved him. I hadn't noticed that before with my gift, but I guess I hadn't done very much like this before – taking away thirst didn't require any physical exertion.

I had made room on the bed beside him for me to lie down. I settled down comfortably, closing my eyes. I didn't feel sleepy, but I couldn't resist it – I knew how soft the bed was – it was like resisting standing in the sun on a cold day, there was no reason not to.

I would find Seth today. I had already told Alice what to do.

I had texted her this morning _Where's Edward? Are you with him?_

_No, he is away, _she had answered.

_Good, I want you to tell Emmett today, leave out most of the details. Delete this please._

_Will do _

I smiled at the memory. This would all work out well, and I just had to believe that. After all, how was Edward to find out? I was sure everyone would be very careful with their thoughts. Well, I hoped they would be very careful.

I had been thinking so hard that I didn't realize Jacob had stirred until I found giant arms being wrapped around me, pulling me close to his warm body. At first I thought he had woken up and glared, at him, and then I realized he was still sleeping, eyes flickering behind his eyelids. He was smiling widely in his sleep, crushing me against his side. I tried not to struggle against his hold, I wanted him to get as much shut eye as possible, but his hold was almost uncomfortable – my boobs actually hurt from being pressed so hard against his chest. The thought might have made me blush or made me uncomfortable in another situation, now it just made me annoyed. I tried to wriggle free, realizing there wasn't much hope in that after a few moments. He was just too strong, and his arms weren't even flexing – I could barely imagine how strong he would be if he actually tried. Not as strong as Edward, certainly, but still like two or three body builders in one.

It was when he whispered my name in his sleep, his hand lowering to my butt, that I started to feel extremely uncomfortable. My arms were pinned to my sides by his embrace, and as much as I wanted to use my gift to free me from my restraints, I wanted to tease him about this more.

"Jake, JAKE, JACOB!" I increased the volume in my voice.

Jacob didn't wake with a start, instead slowly blinking his eyes, squinting down at me. "Good morning," I said chirpily.

"Um ... hello," Jake's voice was huskier than usual, deep and rough, it made me feel weird to hear it, not how I liked to feel when his hands still grasped my buttocks.

It took one yawn and few more bleary-eyed blinks for Jacob to realize exactly what situation he was in. Then he all but jumped out of the bed. "What..." he started.

I giggled, but was really trying to hide the relief I felt at being able to breathe without squishing my boobs even more. "That must have been having a pretty good dream! I was lying down beside you and you grabbed me."

Jacob blushed, it was cute. I smirked.

Then the red faded from his cheeks. "You're the one who jumped into my bed – the leech not putting out?"

I stiffened at the words, they hit too close to home. I remembered last night, while I was high, how Edward refused me yet again.

"EW, Bella," Jake said, assuming.

"No," I said quietly, "Edward isn't, hasn't ever, put out." My head fell; I was surprised at how upset I was about that.

Jacob's face seemed a mix of disgust and hope. I could guess why he was disgusted, and just the same he was hopeful – he was glad I hadn't had sex with Edward, and disgusted that I would want it in the first place.

"Of course he won't, he's a rock!" My theories were confirmed by his words.

I moved my gaze to my hands, attacking each other on my lap as I forced my emotions from my face, forced the tears to not fall. I didn't feel this rejection last night, when I was happy about everything, when nothing could get me down. Now was different, and as much as I knew Edward wanted me too I couldn't help but think about other reasons he didn't want to do it with me apart from that he was worried about hurting me. Was it because he didn't want to see me, be with me, when I wasn't perfect from the change? Did he not want my human sweat on him? I came up with other silly reasons in that moment.

Then Jacob approached me, draping an arm around my shoulder, and I unconsciously leaned into his side, taking comfort in his body. If I imagined hard enough, I could pretend it was Edward.

"You know, if the vampire isn't putting out, you could always come to me! I'm sure I'm well enough equipped for your needs, it doesn't have to be anything more than physical."

I gasped, pushing away from him and falling off the bed onto the ground in the process. Jacob laughed both at my reaction and the fall. I grumbled and wiped the dust off my knees, standing with all the dignity I could muster and said "Well, at least I don't get erections when I'm sleeping." Jacob blanched, yes I had noticed, I could guess what he was dreaming about when he grabbed me. "I'm finding Seth."

I stalked out of his house, and then realized I had no idea how to get to the Clearwater's house from here. I wondered around for a little while, trying not to feel embarrassed.

"Bella," I heard Jacob call behind me fat I'd been walking for a couple of minutes. I picked up the pace, stubborn and determined to make my point. I could hear his dull footfalls on the road

"I'm sorry," I jumped when I realized he was right beside me, damn he could move fast, and quietly, I was sure he was twenty metres behind me. "I was rude."

"You were," I agreed bitchily, still walking fast.

"Um, Bella, Seth's house is the other way," Jacob pointed out when I turned right at the next road. I tried not to look stupid as I turned around, Jacob chuckled.

"Why do you want to go to Seth's? Leah will probably be there, and trust me, you do NOT want to see Leah after a night shift; she's grouchier than grizzly bear that has been stung by a hive of bees."

"I'm not in the craziest of moods right now, maybe we'd get along," I smiled without humour.

Jacob cringed at the words; Leah must really be a harpy. "C'mon Bella, it was only a joke. If I offended you're sexuality or something."

"Shut up right now Jacob or I'll castrate you."

"Okay," Jacob held up his hands like I was a police officer.

When Jacob opened his mouth as I turned a corner then closed it worriedly that I stopped being so stupid and bitchy. I sighed, "I'm sorry Jacob. I overreacted. It's just... there are problems in my life right now, I was feeling really happy then my mood got butchered."

"Yeah," Jacob grinned at me, "You were _very _happy last night."

I cringed, Jacob laughed, bumping my arm with his own. "That was not my fault," I argued.

"I know. So why did you want to see Seth again?"

"It's about certain things – I need numbers."

Jacob blanched for a moment, realizing what I intended. "You want Seth – Bella, he's just a kid."

"I know - that's why I need him though. He's good for a watch dog – who would suspect him?"

"Someone who has a nose?" suggested Jake, annoyed.

"I'll put him in an office with windows, no one will smell him but he'll be able to see."

Jake still looked torn about including one of the youngest, and definitely happiest, nicest members of the pack, putting them in extra danger. I knew Seth would have no objection. I didn't want to put him in too much danger, I would make certain he was safe – but I wanted a lookout, and with the wolves being able to communicate telepathically it would be best to use a wolf rather than a vampire as the spy.

I was worried about the smell, but my idea was to keep the wolves as far from the area as possible and have them come at the last moment. Actually, the idea was to have _everyone _come almost at the last moment. It was like setting up a net, the catch had to be inside before you could bring together the edges.

Jacob nodded eventually, still looking sad. I took his hand and squeezed it, trying to comfort him, show him I meant his friend no harm. Jacob squeezed it back, eyes twinkling happily. I let him he have the moment – just in case I needed his help with Seth.

He led me to their house. We walked in companionable silence, sure both or our thoughts were elsewhere. I was thinking about what I would say to Seth that wouldn't insult him. I knew he would want to be directly in the fight, not off to the side watching.

Jacob knocked on the Clearwater's door. It was a small house, about the same size as Jake's, except theirs had hints that it contained women, flowers in the windows, a herb garden out the front, a mailbox with little flowers painted on its side.

There was a soft padding sound of footsteps on the wooden floor before the door opened, revealing a very cranky looked she-wolf.

"What do you want?" she snapped at Jacob, she hadn't noticed me yet.

"We want to see your brother," Jacob asked politely, the courteousness was strained though.

"He's sleeping," Leah said, about to shut the door when the boy in question appeared under her arm.

"No I'm not," Seth argued, running under his sister's arm, smiling eagerly when he saw Jacob. "Jake, how's it going man?" It was cute to see him try to act like Jake, greeting him much like Jake greeted Quil or Embry. Seth even did a fist bump; Jake was smiling down at the boy like he was an overeager puppy licking his hand.

"Oh, hey Bella," Seth said, noticing me. He smiled and raised his hand a little, unsure as whether to shake my hand or give me a hug. I chose for him, hugging him tightly. It was less comfortable than usual, for one he wore no shirt – while that barely registered with me it seemed to register with him – and secondly he had grown so when I tried to give him a hug from above like I used to I found he was now just taller than me. "Bella, you're shrinking," he said, chuckling.

"No, you're growing," I ruffled his hair; he pulled away from the motion. "Soon you'll be as tall as Jake and I won't be able to do this anymore." He grinned at me and then up at Jacob. I heard a loud sigh as Leah walked away, slamming the door behind her.

"Don't worry about her," Seth whispered. "If she wasn't a wolf, she'd have PMS right now."

I gasped, cringing at the fact he knew that. Jacob cringed too, pretending to hurl. "I heard that," Leah yelled from inside. Seth laughed while Jacob and I kept trying to put the picture out of our heads.

"What did you guys want?" Seth asked chirpily. Forgetting his previous comments I look pointedly at Jacob, who gestures to the forest.

"We found this epic place in the woods. Come, we'll show you," I said.

Seth looked even more excited, and followed us into the forest. We walked for a long time, me constantly looking at Jake, waiting for him to tell me when the coast was clear. It took thirty minutes until Jake thought it was secure, and even then I was worried.

"When are we going to get there?" Seth groaned impatiently. "Can't we just phase? You could sit on Jake's back, Bella; we'll get there way faster."

"Seth," I said softly, taking I step towards him. "There is nothing to see, I lied, because I needed to speak to you alone."

Seth frowned, eyes looking a little worried as I took another step towards him. He kept looking at Jake, seeming to make sure that whatever I was about to say or do wouldn't hurt him in anyway. He trusted Jacob to make sure I wouldn't hurt him. Was I really that scary? I was a human; the most I'd ever done was incapacitate a wolf.

"Seth, stay still," I said as he took a step back. I put my hand on his shoulders, leaning forward so my lips were almost at his ear, and speaking as quietly as I could manage. "I need your help, but you can't tell anyone, okay?"

Seth nodded, I continued.

"Jacob and I and a couple of others have a sort of mission to complete. I need you to be our eyes and ears, protect us you could say." Seth seemed to become really excited, which I didn't exactly know was a good or bad thing. "Can you keep this secret, and I mean completely secret – you can't even think about it, not when you're a wolf or anywhere else someone could read your mind."

"Are you hiding something from Edward?"Seth asked suddenly, and louder than I whisper. I shushed him, putting a hand over his mouth, while Jacob looked around, looked for anyone that could be in hearing distance. He couldn't go wolf to check for patrollers, because then they could hear what he heard. I had to be satisfied by Jake's judgement. He should have good enough hearing to hear if any wolves were near. They mostly patrolled the border anyway; they didn't protect the pack from what was within.

"Yes," I answered Seth, quieter than before. Seth looked to Jacob; I could guess what he was thinking, so I explained further. "It's only because what I want to do is dangerous, and Edward would never let me do it."

"What is it?" Seth asked.

"We're going to track down the redhead," Jacob took a breath in at the words, hands shaking slightly. He wanted to kill Victoria for trying to kill me – soon he may get a chance too, along with someone else. Victoria was centuries old, she had to be a good fighter – Jake was used to hunting in packs – I would create a pack for him to do so, though they may not all be werewolves.

Seth was standing straight now, his smile so wide it looked painful. I stepped back and crossed my arms, staring at him until his smile fell. He looked confused at my sudden change. I raised an eyebrow at him, just a second off glaring. "Seth, you have to take this seriously. You've never even faced a vampire – you don't know how dangerous it is."

Jacob seemed about to scoff. I stabbed at his knee with my gift, effectively 'kicking him under the table'. I felt pain in his lip as he bit it, but he stayed quiet, which is what I was aiming to achieve. I would so beat him up when I was a vampire; make him take his enemies seriously.

Seth nodded determinedly. "I do take it seriously; I just want to help you!"

"Good, I'll tell you more sometime later – until then, don't talk about this, don't think about this, don't even dream about this. I don't know if I can erase a memory with my gift, but I can sure as hell try."

Seth nodded eyes a little wide at the threat.

"Come on, let's get back before you're family suspects anything. How your dad been lately?" I asked, completely flipping my whole outward view. Inside I was still thinking of the plan. I half listened to Seth - Jacob once he joined the conservation too. I barely contributed, only keeping up my smiling and happy facade. I barely added to the conversation, and when Seth returned home this was more obvious.

"Bells, you okay?" Jacob asked, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

I took the hand that was patting my arm, untangling it from behind my neck. I took his big hand in mine, and sat onto the ground, pulling him with me. The bracken was damp on my jeans, and I ignored it, I ignored everything except Jacob and what my conscience was yelling at me.

Jacob sat down beside me, holding my hands in his own. He looked so sweet and caring that I almost cried at that moment – I didn't deserve him, but I choked back that thought. That was a problem for another time.

"I'm just really worried about all this. I mean, what if everything goes wrong, what if something happens to one of you, to little Seth, or one of the Cullens..." I took in a deep breath to stop the wavering tone my voice had started to adopt.

"Bella, don't worry, I'm sure you'll come up with the perfect plan, and nothing bad will happen. Even if something does go wrong, we can take care of ourselves. You're the one I worry about – you plan to include yourself in this plan don't you?"

"I'm the bait," I smiled; it felt more sad than happy though.

Jacob scooted closer to me, pulling me to his side and stroking my arm. I let him, it felt nice. I leaned against him, closing my eyes and trying to force the guilt and worry away. I wasn't to know it wouldn't work yet, I had barely even started. I would leave the worry until later, until I was sure there were faults to worry about.

I succeeded, and smiled, wriggling out of Jacob's hold to stand, stretching. "Feeling better?" Jacob asked from below.

"Much, and thanks," I said, offering him my hand. He took it, pulling himself up, and keeping my hand in his.

"C'mon, let's go to the beach," Jake suggested, pulling me a little to start me walking.

I sighed, "We always go there." I knew I was whining, but it was true.

"Bella, you love the beach, and what else is there to do?"

It was true; I loved the beach, the sound of the waves. I'd love it even more if there was soft sand under my feet, the water was warm, the waves big. Still, the pebbles were cool, navigating the unstable rocks fun, the rock pools interesting. I could watch them; watch the sea, for hours. Before I knew I had already walked to the ocean, Jake having led me while I thought.

So I hadn't noticed the determined set to his jaw, the ways his eyes kept flickering to me worriedly, the way his free hand kept tapping on his thigh.

We reached our favourite tree/bench. Jacob led me to it, pulling me to sit beside him. Unlike usual he turned his body to face me, rather than let me sit by his side sometimes leaning against his shoulder. My brow furrowed in confusion, but I turned my body to his. Was he finally realizing the problem of this mission, finally wishing to back out?

He took a deep breath, and I readied myself for his withdrawal, mind already finding a way to work the plan without him. It would be harder, tighter, and more dangerous for those who remained.

"Bella," his voice was soft, and the hands that held min were... sweaty? "I want to tell you something. You already know it... but I think I should say it out loud anyway. Just so there is no confusion on the subject." My stomach dropped because I knew what he was about to say, about to plead.

"I'm in love with you, Bella. Bella, I love you, and I want you to pick me instead of him. You did before, you can again. You say you don't feel that way about me, but I don't believe it. Yesterday you said it yourself, you said you loved me. The bloodsucker too, but you said you loved me! Bella, you need to know you're options, know I'm perfect for you! I want you to choose me, Bella; I want you to choose me instead of him."

He closed his eyes, calming himself from his pleading, and then looked back down at me. "Okay," he grinned. "That's all."

I sighed, closing my eyes and leaning away from him, putting my hands to my temples. "Why did you have to bring this up now," I whispered. Did I not have enough stress on my shoulders right now? Hey, maybe someone should chuck a piano on their? It'll be great fun!

"Because it's there, Bella, it's been there since you dumped me for _him_," I was almost glad he said him rather than leech or bloodsucker, but he spat the word with enough acid to dissolve a tank – there was no way in hell Jacob would ever get along with Edward. "Tell me why you want me around Bella," his voice was desperate now, his hands seizing my arms, holding me tight enough that it was painful. "Tell me why, if you love your Edward so much, that you spend half your time with me?"

"Because I love you Jake," I snapped at him. He smiled and loosened his hold, leaning forward a little more as I averted my gaze from his. "I love you Jacob, as well as Edward. I need you Jacob, you're I don't know. You're like a brother to me," I forced the words, tasting the lie like a grapefruit on my tongue – bitter. "Your family to me," _family that kind of looked hot right now, no shirt and holding me with warm hands, _"and I can't think about ever being without you."

Jacob smiled at the words, leaning even closer to me, his knee touching mine, hands stroking my arms. "So you want me around."

I nodded, "Yes." I was trying to ignore how familiar his hands on my arms felt, how we used to act together when Edward was gone.

"Then I'll stick around."

"You're a glutton for punishment," I muttered.

"Yep," he popped the P. Then his hands moved down, seizing my waist and lifting me off the log, pulling me close – no not close, on him as he stood. My head didn't reach his shoulders, and I had to crane my neck to look up questioningly. "And if you want me, want to continue seeing me; you have to accept me, bad behaviour and all." He squeezed my waist for emphasis, laughing as I squirmed.

"Mean," I accused, pouting as my struggles got me nowhere, it was just like in his bed that morning, except this time he was awake and aware of what he was doing. He moved his hand from my waist to the very bottom of my back, pushing me even closer to him so I couldn't even look up.

"You are too," Jake's answer was so fast and serious it was like he had stabbed me.

"You're right."

"I forgive you," Jake laughed, I was sure he was smirking, and it wasn't just my gift telling me so. "Just don't get _too _mad at me because I recently decided I'm not giving up. There is something irresistible about a lost cause."

"You mean a cause that wasn't there to begin with?" I muttered angrily, trying to pull away.

Then he pushed me back a little, leaning down so his face was too my face. "There is a cause, and you know it. You might have tried to forget it but I know you haven't – I definitely haven't. Remember it Bella, remember this."

I couldn't move fast enough to evade him, even when I saw the resolve, the determination in his eyes, the way his eyes travelled to my lips.

Then he attacked me, and for a moment, a painful guilty moment I liked it, liked the way his hot lips were soft against mine even if they were trying to crush me, the way his warm, hot body melded with mine rather than just my own making way for his.

Then he pushed it further, and there was nothing pleasant about it. The arm that had wrapped around my neck, elbow holding my face so I could not pull away, its hand started groping on my chest, copping a feel that while gentle was extremely uncomfortable. His other hand had migrated south from my back, pushing my butt forward so I was pressed against his body. I could feel the planes of his muscles through my shirt but was disgusted enough by the actions of his other body parts that it did not seem attractive.

Book-Bella stopped moving when Jacob attacked, her. I wasn't as nice, or maybe since the circumstances were different – the fact I was actually being sexually assaulted – I felt the need to show him he was doing wrong.

I opened my mouth for a second and Jacob pushed his tongue into my mouth. I breathed in how breath into my lungs, and bit down on his tongue – hard.

He gasped, pulling his head back. I threw a punch into his gut; ignoring the pain it caused my fist against his rock hard abs. His arms released me, moving to his stomach as he started to curl into himself. Then I grabbed the sides of his waist, bringing my knee up between his legs. He gasped, and started to swear when I flipped around, sending a kick into the side of his face. He went down, onto the ground, swearing and spitting blood.

"That is the _second _time you have groped me today, and this time you do not have the excuse of being unconscious. I'm leaving before you increase the assault to rape."

With that I ran off, literally ran, hoping his wolf-healing wouldn't kick in immediately and I could make it back to my truck. I tried to ignore the breathless "Bella" called from the beach, pushing away my guilt and speeding up.

My hand was throbbing, book-Bella may have had an awful punch, but Jacob's face had to be softer than his stomach. I flexed the hand, grimacing as my middle finger's knuckles screeched in pain, and the finger didn't respond well. I could feel through my gift something was wrong with my hand, the bone felt misplaced. "Fuck," I muttered as I ran – it was dislocated.

I thought I had evaded Jacob, seeing my truck in the distance, when I heard his voice. "Bella, Bella come back."

I ignored him.

"Bella, I'm sorry, stop running," his voice was closer now.

I speed up.

"Bella, you need me! Without me you have no one, not Quil or Embry, not Seth, not even Sam. You need me, Bella!"

I stopped, turning to face him, glaring with everything I had. He stopped dead in his tracks at the expression, half sad half scared that I was directing the look at him. "Maybe I'll go alone then," I growled, turning again and this time walking at my own pace.

"No, Bella, you can't do that," Jacob now seemed scared for me, panicked I would carry out the threat. I could, I'd need all the Cullens though.

"Bells," Jacob was pleading now and right behind me. He put a hand on my shoulder. I reached for it, flinging it off my shoulder, wanting to flip behind his back like I would any human.

But Jake was strong, and just trapped me facing him, holding my hand down. I was never more scared of Jake than I was in that moment, and equally as angry at him. He was shaking, his eyes glaring down at me. "You are NOT, going to do this without me," Jacob snarled.

My knuckle throbbed when he gripped my hands harder. "Jake, you're hurting me."

"Say you won't do this without me," he gripped my hand even tighter.

I swore, immediately lashing out with my gift, sending his hands and arms in spasms. I pulled out of his hands when they seized open, clutching my hurt knuckled in my other hand, holding them both to my stomach. I continued running, swearing when it looked like my middle finger was trying to take the place of my ring finger.

The muscles spasms must have stopped soon after I lost contact with Jake because soon enough he was grabbing me, holding my hands again. "Bella..." he started.

I dropped to the ground, screaming "Fuck". It didn't hurt _that _much, but he wasn't listening to me, to the fact he was hurting me. He released me like I had shocked him or screwed with his muscles again. I was glad he was leaving me alone, until he crouched over for me. "Bella, what's wrong?" he asked, worried and apologetic.

"You broke my hand," I hissed. "Fuck off, I need to fix it."

Jacob frowned, "Let me take a look."

I flipped him off with my good hand; it felt weird to do with my left hand. "Go and look up your arse."

"Bella," Jacob said softly, sadly. I ignored him, biting my lip as I snapped the finger back into place, forcing myself to keep the string of swearwords to myself. The finger still felt weird, the knuckle sore. I focused my mind on the knuckle, feeling a small fracture in one of the bones. I focused on the bones themselves, on the cells that made them. I pushed the two parts of the tiny bone together, melding and locking the cells together - making the bone once again. I moaned in relief, head falling back and eyes closing as I took a deep breath from the warm spreading from the knuckle.

"Bells," Jacob said thickly, swallowing loudly.

I slowly lowered my head, taking deep breaths to calm myself, before slowly opening my eyes, glaring through my lashes. "Jacob," I whispered slowly, "think carefully about what you want to say next – I am very close to snapping off your dick."

Jacob took a deeper breath, gulping. I waited, hoping that after this preparing he seemed to be doing he would actually say something that didn't make me want to slap him.

"I'm sorry Bella, for breaking you're hand." I stared up at him, resting my hand on the ground behind me to raise my eyebrow, give him an 'and...' look. "Okay, I'm sorry for kissing you."

"And groping me," I added.

"Oh c'mon, that had to be better than anything you do with that rock."

"Not even remotely close."

He pursed his lips, looking cocky now. "You could be just saying that."

"I'm not, trust me."

"You're just mad. I don't have much experience with this, you're the person I've gone the furthest with, but I thought it was pretty amazing."

"Yeah, you're a guy! Guys like groping girl's boobs, girls don't. Would you like me to just come up and squeeze your balls?"

Jacob looked thoughtful for a moment, grinning. I slapped at him, the motion not hurting my newly healed hand. I would have been amazed by the fact I could heal – it was the first time I'd done something like that. Now I had other things on my mind, like if I could cut a spinal cord with my gift.

"You're going to think about it tonight. When you're asleep, you'll be thinking about your options."

"Or I'll be thinking about having sex with Edward, taking a long slow lick of his dick and running my hands over his arse."

My words had the desired effect; Jacob was cringing and covering his ears. "I thought you said he wasn't putting out?"

"He isn't," I said without pause, smiling widely, "he will soon though."

"Bella, he could kill you, like – I don't know – split you in half with a thrust."

"Sounds good to me!" he cringed again. I stood, skipping back to my truck.

"Bella, please don't leave," Jacob begged now, not grabbing me with anything but his pleading, puppy-dog gaze. "You needed to talk other pack members right? You're already here, we'll do it today."

I pursed my lips, sighing when I realized I was caving. The idea of speeding the process up was appealing – if I could I'd go and get Victoria now.

Jacob saw it when I'd given in, smiling and reaching for a hug. I didn't have time to threaten him before he was hugging me again. I sighed and hugged him back, but pull away when one of his hands moved down an inch.

"Not so soon, bud," I threatened. Jake grinned sheepishly, taking my hand instead.

"I know you've fixed it, but want me to kiss it better?"

"Dog slobber does have antibacterial properties," I mused. Jacob laughed, bumping my shoulder, and I tried to forget what had happened moments before – happy to be happy with my werewolf friend.

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><p><strong>Okay, this chappie has a Jacob POV and well, I went a little bit too teenage boy. It gets a little M-rated.<strong>

**So, who wants to know what naughty dream Jake had earlier?**

**Review for the treat!**


	18. Action

**Okay guys, I'm going to say I'm a little miffed. Last chapter was probably the longest of them all, and had the longest treat chapter - and I got two reviews :(**

**Is it that you guys didn't want the treat? You still could have reviewed and said (please don't send me the Jacob POV)**

**Well, whatever you're guys thoughts thanks to those who did review, and if you missed last chapter or any others you can still get the treats if you review that chapter.**

**Anyway, Read on guys, this chappie is mostly dribble after the pack stuff.**

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><p>17. Action<p>

I was driving back to my home from La Push, debating whether I should tell Edward of the assault or not. It wasn't obvious that he had kissed me, I'm sure I always smelled of Jacob whenever I came back from La Push. I'd just have a shower, scrub myself everywhere – Edward wouldn't be able to tell. I felt guilt rush over me, I was hiding even _more _from Edward now. I sighed, I would tell him, but I would leave out the gruesome details.

Other than the kissing/groping the afternoon had been pretty productive. Seth was on board, and so were Sam, Quil and Embry.

At first I had been hesitant to talk to the pack leader – I didn't like him as much as the others and I was sure he didn't like me enough to put his pack in danger for me. I had underestimated how much duty he felt towards the human race – when I had told him about Seattle (in private of course – I had to convince Emily to go shopping by using Jacob to complain how hungry he was) Sam all but phased in anger. He had glared at me for not telling him sooner, all but calling his pack to charge right there and then.

I had sat down and banged my head on the table until he noticed me, confused. Jacob said nothing, and entity in the background waiting for my call before he would step in. "Sam," I had groaned. "If it was a simple as charging them do you think I wouldn't have already done it with the Cullens?"

Sam had growled, angered I trusted the vampires' skill more than theirs. I quickly moved to point against that fact. "No, I didn't mean just the Cullens; I would have needed you too. The thing is the situation is more complicated than that. They are newborns, young vampires, being arranged in an army by the redhead." Sam stiffened at the word, he hated Victoria.

"Then we track her down and kill her and the newborns."

"Really," a touch of sarcastic bitterness had entered my tone. "You'll just follow her scent and capture her like you have done some many times before? Just run through Seattle as wolves – it won't attract any attention at all."

Sam had stood up at my words, "Bella, we are skilled hunters; we can evade the human eye and still find her. Tell me what you know and I'll organise this. You don't understand this, you are human."

I had groaned. "Oh really, because you have been a werewolf for all of two years you are all that? You must have so much experience then, but do you. Sam, tell me how many vampires you've killed again? Hm, I don't think you've even killed one. You got close I'll admit, but still the total is zero.

"I may be human, but I understand vampires more than you. You have legends, old facts to go on, passed down through centuries, but the world has changed – you need knew information. I am not trying to offend you, merely to point out that we – the Cullens – know more about vampires. I'm asking you to work with us to stop Victoria killing any more innocents, but to do that you need to listen to me."

"Why?" he had asked. "Why do you have the authority here? You are not even a vampire yet," Jacob had growled quietly but Sam continued like he hadn't even heard the sound, "much less the leader of the Cullens. Why should I listen to you?"

"Because I am not speaking for all of the Cullens, I am speaking for only the few that I trust to keep this a secret. Edward would never let me carry out my plan, and since he can read minds I can only tell this information to those I know will not leak this plan out through their thoughts. Carlisle does not know of this plan."

"And what is this plan, and why would the mind-reader forbid it?" Many of the werewolves refused to admit Edward was my mate, they wanted me to be with Jacob the same way the Cullens wanted me with Edward.

I explained it to him, of how I would be the bait, of what would happen next. He very soon understood why Edward would not understand. In fact, he looked to Jacob befuddled, as if the question why Jacob would allow me to put myself in this danger as well.

"I also want only a few of your pack members in on this," I finished up with. "I do not know if I can trust them to keep their heads blank if they cross paths with the mind-reader."

"I understand, Bella," Sam smiled, "and I will try to make this more efficient. Whoever we pick I will order to not think of the plan near your bloodsucker, of course, it isn't very affective when we are human, or when we are unaware of the mind reader's presence."

I had smiled brightly still, that would make it so much easier. "Thank you Sam, you do not understand how much this means to me."

"Bella, you are bringing us a fight, I do not think you understand how much this means to _us._" Sam had grinned widely, and Jacob had followed suit.

Of course Quil and Embry had been all for it. Sam would alpha-order them later, when it was only those three who had phased. They had been even more boisterous and excited then Seth – they very nearly whooped in pleasure at the idea. I hadn't been able to quiet them, so Jacob had stepped in, all but ordering them to shut up and stop thinking about it. That was it in polite terms, what he really said was, "You two should shut the fuck up before I put your heads up each others' butts. If I so much and as presume you guys are even thinking about it I will kick you're balls so hard even with wolf healing you won't walk for the next week."

I had tried not to smirk at that – knowing where his inspiration for the threat had come. I was proud of that particular attack – I guess my karate classes hadn't been forgotten. That would be good for when I was a newborn, maybe I'd have _some_ skill.

After the proposal Quil and Embry had demanded we hang out with them for a while. They had joked they could probably try and buy some alcohol; they looked old enough for it. There were two problems to that, everyone in La Push knew each other even more so than in Forks, and secondly there was no point for them to get alcohol, they couldn't get drunk anyway. The only point of it could be to try and get me drunk, to which I told them when I was drunk I wasn't like I was when I had been high the other night, I went moderately insane and almost bipolar, happy as a lark one second and ferocious as a tiger the next.

Quil hadn't thought I would be very ferocious tiger, more of a kitten – Embry said nothing but I think he felt the same. Jacob said nothing – I was no real threat to him physically, but I could still lash out on him. Even a kitten has claws.

We basically just walked around until the sun started to set, at which time I told Jake I needed to get home, make Charlie dinner. He would be tired from fishing all day and would be grumpy if he had to wait long for dinner. Jake perked up at the thought of my food, asking if he could come to dinner again. "Billy's cooking is like gruel compared to yours."

"Aw," I had cooed, reaching up to ruffle his hair. "Suck it up and get some pizza."

"We aren't all rich like you – I mean you bought me a whole bedroom!"

My mood had fallen at that. That had been dirty money; I still had some of it in rolls in my sock drawer. "I'm not rich, Jacob, but if you need money just ask."

"So you can take it off your boyfriend. He's rich enough he wouldn't probably notice a missing million." Jacob had intended it to be a joke, but his voice was butter as he said it. He still thought that one of the reasons I chose Edward was his money.

"Probably, he's had several lifetimes of jobs."

Jacob frowned. I hugged him to get the expression away. It worked; soon he had smiled down at me, squeezing as hard as h could without breaking a rib. "Come back soon," he muttered into my hair, then surprisingly, kissed my cheek.

It was so sweet that I didn't even glare at him. All I did was return the gesture. "Of course, and be ready too – we could go at any time." I didn't need to elaborate further for him to understand. He squeezed me tighter, and I felt the air rush from my lungs across his face.

"Sorry," he muttered, releasing me. "Bye, I'll see you around."

I smiled sadly at him, at the pout on his face. "See you around."

So now I was worrying, worrying because of exactly how bad everything was going with trying to keep Jacob and me 'just friends' – because of how my being cringed away from the two words. I wanted Jacob, even if that was only a quarter of me who did. I wanted Edward more, but each day the idea of trying to keep them both was more and more appealing.

I groaned and considered hitting my head on the steering wheel. Why couldn't it be a clear-cut decision? Jacob or Edward - Edward or Jacob - why couldn't I choose? I kept making the excuse that I needed them both, but after we killed Victoria I wouldn't. What would I do then? Ignore Jacob, try to forget him, or push girls at him until he gives up and goes out with them to appease me? Or would he find his imprint, and actually forget about me, leave me? I knew that would be better for him, but the thought did not just stab at me, it ripped at me, trying to pull away the part of myself that belonged to him, the part that was large enough to cripple me for years.

Would that be better for me too?

These thought were making me depressed, so I pushed them away, to the back of my mind, where they would fester and grow but remain away for at least a couple of days. I would solve this problem when I had solved the others – I could only do so much at a time before I would make a major mistake.

Edward was waiting out at the front of my house, leaning against his Volvo. "Have you been waiting here all day?" I asked worriedly.

"No," Edward answered, smiling brightly and walking over to me to help me out of the truck. It was unnecessary, but it was sweet. "Alice called me and told me you'd be here, I'd been waiting for under a minute."

"That's good, have you had fun without me?"

"I would've had more fun with you. I mostly just read a little, wrote a little, and played the piano. Did you have a nice time?" I sounded a pretty dull day to be honest. Couldn't he have, I don't know, done something vampire-y, like jump off a cliff or skydive or run through the tree tops? It sounded appealing to me, but I realized even those wouldn't probably be fun when I was a vampire without Edward by my side.

I decided to answer the truth but vaguely. "Yeah, it was okay for the most part. I kind of just walked around with Jacob, Quil and Embry. Then um… don't get too mad okay," he nodded, but his brows furrowed. "Jacob, kind of, kissed me."

Edward was completely still for a moment, a statue of an angry god, perfect angular features distorted in a mildly covered rage. His golden eyes burned. "If it makes you feel any better, I attacked him for it then ran away."

Edward's rage was counteracted for a moment with amusement. "You did, and how did you manage that?"

"I bit him, and then punched him in the gut, then I kneed him in the balls, and then I kicked him in the face."

"I have a feisty one don't I," Edward mused, a tinge of pride in his voice.

"Yes you do," I grinned widely. "You're going to have to watch yourself if you ever run off with anyone else."

"I would never do that, Bella, you own every part of me, I would never betray you," Edward was completely serious as he said this, but I hated that how he said it formed in my head as an accusation about what _I _had done.

"I'm really sorry Edward; I couldn't stop him, I…" I started babbling, trying to make it better, to pull away that little part of pain that showed through his eyes.

"Do not be sorry, Bella, it is not your fault. If the dog ever kisses you again - as much as I love to hear about you hitting him - do it where _I _can be the one to teach him a lesson on assault."

I smiled, "Will do, though I don't know if he'll try and attempt it again. I told him, well; let's just say he may not be considered male anymore."

Edward grinned widely, gorgeously crooked, at that. My heart sped up a little and I attacked him, kissing at the smile.

He pushed me away lightly, looking very amused apart from his crinkled nose. "Bella, I'm sorry, but you smell. May we continue this after you no longer smell like dog?"

"Yes, yes we may," I grinned, actually running in my haste to take a shower and go back to him. I hadn't realized I'd missed him today until then, it was like a pain I wasn't aware of had been taken away. That reminded me, I would tell him about the healing just as soon as I was clean.

I did scrub myself, and stepped out of the shower slightly pink all over and my hair smelling of strawberries. Satisfied I wrapped a towel around my chest, walking into my room.

Edward was waiting, eyes closed, sitting on the rocking chair. He looked so beautiful and sexy that for a second I considered not getting changed, steeping out of my towel and throwing myself at him. As if he heard the thought he chuckled, "Get changed Bella, after we are married remember."

I muttered something about the change of times and the fact that no one else in my year was still a virgin.

"On the contrary, Bella, most lie about their experience. You know why I want to wait."

"Yeah, you want to maintain our virtue and blah, blah, blah. You know, I don't plan on dying anyway."

"No one lives forever, Bella, not even vampires," he didn't seem at all phased by that fact. I sighed. I could not be in more belief that there was a god, he had brought me here. I also believed that he was very forgiving, and couldn't be mad at me for enjoying what he had given me, right?

I was happy with all that I had though, extremely happy in fact. I sent a silent, "Thank you" up to heaven, aware that the words were never enough to cover it.

I changed into my normal underwear, tank top and track pants – it was a little cold today, it would be cold tonight. Then I went down stairs, getting things ready for the fish I knew he would bring back – just some vegetables and seasoned flour, I didn't feel like anything fancy tonight.

Charlie came soon after, smelling of fish and seaweed. He handed me the esky full of fish and went upstairs to shower, not even looking at Edward.

Charlie went to bed almost straight after dinner, looking tired but happy and somehow refreshed. The fishing, the leisure, the relaxation was good for him. He only gave a pointed look to Edward that was meant to say 'Get out of my house'. I kissed him goodbye, and Charlie watched him leave from the top of the staircase. Then he yawned loudly, "Night Bella."

"Night Dad," I replied, soon following his lead and going to my room.

Edward was waiting, lying on my bed, perfectly relaxed and patting the area beside him. I smiled and went to him, curling up into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, lifting me off the bed so quickly I barely noticed to cover us both with the blankets. Edward knew I preferred to be cold than not have him hold me.

"Bella," Edward said softly after a while, I had been humming quietly on his chest.

"Yes," I answered absently, running my fingers over the skin of his arm, through the small amount of tiny hairs over it. He wasn't nearly as hairy as Robert Pattinson.

"Would you like to come over to our house tomorrow?" he asked, he too was stroking, but he was stroking my shoulder and collarbone. It was relaxing, and felt nice, his cool fingers tracing circles on my warm skin.

"I would have to bring some assignments, and I may need some tutoring." I smiled up at him, sometimes to convince me to study he would play a game, every ten questions I got right I would get a kiss. It took a long time, because the kisses were not pecks, but long make-outs.

"If you wish," I heard the smile in his voice, he enjoyed the tutoring to.

"But I do have work to do here, maybe you should convince me." I grinned at him, moving so I could crouch over him, straddling his lower stomach and placing my arms on either side of his face. My hair fell, draping around my face and tickling at his.

Edward smirked at me, "Are you not tired? You've already had some action today!" I was glad he was now teasing me about it, rather than angry at Jacob.

"No, I've had some horror, definitely not my favourite type of movie. You are my action." I lowered my lips slowly to him, wanting to see his need, his impatience too. Sure enough he raised his head, placing his lips on mine. His lips were hard, and cold, opposite to Jacob's, but while Jacob attacked my face, Edward was soft. He pulled back slightly after a few seconds, sliding his nose against mine.

We were both smiling, and I could feel that stretch in his lips as his kissed my forehead as I kissed along his jaw. His hands had migrated to my waist, thumbs rubbing circles to either side of my belly-button. They were so big they could almost overlap around my waist. He squeezed ever so slightly as I ghosted my lips over his, staring into the deep gold of his eyes.

One of my hands was under his shirt, stroking. The other was laced in his hair, tugging his head closer to mine. He all but held me aloft with the hands on my waist, if I pulled my legs straight behind me he would barely even notice.

He brought his lips up with more force this time, my lips melding around his like butter to a knife. He opened our lips, his breath mingling with mine. I ran my tongue over his, which was strangely one of the roughest areas of his body, much smoother than my tongue, but more like bubble wrap than silk – it was slightly mottled.

It reached out of his mouth, running over my lip, my teeth, touching at the gum behind them. It was cool and sweet, like the most delicious Popsicle in the world, and one that never grew smaller and moved with my tongue in a dance.

The deeper the kiss went the further I wanted it to go. My legs clenched on his sides, knees pushing against his hips. The hand in his hair tugged harder, and each time his hands tightened I wanted them tighter. I wanted him to pull me onto him, press me against him like I was clay, moulding to his frame.

That was about when he pulled back, grinning with victory. "Are you convinced?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered breathlessly, "very much so."

He lifted me off of him, pulling me back to the bed at his side. I wrapped myself around him as much as I could, pouting as he whispered that I needed to sleep. "I'll only dream of you, and they won't do you justice."

He stroked at my hair in response, humming my lullaby. I listened to the sweet melody, to the harmony in his voice – falling asleep.

I did dream of the kiss, like Jacob had predicted, but it was a nightmare. I dreamed that I was kissing only one man, but half of him was cold and hard, the other warm and soft, and both sides seemed adamant in trying to have me only to themselves.

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><p><strong>Poor Bella, stuck between too great guys. Actually, I mightn't mind that *daydream*<strong>

**Okay, anyway no treat this chapter - but an Alice POV for the next. We're getting closer to the Victoria battle *excited jump***

**Oh, and guys, I just want to tell you that I'M DONE! YES I FINISHED WRITING LOOKING HROUGH HER EYES! I'm just writing the treats for you guys now, then I'll be on to the Breaking Dawn part of this series.**

**What do you guys want to call it? Review and tell me! **

**Also whose POV's do you want to hear the most?**

**Review!**


	19. Engagement

**Hey guys - I'm thinking about changing teh rating of these stories. I've been reading back and realized that they maybe a little... mature. Most teens already know whats in this story, but I think I should change the rating just in case. If anyone has any objections, please tell me.**

**Oh yeah, and I'm starting the Breaking Dawn of this series, but it'll be slow until I finish doing all the treat POV's for this story.**

**So, once again if you missed out on any treat POV's, just go back to that chapter, review it, and I'll send you it.**

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><p>18. Engagement<p>

It was an effort, but I managed to finish all my assignments at the Cullen's house. Esme supplied me with 'study snacks' most of which I insisted was coffee or tea. The caffeine made me work faster, and it was something to do while I waited for my brain to come up with good produce that didn't involve touching Edward. He was a big distraction, though somehow it was him that was the one making me finish earlier. He was kind of like my dictionary when I had a word blank, and also was excellent at rephrasing almost anything to make it easier for me to understand.

He took me to his room for the studying – Esme had a habit of sighing happily whenever she saw us kissing. She had waited for so long for Edward to be in love that it made sense she was happy when he was ecstatic. After Edward had left me she seemed even happier about me with Edward, as if she had been sure he had ruined his life after leaving and by some miracle I had returned to him.

I don't know how much she knew about me and Jacob, would she have that motherly smile for me when she realized I was a torturer of two amazing guys? Sometimes I thought she knew even more than I did, when I saw her sad smiles, her knowing looks, her soft comforting strokes when she saw the expression fall from my face.

Did everyone know I was sad and guilty when I showed nothing now? I rarely used it to hide any other emotions.

It had been a good hour when I was sure I completely ready for any test coming up – the biggest, hardest, and meanest were closer to graduation. Edward realized this when I groaned at every question he asked, and answered correctly after the whinge.

"So you are definitely sure you're ready?" Edward asked, rephrasing the questioned he'd already asked in several different ways three times already.

"Yes," I laughed, shaking my head at how many times he had asked the question, he almost sounded nervous – did he think I would fail; did it matter if I did? "I'll do fine, don't worry about me."

He smiled softly. "Okay, I have something I want to show, to ask you… officially."

I smiled at how awkward he looked. I could guess what he was about to do, and I had all but completely warmed up to the idea. It was just move everything forward – I would be a vampire sooner, I would have my honeymoon sooner, I would _be_ with Edward sooner.

He was back a moment later, small box in his fist. The other hand was held out imploring to me. I rolled my eyes, taking his hand and standing up as he dropped to one knee.

"Isabella Swan," his voice was smooth as he said it, so sure and determined that my heart raced and my knees weakened. "I promise to love you for every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

He opened the box, holding it up to me like a… well; it was an engagement ring. What was much better than that? Water when I was dehydrated in the middle of the desert? Even that didn't seem to measure up.

The ring was gorgeous, big and intricate, a long oval, vines of gold wrapping around small, perfectly cut diamonds. It shined in the dull light of the Fork's afternoon, facets of light shining against Edward's skin rather than being projected by it.

I felt like squealing, like jumping up and down, like giggling like a little girl who just got her dream pony… no, a unicorn… no, a flying unicorn. I was getting everything I'd ever dreamed about and more. I felt like tackling him, screaming yes, kissing him until my heart gave out.

Instead I composed my expression into a calmer one, though I could feel the smile all but ripping at my cheeks. "Yes, I will be your wife – forever," my voice was just as strong as his. I felt the Jacob-loving part of me trying to battle the much larger Edward-loving side. It was smashed easily.

Edward slid the ring onto my left hand, fitting perfectly on the ring finger. He was grinning just as widely at me, standing and kissing the ring, kissing my finger, my hand, then enveloping me in a hug, spinning me around.

"This ring was my mother's, Elizabeth Masen. I wish she were here to see it on your finger, to see you!"

"It's so beautiful; if she were here I'd thank her for it, and for bringing you into the world, for making my life perfect."

"I love you, future Mrs Isabella Masen."

"It does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

Edward kissed me then, hard, wiping the smile off my face. I was suddenly onto the bed, his form hovering over me. I grinned again, wrapping my legs around his waist, pulling my lower back off the bed. My hands went to his shoulder as I tried to pull myself completely up to him, which was hard when one of his hands was on my shoulder, lightly holding me down.

He was just as eager as me, kissing me for a moment as if he forgot he was a vampire, forgot how much stronger than me he was. It was not painful, more a harder pressure, and it was not hard enough.

Then he was pulling back, leaning his forehead against mine, sighing. His cool breath rushed across my flushed face – I was red from lack of oxygen. "I love you," I whispered up at him.

"Not as much as I do," he whispered. "Who would compare a tree to a forest?"

"Someone who appreciates detail, and beauty, intricacy, rather than bulk size," I argued.

Edward grinned at me, pecking at my lips; he shook his head slightly, but said nothing more.

I had barely heard the soft knock at the door when the enraged pixie flew in. She pulled me out from under Edward, who had closed his eyes, jaw clenched. "I know what you were planning Edward," Alice accused. "You are NOT running off to Vegas with her."

"Alice," Edward growled, now off the bed and towering over her. "You can plan any of our weddings after this."

"I promise I'll do it quickly, Edward. Before you know what's happening you'll be in a tux saying 'I do'." I had to giggle at the little vampire's enthusiasm as she promised.

"Alice, plan your own weddings," Edward growled. Was he just as eager to get this over with as well? The thought made my currently hormone crazed body heat a little,

"I do," she whined, "it's not as fun as doing it for someone else. C'mon, please."

"Ask Bella," Edward said, rubbing at his temples like the pixie was giving him a headache.

Her puppy-dog look was absolutely infallible as she pouted at me. "AI thought I already promised you I let you," I grinned. Edward looked shocked for a moment, and I shook my head. "Of course I knew you were going to propose, I just didn't know you'd do it so soon."

"You make me sound utterly predictable," he groaned, crooked-grin on his face.

"No, utterly irresistible more like," I answered, jumping him.

"Guys, EW, please wait until I've left the room," Alice groaned, pretending to barf.

At the same time Edward and I made moaning, groaning sounds. Alice left covering her eyes, with a loud 'blugh'. We laughed when she left, Edward dropping me to the floor.

"So, what do you want to do now?" Edward asked, taking my hand in his large, cold, gentle grasp.

I put my free hand to my chin, tapping. "Hm… well, I haven't been you're spider monkey for a while."

888

Alice texted me when we left the Cullen house, a simple word – _done_. I knew she had recruited Emmett, and if I was only happy before, I was ecstatic now.

"You'll strain you're cheeks," Edward warned when it seemed the smile would never leave my face.

"They don't matter; you can kiss them better if you want?" I even talked with a smile, if a less prominent one.

"If this is you now, how will you be at the wedding?"

"I will be an imitation of a Cheshire Cat."

"A very beautiful Cheshire Cat," Edward corrected. I tried and failed to smile wider, instead kissing his hand, entwined in mine, as thanks – face immediately returning to that jaw-breaking smile.

I had a few more minute of happiness before my mood fell. I had been elated, walking on air – or sitting I guess – when Edward said the words that sent my smile to the ground, where it could be rolled over by the wheels of his Volvo.

"Jacob's there, with Charlie – Billy is too. Do you wish to tell them?" he asked, thumb running over the ring on my left hand.

"No," I immediately objected, horror on my face. I could have told Charlie – heck, I was ready to a few minutes ago. But could I tell Jacob, grind my foot on his heart a bit more? No, I couldn't, and I couldn't in front of his father as well, that would be even more degrading for him.

Edward drove really fast, and while I was still cringing at my imaginations of Jacob's tortured face, Edward pulled up on the curb of our house. Jacob's Rabbit was in the driveway next to Charlie's police cruiser. I thought the two were going deep sea fishing again today. I thought Charlie had returned to normal. He may have, I realized, looking at the dashboard clock, it was already about the time I usually served dinner.

"Bella, do you really want to hide this? You knows, maybe the dog will finally get the picture from this. Don't you want to tell your father that you're engaged?"

"Yes," I could feel the emotion draining from my face, a knee-jerk reaction I was coming to realize when my subconscious wanted to hide something. "But not with Jacob there."

I opened my door, pulling the ring off my finger and pushing it into my pocket. I would save this admission for another day, maybe the day I found Jacob a girlfriend?

I walked normally towards to door, forcing myself to adopt a normal happy expression when inside I still felt so guilty. I wasn't even halfway-happy looking when Jacob ran out of the house.

I was expecting to see that wide smile I usually saw when he first saw me – that happiness that was painful to me but I realized I loved seeing.

I didn't see a happy face, Jacob ran at me, face torn half in anguish the other in cold fury. Those eyes were not for Edward, he ran not at the vampire, but at me. I tensed all over, wanting to run away from the threat, but my mind said that this was Jacob; I could not run from him. It said I should run to him, hug away the pain and anger he was feeling, solve whatever problems were causing them.

I had a feeling I was the problem right then, and I wracked my brain for what I had done to him this time. What hadn't I done to him?

"YOU'RE MARRYING _IT_?" Jacob yelled at me, pointing towards Edward, It seemed he wasn't even worthy of a 'bloodsucker' or 'leech' now.

It took me a second to realize how he had found out. Edward must have known Jacob could hear. Really though, he could hear through the car, through the house walls, past Charlie and Billy talking and most likely the television turned loud for their deteriorating hearing, and at least twenty metres away, all in human form. I would have been impressed if Jacob didn't look so bad.

His russet skin was turning red, his brows frowning so low only half of his burning black eyes were visible, glaring straight at me. His mouth was turned down in hatred and pain, jaw clenched, his hands balled into fists and shaking. He was leaning over me – wide, tall, massive and hulking. He was shaking all over.

Then Edward was standing in front of me, and I was ten metres away from Jacob.

Edward looked just as vicious, arms protective around me, leaning slightly forward, his teeth bared. He growled deeply, echoing lowly from his chest. The sound was not human, and for a moment I was afraid of the both, afraid I would be killed if they started fighting so close to me – a stray kick would be all it would take to crush my fragile human skull.

But they were both… ugh, there was no one word to describe them adequately. I loved them both, in different ways, but I couldn't allow them to fight.

Jacob looked even more tortured when he saw me behind Edward's arms, eyes so sad and glassy with unshed tears. I couldn't stand that look – I could not live with it.

Edward would look the same if I shocked him with my gift to go past his arms, and I don't think I would be able to live with that amount of guilt plus the guilt for Jacob, and for all those killed by the newborns, and the guilt for the newborns who had their lives taken away from them, and for all the wolves and the Cullen's for putting them in danger and in discomfit every second they had to watch out for the venging vampire who wanted to kill me for killing her mate. I even felt a tiny amount of remorse for Victoria – for killing the person she lived for. If Edward was killed, or Jacob even…

All the rush of thoughts had made me dizzy, and I had an idea. The two had pulled together to help me before…

I fainted, or pretended to faint.

Immediately Edward was crouching over me, and I could hear Jacob loping over to join him. Edward hissed a little at the werewolf, but Jacob kept moving, I could imagine how he would roll his eyes at my fiancée and continue anyway.

"Isabella," Edward whispered softly, his cold hand stroking my cheek.

"Bells," Jacob said louder, patting at my arm with his massive, hot paw of a hand.

I was struck by how different the two were – almost polar opposites except for a few major facts – the facts that they loved me, they cared for me, and they would do anything (mostly stupid things) for me.

I didn't deserve them. I wouldn't be like Bella and be suicidal over that fact, instead I felt warmed all over and insanely guilty, trying to come up with any idea of how to make this work with them both. Would they be opposed to me dating them both?

"BELLS," I heard Charlie call from the door. I heard his heavy footfalls as he ran to me.

I opened my eyes a little, seeing through tiny slits, to see Charlie pushing Edward out of the way a little to look me over. He looked worried and confused, his hands hovering over my body – unsure of what to do. "What happened boy?" he snapped at Edward.

I moaned a little shifting my head, closing and opening my eyes continuously. I knew Edward and Jacob had probably seen my eyes open for my father, so I had to play it up that I had actually fainted. Edward moved his cold hand to my wrist as if he needed it to check my pulse – maybe that was for Charlie's benefit.

My father was putting a clammy hand to my forehead. "Bells, you okay?" he whispered.

I muttered an "I'm fine," groaning as I felt the back of my head. The faint may have been fake, the fall was not. My head hurt where it hit the ground, grass or not. I probably just lost twenty thousand brain cells. I wondered if the dead cells became in use when you were a vampire. Would a brain dead person who turned into a vampire be able to think?

While I had let my mind wander – it was better to not think of the pain in my head and the slow headache I could feel building – I hadn't realized Charlie had been struggling to pick me up to take me inside. Edward offered to carry me; he said it like he had asked a few times already. Then Jake asked, and Charlie tried to hide his smile as he allowed Jacob to carry me.

Then I was being pulled off the ground, thick hot arms sliding under my body, lifting me up and cradling me to his chest. I curled myself ever so slightly toward it, blinking up at Jacob.

His eyes were mostly worried now as he looked at me, but were still moderately in pain. The anger, the accusation in them was gone. I could tell it hurt him to be this close to me now with what he knew.

I moved my hands to his chest, pushing slightly. "I can walk," I insisted.

Jacob hesitated for a moment, and then sighed, setting me down lightly. We were already inside, he did take long steps.

Jacob shook his head ever so softly down at me, eyes almost only pained now. "Why?" he mouthed at me – I felt like crying and I wasn't even the one in pain. I reached out to touch him, touch his arm, my gift floundering for a way to make it better, to take away his pain. The pain was not physical though, it was mental, and I could do nothing to help him apart from killing the memory cells of me – which would heal back soon anyway if I somehow found out how to distinguish the ones that were memories of me or of other things.

My hand floundered at his bicep for a second, I felt useless. Then I rubbed his arm softly, cringing up at him. "I'm sorry Jacob, I'm so sorry, but can we talk about this later… please?"

Jacob nodded, and then coughed, his face turning into that emotionless mask I hated.

Edward and Charlie had witnessed most of the encounter, seconds behind Jacob. Billy had been watching us the whole time; he had never left the patio without help to go down the stairs in his wheelchair. I could not help Jacob, but I could help his father.

"Bella, you have mud all over the back of you and it's dripping on the floor." Charlie's words were stiff and awkward, more of an icebreaker in a room so tense even he could feel it suffocating him.

"I'll have a shower." I started moving up the stairs feeling all their eyes on my back.

"I guess we'll be off then, thanks for the pizza," Billy said.

"No, stay, the game isn't even over," Charlie's convincing didn't seem wholehearted, he was aware them staying would cause more tension.

"I'll ask Harry for the score."

"Okay, do you need help getting down the stairs?"

"No, Jacob's a big boy, I'm sure he can manage his old, small, crinkled Dad." Billy chuckled.

I turned from the top of the stairs, running back down and attacking Jake with a hug, squeezing him as tight as I could. This couldn't be the last time I saw him, he had to forgive me, understand. He seemed shocked at first, and then hugged me back, regardless of the mud that ended up covering his arms. "Don't you dare run off!" I whispered fiercely into his ear. "I'll come to La Push tomorrow afternoon."

He nodded, and I felt relief as well as all the guilt for once. Then I stepped away from Jacob, determination now also swirling through my veins.

I move to Billy, and gave him an awkward hug around his chair, my hands grasping at the exposed skin of him arms. I closed my eyes, concentrating on my gift, amplified twentyfold by the contact. Billy was even more surprised than Jake by the sudden hug, and rested his arms over my banding back, not squeezing like his son.

I travelled through his body, searching for the reason he could not walk. If it were as simple as the bone broken in my knuckle I'm sure I could have healed him easily. But Billy did not become immobile from an injury, a car accident. Jacob had told me became immobile from diabetes – the massive blood vessels had contracted, tightened. They did not supply an adequate amount of blood to Billy's muscles for him to be able to walk, to use them for much other than sitting still.

I realized I was much better with my gift if I didn't over think it, let my instincts rule and do what came naturally. I felt the problem; I felt I wanted to fix it – so my gift worked to fix it. I felt – no pushed, stretched, the walls wider, healing and growing the cells to stay fixed rather than snap back in place like a rubber band.

Billy gasped under me as he felt my gift work, his leg muscles tensing and throbbing as the blood they had been starved of flooded through the cells all at once. My gift did not just focus of one area, one vein; it worked on all the major blood supply vessels at once, from his thigh to his toes.

"Billy, what's wrong?" Charlie's voice seemed far away, a different time. It sounded low and long, like a clip that had been massively slowed down. I felt my own heart racing as the using of my gift used up energy in me, made me tired.

I felt when it was done, just as Charlie grabbed my shoulder. I was immediately back into the present, and it seemed now that everything was in reverse, everything was moving fast. Charlie pulled me off Billy, his friend's slack arms falling from my waist. There were tears in Billy's eyes, and a smile on his face as he looked up to the sky, seeing past the ceiling. He closed his eyes, humming slightly as he wriggled his feet, flexed his skinny unused legs.

I knew it would take him months of rehabilitation, of taking it slowly to rebuild the muscle in his legs, his balance, but he could do it. It would work. I sighed happily, leaning back and closing my eyes. I hadn't realized I had lost my balance until Edward stepped behind me, catching me as I fell.

"Billy, Billy," Charlie said, patting at Billy's face with one hand, lightly shaking his shoulder with the other.

"What did you do?" Edward whispered at my ear.

"I fixed him," I whispered, smiling up at Edward. "I did it, I healed him."

Jacob was frowning at me.

"Get off me," Billy growled at Charlie, but he was smiling. His eyes flickered to me, and there was confusion in it, like he wondering exactly what he had done but was glad of it. I was confused, how would he not know what I had done?

"You okay?" Charlie asked again.

"I'm fine. Guess I'm just a little tired. I haven't been fishing with you so long I mustn't be used to the strain."

Charlie looked him up and down considerably, unsure as to whether he should let his friend return after the strange incident he just witnessed. "Okay, be careful alright?"

"I'll be fine, now you _are_ sounding like you're my wife."

Charlie glared a little and punched him in the arm, but they both laughed after. I smiled and leaned back further into Edward, who wrapped his arms around my waist. I took a few seconds of enjoying Edward's hold before I realized Jacob was staring at me, the pain and accusation in his eyes.

"Hey boy, come and help me down," Billy yelled from outside.

Jacob turned quickly, walking quickly away, but not before he gave me, gave us one more glare.

I tried to pull out of Edward's arms at the look. This time Edward was holding on. "Let him go, it'll be better for him," he whispered to me.

"No," I objected struggling more.

"Bella," he said, trying to reason with me.

"No," I said again, dropping to the floor and ducking under his arms. He groaned but didn't stop me.

"Jake," I called. Billy was already in the car, and Jacob was walking to his side.

"Goodbye Bella," he said formally, expression once again blank and hard.

"Bye," I whispered, feeling traitorous tears well in my eyes.

I watched him drive away, standing on the driveway. Charlie was still inside, and Edward was watching me from the veranda. It started to rain, I didn't notice until Edward was pulling at me, pulling me out of the cold.

"This doesn't help anyone, Bella," Edward growled in my ear, sounding angry and betrayed slightly, but mostly sad.

"I know," I whispered, closing my eyes and hoping the rain would mask my tears.

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><p><strong>Okay, Alice POV, review for it.<strong>

**Also, I'd love to hear what you'd like me to call the Breaking Dawn.**

**REVIEW!**


	20. Countdown

**Okay guys, close to Victoria now, and I have changed the ratings but if you've read up to this far you have probably read why I changed teh ratings. I haven't written any lemons in this story (I've finished remember)**

**So that birngs me to my second topic - I want to write the Breaking Dawn on this series, so I'm not going to write any more treats. There's about three after this, so you'll have a few more hits anyway.**

**Soz for teh loing A/N**

**Read on!**

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><p>19. Countdown<p>

Emmett knew, Jasper knew, Alice new, most of the pack knew. Everyone I wanted to include already knew. Now was the time to act! What had happened with Jacob only made me want to speed up this process. I needed to break it off with Jacob soon; I needed to get this done with soon. It felt like everything in my life right now had a countdown, and right now they were just about to hit zero.

Today at school I had started, very soon I would finish – very soon. This would all be over by the end of the week – it was a comforting thought. It was also frightening, I was coming to the end of a tunnel – I didn't know what was at the other side.

At school today I had started on the excuse.

I had talked to all my school mates, saying how much I enjoyed the party, how we would soon graduate and we should have more get-togethers before we all go our separate ways for college. "We need to make the most of this time, it's a proven fact that most people lose tough after high school," I had said.

Jessica and Lauren were all for it, as were all the others to a slightly lesser degree. Edward whispered in my ear that most of the guys were only for it because they wanted to see the girls in short-tight dresses again, saying how _appreciative_ (he said it so I knew the word was much more mild than their thoughts) they were of the dress I was wearing on Friday. I had grinned at him, turning and saying, "You could see much better whenever you like. I promise you it will be better than whatever they think." Edward had swallowed and glared, while his hands moved to my left hand, rubbing my ring finger. "Fine – maybe you shouldn't go then, wouldn't want your innocent mind tainted by their thoughts."

Jessica – right to plan – had asked me once again to invite the Quileutes. We had decided in the lunch hour to go on Tuesday night to Seattle. Everyone was too excited by their ideas (many I had suggested) to go at the weekend, and everyone had tests on Thursday and Friday and didn't want to be tired. They wouldn't go tonight; they all had too little time to get ready. That was right to plan; I had to force the victorious smile that threatened to creep upon my face every time something went my way.

Edward even said he didn't want to go. He would let me have one more night with Jacob as well as this afternoon – to smooth things out he had said. But because he wasn't there some of the Cullens had to be. I elected Alice and Emmett, explaining I had the most fun with them when I wasn't with him. Alice nodded vigorously in agreement, though made sure that Jasper had to come. I would take his thirst before he went.

Edward called Emmett to invite him, to which he agreed. He didn't insist on bringing Rosalie. That confirmed for me that he had not told his mate. It was definitely hard to keep in the smile.

I did not call Jacob, I would see the whole pack that afternoon anyway – possibly night. Alice said that she would go shopping tonight as well, and bring Jasper and Emmett to make sure they had 'suitable clothing'. Apparently they hadn't dressed well for Jessica's party – I had hardly noticed. Alice hadn't informed Emmett of the shopping; she had called Rosalie, who had agreed profusely that Emmett wore disgusting clothes. She trusted Alice's judgement so would not attend (Edward explained to me she was waiting a shipment of parts for her BMW and wanted to work straight away on the car).

Everything was working so perfectly to plan it was uncanny, worrying in fact. I felt like with each victory there was an equal and exact defeat, and since none had happened so far I worried that the consequences of an easy start would happen at the finish.

But I couldn't think like that. I had to believe in this, believe it would work; otherwise I would turn a coward and run for the hills. I could not do that. I was the necessary factor for this plan – and that was not me being cocky or arrogant.

Edward did not seem suspicious; the only curiosity he had shown was when I first tried to refuse him going to the party. "I may want to get drunk. It is a human experience I believe necessary," he had cringed at that. "I haven't even glanced at a bottle and you're opposed. Maybe you should not go; they don't play any classical music."

It all worked out though. Now I was driving to La Push, to give them the run down. Crunch time was approaching very fast now, I would give them all the information they needed and hope they wouldn't cross paths with Edward. I was going to call Alice later – once I was sure of what the wolves were doing. There was no need to have the two species on too close if it were not necessary. Necessary, that seemed the defining word of this plan, necessary.

Jacob was not outside waiting for me, even when I was sure he would have heard the monstrous roar of my truck. I frowned, was he sleeping?

I let myself inside the Black's home; they never locked the doors anyway. What I found inside was both inspiring and heart-warming.

At first I thought Jacob had not gone outside to greet me because he was angry and felt betrayed. I thought I would find him in here, without a care for me and what I wanted – at least outwardly – and only caring about killing vampires. I was sure I would see that expressionless face, those cold black eyes glaring at me.

I did not see those things.

Instead I saw Jacob, silent laughter on his face, and tears in his eyes, as he watched his previously crippled father stand on wobbly legs.

Billy Black had not walked for years; he could barely stand without the support of his son whose shoulder supported his weight from grasping hands. But he did stand, and he moved, moved the legs and the muscles responded. Billy's arms were strong, and Jacob could support ten times his father's weight so he was not close to falling. There was no grimace of pain on Billy's face, just elation and gratitude.

Those amazed black eyes turned to me – both pairs – when I coughed at the entrance of the room. The furniture had been pushed to the side to make way for the two men as they walked the length area. I wonder how many times they had done this today.

"Bella," Billy whispered, tears shone in his eyes too, dried and wet streaks covered his face, glistening from the salt crystals. In that declaration of my name I heard all I needed, all his happiness, all his relief, all his thankfulness. It made me feel good about myself; even if I had only healed Billy to gain his son's favour after announcing I was marrying his rival.

"You're welcome," I said, smiling widely.

Billy turned his gaze back to his son. "We've been at this all day, Jake. I'm tired, you go off with Bella."

"Okay Dad, get some rest, eat some protein, we want to build up those muscles." Jacob poked the man's scrawny legs. Billy pretended it hurt.

Jacob walked over to me, expression solemn. My heart peaked for a second – he was still mad at me!

Then he crushed me into a hug, and I mean literally crushed me. My breath whooshed out in a gust across his face, over the tearstains, blowing at his shaggy hair. "Thank you Bella," he whispered fiercely, gripping me tightly. "Thank you so much. I – I don't know how to repay…"

I stopped him short. "You never need to repay me, for anything. I still owe you… so much I owe you. Every second you spend with me while I am with Edward I owe you. Every time you hurt I owe you. Every time I go back to Edward I owe you. Every time you let me come back to you, allow me in your arms, I owe you. Never try to repay – everything you do for me is a given, even living."

I was glad Billy wasn't there for my speech. Jake's father was still adamant I would come to my senses soon enough and pick his son. That would not happen, not unless something happened to Edward.

Jacob released me after my speech, bending down to look me eye to eye, to grasp my face in his hands. "Bella, everything you've done to me, everything that has happened, it is worth it to spend my time with you. You think you owe me, than be with me! I don't care if you run back to him as soon as you're finished with me. I know you love him, Bella, more than me, but I am happy with any part of you I can have. Even if it's just the foot," he laughed half-heartedly, the joke was more sad than humoured.

"You have more than my foot," I promised him, serious despite the words I said. "But it's not enough, and you may be happy with what you get, but you are not the only one in this relationship. I hate that I am hurting you, but every moment with you hurts him. You hate him, you probably like that he is suffering, but I love him as well as you, and hurting any of you is like hurting myself." I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. I became aware of how my face was twisted with emotion, how tears had leaked through my eyes. My defences were down. "Gosh, I'm such a sap aren't I?"

"No, you're human," Jacob said as if that were all the explanation I needed. I guess, in a way, it was.

I leaned into his arms for a little while, just revelling in the fact that for a moment, everything seemed fine, seemed okay. Outside there was no rain, the air was moderately warm, birds were chirping happily off in the distance of the forest. Jacob was okay, was happy enough, and I was guilt-free.

Of course the weight on my shoulders couldn't float up in space for long; soon it came crashing down, with crushing force. I had wasted time, precious time. Because truly as much as I had to be sure this plan would work there was the possibility it wouldn't and I needed to get back to Edward, spend as much time with my vampire as I could before this all happened and it could be too late. The thought of dying was crushing – it could not happen – it would not. Even if I was mortally wounded I would survive, Alice and Jasper and Emmett were there, and at least one could change me.

"There is a reason I came today Jacob – get the team ready."

I needed to say nought more for him to recognise the situation. He made a call to Sam – who in turn got all the other selected wolves. We met down at the beach – where no others patrolled for two reasons. One was that it was so open they'd be seen – two was that they did not expect attack from sea, and were unlikely to be able to defend it if there was one.

They were all quiet and serious, assembled as we arrived. Even Quil and Embry, almost always excited and happy, looked sober at the sight of me. Was I releasing some kind of pheromone – I hoped not, it would most likely be nervousness as much as I tried to hide it from myself.

Sam didn't even try to take charge, he gestured for me to speak. I may have felt short or scared in a group of such large men – only Seth looked a boy and even he looked older than his years – but in this situation I was in charge. I felt inches taller than I was; my tone was even authoritive as I spoke.

I tried to say it as quickly as possible, and was surprised by how quickly it was all done. Everyone knew where they had to be, and when, and when they most certainly could NOT be there (I found that part more important). The wolves could not get their scent in the wrong places; neither could the Cullen's actually. I had scouted out the area completely. Edward had thought I was doing an assignment; he hadn't even looked at my computer screen. Of course I had done it when he wasn't there as well, what else was I to do in the mornings with nothing else to do.

Soon I was finished, and the pack members were leaving, broad russet shoulders and backs turned to me as they walked away. Only Jake stayed by my side, moving closer now he had no one to watch him, to tease him, not that the mood on the beach had been humorous enough for any jokes.

I leaned my head on his shoulder, sighing and closing my eyes, letting my emotions show now I didn't have to look hard, look strong and sure of myself and my plan. I let myself grimace a bit, pout, and took deeper and more erratic breaths.

"Bella, it will work! Don't be worrying – you'll only make yourself feel bad for nothing."

I sighed. "What if it doesn't work? What happens if I die tomorrow Jacob?"

"Nothing," Jacob growled fiercely, spinning me around so he could look down at me, into my eyes. "Nothing will happen because you will not die!"

I dropped my eyes to the ground; his fiercely protective and loving black eyes were starting to bring back the guilt. I had to ignore the guilt, cage it, until a date where I could worry about it without dire consequences.

"You know if you're worried about dying and missing out on things, I'd be happy to offer you my services." Jacob waggled his eyebrows when I looked back up, shocked again. He even had the nerve to pinch my butt. It was slightly comforting; I knew he was confident enough to joke about things like this. That was the only reason I didn't slap him – even Edward could rarely get away with pinching my butt.

Aw, Edward. Images and thoughts of my vampire boyfriend flooded my mind, the guilt that normally came with thoughts of my vampire when I was with his enemy were being held behind a barrier. Still, I wanted to be with him, especially knowing what would and could happen tomorrow. I was betraying him, whether or not I was hurt tomorrow.

"Jacob, I have to leave."

"But you just got here!" Jacob looked slightly panicked, hands hovering over my arms.

"I have to go, I'm sorry Jacob, but there is something I have to do about the plan." What? I did have things to do with the plan, I still had to call Alice about Emmett, which I should probably do now while still at La Push and safe from his range. I didn't have to tell Jake that the other things I had to do in Forks were about Edward. It did concern the plan, if the plan failed; I had to spend every second I possibly could with Edward.

"Okay," Jacob nodded, sad, but not hurt or pained like he would be if I told him I was going to spend the time with Edward. He must know I would be with Edward eventually, but he didn't need to know the reason I was leaving him early was to be with the 'bloodsucker'.

"I just have to call someone first," I told him, bringing out my cell.

It didn't take long to tell Alice, Emmett and Jasper. I really only told Alice, the other two heard and she relayed their comments. It took even less time to explain their roles than it did to the pack. Jacob listened all the while, and I didn't care. Edward should not cross paths with him.

After Alice I called Carlisle, careful of my words so as not to rouse the doctor's suspicion.

"Hey Carlisle, its Bella," I said after he answered his phone.

"Bella," Carlisle's voice was less musical over the phone, but still happy and smooth sounding, with that amazing calm, gentleness and compassion his voice always had hints of. "Is there anything you need, it is not often I get to hear your voice in the day. I'm still at the hospital."

"I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you. I just had a thought. I know how Edward always feels when I'm away from him, he always worries, and I'm worrying myself because I know he's going to waste his night tomorrow tailing and watching me. I know he's been thirsty lately, or he would be thirsty if I hadn't taken his thirst – his eyes are brown."

"You want me to take him hunting," Carlisle guessed, a hint of amusement in his voice. He thought it odd sometimes that I wished his family to be comfortable, that I cared even about their minor discomfits.

"Yes, but not just hunting Carlisle, I want you to make him have fun, make him forget his worries for a little while. When is the last time you too had a really good time together – father and son or close to that?"

Carlisle exhaled a gust into the phone; I could imagine him pursing his lips. "Well, it's been a long time."

"Then it's about time for another. By the way, if he's there can you tell him I'll be home soon?"

There was a crackling as the phone was handed over. "Be fast," his velvety voice almost growled.

I hung up the phone, already walking back to the truck.

I gave Jacob a big hug goodbye, he kissed my cheek – I felt obliged to return the favour. He grinned widely at that, waving widely when I left with the silly grin still on his face. Then he returned to his newly mobile father inside, a muscled broad back in my reverse view mirror.

Edward was waiting when I was home, and gave me a hug when I jumped out of the car and jogged to him. "You want to smell like dog?" I asked, confused.

"No, I just want to hold my fiancée."

I smiled softly before looking around for any peeking faces. "Hey, don't say that too loudly – Charlie is going to hear this from me not one of the snoopy neighbours," I whispered.

"I'm sure they'll be very happy you refer to them as snoopy," Edward grinned, taking my hand.

"What? They do snoop – they have to find something to talk about in a place like this."

"Okay, I will reign in my exuberance," Edward promised, pulling me to his side and kissing my hair. "Do you wish to tell your father today?"

"No," I answered a little too quickly. Edward looked at me quizzically, and a little hurt at my response. "No, I don't mean that I don't want to tell him, I mean I don't want to tell him today. If he knows you've proposed he's going to be suspicious of your intentions." It was a kinder way than saying he thought Edward just wanted to get into my pants and this marriage was an excuse for free entry.

"Ah, yes," Edward nodded, understanding. He opened the door for me, the key to the house already in his hand.

"Plus, today I have no assignments that need doing, homework that my teacher's are too scared to check for fear of my father, and no tests I need studying for. I want you in my room, and I would prefer not to have an overly suspicious father watching you're every move – well, while he's aware you're here watching your moves."

A little frown had formed on Edward's perfect face. "When will you stop arguing this, we are not going to be together that way until we are married."

I groaned but said nothing, not until we were in my room. I led him gently to the bed, pulling him beside me. There we kissed him softly, slowly and for a long time, building desire multiplying as the minutes flew by. He knew what I was trying to do, and every time I tried to harden the kiss, build it to something more, he stopped me, not forcefully, but enough that I postponed my endeavour for a few minutes.

Charlie was home sooner than I expected – and I was surprised at how much time had passed. It was not wasted time, Edward was happier, and his body felt more responsive – similar to when he had just fed but at a minor scale. I had linked that feeling in my mind to how I was when I had just kissed Edward with all my nerves tingling and my heart racing.

I had also spent the time studying Edward's body – for two reasons, the first was rather crude – I was trying to find ways to make him give in tonight, the second was cruel as I was trying to find a vampire's weakness, in case I had to hold off Victoria tomorrow.

I found little – vampires were pretty impenetrable with my gift – the most I could do was take over their bodies for a little while. I discovered weaknesses in humans would not apply to vampires. A vampire with its head ripped off may try to reassemble itself after the shock of the pain of separation left, so cutting a vampire's spinal cord or even brain was a temporary fix – the vampire would heal soon after I did the slicing.

Charlie was looking healthier than ever – his ideals of his job seemed closer to work to live than live to work now. He smiled when he saw me come down the stairs, and made a good long grumble about Edward. At his worst work-obsessed point Charlie had failed to notice Edward – now he made an effort to be rude to him and I found it comforting.

Charlie ate dinner, sent Edward home, and started watching TV. I showered and told Charlie I was tired, returning to my room and the vampire sitting silently inside it.

I forced myself to remember this site, the magnificence of him – the burning dark gaze of his now dark brown eyes, the way the moonlight cast stark shadows on the recesses of his sharp, angular face, the way he almost glowed in the moonlight, the way his long taut body hung over my bed, hard forearms peaking from under the sleeves of his shirt.

I did not smile either, instead slightly enjoying his hungry gaze as his eyes travelled up and down my body, sheathed in a silk nightgown, or just barely sheathed. It was a gift from Alice, pale blue with white lace trimming, triangles of fabric covering my chest, a loose body showing the curves of my waist and splaying to skirt that just reached my thighs. Thin spaghetti straps only just held the piece on my body.

All this, and the first thing Edward said to me was, "I'm not sleeping with you."

I pouted, spinning slightly, the silk catching the gust if air and ballooning slightly as I swayed. I looked at him through my lashes.

"Charlie isn't even asleep yet," Edward's argument was ruined when downstairs I heard a loud yawn, and the sound from the TV was cut short. I grinned as I heard his heavy footfalls as he stumbled to his bedroom, and the sound of him closing the door. Edward shook his head, and I pouted harder, crawling onto the bed and over him. Charlie's soft snores were soon heard behind my closed door.

"Bella, no," Edward growled, but the affect was ruined by the fact I could feel the desire in his body.

"C'mon Edward, I won't bite… unless you like that."

Edward growled, pushing me off him and in the same motion flipping me under him.

"If you wanted to be on top you should have just asked," I was teasing outwardly, but inside I could feel my heart thrumming, my body warming, especially at the areas his body touched.

"No," he growled, pushing at me lightly to emphasize the point.

I hitched my leg around his waist – he pushed it pack to the bed.

"Don't you find me attractive, Edward? Am I ugly to you?" I asked, pretending to be hurt.

"Bella, you are too beautiful for your own good. Now please, it is hard enough to resist you, stop being so determined to get my clothes off."

I huffed, jaw clenching as I closed my eyes. Edward took this as a sign of my submission, of admitting defeat. It was not, it was a sign I was about to go all out; use my newfound knowledge as my last resort.

I struck out with my power, but my intention this time was not to hurt, to control, to move. No, my intention was not that.

I touched the certain part of Edward's brain that controlled pleasure – the pleasure centre or reward circuit. Edward gasped and convulsed as I did it, eyes closing, sucking in breaths he did not need. I barely touched at it yet I could feel the effects on his body already – as well as see them.

"B-B-B-Bella," Edward eventually stuttered, opening his dark eyes. "W-what d-d-did you just do?"

I touched even more lightly at the area and Edward sucked in another breath, closing his eyes. "I can do more Edward, much more," I promised, hand travelling south from his chest.

Suddenly his was pinning me down to the bed, all but throwing my hands above my head and gripping at me wrists as his mouth attacked mine. I would have gasped had I the time or the air to do so, but then Edward was blowing his sweet breath into mine, battling my tongue with his own. I wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling the bulge in his pants and smiling. Had he finally given up?

Edward moved to hold both my wrists with just one hand, the other moving to roam over my silk covered stomach. I arched my back to meet his hand, pressing his cool fingers closer. I could not use my hands so I used my gift to create a pressure on his back, sweeping across his shoulders. I ground my hips against his crotch, feeling his body's response.

Then suddenly he was gone, across the room, breathing heavily like he needed the oxygen, hands braced against the wall, his broad back to me.

"Bella, not tonight," he said quietly, though this time it was a plead.

Hearing the beg in his voice struck inside me, struck to the core, and immediately I felt bad for what I had done, like I had kicked a puppy or along the like.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, looking down at my hands that were attacking each other's nervously. Was he going to leave, walk away from me this night in punishment?

He turned slowly, his eyes were darker than before, but his face was smooth, and he walked slowly back to me, lying back onto the bed.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, snuggling into his side.

"There is no need, I understand you are impatient," he teased, ruffling at my hair. It had gotten surprisingly knotted extremely quickly.

"I guess I am," I admitted quietly, kissing at his clothed chest.

"Guess?" he scoffed.

I slapped him softly, but snuggled closer to him, making myself comfortable. He pushed a pillow under my head, stroking my hair after.

"By the way," he said softly after a few minutes of quiet. I had closed my eyes and was close to sleep. "You're forgiven, just don't do it to me again – not until the honeymoon."

"You have my word," I promised sleepily, yawning. "But after we are married, you're fair game."

Edward chuckled, his chest vibrating under me, and then started to hum my lullaby. I fell asleep to the feeling of him stroking my shoulder, and kissing my forehead.


	21. Old Friends

**Hey guys, thanks for all the amazing reviews, and here is another chappie. But before that, I need to ask you guys something.**

**Do you want lemons in the Breaking Dawn of the series? **

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**Okay, here's the chapter.**

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><p>20. Old friends<p>

Edward left in the morning with a sweet kiss to my sleep-dreary form. I did not push myself upon him, I learned from last night. I had a whole new incentive to make sure this plan worked, I would have my night with Edward if it killed me – but most likely it would kill others.

I ditched school – it was sunny out so Edward actually had a real reason to go hunting, and I convinced most of the other senior class to ditch too. I hope the teachers wouldn't realize I planned this; they may once again turn on me. I hoped they were still scared enough of Charlie not to do anything.

Edward didn't really approve when I called him to tell of my vagrancy. He allowed it though, mostly on the terms that I promised I would have at least on werewolf or vampire with me at all times. Edward was just being cautious, barely any newspapers had reported on the disappearances in Seattle, and the fact that he was letting me go to the city also vouched on his ignorance. Edward didn't know there were vampires there, but he wanted someone with me just in case my bad luck decided to draw one in.

I was hoping may bad luck would draw in them all.

So I drove to La Push. I didn't like to think that my possible getaway car was my truck, so we were taking Jake's Rabbit instead. Plus, it would get us there faster, if not as fast as one of the Cullen cars. I couldn't use one of those; the Cullen's scent would ruin it. The idea was to surprise Victoria without numbers, not give her hints that I had almost the full arsenal. It would be hard enough with the fewer numbers, we needed an advantage.

The car ride was long and mostly quiet as we listened to Jacob's radio. I was trying to look for the big faults in my plan, trying to think up a last minute way to fix them. Jacob was quiet too, but I couldn't tell if it was because he was thinking or he wanted to give me time to think.

"How do you do it all?" Jacob asked suddenly – it had been a long time since he spoke. I guess he must have been thinking, because his brows were furrowed in confusion as he stared out onto the road.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Everything," he sighed, gripping the steering wheel tighter. "I mean, like with my Dad, with your hand, with Harry, with that vampire with the dreadlocks."

"Laurent," I corrected. I hadn't thought of him much lately, I wondered how he was doing – was he back on his vegetarian diet or not?

"Yeah, still, how do you do it?"

I pursed my lips, thinking of how to phrase it. I always assumed Jacob knew everything about my power – but I guess I hadn't really shared as much as I thought with him. "You know how Edward reads minds," Jacob nodded stiffly – an unconscious reaction to the mention of my fiancée. "When he was human, he was very good at understanding people, could guess things about them and such. He had his gift even when he was human, just weaker. This power is my gift."

"Okay, but what is it?"

"I don't know yet, it's kind of hard to define as of yet. I guess I could say I control bodies."

"You can control someone?' he gawked.

"No, but I can control their body kind of – it's purely physical, like cell by cell, and muscle, bone physical. I can't make someone think something. I can make them feel something though; trick the brain into thinking there is something on their backs. The brain is physical too, just exponentially more confusing and delicate than a muscle – it's like trying to stop and control a bunch of little electric sparks, like wiring – it's too difficult for me to do much with."

"So you could make someone think something if you were stronger."

"No, that's mental, not physical. I could possibly trick them into thinking they were dizzy or something, block the receptors in their mind, but that is all. I can't always control their bodies either – the smarter the organism the harder it is to control them, especially if they don't want me to control them. I could control you easily when you were unconscious and almost falling off the bed – I thought you'd be more comfortable with your head on a pillow. Now though, if I tell you what I'm about to do, I probably won't be able to do it – you're brain resists too much."

Jacob had listened intently, nodding as the events were all clicking in his head now. I didn't think I had been keeping him so in the dark, but I was glad he understood now. "Okay, shoot, try me."

"I'll try and lift your arm." Then I did it, and it started to rise for a second before Jacob frowned determined, holding it back down.

"See, I'm really weak with my power, I have to catch people by surprise. Who is going to expect their body to do something they don't want it to? Well, someone who doesn't have one of those terrible diseases probably won't."

"Do you use your gift on me often?"

"Not very often – it's always there, I can feel when you're tired, or when you tense, and when you move even if I can't see you. I could probably tell your body easier than someone else's; I'm so attuned to you, like I can tell your face from a crowd. I don't use my gift move or change things about you often – mostly when you've done something or about to do something stupid – like when I zapped you that time after you kissed me, also when you got angry at me I stopped you phasing."

"You can do that?" That seemed to surprise him the most, shock him, and scare him a little.

"Temporarily, and once again if you knew I was stopping you phasing, you could probably do it with a little effort."

Jacob was silent for a moment, thoughtful, one finger tapping at the finger wheel. "Do you think you could use it against the vampires?"

"I hope it isn't necessary, but if I needed to I'm sure I could. It may not be a great help though, especially not against Victoria. I think she knows what I can do, I used it against her once."

Jacob cringed at the memory; I had been bait for Victoria then as well. Things hadn't worked out with that one; I had survived but battered and bruised.

"This will work this time," I told him, half for his benefit, and half for myself. It would work, it had to.

888

I spent the day walking around Seattle – the idea was to spread my scent far and wide, so Victoria or one of her minions would recognise the scent. Jacob stayed at my side the whole time, in case one of the newborns attacked me. I knew Victoria was not stupid enough to attack me in public, and wouldn't in the out of sight areas without her army. She wouldn't underestimate me, much like I wouldn't underestimate her.

I didn't make it look like I was looking for her. I pretended I was just spending the day in Seattle, the only difference was that if I was spending the day in Seattle normally I would be making Jake look into the face of every female I passed.

Jake's eyes were only for me that day; he could barely disguise the protective aspect about him. Girls glared at me in jealousy when they saw him watching me, with me. He did not even try to disguise the love in his eyes. He even kissed me on the cheek, or the shoulder, or the arms. I noticed a lot of men quickly look away when they did that. I was a little grossed out, and found myself subconsciously groping for the knife that used to so often live at my belt.

I wanted that knife, even my gun, that day often. I knew Jacob was probably better protection; in fact my gift probably was, but still.

I did not just browse the malls, parks, shops, or general public areas. I did browse though; I even bought a few things, mostly for tonight. I bought a shirt to go out in tonight, shoes, and a coat. It was very cold that day, the sky overhead was blackening and the air was scarily still and warm. Jacob told me a storm was on the way – I wished Alice had warned me, I didn't have the money to buy anything more to ready myself for bad weather.

I even charmed a guy to give me an umbrella – Jacob may have helped by the way he stood just off behind me, flexing his muscles while feigning nonchalance. I couldn't see him, only feel him, but I guessed his eyes were burning black by the way the guys eyes flickered from me to over my shoulder, his smile a little wavering. Maybe Jacob convinced him more than me now that I think about it.

I travelled all around the city, making sure not to show I was going out of the way when I made my special visits – this was when I wanted my dagger.

I met a lot of people in my dark days, the wrong people to know, but helpful in this situation. They were the kind of people Charlie would die to hear I know. Most of them I met in the clubs, whether I was giving them a service or gambling with them. The only one who knew me strictly from business was the one who gave me the fake ID in my wallet.

I talked to him first. Jacob looked old enough to not need a fake ID, but I wanted to give him one, just in case. I didn't know what could happen tonight, he needed the papers.

The man was good at what he did, weasel-like and charged a lot. I didn't bother to remember his name, only his contact details by which I knew where he was. He moved so often in this city so as to make sure he was never found by the authorities.

He gawked when he saw me walk into the dingy apartment, recognition and fear just visible in his grey eyes. He left the door open for custom, but the gun on his desk was security enough, especially because I knew he had good hearing, and had another gun aimed at me under the table. I could not see the gun; I could feel it in his hand. I didn't realize what danger I had been in the first time I had seen him. The gun on the table was for show, a rifle – no police would arrest him for that weapon, he could be a hunter.

Jacob didn't know about the gun under the table, he just stiffened and tensed from the atmosphere, the poorly lit room, the lamp illuminating the man's empty work desk. Weed smoke fogged the room, and it stank.

The man had long hair, greasy, and crooked yellow teeth. He gambled, another contact told me this, which is why his coat was dirty and ripped, why he looked so bad. He must have gambled a heap for the amount I had to pay for Jake.

Jacob himself didn't know why I had walked in until I snapped at the man. "I want an ID for him; it will be ready by this afternoon."

Jacob's eyes widened at my change of personality. For those minutes I was who I had been when Edward was away, an imposing, angry and slightly dangerous woman it was foolish to mess with. The fact I had a buffed out guy who had to duck to get through most doorways only emphasized this image.

The man gulped, fetching the papers Jake needed to fill. I gestured for him to follow the small man; I had to repeat the motion as Jacob's eyes had zeroed in on the hand gun previously hidden from his sight.

We left after Jacob filled the papers, I repeated that it needed to be done in a few hours, it was only nine, and he could get it done.

Jacob rounded on me when we were alone in an alley a few streets from the unit. He slammed his hands into the wall either side of me, face so close to mine I could feel the hot breath snorting out of his nostrils. "What the heck was that?" he demanded, moving a hand to point at the way we had come.

I straightened up, raising my chin and flexing my jaw. I glared into his eyes. "That is a man who is going to give you documents proclaiming you are twenty-three."

"How the heck do you know about a guy like that?"

"I think half the teenager's in this country have fake IDs," the words were meant to be reassuring, but my voice still had that edge, that tone of the girl I had been.

"That wasn't some normal guy, he had a gun. He made my hackles rise, and I swear I smelt weed! There was gunpowder in there; he had shot that gun recently. Didn't you see the bullet holes?"

"No, I didn't. If you inspect his place to too closely he will probably shoot that gun again."

Jacob was still glaring down at me, and bent even closer. He was tense all over, not about to phase, but angry at me surely. "You are avoiding the question. Damn it, I don't ask much, tell me how the fuck you know that guy!"

I took a slow breath, rolling my shoulders and looking up at him fiercely. "Do not ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. Just know I met people last year, and we'll be meeting more tonight. Try not to bite one, bullets may not kill you but they might me."

Jacob just gawked, and I took the opportunity to duck out from under his arm. I waited at the end of the alley, hands on my hips. "C'mon," I said, completely changing into the normal me, smiling widely. "I need some get some underwear, I'll let you see them if you come."

I had been joking, but Jacob was still sombre when he joined me. "I know you don't need any, please don't bribe me."

I gasped, feigning shock before smiling. "Have you been going through my purse Jacob Black?"

"No, but you're red panties were sticking out when you took you're purse out," he grinned a little, and my Jacob was back.

Jacob was more prepared when we visited the next people, partly because I told him we were seeing some more of my 'old friends' and partly because he already knew a little of what to expect.

Mr Baker and Mr Turner were very surprised to see me, but seemed equally happy. No, not happy, their grins did not equate to happiness, the lust in their eyes did not.

I found the two at their hotel room, the two were kind of business partners of sorts, but despite that their room was one of the largest possible in Seattle, plenty of bedrooms, richly furnished, inside pools, the lot. The two were smoking, Mr Baker had a scotch in the other hand, and Mr Turner had a whisky on the table.

"You are not the two we were expecting. When I told Nancy to let a woman with brown hair and a large man up I thought there would be no similar visitors to us. I may have to be more specific," Mr Baker always talked too much.

Mr Turner glared at him for revealing the information he did. Then he turned back to me and Jacob, quickly assessing Jake before smiling at me. "Why may I ask do we have to pleasure of your company today? I trust all the money has been paid back to you; it has been a fair while since I've seen you at the tables."

Jacob frowned at me questioningly; I shook my head at him. I knew I would rarely deal with these two ever again, but they needn't think me weak, or know too much about my situation. "No, the money has been paid, I just need a favour."

They both smiled as they raised their eyebrows. Mr Turner tilted his head. "What exactly is it that you ask?"

"If there are any police calls over at Allan's Chipping for a fire, do you think you could delay the response – you know, just by about half an hour or so?" I smiled to the side.

"Oh, little Lexi getting into trouble now? How do you intend to pay for this service? Neither of us has seen one of your so often talked of dances, but where is your dagger?"Mr Baker jeered.

I could feel how tense Jake was beside me. I was mildly disgusted myself; I had no idea what he felt.

"I do not dance without my knife. Is money okay?"

"Ah Lexi, for the pleasure of your company this fine morning, we shall perform this for free. We are though expecting a very important visitor, so as much as I would love to have a drink with you and you're large friend, regrettably I will have to ask your leave."

I nodded, smiling, "Until another time gentlemen."

Jacob did not speak until we were far from the skyscraper. This time he did not yell at me, just spoke calmly and quietly as we passed through a quiet street. "What did they mean by dance? How do you know those men?"

"I gambled with them often, large quantities in fact. I won the last time I saw them, though I had handed them my money before enough that they still gained money from me rather than being out of pocket themselves." I chose not to answer the dancing part.

Jacob frowned at me but did not ask further. He seemed to be brooding while I chose the warmest jacket I could find that was cheap enough to throw away. I shivered even inside the heated store, it was becoming freezing outside.

The last meeting shocked Jacob the most, and that was likely because of the item or items I bought.

Travis Bawdy's 'office' was the hardest of the three to get to, especially because I had never been there before, only heard about it and gotten directions. I guessed his business was the most illegitimate. Jacob followed quietly as I led him to the subway, and even quieter as I slipped down into the tunnel. His eyes were flickering in the dark, and I was sure he was listening for the train he was sure would run us over.

"Second turn to the right, third door to the left, right then," I whispered, the words were repeating like a mantra in my head. I didn't worry about the trains; with Jacob's ears he would hear it five minutes before it was even visible.

I hurried quickly, squinting in the dark just barely illuminated by the small lights in the tunnels. My shadows stretched strangely on the slightly curved walls. My sneakers splashed in the puddles at my feet. It reminded me of the time in Volterra, I cringed at the memory.

"What is it, Bella?" Jacob asked, concerned when he saw the expression on my face. His voice was extremely loud in the tunnel, even though he whispered.

I put my finger to my lips, smiling encouragingly, and turning back to the tunnel, walking it, taking the turns carefully.

Soon enough we were at the door in the side of the tunnel that led to Travis's place. It was labelled, "Staff only," but the sticker was curling at the edges, like it was rarely used.

I pushed against the door, and was sickened by the smell inside – it smelt like diesel. Jacob's noise crinkled even more than mine. I could taste the fuel in my mouth as I breathed in, my nose seemed to have clogged itself and refused to be used for respiration.

I tuned right, and was met by another door. I knocked.

Travis opened the door a small amount, peeking around the edge of the door. At the sight of me he smiled, opening the door widely.

He looked the same as the last time I saw him. He was a large man, taller than Edward though not as tall as Jacob. He was African-American, muscular – still not as much as Jacob – with a broad nose and wide mouth. His head was shaved like usual, and he wore a grease-stained white tank top that strained around his bulk as well as loose track pants over his sneakers. He was in his late twenties, and very arrogant about his body.

He grinned down at me, openly looking down my shirt, dark eyes burning with lust. "Hi there Lexi, finally realized you want some more?"

I felt like zipping up my jacket. I could feel Jacob about to run at Travis, feel his burning gaze from behind me. I turned around, mouthing, "Just go with it."

Only then did Travis notice my company. He sized up Jacob, confident and cocky in himself – Jake was bigger, but Travis had been in the army. "I don't do threesomes," Travis said when he was done.

A low growling emanated from Jacob. I poked him in the ribs with my gift, turning back to Travis and smiling, leaning to give him a better view at my exposed breasts. "I didn't come for that. Are you going to let us in? I'm freezing my ass off out here."

"I wouldn't want such a pretty thing to go to waste," Travis grinned, raising his arm so I could duck through.

There was a tense moment as Jacob stepped towards Travis. Jacob was now very noticeably bigger in the doorway, about four inches taller and probably the same in width of his shoulders. Travis dropped his arm, sneering up at Jacob and blocking his path. "And who are you?"

Jacob smiled down at him, exposing bright sharp teeth. His smile was threatening, like a wolf bearing its teeth. "You don't need to know," he said huskily, voice deep.

Travis turned to me, outwardly confident; though I could feel the hairs rise on his arms, feel his muscles tense. I raised an eyebrow, crossing my arms, impatient. I could almost smell the fear from him; Jacob probably could too, as he was grinning down at him. Jacob pushed past him to come inside, having to duck under the doorframe.

"What is it you did want then?" Travis asked, gulping as he stepped inside.

"Explosives, I hear you're the best in the city. I want something inconspicuous that I can light." I brought out my lighter for emphasis, playing with the flame. Jacob's face was emotionless, he wasn't aware of this part of the plan.

Travis grinned, ignoring the threat of Jacob now. He liked this work, not just for the money. War had messed him up a little, I was glad Jake was here, those lusting eyes hinted at a danger I didn't want to contemplate. My virginity was for Edward, not to be taken away by some overly muscled man in the underworld.

I didn't get too much; I just needed enough for the building. Allan's Chipping had been bankrupt for months, it would not affect anyone more than a bad smell in surrounding areas which were rarely used anyway.

I left happily, having persuaded Travis to give me the items for a lower price (that pleasure spot with a stroke of his arm).

It literally was freezing when we got outside in the open. It was snowing, the wind was howling through the city, and any people we could see were holding broken umbrellas and running for cover.

Jacob wrapped his arms around me, and we too hurried to where we were to meet the Forks High students. His warmth was more than welcome, and I pressed myself tightly to him. He didn't question me this time.

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><p><strong>See, what Alexis did in New Moon was neccessary fro other reasons, not just to gross you guys out.<strong>

**Once again, I'll remind you of the importance of you telling me whether or not you want lemons in Breaking Dawn. Tell me in a review, because then I can count if people definitely want citrus or do not.**

**REVIEW YOUR ANSWER PLEASE!**

***Edit* Oh yeah, sorry guys I forgot to say there is an Edward POV for the chapter, so review your answer and I'll send you the treat.**


	22. Disgusting

**Okay guys, I'm guessing, just guessing that you guys do want citrus? There was, as far as I can tell, no one refusing. The only thing was one user didn't comment on the question. **

**I was surprised by how many people who reviewed last chapter, many I'd never heard from before. Thanks guys, I love your reviews to death, even if they were only answering my question.**

**Okay, enough A/N up here, I'm going to continue down the bottom though.**

**WARNING: Just before you read, this chapter is very aptly named. It has some mature content which isn't that pretty.**

**Read on if you dare!**

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><p>21. Disgusting<p>

"GOD, IT IS FREEZING," Jessica squealed, rubbing at her arms.

She and most of the girls had come in cocktail dresses, and were now cold for it. We were all in a nightclub, its heater straining to beat the cold. Most of the guys were out on the dance floor, trying to show off their moves, warming up by dancing.

The girls were sitting at one of the tables, drinking the alcohol I had bought them with my fake ID. They would pay me back at school.

I planned to get them drunk, or distracted enough that Jacob and I could slip away soon. It was working; most of the girls and guys were tipsy already. Quil was pretending to be drunk so he could act crazy out on the dance floor and shoulder barge the Forks guys as much as possible. Embry was sitting with us, Jessica and Lauren on either side of him, snuggling against his chest. He was grinning widely at the attention of the two girls.

"How are you so warm?" Lauren asked, almost cooing, rubbing her hands up his chest. If Tyler wasn't busy trying to grind on the group of blonde 20 year olds in the corner he may have been jealous.

"I'm just so good-looking that I'm hot in any climate."

Jacob and I both shook our heads at him at the same time. Embry really was silly, and the funnier thing was that because of their slightly drunk state all the girls laughed and giggled like he was the most hilarious and most charming man alive.

It would be hard to extricate him from the group there. I bought the girls another drink, downed one myself for what I was about to do, and invited everyone out onto the dance floor.

They all but ran, dragging Embry who was now blushing slightly. He and Jake's heads' were above everyone else's; you could pick them out easily. Quil was shorter, but you could tell where he was by the parts of the crowd falling or stumbling like dominoes.

The girls tried to all dance with Embry at one, pressing up against him. I giggled at him.

"Bella," Jacob's whisper in my ear was deep and husky, and sent a shiver through me. I jumped a little in fright. Sure, I recognised his voice, but I was a little jumpy that night. I needed more to drink – some shots would be good.

"Hm?" he seemed to want a reply to show I'd heard him.

"Bella, you aren't dancing. C'mon, dance with me, dance for me, and show me what those people were talking about today."

I giggled, closing my eyes. "After a few more drinks maybe Jake."

"C'mon, you showed some strangers, why don't you show me? Is it embarrassing?"

I guessed I could show him then, it wasn't like my dances were that bad – the minor ones weren't anyway. Most of the appeal had been the fact I was in crazy costumes that showed most of my body – the raunchiest dances were not done on a floor, a pole more like. I grimaced at the memory.

I would get over this; I needed to put it behind me. So I shoved Jacob away, further into the mass of milling bodies, and followed him, after grabbing one of the untouched drinks on the table, not even tasting it as I skulled it, feeling the burn and the lightness that followed that I needed.

I showed Jacob a dance, closing my eyes and letting my body flow with the music. What I did couldn't have been much worse than how anyone else was dancing, I just did it to the beat whereas they were determined to just thrust, gyrate, and jiggle.

Soon I was lost in the flow of the music, spinning, flowing, rolling my hips, swaying, and moving my hands up to the air and down, over my body, and across. It was like a mix of belly-dancing with hip-hop. I span and dropped, and snapped and popped, and span again, swaying my hips, rolling my stomach, and letting my chest and arms follow and do what they liked.

I opened my eyes to see many of the guys watching me, those I knew and those I didn't, sweat touched their brows and some touched their own pants. Then I felt a guy come up behind me, started to grind on my butt. I felt his erection through his jeans.

I rounded on him, unconsciously reaching for the dagger that wasn't there. I found the guy behind me to be mid twenties, and smirking down at me. "Hey baby, want to come to my place? You can do one of those dances for me there." The guy was actually pretty attractive, and on anyone else the line could have worked.

On me it only made me bitchier. "Or, oooooorrrrr – you could go dance for yourself with your vibrator." I smiled sweetly at him, and then turned, walking away.

Jacob found me quickly, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I heard what that guy said, I'm sorry I was in the bathroom."

"It's okay, I just wish he had done something worse so I could punch him, I need something to bash right now – something that will get hurt. That's the bad thing about being around the supernatural; I feel like a butterfly trying to attack a wall."

"Good analogy," he laughed, I elbowed him, and growled as it hurt my elbow. He laughed breathlessly; I had winded him at least.

"We should go soon, get Quil and Embry."

"'Kay," Jacob went off, and I sighed, returning to our table, downing another untouched drink. I shouldn't be drinking right now, but I needed it, needed something to calm me down. I wouldn't get drunk on three drinks, my senses may be slightly dulled, but it will go by the time Victoria finds me... hopefully.

Quil and Embry drove their own car two the agreed meeting place – City Palace. It was a very well secured, very popular, very public casino. The pack could be there without worrying about any of the newborns being nearby. They would never go to a place like this – far too many cameras, far too many humans, far too much temptation. Even Victoria wouldn't go there; it was like a milling crowd in the lobby, a continuous stream of people. Alice, Emmett and Jasper were already at their designated locations, she had texted me when she had arrived about an hour ago. Jasper also texted me at his arrival, soon after his wife's, and Emmett had texted a few minutes ago.

It was two minutes to ten, and I could see the members of the pack trying to push towards us through the crowd.

We barely spoke when they arrived. "Everyone know what they're going to do?" I asked. They all nodded. "Good, let's go, Seth, come with me and Jacob."

The Rabbit was crowded with the two wolves, but we managed to get to Springburn Office's. The building was a pretty good example of urban decay – too far out from, the CBD for anyone to want to use. Vandals had smashed in some of the windows and graffiti could be seen inside.

Most of the neighbourhood around was empty or inhabited by street bums. A few of the shadier people conducted business here, but right now there was barely anyone about, just how I had planned.

Seth knew what to do; I didn't even need to get out of the car. That was good; I didn't need to rouse suspicion around here with my scent. I wouldn't want anyone to find Seth.

Jacob and I drove back to the city, and then kind of just circled around for a while. We didn't need to go anywhere; I just needed to make a trail to Allan's chipping. We ended up go to the train station, and took the one closest to it. Then I braved the cold, Jacob holding me, and we hurried to the centre.

"So what was the reason for this again," Jake asked so quietly I barely heard it, even with his lips at my ear.

I giggled, wrapping my arms around his waist, and kissing his cheek. "I wanted to be alone with you – this place is pretty empty." I didn't bother to whisper this, if any of Victoria's minions were around this would only explain what I was doing, they would be less suspicious of attack.

Jacob couldn't help but smiling cockily at my voice, my actions. He knew it was fake, it didn't mean he couldn't enjoy it. I knew this would probably hurt him later, but I let him have the moment – too soon I would be leaving him.

Plus, it was freezing and I needed him beside me if I wanted to keep my toes, no joke.

It barely took a moment to get into the abandoned factory – the locks on the fence and door were easy to pick. Jacob frowned when he saw how easily I managed to do it.

Inside the warehouse looked very big, maybe that was just because it was very bare – all the machinery had been taken away when the company went bankrupt, you could see the areas where the biggest machinery had been, they were squares and rectangles of unstained concrete. The ground under my feet was covered in black streaks of grease stains and chips of wood and saw dust were everywhere, despite the piles of chips at the edges of the room where they had tried to sweep the chips to the side.

It was very cold inside, but I was happy to be out of the wind and rain. My teeth were chattering in the few moments Jacob moved away from me as he inspected the building.

"This place is massive, Bella! Are you sure it wasn't an airport hangar?"

I giggled slightly past my bodies convulsions, and ran to him, jumping up on him and wrapping my legs around his waist, pinning myself as close as humanly possible. I was immediately warmer – he was like a hot chocolate or a coffee. "Now I just need two of you," I whispered. "My back's cold."

Jacob laughed, bringing his arms around me. They were beautifully warm, heating my back; his hands were so big they managed to cover most of it. Jacob grinned for a moment and one hand dropped to my butt. I only sighed. "If my butt wasn't cold as well I would yell at you right now."

Jacob grinned and squeezed. I gasped and pulled back, dropping to the floor, "Now that, that is not cool!"

"You're right; it's hot – like me."

"Lame," I shook my head while he laughed at his own joke.

"Okay, seriously now. We're alone, and I need to ask you a question." Jacob seemed serious now, all the traces of laughter had left his face, leaving worry and curiosity and a touch of fear. That expression didn't sit well with me, but at least it wasn't a betrayed expression.

"If it is in anyway sexual I am not listening!" I warned. I stepped back a little and regretted it, wishing I wouldn't look so stupid if I did step towards him again. I stayed in my spot, crossing my arms and rubbing them lightly – the coat I bought today wasn't helping much.

"Bella, what happened to you? You can a pick a lock like tying a shoelace, you can lie and act so well you could tell me the sky was purple and I'd believe you, and you seem to know all the underground here. You know someone who makes explosives for goodness sake. Did you have a rough childhood or something? Or did this," he gestured up and down my body, "happen when you're vampire left."

I sighed, crouching to swipe away the sawdust and wood chips on the concrete.

"You're avoiding the question," Jake said, crouching beside me and helping me clear a space on the ground large enough for the both of us to lie on.

"I'm not; I just don't think you want to know." Jacob crossed his arms at that, we had cleaned the area. I didn't have anything else to do.

"You're doing that thing again," Jacob commented.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"When you're trying to hide something you go completely blank – like you're sleeping with your eyes open. I can't tell anything about what you're thinking, it's like you're a zombie... it's scary."

I breathed deeply, feeling my face from inside out. Was it really blank all the time? I guess that was how I coped with overly emotional times when I was a child and could not express them. My previous parents (I hadn't thought of them for so long) hadn't been good to me, I had to pretend everyday in front of the cameras, in front of them. They used my emotions to their advantage, so I ended up hiding those emotions from them, from everyone.

"Both," I answered his first question. I didn't elaborate on the childhood thing, only when Edward had left. "Mostly this has all happened lately."

"What did you do earlier this year?" Jacob asked softly, sitting down and pulling me close to him, stroking my arm comfortingly. "Were you a drug dealer or something?"

"I needed money, Jacob. I was searching for Edward; trying to track him down... it wasn't cheap. I did what I had to do for the money."

Jacob swallowed; I felt his heart-beat hasten with my ear against his chest. "Have you ever... killed someone?"

I smiled softly, sadly, "No, that I didn't do."

"What d..."

"You don't want to know," I stopped his question. "Just know I'm not proud of it, and I would prefer if no one else knew about this. You know, if you can keep it a secret. That's also why I'm not going to tell you anymore – you don't need to know, the pack doesn't need to know, Edward definitely doesn't need to know." I was looking up at Jacob know, pleading with my eyes.

Jacob nodded, holding me tighter to him. I closed my eyes, leaning back. "You should get some sleep; you'll need all your energy for tonight." I rolled over onto my stomach, lying half on Jacob.

"That sounds... interesting."

I opened my eyes, confused, then I saw his eyebrows waggling, and remembered what I had said, how he could interpret it. I slapped him.

"You know it would help me fight. Anabolic Steroids mimic a male sex hormone; they make athletes better, so it goes to say having sex before a battle would make me a better fighter. There doesn't even need to be foreplay if you don't want it."

"You're disgusting," I pulled a little away from him, my body reluctant – it was cold in the warehouse.

"Or we can have foreplay; you can do another of those dances for me, or a lap dance. Though you are a virgin, you probably wouldn't be any good at it."

I growled, sitting up now, glaring down at him. "I would give you the best damn lap-dance you could ever have, and how the heck did you know I was a virgin."

"I know these things, I heard it somewhere, but we can change that tonight. You said you're so good - prove it."

"Fuck you," I growled, standing and walking away, rubbing at my arms as my body immediately broke out in goose bumps. I was angry now, why did he always have to turn everything this way?

"You promise?"

I let out a big huff, arms dropping to my sides, hands in fists. I spun, glaring with all I had at him. I stalked over to him, dropping to straddle his waist. "You want male-sex hormones?" I whispered harshly, glaring at him as I placed my hands on the area of exposed skin under his shirt riding up. I could feel the nerves tingling in his body. Did he not see me glaring? My anger spiked even more. "You got them," I yelled, doing what I had done to Edward yesterday, ten times harder.

Jacob's body responded instantaneously and harshly to my hold on his reward circuit. He hardened under me then came, hard, his body convulsing as he groaned loudly, jizzing into his pants. I was thrown off him in the process, and scurried out of the way of him.

It took at least a minute before he stopped moving, and then he was lying in an almost fetal position, gasping. Then he was quiet, frowning and swaying as he sat up, eyes slightly unfocused as they looked for me.

"What the... what was that?" Jacob asked, his voice was wavering and higher than usual.

"I told you before I can control bodies."

"Do it again!" Jacob smiled widely, laughing and elated.

I frowned, grimacing at him. "Once again, you're disgusting."

"Hey, you're the one who did it to me! How the heck did you know how to do that?"

He made it sound like I had blessed him. I barfed in my mouth a little bit. I turned around, hiding my blush from Jake. I had learned it for Edward, not for him. I was shivering uncontrollably now, sticking my hands under my shirt and under my armpits to try and warm up my numbing fingers.

The wind was howling outside against the walls, the glass windows were being belted with sleet.

"Bella, come over here, you're going to freeze." I ignored Jacob – whose voice had returned to normal. "Do you want to keep your toes?" he asked after it became apparent I was not listening.

I sighed; my toes were as numb as my fingers. I grumbled as I stalked back over to Jacob, muttering about disgusting hormone driven teenage boys as I lay beside him.

Jacob wouldn't have that, he lifted me up, pulling me close to him so my back was against his chest and we both lay on our sides. I grumbled but obliged, trying to keep up my angry attitude but losing it very quickly.

"Jeez Bella, you're freezing. Don't worry, I'll have you sweating in a few moments," he whispered beside my ear. It sent shivers down my spine which was pressed so tightly against him I could feel the planes of his chest under his shirt. His russet arms wrapped around me, massive hands covering my own in my lap. His long legs, sheathed in jeans, lay behind mine.

I rested my head on his of arms. I could feel him grinning as he rested his head on the floor, nuzzling his nose into my hair and taking a long draft. I frowned but didn't stir; it was so nice, so warm. I could feel myself slowly thawing, my breath was uneven from the cold – I had to believe it was that. My body was steadily warming – I had to believe it was only from Jake's body heat, not any other reason.

"You know, you'd warm up faster if you took you're clothes off." Jacob whispered again, warm breath smelling like wood and the forest. It blew a few strands of hairs into my face.

I grinned, needing to change the mood of the room. I moved my hands from his grasp to my jacket, starting to pull it off. I heard Jacob gulp, and he stiffened. I laughed, but did throw the jacket away. "Don't get too excited yet."

"Yet?" Jacob questioned.

I turned my head, seeing his eyebrow raised and him grinning suggestively. I ignored the way his cocky smile made my heart race, the way his jaw was so strong, and his shoulders so wide around me. I ignored the long strands of hair, like black silk, spilling over his face. Well, I tried to ignore these things. "I assumed you would be excited for the coming event." I leaned in closer, placing my lips at his ear; he stiffened as they came into contact with his skin. "You get to kill some vampires," I whispered that so softly I couldn't even hear it.

Jacob grinned, this time his smile was feral – it was not attractive, thankfully. My heart-rate slowed a little.

"For once," he said, sadistically happy. He still wanted to kill the Cullens?

I huffed. "Get to sleep," I commanded, soon following my own orders. I only half slept though, too on edge to achieve full unconsciousness. Victoria would be here soon, I wouldn't be a sitting duck.

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><p><strong>Okay... I won't be commenting about the content of this chapter *shudders a little*<strong>

**What I do want to talk about is the Breaking Dawn of this series. So far it will have lemons - unless a bunch of people suddenly protest against this - but I really want to give it a name.**

**Here are some of my fav suggestions I've gotten**

**1. Ride down her Road**

**2. Choosing her path**

**3. Living her Happy ending**

**4. Making her decisions**

**So, you can either vote for one of these, or come up with some of your own. I really want a good title, and while I really like Ride down her Road, I think I can do better. I just need you guys to help with your amazing minds.**

**So let's all brainstorm and REVIEW!**

**Oh yeah, almost forgot, this chapter also has an Embry POV for it! Yeah, putting in some minor characters perspective. **


	23. Surprise

**Hey guys, thanks for all the reviews and names, I think I might choose Ride Down her Road, but I really liked all the other suggestions, so who knows? Maybe after Breaking Dawn there'll be another book (probably not though, I haven't worked on my own book in months)**

**So, this is the big chapter, the biggest one, the Victoria part, the climax if you will, even though it is short. I just needed to end it there.**

**So, READ ON!**

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><p>22. Surprise<p>

Jacob was snoring softly in my ear, my eyes were closed, thoughts raging in my half-dreaming state. I saw pictures of the plan going wrong, wolves and Cullens dying, my heart in Victoria's hand, dying slowly and painfully.

I woke every time Jake stirred and at every strange sound. So I woke when Jake moved in his sleep, groaning slightly. His nose was scrunched, eyes shut, and he was grimacing.

I moved immediately, spinning out of Jake's arms at the same time as seizing his body – my hand gripped one slackened arm tightly. I fumbled for the area that triggered the change, the place that started him phasing into a wolf. I had never switched it on before, only made sure it was off – now was different.

I jumped back as the flesh under my hand became larger and grew fur. I rolled on the ground, watching the wolf that was blinking – bleary eyed at me, head tilted. I heard a soft howl in the distance – Seth.

Then the wolf grimaced, its muzzle crumpled and it's nostrils flared widely. I could see his sharp teeth, white against his russet fur. They looked ready to bite as he ran to me, whirling around and snarling.

The warehouse was empty, and then suddenly Victoria was standing there, a tall newborn beside her. He was blonde, muscular, and looked around my age, and as all male vampires were, handsome, though his glowing red eyes were disconcerting – this had to be Riley. I could barely see this though, because my eyes were on two other factors, very big factors.

Victoria was standing behind him, smiling at me. The smile was vicious, her teeth ready to rip away my flesh. She had her hands at her sides, first claws then fists, clenching and relaxing in time with my heartbeat like she was imagining grabbing it. Her brilliant orange fire-like hair whipped around her face with the wind she had brought upon opening the warehouse's back door.

It was to that end that my eyes travelled next, because outside the warehouse, standing as still as statues, hair and clothes whipping in the gusting wind of the storm, was a mass of newborns. They were unaffected by the sleet pounding at them – their shining red eyes, brighter than Riley's – were all intent on me. Female or male, tall or short, wide or thin, all had their nostrils flared, looked at me like they starving and I was a feast.

Jacob growled threateningly as Victoria stepped forward, smiling widening. "Good morning Bella."

That's when my face fell, subconsciously hiding me fears. I took a deep breath, plastering a loving, smiling expression on my face, like I so often had to with my previous parents. "Victoria, you disturbed my sleep... that wasn't very nice."

Victoria's smile fell at my change, and then grew back. "You can't reason with me, I will kill you. You don't have you're little mate here to protect you. Or is he you're mate? You were fooling around with this _dog _before."

Jacob growled at her. "Oh yes," she giggled in her girlish voice, "I heard you, and I can smell it now." She grimaced at the pieces of fabric that were Jake's pants.

Riley smirked cruelly – I would have blushed if I wasn't so good at hiding my emotions, or so absolutely furious. I knew in that moment that I hated Victoria more than I ever thought I would, the reason not just the previously innocents beside her, the lives she's ruined, but how she's affected my own loved ones, wasting so much of their time.

Victoria moved her hand. Jacob snarled, but she only moved it to her chin, stroking it thoughtfully, her grin widening. "But you care for this, this puppy don't you? Ooh, this will be fun! Riley, Raoul, knock him out."

I stepped back as Jacob tensed, widening his stance and facing the two vampires suddenly in front of him. His growl was feral and loud, almost a bark. I was sure his teeth were bearing fully now, but my eyes were not for my wolf, they were for the two approaching enemies that had started attacking.

My heart rate spiked as they both attacked at once – the Raoul vampire was big, and looked a lot like Emmett at such high speeds. I grimaced as Jake attacked him, then immediately pushed that away, it was not Emmett, and it was the enemy.

I had to say, for Jacob's first kill of a vampire, and alone, he did pretty well. Raoul's head was soon across the warehouses, and Riley's arm smashed through a window. Much else of the fight I couldn't see, it was just a blur, but I could tell Jake was winning with my gift – if just because the newborn's instincts were so obvious Jake could predict their moves and my fumbling to help.

I stood with my back to the wall behind the brawl, feeling for the fighting bodies. Raoul hadn't expected it, and dropped when his leg suddenly gave out, giving Jake the opportunity to bite off his head.

Riley was more equipped, he looked to me when I tried to disable his leg, which distracted him enough for Jake to bite off his arm before Riley got back into the fight.

All the while Victoria was pacing outside the battle, looking for a way to get to me. She snapped at another vampire – Kevin she had called – and he joined the fight with Riley. Jacob was now standing in front of me as Riley paced around, circling. Jake was snapping his jaws, it was so loud it sounded painful – but the screeching as he had pulled the vampire's apart was much worse. I think his teeth would manage.

Kevin was even stupider, so instinctual I could feel his body would respond to me. I crushed his skull inward, onto his brain. He screamed, clutching at his head. Jacob struck, snapping off the vampire's head. It was in that moment of weakness, when he had leaped forward, that Riley lurched forward, a blurring form that landed on Jake's head. As the screeching of the vampire's neck ripping ended there was the sick, squelching thud when Riley's fist collided with Jake's wolf head.

He yelped, and dropped, eyes closing. I felt a lump in my throat, and tried to gasp past it. The world was moving slowly, I watched as his body settled on the concrete floor, as his head lolled to the side, as Riley's head moved up to watch me, his teeth glistening in his grimacing snarl, and I watched as Victoria's head came into my view, as her freezing hand clenched around my throat, as her hair whipped around her wild, black eyes, hungry with desire, desire for my death, my pain, my anguish.

Jake couldn't be dead, he couldn't. I needed him, needed him now more than ever. I felt my heart crumbling, I started to hyperventilate. He wasn't dead, he couldn't be. I felt around his body, blood still pulsed in his veins, his heart was still beating. But his head, his head was cracked, his skull had collapsed – remarkably his brain was still transmitting, still working.

"Don't worry," she cooed in my ear, eyes flickering to the pile of fur at her feet. My eyes followed, my heart was pounding wildly now. "He's not dead yet, his heart still beats. He'll wake soon – you'll hear how much he can yelp then."

My heart, impossibly, beat faster. I brought my hands up to the one restraining my neck, and wriggled, fought, kicked, strained, to no avail. Victoria only smiled, tightening her grip. I started to choke, pain spreading from around her hand, my lungs were straining and my heart rate slowing. My head felt dizzy.

The shapes of the newborns were blurring, but they were getting bigger. My hearing still worked, and I heard one whisper, "She's pretty hot for a human."

Victoria turned, hair whipping my face. She let go of my neck and I dropped to the floor, gasping for breath as my hands moved around my neck, hot against the bruised skin cold from the vampire's hand.

"You stay quiet," she snapped, her child-like voice sounding odd with all the authority she had adopted. Then she turned so I could just see her hand pointing from my bent over position on the floor. My knees were starting to hurt from the drop, and I was shivering again, teeth chattering as loud as the howling wind that now swirled though the warehouse.

"Riley," Victoria's voice was softer now. The love in it sounded fake, and she spoke too quickly, "could you please get our surprise for Bella?"

My mind immediately raced at the word – surprise? Was that some kind of torturing device? She wouldn't do that – not with the newborns here, they might go blood-crazed.

As fast as Riley left he was back, roughly holding a small newborn in his arms. She was struggling in his arms, thrashing actually. She was much shorter than Riley, but not tiny, she would be taller than Alice. Her hair was deep brown, shining and falling in long waves. Her face was heart-shaped, perfect like most vampires, and white as white could be. Her bright red eyes, brighter red than I'd ever seen before, were intent on me. I could feel her thirst more than any of the other vampire's in the room.

"Control yourself," Victoria snapped at her.

The girl cringed at the red-heads words, immediately stopping moving and stood still like a statue. Her hair flowed in the wind, curling to mid-back.

Victoria pulled me up roughly, gripping my arms tightly and grinning. "Bella," she growled at me, smiling widely. "Meet the real Isabella Swan."

_Aw, hell no!_

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><p><strong>I'm not going to say anything, apart from this is a Quil POV treat.<strong>

**REVIEW!**


	24. Battle

**Yeah, I dropped a bombshell on you guys last chapter - and now it continues**

**Read on!**

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><p>23. Battle<p>

Fuck, this couldn't be happening.

My heart raced, my breath hitched and then matched my heart rate.

Victoria was laughing, I felt like I was about to faint. The only thing keeping me on my feet now was anger – anger to the venging vampire who had ruined so many lives, anger towards her for bringing someone into my life who would ruin it, and anger towards the innocent looking vampire who was about to take everything away from me.

"Yes," Victoria was enjoying this. "I knew it. When Riley brought those books to me, the ones you hid under the floor in your cupboard, I knew I had something. I just didn't realize how big it was.

"H-how did you know where they were?" I was scared right now, but not because of the terrible situation I was in. If Riley had found the books, had Edward?

Riley answered this one, after Victoria gave a permissive nod of course. "You're scent was strong in your shoes, I was searching for the most well-worn pair when I noticed the loose floorboard, smelled the paper-smell wafting through the wood."

"Still can't believe you stole my shoes," I growled quietly. All my fear was gone, replaced with anger. I could feel my gift pulsing through me, just waiting for me to use it on one of the vampire's. I'd snap their necks off.

"I must say, I was in disbelief after reading the books, at first I thought you had written some profound biography of your life and what you expected it to turn up like, then the books started to show things that you wouldn't know, that hadn't happened yet and I planned to do.

"So I decided to see if this was real, and search for the girl whose life you stole. Her name is the same as the one you have adopted – what was your real name Bella?"

The vampire girl – Isabella Swan – looked confused, frowning and whipping her head inhumanely fast from side to side, hair fanning up as she turned her gaze from Victoria to me to Riley. "I – I – she didn't steal my life, I ... what's happening?"

"Sorry, Bella, I thought it would be better to break it to her here – you see, I don't like either of you. I've had my fun hurting this Bella, now I intend to hurt you!" She gripped my arms tighter, pain shot through my arm. I yelped a little despite trying to hold the noise back. "And don't think any of these newborns will attack and end you're life faster – I won't drop any of your blood."

Victoria stepped back from me; grinning, spreading her arms wide so everyone would step back, give her room. Riley pulled Jacob's limp, furry body to the side, behind the newborns so they could all crowd as close as possible, eyes hungry as they all watched me.

No, no this couldn't be happening. She can't still have done what she had, and more. I thought what she did in the books was bad, but this... this was worse. She had brought my life into this, my previous life.

Anger surged in my veins, my hands clenched tightly into fists. The anger cleared my mind, heightened my senses; even that knew one that I was only beginning to grasp, and likely wouldn't grasp fully until I was a vampire. My mouth curled in a snarl, and I was sure my blue eyes were as wild as her black ones.

"I am going to kill you, myself," I promised - my voice so rough and deep it sounded almost like a bark.

Her laughter filled the air, only to be cut off as the air knocked out of her.

She hadn't expected me to charge, and I only had about a foot to run until I was on her. Still she swatted at me, her faster senses being able to see me start running almost before I started. I used the moment her cold hand came into contact with the skin of my arm with bone-breaking force, but I ignored the pain. Instead I pushed my will onto her body, holding her arm still until I could spin my wrist and grip at hers.

Her immobile arm could not swing me off for the few moments it took for her to regain control. That was all the time I needed.

I moved to her brain, striking out with everything – and I mean everything. She gasped in pain and pleasure at once, losing memory and body function, her body stayed still as her hearing and vision receptors were shut off. I made the neurons in her head attack each other, severing the electric connections and breaking the things that made her body work. Then I moved to her skull, ignoring the fact she had brought her arm up to clutch at her head, that she was moaning and venom was frothing from her mouth. I made her skull pull down, crush her brain, broke the bone of the skull and used it to stab at it.

I didn't have much time before she started healing – I was surprised I had gotten this far already. A body doesn't normally want to attack itself, break itself, it will fight me subconsciously. I guessed that Victoria was so ready to die she didn't have that instinct to live. Her instinct was to kill me, then follow her mate to wherever he was.

So while I still had control I lashed out, severing her spinal cord, crushing her brain with her own head, attacking at her shoulder and thigh muscles. I even tried to rip her head off her body, but that wasn't possible. I had attacked her with her own rock hard flesh; I wouldn't pull it completely apart.

I opened my eyes, finding her eyes glassy, her mouth open in a silent 'O' and her body like a stature, immobile. I moved away from her, and finally noticed what was around me, why none of the newborns had stepped in to save their master.

The room was a blur of bodies, furry or stone hard, glowing in the low-light. There were bodies littering the floor, shattered or cleanly split, all were vampires - that much I could tell in the night. I hoped none were my own vampires.

My attention was shifted from the battle unfolding to the immediate threat in front of me.

Victoria's body was starting to move, her hands clenching and pushing at her head. He face had a strange sunken look, and somehow still looked beautiful in a kind of feline way. It was like her hands were trying to push her skull back into place. Her eyes were still glassy but she moved, body still living while her mind was currently absent.

Then a russet wolf was on her, ripping the head off as its massive paws pushed the body down. Its huffing breath was loud, growling, but I could only just hear it over the sound of the warehouse that I was gradually coming aware of. My ears were splitting at the sounds, like thunder as two vampire collided, and the yelps and growls of the wolves, so deep and loud the sound seemed to make my whole body vibrate – and the whole time there was a painful squealing, worse than nails on a chalkboard, the metallic sound of vampires being torn apart.

I brought my hands over my ears, trying to look everywhere at once as I stumbled around. I was looking for my bag, looking for what I needed. I saw a newborn start to run at me, and Jasper intercept it, cleanly pulling its head off its body. He grinned quickly at me and then was gone, attacking some other vampire at the corner of the room.

I found the bag quickly, ducking past a wolf – Quil it looked like - battling a newborn male.

I grabbed the bag, running back to where I had stood before, hearing a massive whacking sound as Emmett ran past me, behind me, to collide into one of my attackers.

I slid on the ground to my wall, and my eyes found the newest newborn, watching the battle with wide eyes, gripping at her knees as she was curled up into a ball in the corner. I had a cruel moment when I imagined killing her like I did Victoria. No one would know she had been Bella; she would just be another vampire body to be burned.

I had moved slightly forward, towards this 'real Isabella' when I realized the battle was over. Suddenly Alice was pulling me up, smiling and hugging me tightly. "Bella, it worked, it all worked!"

I looked around, seeing everyone around me, the wolves, Emmett and Jasper. I tried to recognise each wolf, my mind was too frazzled to use my gift to identify them – I was likely to attack them – and the light was too soft to tell their fur colours. I just ended up looking to the floor, looking for any wolf bodies.

There were none.

I collapsed against my best friend, weak from the stress of the night, the brutal use of my gift, and with relief that everything had worked. Everything had worked!

Except for one little, unaccounted for variable who was sitting in the corner, watching us all as I turned to her, and every head followed, wolf or not.

She stiffened at the attention, curling tighter into a ball and rocking slightly. She was gripping her calves so tightly that her gritty pants had split and she was grasping hard at her vampire flesh.

"Please, please don't hurt me!" she chimed in her musical vampire voice. I hated it, she sounded better than me, she looked better than me.

My mouth was moving before I could think to censor my thoughts. "Maybe we should kill her."

Jacob sprang to do my bidding, grinning widely through his muzzle. But she was in a corner, so he could only attack straight on, which she expected.

"No, don't touch me!" She yelled, lashing out, I heard the crunch as her little fists connected with Jacob's body, splintering, smashing the bones where she touched. His yelp was ear-splitting, his howl continuous even as he was pulled away.

Jasper calmed the girl down with his gift; she stopped moving, watching Jasper like she was hypnotized.

Jacob kept howling, barking, and thrashing. I moved to him, dodging his flawing paws and snapping teeth to put my hands at his body.

I could feel where it was broken, and feel his body starting to heal. First I moved to his brain, flicking off the pain receptors, and then I moved to his body, moving all the broken bones back into place. I could feel myself getting dizzy as all the energy was sapped by my power – my already depleted energy. I didn't have the strength to heal him, only move the bones into the right place.

I collapsed beside him, gasping for breath, heart racing.

The wolves were watching me, frowning their furry brows.

Jasper was with Bella, arms raised submissively and unthreateningly as he crouched over her, calming her down.

Alice and Emmett were piling all the pieces of the vampires into a pile. I tried not to look too closely as I pushed myself off the ground, grabbing my bag and moving to them.

"Bella, you don't need to see this," Alice said softly, dropping whatever body pieces she had been carrying.

I held up a hand, silencing her, rummaging through my bag to find the small container of gasoline. I chucked it at her wordlessly; she nodded and unscrewed the cap, pouring it onto the pile. Vampires were not easily flammable; they needed fuel to start burning just like any body. Their venom wasn't like oil; it didn't burst into flame as soon as a fire touched it.

Then I moved back to Jacob, who was still howling in pain. Most of the wolves were gone; I frowned at the remaining wolf – Sam. I crouched back over him, putting my hand on his furry side, once again flicking off the pain receptors. He stopped thrashing and howling, black eyes opening to stare at me – I couldn't name the expression.

Then the wolves were back, in human form, all wearing cut-offs. They all stood around Jake, some crouching. Their bodies warmed the air around me, and if I wasn't intent on retaining the numbness in Jake I would have been happy for the removal of the cold.

Suddenly there was a bright light, and a bonfire was burning in the middle of the warehouse, spreading foul, and too-sweet smelling smoke around the warehouse.

"We should get him into human form." I didn't know which wolf said that, nor did I care.

"Can you do that?" This time I noticed who was talking, Embry. I looked up for a minute and Jake yelped again, I had slipped; it took all my energy and concentration to keep this up.

"No," I muttered quickly and angrily.

"Maybe I can help?" Jasper was suddenly beside us, sending waves of calm outwards. There was that strange tint in the air as Jacob calmed down, returning to human form. My hand was on his bare ribs, his russet skin smooth and not hinting to the damage under it.

"Alice, call Carlisle," I yelled, still trying to keep Jacob painless. I felt very dizzy and very hungry and thirsty. If I hadn't been so intent on Jacob's mind or not fainting I may have blushed on the fact that Jake was naked and no one was covering him.

"What?" a lot of the wolves said at once.

"Jake needs a doctor! Carlisle is as good, better, than any and won't wonder why Jake's blood is so hot he should be dead!" I was yelling now. That used up almost all of my remaining energy.

I felt my eyes roll into my head, and my hand moved to grip Jake's. I just barely maintained my gift.

"Alice," I whispered, "there are explosives in my bag – blow up the building." That was all I could so before I passed out, the world going black around me as I fainted.

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><p><strong>What's going to happen now? Review!<strong>


	25. Morphine

**Wow, fanfic's changed a lot this past couple of days hasn't it? Book covers, smalller middle, all this other stuff. In case you haven't seen already, I've made some banners for these stories - go look on my profile.**

**Yes, once again I'm avoiding the question of the real Bella - but all will be explain in the next couple of chapters.**

**Thanks for all the reviews guys! Don't drop this story because of real Bella, please!**

**Read on!**

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><p>24. Morphine<p>

I woke up to some very human, very pained wails and a string of swearwords so long and colourful I was impressed.

I was being carried in cold, but not familiar arms. I blinked my eyes, to see a massive white smile just above my face. I tried to put distance between myself and those teeth for a second, and then I recognised the face that owned the smile.

"Hey Bella, had a nice nap?" I groaned in response and threw an arm over my eyes, clenching them shut and pretending to snore. Emmett chuckled, but suddenly stopped walking – that's what the swaying motion had been, I thought I was still really dizzy. Then Emmett turned around, and shook me a little. "Bella, you're going to want to see this."

I opened my eyes, frowning up at his face, and followed the line of his eyes to where he was looking.

We were on the street, almost a block away from the warehouse. Alice was running, blurring away from the building to immediately stand by us, grinning widely. Jasper appeared by her side, wrapping his arm around his waist.

"Three, two, one..." Alice giggled.

_BOOM!_

I wished I had had my hands over my ears. The building exploded, an almost mushroom like cloud ballooned from the building, red behind the dust and blocks of cement flying from the area. The sound came a second after – in a hard wave of air that may have knocked me down if I weren't in Emmett's arms, actually in this state it would have knocked me down.

Alice pushed on Emmett's side a little, and Emmet stepped forward just as a broken brick landed where we had been standing.

I knew it was destructive, was arsonist-like, but damn it was beautiful, there were tears in my eyes and not just from the dust and heat of the explosion. That explosion signalled it for me, drove the idea deep into my heart and soul, like a healing river running through me. It had worked! It was done! Everything was over! I could move on!

The wolves had turned to watch the explosion too, grinning as widely as Emmett. Jacob was squirming in their arms – they were carrying him. My heart spiked at the sight of him, he was in so much pain. He even looked cold. I wriggled in Emmett's arms, slapping at them. Emmett softly dropped me to the ground, it took a moment to get my balance and find the strength to walk.

"Bells, you sure know how to create a bang," Quil grinned at me, the mushroom cloud was settling.

I smiled back, too tired to really say anything. I stumbled forward, back to Jake. The pack allowed me, passing me one of his clawed hands that had been vainly holding his side. I clasped my hands around it, returning to his brain, forcing off the pain receptors. He stopped thrashing, stopping yelling, but he still swore... a lot.

The wolves started to move, moving to a truck I didn't recognise... Sam's maybe?

"How long does it take for you guys to heal?" I asked breathlessly, I was panting with the effort it took to keep him painless, trying to obtain as much energy from the oxygen as possible.

"I don't know Bella, what happened to him?" Sam asked. He had a vague idea of my gift.

I closed my eyes, focusing off his brain for a moment. He groaned in response, so I quickly snapped back to the necessary job, but not before I had seen it again, the devastation in his body. All those shatters shards of bone – I had only moved them into their right positions. At least his bones won't need to be broken again like in the books.

"Bones, smashed," I gasped, already getting tired.

Embry frowned at me. "Maybe we should carry her too."

Suddenly I was being swept into another pair of arms, this time hot and wiry, just barely longer than my own if more muscular. I smiled as I saw Seth smiling down at me. "Seth, you did great!" I forced that out – Jake moaned as I missed one of the pain receptors. I had to focus. I didn't hear Seth's reply, just saw his smile before I closed my eyes, it was easier to focus like this.

I barely noticed when they put me in the truck, only noticing that I had to sit on the floor so Jacob could lay relatively straight.

"This isn't going to be fast enough guys, and Jake's all curled up in the back." I didn't know who said it.

"We can carry him," that voice sounded extremely different than any of the wolves. Jasper was standing beside the car, with Emmett, both had their hands out like they were already carrying him, Jasper was sending waves of calm. It wasn't helping me stay awake; the only thing keeping me up was the need to help Jacob.

The wolves growled, but obliged after Seth – concerned for his mentor, berated them for refusing help when they needed it.

Soon I was out again, still holding Jacob's hand, as he was carried between the two male vampires. I was in Alice's arm, eyelids drooping.

"Where shall we take him?" Alice asked.

Sam replied - I could recognise the power in his voice. "We shall allow you into our territory – take him to his own house – bring your doctor if you must."

With that we were speeding away. Literally speeding, running through the forest that had been just to the side of Allan's warehouse. I barely noticed the movement, barely noticed anything actually. Either the vampires were sprinting or I had very little hold on time at that moment because impossibly soon we were at the Black's.

Billy was out the front standing – standing! – watching for his son with such worry in his eyes even in my state I could tell it.

Beside him was a blonde vampire, looking with equal concern.

"You better morphine him up," Emmett said, "Bella's been holding his pain away all this time."

Billy looked even more worried now, trying to inspect his son as he approached on wobbly legs. Carlisle followed, and caught the older man when he lost his balance. Billy looked in between being angry the vampire touched him, and thankful he had caught him. Carlisle smiled gently, and then turned his golden gaze to the injured wolf in his adoptive sons' arms.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked.

"He was attacked by a newborn."

Carlisle didn't ask, just nodded and waved us over. "Billy, may we enter your home?" Carlisle asked. I had the strange recollection of fairytale vampires not being able to enter a home without someone's permission; I smiled slightly despite the situation. Jake groaned as my concentration slipped.

Billy nodded vigorously, "Just help my boy."

"Okay, Emmett, Jasper, lay him on his bed, carefully," Carlisle instructed, walking briskly into the house.

Emmett, Jasper and Alice followed - me still in the pixie's arms. I wondered how that looked since she was so much smaller than me, did it look strange? Jake groaned again, and I decided maybe it was better to not think of anything else.

Alice let me down when Emmett and Jasper had laid Jake, very carefully, on his bed. I fell to my knees but gripped his hand tighter. Billy had been hurrying – as fast as he could hurry with his legs – to us. He all but pushed Emmett and Jasper to the side, crouching over his son, worry in his eyes – he even threw a sheet over his son's waist, as if any of us cared at the moment. I closed my eyes again, for Billy's sake – I barely registered anything I saw.

"Jacob, Jacob can you hear me?" Carlisle asked gently.

"Yes," Jacob gasped. At least he had stopped swearing.

"This might hurt a little, Jacob. I'm going to give you some morphine to dull the pain, Bella looks about to pass out."

I opened my eyes, watching as Jacob turned his head to me, eyes thankful and loving, but anger was in them - anger at me? I didn't do this! But his anger didn't seem directed at me; none of his insults had been my expense. Maybe the swearing was at something else, something he blamed for this.

Jake's black eyes stayed on mine as Carlisle inserted the needle. He didn't feel the jab of the needle, he didn't feel any pain.

"I need to examine you, Jacob. Bella, could you please step back."

"No," I growled, gripping his hand tighter. "The morphine isn't working yet – he needs more."

Carlisle nodded, and actually obeyed, inserting more morphine into Jake's bloodstream. I could feel the morphine working, the lethargy it took with it, when I was certain it would do my job I let go of his hand, nodding at Carlisle and stepping away. I felt dizzy and felt the blood rush to my head when I stood. Alice – I recognised her body – stepped behind me, catching me as I slumped.

"Billy," I whispered as Carlisle started his examination. "Do you have any food?"

Billy nodded but frowned deeply, looking from his son to me. I knew he wanted to stay with his son. "I'll get it," I offered. I took a step forward and slumped again. Alice wrapped her arm around my waist and draped my arm over her shoulder.

"I'll help you," she promised in a whisper.

Billy was watched for a second, still frowning, and then his gazed moved to the two other male, and more threatening, Cullens. "You two can go now." Then he turned his gaze to Alice, pursing his lips. "I guess you can stay – only for Bella though."

Alice nodded, then started walking, walking to the kitchen. I watched under my shoulder – my neck was too slumped to look over it – back at Jake, and at Carlisle who was carefully pressing his hands at certain areas of Jacob's body, checking which parts were broken.

Jacob was watching me leave, eyes drooping from the morphine. He smiled at me softly, and closed his eyes. I hoped he would sleep – sleep away the pain, and get better soon.

In the meantime, while I waited for Carlisle to finish his examination, I tried to stomach some food. I was very tired, and needed energy, but my stomach was swirling so bad that when I swallowed some water I felt like I was about to spew.

So much had happened that night, and most of it in a matter of minutes. Everything was a blur in my head, I could barely remember...

_Remember! Oh fuck!_

I remembered something I definitely did NOT want to remember that. Isabella Swan was real – I hadn't taken her place, she was still in this universe, this parallax. Had I made God angry? Was he upset with me and wanted take the life he had given away from me? I guess I had probably deserved, what with all I had done.

"Alice," I whispered softly, closing my eyes. I was leaning against the Black's dining room table, Alice on the opposite end, but it was so small she could reach out and touch my arm. All the others were in Jake's room, well, Billy and Carlisle were. Emmett and Jasper had left on Billy's request, and the wolves had to stand outside – there wasn't enough room for them all in the room, even though it was larger than his previous one.

"Yes, Bella," Alice answered, a hint of worry in her bell-like voice.

"What happened to the newborn, the one in the corner?"

Alice frowned, tilting her head, and then she gasped, and gasped loudly as her eyes glazed. "Bella... Alexis ... Isabella?" Her voice was wheezing. I guess she saw what I was about to say. Now her eyes were as round as plates and she clutched at her chest. If she were human, I'd say she was having a heart attack. "What? Bella, I don't understand."

"I don't either, probably even less. What happened while I was blacked out, what was Jasper doing?"

Alice sighed, a touch of regret and hesitance in her expression before she answered. "I called Rosalie. Jasper calmed the newborn – Isabella – so she wouldn't attack anyone else. She only attacked Jacob because he was trying to attack her. Jasper told her to wait for a blonde, very beautiful woman with gold eyes. As far as I know they're still driving back, in your truck actually. So she might be here by tomorrow," Alice joked half-heartedly, trying to lighten the mood.

I had groaned loudly, hands pressed against the sides of my head as a splitting headache attacked my brain – I thought I had foregone this stress.

"Bella, I love you, Edward loves you, we all love you – even Rosalie a little though she'll deny it – this Bella... she won't change that."

I looked up at her deadly serious, placing my hands softly on the table. "You better hope you're right – for her and Edward's sake."

Alice looked even more shocked, reaching out to grasp my hand. "Bella, you can't kill them."

I grinned widely, she pulled back a little. "No, I won't kill them, but if Edward cheats on me I will pull off his dick."

Alice couldn't help it, she giggled a little. I laughed a little too, though I was serious. I knew they could glue themselves back together, but not if he couldn't find something. My mood lightened at the strange topic, and the fact it was taking my mind off worse subjects.

Edward couldn't cheat on me, he wouldn't... would he?

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><p><strong>Ooh! What's going to happen next?<strong>

**Guys, I have a question for you all. I was reading about book-Bella's character in Twiwiki I think it's called, and they said Bella's character is bad, she has no real flaws excepting her clumsiness and neediness for Edward.**

**I was wondering what you like about Alexis, what are her pitfalls and good things, what are her highlights and flaws, and have I made her personality unbelieveable in some way.**

**Please tell me guys, I can't change the past three books, but maybe I can improve her in the last.**


	26. Breakdown

**Thanks for the reviews guys, most of you just seem to not like how Alexis hurts Jacob (which I hate too)**

**There also seems a lot of hatred out there for otherBella, you don't know if it is deserved or not yet. **

**So I'm deciding to call the next book Riding Down her Road, but some of the titles you guys have suggested are so good I may just need to do a sequel.**

**Anyway READ ON!**

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><p>25. Breakdown<p>

Carlisle came in to find both Alice and I very quiet. I was holding my full glass of water to my head, hoping the cold would make it feel better. I didn't want to ask it of Alice to hold my head, and then people would be worrying about me.

I didn't need to be worried about. Yes, I was throbbing all over – I was too tired to use my gift and find out what – but no one needed to worry about me. I was fine; I just needed a good night sleep. Or a day's sleep, it was close to morning.

"How is he?" I asked, worrying immediately, but Carlisle looked calm; there was no sympathy or sadness which would have appeared if he had to inform me of anything terrible happening to Jacob.

"He'll be fine; it's interesting how fast the wolves heal. He'll be fine soon. It was amazing, all the bones in his sides were shattered, but they were all in the right place – like they had never moved."

I smiled softly, raising my hand. "I think I did that. I knew his system would heal fast, and didn't want you to have to re-break the bones so they were in the right spot."

Carlisle smiled widely, interest and excitement in his eyes. "You can heal?"

"Carlisle," Alice said warningly, "she's about to pass out, now is not the time."

Carlisle nodded. "We should leave, you may be welcome here Bella, but I don't think Alice and I should extend our welcome."

"But Jake..." I started.

"... Is asleep," Carlisle finished. "You should follow his example."

888

I got home, and Charlie was like a storm. "Bella, where were you! What the heck have you been doing?"

I was leaning on Alice, stumbling forward. "You didn't tell..." she started.

"No," I answered quickly.

"What was that?" Charlie asked, his face turning red with anger.

I looked up at him, tired, but without having to continuously use my gift I had enough energy to talk, stumble, and think of an excuse. "The seniors decided to have a party, you know, before graduation, so we can all bond before we have to leave."

"These parties don't seem very good to me; you were drugged the last time." Charlie was still red, but now there was disappointment in his eyes. "Are you drunk?"

"No," I snapped, pushing Alice away and standing up straight, focusing on not falling over. "But I'm glad to know you have so much faith in me. Just so you know, I was mugged, and then when we tried to get home my truck broke down on the highway. We had to push it to the side and then start to walk to where we could get some mobile reception to call Alice's sister. Carlisle dropped us off here, Rosalie is going to try and fix the truck today. She'll drop it off later."

As far as I knew, my truck was fine, but Rosalie was going to drop it off later today. Carlisle had dropped us off, after seeing my bruises and giving me a check-up in the back while Alice drove. It had been embarrassing, who cared if I was hurt? The most embarrassing part though, was when Carlisle announced I had fractures in my arm and severe bruising. It was embarrassing because I hadn't even realized.

Carlisle wanted to put me in plaster. I waved him off – actually recognizing that most of the pain was coming from my arms where Victoria had hit me and squeezed too hard – saying I'd heal myself in the morning. Well, I'd heal myself when I had the energy to.

Charlie now looked at me, really looked at me, noticed the ash of my clothes, my knotted messed up hair, the stains and scuffs on my shoes and pants, the rips in my clothing. I imagined my face was even worse, if it looked at all as drawn and tired as I felt.

"Maybe you shouldn't go to school today," Charlie said softly, coming up to me, hands hovering like he didn't know where to put them. He patted my arm and I cringed, pain shooting through me.

Alice crept under me, taking my weight again. "I'll help her up the stairs Charlie – isn't it about the time that you have to go to work?"

Charlie nodded, still frowning worriedly at me. He was such a good father – I hadn't given him enough credit lately. My previous father – gosh twice in 24 hours – would never have worried about me. He would have probably forced me to take some pain meds and kicked me up the butt to wherever he needed me to go.

I smiled softly at him as Alice dragged me up to me room. "I love you, Dad!"

"Love you too, Bells." Charlie was blushing slightly from the display of emotion, especially in front of Alice. I grinned, it was kind of cute, a little quirk about my Dad. I smiled even wider when I realized something, and it was a big something.

This new Bella couldn't take Charlie away from me; he was my Dad, he loved me. Even if somehow she managed to come into our lives, be a Swan – long lost sister maybe? – Charlie would still love me, because a father's love to his daughter would always remain, he wouldn't fall out of love like Edward could do.

Anyway, maybe I was overreacting, maybe Edward would still love me, and maybe Isabella won't have any appeal for him. Well, technically she was made for him, but I'd come first, that had to mean something didn't it? I mean, he said I was his mate.

When Alice opened my bedroom door my heart dropped. I had always had Edward waiting for me inside that now when I thought of my room, I automatically assumed he would be there, placed him there in my mind. When he wasn't it was like something was missing, like walking into your bedroom and finding the bed gone, it wasn't right, it didn't feel right.

Before I knew it tears were in my eyes, it was beyond me to waste energy hiding my emotions. Crying was silly, being sad that he wasn't there was silly – he was still hunting. Carlisle may have left him, but he could still be hunting, he wasn't just abandoning me.

Alice noticed the unshed tears in my eyes, noticed the way my gaze travelled all over the room, searching. Her eyes glazed for a moment and she sighed, her voice a little irritated. "He's not coming tonight, Bella. I just saw him. He's still hunting – he got really angry when Carlisle left, Emmett explained what happened when he went home. He's hunting to burn off some steam, and he's teaching the other Bella to hunt."

I tried not to take that as a bad omen, tried not to think he was abandoning me for the other Bella. But it was impossible. Terrible thoughts started streaming into my head. I'd hidden something from him. He doesn't trust me. He is starting to hate me for all I've done. He hates how I'm with Jacob all the time instead of him. He suspects I've been cheating. He thinks I trust Jacob more than him. Then Bella is there for him, comforting him, that perfect selfless stupid Bella from the book. She's so beautiful as a vampire, far prettier than me. He falls for her, realizes she's her true mate, and I end up like Leah – discarded when a stronger bond connects my love to someone else. Then Jacob sees this Bella, realizes how bad I've been to him, and starts drooling after her too. And I'm left alone as all the Cullens realize how much better this Bella is than me, and close their door in my face before packing up and leaving. The wolf pack starts hating me too when Jacob no longer holds them to me. My terrible high school marks mean I can't get a job, get into a good college, and can't get enough money to survive. Mike and all the other guys run off with their girls, and I start to grow old, still living with Charlie and buying pets to keep me company. Then Charlie dies, and the pets die, and I have nothing to live for. I jump off the cliff, this time trying to kill myself, and let myself drown, an unidentified body that no one cares about, maybe never gets found as I'm eaten by a shark.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," I realized I was shaking, a cold hand on my shoulder shaking me. She was looking down at me.

Pain was running up my side, so painful I groaned loudly. I had fallen to the hard floor. There was a puddle of tears under my face, soaking my hair, stinging my face. My eyes were sore and puffy, I could barely see squinting. My nose was full of snot, and my sobs were loud. My throat stung, dry as a bone, and my stomach seemed to be trying to eat itself.

I tried to focus on this physical pain, rather than the emotional pain that seemed was trying to eat me alive, consume my soul, and pull me into madness.

"Bella," Alice whispered, her eyes were glassy and her beautiful face contorted in worry and pain. "Bella, get up, please get up, Bella." She sobbed once.

That brought me out of my spiral of self-pity and self-loathing. I could be in pain, but I would not put others in it. "Alice, don't cry," I whispered.

"Oh Bella, Bella," Alice whispered pulling me up and giving me a tight hug. I ignored the physical pain, it kind of felt nice, a good distraction. "I thought, I don't know, I didn't know what to think, what had happened to you. You fainted and were sobbing and scratching at the ground. I thought maybe you'd broken more bones somehow, or you're appendix had burst."

I smiled, it felt like a grimace. "No, it's nothing physical that brought that on."

Alice's relieved smile dropped, she picked me up and placed me on the bed, expression hesitant and sad. She wanted to ask what I had been thinking, she probably already knew about what it was. I wanted to ask her if Edward was going to end up with the other Bella now, if she had seen it, but I couldn't bring myself to ask – if she said yes I might die – no, I might kill myself. I hadn't realized just how much of myself belonged to Edward, even when he had left in my own personal experience of New Moon I had always been sure he would come back.

Now I wasn't sure, I was very unsure. The part of me that belonged to Jacob didn't help, because it seemed to be running away too. Why would the werewolf want me, his torturer, when a new, prettier, kinder, nicer person was just around the corner? New tears streamed down my cheeks, how long I could cry before I was dehydrated.

"Alice," I sobbed, not able to force anything else out.

Alice understood, taking my hands in her own, and bending so her face was in front of mine. Her golden eyes were fierce, molten and flowing with determination. "Bella, this won't change anything. I love you, you're my best friend. This book Bella won't change that – from what I've read she doesn't seem nearly as fun as you. She doesn't like shopping, clothes, make-up, shoes, and isn't very confident."

"You haven't read Breaking Dawn," I said sadly, tears still streaking down my eyes. "As a vampire she's better, more confident. Plus she's better than me. She's not selfish, I mean, look at what I've done to your brother and to Jacob. She's so selfless, and nice, and kind, and smart, and pretty, and perfect." My gaze dropped to my hands, tears dropping onto my arms.

Alice squeezed my hand tighter, forcing me to look back up to her. "Bella, you're all that too and more. Really, you all but sacrificed yourself to Victoria this morning to make sure a bunch of strangers weren't vampire food. You're only trying to be a good friend to Jacob, trying to keep him happy until you can find him someone to be with. You're letting me plan your wedding when you know I'm going to go all out," I smiled at her sheepish grin. She knew why I was marrying Edward. "You hurt yourself every time you heal our thirsts, and almost drained yourself completely trying to keep your friend from feeling pain.

"Bella, even if my brother is stupid enough to not choose you, to choose this Bella," I grimaced at the massive amount of pain those words caused so she hurriedly tried to finish. "What I mean is, even if he doesn't choose you, I still want to be your friend. I won't be angry if you choose Jacob. I'll change you if you really want me to! You're my best friend, Bella. I can't imagine being without you now – I was so sad when Edward made us leave."

I smiled widely, as sad as I was her speech was beautiful, and reassuring. I trusted Alice, she wouldn't leave me.

"Alice," I whispered, smiling, "if I ever make you sob like that again please slap me."

Alice grinned, pulling me into a hug, "Will do, Bella, will do."

I hugged her back, ignoring my protesting muscles and bones. I had a high pain threshold. "Alice, will you stay home with me?" I asked, begging a little.

Alice nodded, "Always."

888

I collapsed after a while of talking to Alice, of explaining all I knew (which wasn't much) about this Bella and how she had gotten here. I slept without dreaming – I was too tired to dream – and woke at just about lunch. Alice was nice enough to get me a bowl of muesli, and offered to feed me, gesturing to my arms.

Boy had they bruised, as had my shoulders, and my neck and jaw. My knees and ankles were bruised, along with the side of my thighs and shins. I had fallen down a lot last night, and I had grazes and cuts from the wooden chips that had graced my fall. My pants and shirt were ruined; Alice had thrown them in the trash and put me in a small silk nightgown that exposed most of the bruising.

I had a strange need to photograph it – like I needed proof so I could brag about being 'mugged'. It was silly, but Alice took the photo when I asked – I couldn't lift my arms, they were in too much pain and swollen so much it looked like I had big guns. "It'll be good for your alibi," she had explained as she snapped the photos.

I had grinned. "Okay, take a few though, because I'm healing this up."

Alice watched while I did. I laid flat on my bed, I was aware how tired I would get after yesterday. I took some deep breaths and closed my eyes. Alice was still as a statue, and had been leaning towards me, but she was so quiet I wouldn't have noticed if she had left. In fact it took so much concentration to heal myself that she could have brought an army of frightened elephants inside and I wouldn't have noticed.

It was so much harder to heal myself than someone else, like braiding you're hair behind your head. I also could feel everything I did, and it felt so weird I would almost stop every time I healed myself. I could feel my cells move, it felt like a bug or something was inside me, wriggling and crawling, and it felt hot, cold and painful around whatever area.

So I focused on all both of the broken bones at the same time. It's hard to explain, but it's like dancing or running, you can move more than one thing at once, do more than one thing at once. I gasped and bit my lip hard when I felt the sensation, scrunching my eyes closer together and gritting my teeth to finish the job.

"Okay," I gasped, "I think I might leave the rest of the bruises." I looked down, poking at my arm and pouting. "Aw, the guns are gone." I had healed the swelling and bruises around my arm, and the wrist that had broken When Victoria tried to swat it away like a fly. Actually those areas had been the worst, almost black bruised, and now I just looked like I had tripped on a hill and bruised my legs and shoulders... and my neck had caught on a root and I've almost been strangled... and that root was hand-shaped.

It kind of looked cool actually, and I couldn't bring myself to heal it. It only hurt when I moved my head, breathed and swallowed anyway.

I sighed, that hurt too, and clenched my jaw, repeating the healing process on my neck.

When I was done I opened my eyes. Alice had been watching with rapture, some of her spiky hair had fallen into her face and she hadn't noticed. Her golden eyes were wide, astounded and almost a touch proud. She grinned at me then, like a mischievous pixie. "At least you know book-Bella can't do _that_."

I grinned and giggled, maybe everything would be okay, and this wouldn't change my life.

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><p><strong>Okay, so, still don't know if you should hate Bella or not<strong>

**Review quickly guys and I might update a couple of chapter at once (all the unknowing chapters)**


	27. Izzy

**Okay, yeah, sorry but there wasn't enough reviews for me to post all these chapters - but I really liked the ones I got anyway. I'm updating because I'm impatient and I know this chapter should get the most feedback.**

**So, also thanks for the views on Alexis, it helped a lot, I was going to make her "all powerful she is mighty" (well, not really, but a bit more than she should be) Unfortuneately everyone's biggest flaw in her is how she hurts Jacob... well, no comment apart from the fact I hate hurting Jacob too.**

**So, after long A/N I'm afraid there will be another after the chapter.**

**Oh well, READ ON!**

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><p>26. Izzy<p>

The next day at school was terrible – for one massive reason. Edward wasn't there. It was like a slap in the face, actually more like a stab in the heart and a twist of that knife. Edward wasn't there.

It was not sunny, Alice and Jasper were there, and he had nothing planned. There were even important tests on today.

But Edward wasn't here, and I knew the reason why.

That face was swimming in front of my eyes. I imagined crushing her head in like I had Victoria's, collapsing her skull in on itself, smashing the pretty face inwards.

I felt terrible all day, I could barely focus on my tests, and when I did write something I scratched at the paper so hard that not only was my writing unintelligible I also tore the sheet a few times.

People avoided me in the halls; I couldn't seem to remove the death-seeking glower from my face. A girl with her back to me didn't realize why all her friends were backing away. I felt like throwing her out of my way, but instead I moved to stand in front of her, having to almost double-over because she was so short – a sophomore.

I smiled as sweetly as I could at the girl, not seeing her face, and grabbed her arms, lifting her off the ground and placing her to the side of passageway. "Please don't block the hall, okay?"

She nodded quickly and all but ran away.

Truthfully, as angry as I was, it was mostly a rouse to hide my real feelings. Inside I was sobbing, crying for every second I knew Edward spent with _her_. Every second he disregarded me for _her. _I ignored Alice's reassurances Edward was just showing her the works, how to be a vampire. She was just trying not to hurt my feelings. My feelings were hurt... badly.

The stupidest thing was that I felt guilty. I thought after we dealt with Victoria I wouldn't feel guilt anymore, could disregard the emotion. I had been eager for it. Now I felt just as guilty as before, and it was for a reason I wouldn't admit to anyone, even Alice.

I felt guilty that I had stolen Bella's life, stolen her family, her lovers, and her humanity. Victoria had changed her to get at me – Bella had to go through all that pain for nothing, because if what Alice said was true and Edward still loved me, she would have to wait, be in pain for as long as it took her to find another mate.

As much as I pretended to hate Bella, imagined killing her the first moment I saw her and never having to feel this pain, I wouldn't kill her. I would never kill her. If she's at all like she was in the books she was too innocent to kill, in almost every way. And if Edward chose her ... I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't kill anyone who didn't deserve it. I almost couldn't kill Victoria – Bella was millions of times better than Victoria.

Most of my friends sensed my mood – or my face, or heard about the girl in my way – and decided to avoid me. Not ignore me or be rude, but try not to say anything to me. Angela asked me if I was okay once, and asked where Edward was in the same breath. I almost cried, instead I steeled myself, looking into Angela's eyes and only answering her second question. "I do not know where Edward is."

I sat with Alice and Jasper that lunch, glaring at the table so I wouldn't be tempted to glare at them – they were happy together, I didn't have that.

News spread fast after lunch. Angela probably only said something in passing (she rarely gossiped) but Jessica seemed to have thought it meant Edward had broken up with me. The whole afternoon I was bombarded by whispers and sometimes outright condolences that I had lost Edward. Some of the girls looked smug at that – Edward hadn't shown interest in them and had lost interest at me.

I punched a junior that day. He had the nerve to walk up to me, well it was more of a swagger, and say, "Hey, since you're single now, want to go home with me tonight?"

Well, it was a good punch at least. He went to the bitumen spectacularly; I think I saw some blood. I didn't know though, because I walked the few steps to my truck (luckily it had been after the bell rang) and jumped in, pulling away as fast as I could.

Edward wasn't at my house when I got there.

He wasn't that night after Charlie went to bed.

He wasn't there at school the next day.

He wasn't there to repel all the guys that tried to ask me out that day.

He wasn't there to frown at all the gossiping girls.

He wasn't there to comfort me when I ran into the forest at lunch to cry.

He wasn't there.

_He wasn't there._

_HE WASN'T THERE!_

_HE ISN'T HERE!_

The words swirled around my head as I sat in bed that night, alone, sobbing quietly into my pillow.

I had gone to bed early, hoping he would be there – apologising for being away from me.

He wasn't there.

He was somewhere else.

I would go to that somewhere else.

I jumped out of bed, ripping my pyjamas off and throwing on some real clothes. Then I stuffed a bunch of stuff in a bag and ran down stairs.

"I'm going to the Cullens, Dad," I called over my shoulder as I ran. I only just heard his confused exclamation before I was out the door, running through the rain and jumping into my truck. I saw Charlie run out onto the porch just as I drove away. I knew this would worry him, but I couldn't find excuses to _not _do this.

So instead while I drove to their house I put my mind on other things, or rather another person – Jacob.

I had visited him the afternoon of the Thursday.

_Jacob didn't look good, he was covered in sweat, drenching the thin sheet laid over him. He looked paler than usual, drawn out and even a little thinner. He was very tired, he could barely move - I could feel that with my gift. It was an understandable feeling in his situation; more morphine probably ran through his veins than blood. Okay, not really, but he had a lot in his system so he wouldn't feel pain while those crushed bones healed._

_He was still asleep, Billy had allowed me to come in and sit by Jake until he woke up. I could see the obvious reason why he would not refuse me, tears had been streaking down my cheeks the whole time I had talked to him, voice wavering and waning._

_While I waited for Jacob to wake I checked his healing progress, feeling the broken bones with my gift. They were healing, but slowly – well, not as slowly as if he was a human, but he wouldn't be able to be fully mobile for at least a week._

_I didn't want to wait that long, and despite how tired I was, how I hadn't fully recovered even after a day and a bit, I decided to use some more energy. I started with his ribs, the sore areas that were restraining his breathing to shallow gasps. Jacob shivered at the feeling as I healed him, he wouldn't feel the pain but he would feel all other parts of the sensation._

_He opened his eyes, those black orbs moving straight to me. He smiled widely. "Bella, you look like crap."_

_I grinned, pushing aside the deep lethargy I felt after the healing. Healing was harder than taking control of someone else's body, harder than simply moving parts of someone's body. Crushing Victoria's skull was as easy as lifting a five kilo weight, this was like lifting my body weight, times two. I was not too tired though, it was just my body that felt like that, so I ignored my body, and responded to Jake. "And you, definitely looking as sexy as ever," I joked, he looked like something had chewed him up a little, realized he tasted bad, and spat him out._

"_I am wearing only boxers under this sheet." Jake smiled softly. He was not trying to be prudish, or try to kiss me, he was just joking this time. Then he frowned, tilting his head, and taking a deep breath._

"_I healed you ribs," I said, guessing his thoughts._

_Jacob's smile warmed, from slightly sad and embarrassed to loving and grateful. The tears that had been flowing steadily down my face – I couldn't stop them after holding them off so long – flowed faster, I was still hurting Jacob._

_In his squinty-eyed state he didn't see the tears, instead patted the bed beside him, and pulled my hands off his shoulder (I needed the contact to use my gift) to pull me towards him. I pushed his hand back, he mightn't feel it right now but even though that was his good side it put pressure on his bad._

_I settled beside him, and he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me tightly to him. He was clammy but warm and nice. I needed a comfort, a shoulder to cry on._

_It was when my tears did in fact fall on his shoulder that he noticed the fact I was crying. "Are you okay?" he asked, fingers entwining in my hair and stroking at the back of my head._

"_I'm great," I said, the lie still sounded good, but my tears kept falling. "It's you I'm worried about. How do you feel?"_

"_Tired, bored, a little hungry, but mostly stoned. Dr Fang didn't know how much meds he should give me, I think he overdid it a little."_

"_But you're not in pain?"_

"_No, but restrained to my bed. I guess it's okay, I've been catching up on sleep, but it's pretty dull. I'm glad you're here, if just to keep me company. But, maybe, a kiss could help." I shook my head, smiling though. Even now he wouldn't give up. "Oh yeah, the bloodsucker wouldn't want that. It's not like I, I don't know, saved your life just a few days ago."_

_I was cringing, my tears coming faster. Jake looked down, then immediately panicked at seeing more of the tears. "I didn't mean it, Bella; you don't have to cry about it. Don't feel guilty, please."_

_I shook my head again, against his shoulder. Some of my hair fell into his face; I pushed it away from him, and then kept my hand at his cheek. I closed my eyes, leaning in closer, and brushing my lips against his, quickly pulling back. "Did it make a difference?" I asked jokingly._

"_Yep," he replied, "I'm feeling better already, but I think I need another dose. Hey, maybe you could do that thing you did in the warehouse, you know, before all the vampires came."_

_I blushed, kissing his shoulder. "Even crippled you still like to be disgusting."_

"_Hey, you love me for it."_

_I snuggled closer into his chest, stroking my hands up and down his middle, feeling the newly repaired bones under his muscled chest and core. "I do," I agreed._

"_C'mon, Bella, please," he all but begged. I knew what he was referring to._

_I sighed, just brushing against his reward centre. There was nothing sexual about the feeling that came next, just a happiness, like being high, like eating chocolate, like that feeling you get after you've laughed really hard and have only just stopped and can't remove the smile from your face._

"_I love you Bella," Jacob whispered._

"_I love you too," I had returned the whisper._

I hadn't gone to see him again today – I knew he was suspicious about what had happened to me, and if he asked questions I would prefer I had some of the answers in my own head to pass on.

Alice was waiting for me outside the home, her little pixie face worried and concerned. I didn't like the expression; it was too close to pity. Jasper was a few feet behind her, his stance was casual but he looked ready to strike at any moment, his eyes were half closed but no doubt seeing everything around him. He had been like this since the fight with the newborns, over excited and ready for a battle.

What I noticed as immediately as I noticed the vampires was the certain lacking of one.

Edward wasn't there, wasn't waiting for me. That wasn't good – that was an understatement, I felt like someone was twisting the dagger in my heart again.

"Bella, why are you here?" Alice asked softly – yes there was pity in that voice.

"You know why!" I snapped, wiping off as many of the tears I could. Alice's eyes widened at me, and she took a step back. "Sorry," I apologised quickly, "but I think you do already know."

"Bella, don't do it, it's not what you think." Alice put her little body in front of me, blocking my path.

"Alice, I need to know. Please, let me past."

I closed her eyes, sighing. Her mouth turned down in a pout. "I'm going to regret this," she whispered. Then she opened her eyes, the pity was still there, as well as a measure of exasperation. "Okay, go in."

I smiled softly at her, wiping off some new tears, and walked inside.

I was sniffling the whole time as I searched for Edward. Esme heard and was immediately beside me; hand on my shoulder, looking as worried as if I was one of her daughters. Her arms hovered at her sides, like she wanted to give me a hug. "Bella, what's happened, what's wrong?"

I shook my head instead of answering, lifting her hand off my shoulder and letting it fall to her side gently. "I'm a mess," I forced a smile. "You don't want any of this," I waved over my face, "on you."

"Bella," Esme said softly, sadly, concerned, and pityingly.

I hate pity.

I walked away from her, and knew she was watching my back, even her exhale seemed pitying. More tears came to my eyes, these ones were angry. I didn't want pity – I never wanted pity. Pity was an emotion you gave when you felt sorry for someone because you were so much better off than them, when you know there is something wrong in their life but aren't going to do anything about it. Pity was not a good emotion.

I saw him in the moonlight, through one of the massive glass walls of the Cullen mansion. Either he hadn't heard any of the thoughts of his family, or he was ignoring the fact I was here. I grievously hoped it was the former.

The moonlight made his skin glow, his tousled bronze hair shine, as well as his golden eyes. He was smiling widely, perfect teeth just a shade whiter than his skin. My memory never did him justice. He was beautiful, heartbreakingly so, especially heartbreaking when that smile was directed at _her._

I couldn't help but notice she looked beautiful too, perfectly smooth white skin, long wavy and shining hair, perfect face and wide smile. Yes, her clothes were torn and dirty, it even looked like there were bloodstains on them, and too big, but she was still gorgeous. I felt myself choking on my sobs, but I couldn't stop staring.

It looked like he was teaching her to fight, showing her stances then moving her limbs to the correct position. When he touched her hair, moving it to the side so he could touch hold her shoulder, I couldn't withhold the gasping sob that flew from my mouth.

Both their heads moved instantaneously to me, eyes widening. Edward golden eyes locked on me for a moment, shocked. The broken shards of my heart shattered further, burning to ash.

I was running before I realized. I ran past Carlisle, who I hadn't noticed before, and Esme who was watching with those big sad eyes. I was out the door when I knew he was behind me, I kept running to my truck.

Then he was in front of me, blocking my path.

_She _was beside him, red eyes wide as she looked at me. I could feel her thirst. Maybe it would be good if she attacked me, I would have an excuse to hurt her, but I couldn't do that to Edward. His gaze was studiously blank as he watched her. "Isabella, animals," he whispered, his voice was like velvet; it made me shiver, and made me cry. That Isabella he said was not my name.

Bella's eyes flickered to him and she bit her lip. "I know, and I told you, call me Izzy." Her voice was still beautiful, like chimes, jealousy surged through me.

There was also a kindness in her voice, in her expression. I could be kind too! I would show Edward I could be good. "Hello," I said past the tears, "I'm Bella." I put my hand out.

She took it and squeezed, I felt a bone crack, and cringed slightly. She didn't notice, smiling brightly. "I'm Isabella, call me Izzy. Edward's told me so much about you." The way she turned to him, grinning... I knew she liked him, who wouldn't? She released my hand; I bit back my gasp as I healed the bone she had broken.

"Hopefully all good things," I whispered, gaze flickering to Edward before turning back to her. "May I?" I asked, moving my hand to my throat and gesturing to hers.

She looked once again to Edward and when he nodded she turned back to me, nodding herself. I moved my hand slowly to her neck, not to alarm her. Yes, I did want to choke her (as if it would do any good) but I would play good.

Bella's thirst was strong, as much as two of the Cullens combined. Bella gasped as I took her thirst away, her hard small hands covering mine, as if she was scared I would pull away before I had taken all her thirst.

It didn't take long, and soon Isabella was smiling angelically, head falling back as she released my hands. She looked up to the sky, taking a large inhale that was slightly wavering. She looked almost like she was praying.

Then she turned the smile to me. "Thank you, Bella."

"You're welcome."

"But how ... how did you do it?" she asked, eyes still amazed and her own hand still at her throat.

Edward answered for me. Hearing his voice at length was painful, his face was too perfect in animation. "Bella has a gift; she can do things with someone's body, heal them, move them, or in this case take something away from a body. She once saved a man who was having a heart attack."

The tears in my eyes were flowing more frequently now, I lost the urge to furiously wipe them away - more would come straight after them. Instead I moved to my car, opening the door – Edward moved out of my way but noticed the movement. The tears flowed impossibly fast when Edward turned his gaze to me, though he still spoke to the other Bella – Izzy I guess. "I can't hear her thoughts either."

I smiled sadly, clenching my jaw as the anger that had been growing under all the sadness suddenly surged. I jumped into my car, starting the engine as I said. "I guess that's common for those that you love. Or used to love..."

Edward's expression fell blank. He was probably just hiding the guilt. Well, it was better than flaunting it in front of me. Seeing him kiss her might have just broken me.

The tears flowed freely now, along with the sobs. It was probably dangerous to drive in such a situation – everything was blurry. At least there was barely anyone on the road at the moment, if I did sway I would at most hit a tree, I would only hurt myself, not anyone else.

I hadn't driven long when there was a massive bang at my truck. My heart raced and I swayed, almost driving onto the other side of the highway. There was a lump in my throat. Victoria was dead; no one else was after me at the moment right?

Then I saw bronze in the right-hand window. The door was opened and suddenly Edward was there, sitting inside, door closed behind him. I forced the truck back into line of the highway, using those seconds to compose myself as much as possible – which was to say I stopped sobbing while the tears continued.

"It isn't safe for you to drive like this," Edward said. "You look terrible."

"Well I'm sorry I can't look perfect like you're vampire."

Edward paused for a moment, I wanted to turn to him, see his expression, but I knew I would break down again if I did. Just the thought that he was in my car at the moment was enough to make my eyes water faster, I was amazed I still had tears left to cry. My eyes were so swollen I was permanently squinting, and they stung like I had sawdust in them. I had a massive headache and knew I was probably close to dehydration.

"Bella, we need to talk."

"I don't want to talk to you," my voice was flat and sharp, like a dagger.

"Bella, you're being unreasonable," he sounded exasperated already.

"I don't want to talk to you," I repeated, voice rising. I was gripping the steering wheel tightly, if I loosened my hold I might pounce on Edward and pound him with my fists until all the bones in my arm were shattered.

"Then who do you want to talk to, huh?" Edward's tone had turned angry. I cringed at the sound, he did hate me. "That dog maybe? You trusted him more than me already this week. You took him to Seattle with you instead of me! You trusted him to keep you safe more than me! What would I have done if you had been hurt or killed?"

"Well then you would have had Izzy. Oh wait, you already do." I laughed harshly, knuckles turning white with the force I held the steering wheel. "Go on now, run off to her, have fun!"

"Why, so you can run back to your little lapdog?" Edward was yelling now.

I was fuming, feeling my blood run faster through my veins. I needed to punch something. The turn off to the reservation appeared, like talking of Jacob had called it to me. "I guess so, now that you don't care."

I took the turn to La Push harshly, Edward slid to the side. "Bella," he said thickly.

"Get out," I snarled. The sound was quiet, dangerous, the calm before the storm. If Edward wouldn't get out now there would be a storm, one even a vampire would be hurt by.

"Bella," Edward whispered, a plead in his tone. I couldn't take his pleading; I would give in if I didn't act now. I speed up, the Chevy growling and gasping as I approached its limits.

"The boundary line is coming Edward, you wouldn't want to break the treaty. The rest of you can hold your own in a fight, the newborn can't."

This time I turned to him, eyes narrowed and forcing my face into the most furious expression I could manage at the time – which was half anguished.

Edward swore quietly then opened the door, jumping out as a gust of wind hit my face, and slamming the door shut behind him in mid air. It was done so fast any of the other driver's wouldn't have seen it in the night.

I let the tears fall again but didn't loosen my hold on the wheel. I pulled over when I got to the top of the cliff; sure I was safe from Edward there. Before I knew what I was doing I was walking out to the edge, sitting down onto the soft grass and bringing my knees up, wrapping my arms around my legs.

The tears had finally stopped; I think I had run out of them. I could see everything clearly now, not blurred. The moon was large and full, the sky unusually clear. It shined onto everything, illuminating it in a soft glow. The sea was a soft rumble in the background, the wind a humming in my ears. The grass to either side of me swayed in the breeze, long and slightly blue in the moonlight it looked almost like fur.

It was cool, almost cold, on the top of the cliff, the sea breeze biting at the exposed areas of my skin, and cooling those areas covered by fabric. I closed my eyes, blocking the beautiful orb of the moon from my sight. Did everything around me have to be beautiful, peaceful, and so much better than me?

My eyes stung, my eyelids themselves felt dry. I liked the cold, it made me feel numb. I could pretend I was just the wind, flowing from place to place, not making any attachments, and never feeling the pain of loss.

God... I sounded like _her._

My mobile buzzed in my pocket, ringing, spoiling the quiet of the night. I debated ignoring it, and then sighed, pulling it out. 'Alice' flashed on the screen, I sighed and answered.

"Bella," Alice said immediately, "I can see you on that cliff – don't you dare think of jumping!"

I grinned sadistically, "No Alice, I won't jump, that would make it far too easy for _him._" I hung up, and turned my phone, off, once again revelling in the night.

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><p><strong>That was a long chapter and I'm sure you guys want to vent.<strong>

**So review! 15 reviews (yes I know it's a lot) and I'll update the next chapter right away, and maybe another if you're lucky.**

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**So, you should also review a prize for the contest - I'm thinking a special POV, either from this story or the next! Depends on how long I'll hold the contest for (I'm thinking a month).**


	28. Useless

**Thanks for the amazing reviews, I loved each and everyone one of them, they're like a packet of M&Ms each (I love M&Ms)**

**Okay, since you got the 15 reviews I'll post the next chapter (which so happens to be the explanation chapter) in let's say an hour, unless you can convince me *wink***

**Read on**

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><p>27. Useless<p>

I don't know how he found me, if he saw me through the woods or smelt my scent from the wind, but suddenly Paul was at my side, dropping to the ground and dangling his long legs over the side of the cliff.

"You know, stargazing usually requires a telescope," he teased, smirking.

I closed my eyes again; it wasn't worth the sting in my eyes to look at him. "And wolves don't normally talk, but who am I to question things."

Paul chuckled by my side, we had a kind of competition of insults lately, most minor.

"You should probably put some make-up on before you see Jacob, having a heart attack after he just finished healing..."

"Ah Paul, if only make-up could fix everything, it might be able to help you."

"Sorry Squinty, guys don't wear makeup."

"Shame, now I still have to see your face."

"I'm grievously sorry for you Squinty." Paul's tone turned more sombre. "Seriously now, what's happened? Looks like you washed your eyes out with sand."

"Yeah well water was too mainstream."

Paul chuckled again, and sighed. "Sam's gonna kick my ass for this. I better get you somewhere and keep patrolling. Sam would kill me if I let a vamp in because I was looking after you, and Jake would kill me if he found out you jumped off a cliff because I left you early."

"I'm not going to jump off a cliff," I whispered, it sounded false in my soft, half hopeless tone.

"Well, with your luck you might trip, or a moose will come out of nowhere and push you off. Either way you'd be dead, so I'm taking you to the Black's. Jake probably still bored out of his mind, Dr. Fang won't let him phase yet in case it breaks his bones again."

I opened my eyes, seeing Paul already standing, holding a big hand out to me. Under his temper and tough exterior Paul was a pretty good guy. Rachel was a lucky girl, when she decided to come down here. He wasn't as hot as Jake, but I could be prejudiced – to me he felt a cousin, that annoying one that you weren't extremely close to.

"Thanks Paul, you know, for not seeing me here and pushing me off." It was hard to be serious with Paul.

"It was tempting," he smirked again. "Am I driving, or can you see through those swollen ass slits you call eyes."

I touched my eyes, feeling how sore they were, how much better it felt to close them. "I think you should drive, just don't crash 'kay?"

"I'll try not to."

Paul dropped me off at the Blacks (he had complained the whole while to me about not being in on the fight), and I let myself in, tiptoeing to Jake's room after a sidetrack to the kitchen. I was thirsty, very thirsty, I think I drank about six cups of water before I felt a little better – I took the seventh in with me to Jake's room.

Jacob was still awake, and jumped in fright when he saw me. It took less than a second for him to recognise me, and then he was jumping out of his bed, tackling me into a hug. My glass splashed onto us both and I laughed, pushing him back to take a big swig.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" he asked, whispering. Billy must have been asleep, I hadn't seen him yet – in his wheelchair or not. He was making a good recovering but staying on his feet for more than ten minutes was beyond him, he needed breaks in between.

Jake's hands then went to my face. I placed my cup on his bedside table before turning my gaze to him, wanting to delay his inspection of me. Jake let go of one cheek to close the door (damn his arms were long) and then flicked the light on.

"What did he do?" Jacob growled after seeing my red nose, and puffy eyes.

"Who are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Bella." Jacob's face was turning red and he was shaking. "You were crying all of the last time you saw me too. Did he hit you?" Jacob started pulling up my shirtsleeves before I could answer, bending down to search for bruises.

"No, he didn't hit me. Can we please not talk about it?" it was more of a plead than a request. "I'm really tired, can I sleep here tonight? I don't want to go back to Forks. I'll explain tomorrow."

Jacob sighed, but nodded, pulling me into a hug that was gentle and soft and very different than usual. It was ... nice didn't adequately describe it right now. It was like water when you're thirsty or food when you're starving, I needed it right now, like it was a natural instinct to crave human contact. It probably was, but it was more than a craving in that second for me, it was a necessity.

"Do you; um ... want me to sleep on the couch?"

I shook my head, laughing tiredly against his chest. "Since when have you not wanted me in your bed?"

Jacob chuckled at my half-hearted joke, lifting me gently to place me on the bed before lying down beside me. He watched me from there, supporting his head with his fist, creating a triangle with his bicep, forearm, and head to shoulder. His black eyes were warm, the smile on his lips slight.

"Can you turn the light off? You're closest," I smiled sheepishly.

He patted my head, "Only if I get a goodnight's kiss."

I shook my head, slightly exasperated. I guess it was good he was still fighting for me, Edward was probably about to chuck me out soon anyway. "Light first," I ordered.

Jacob grinned, moving slightly faster than it was humanly possible to turn off the light and jump back into bed. He was like an over-eager puppy – I think I liked that about him. He was grinning, I could tell that even in the dark. I leaned in closer to him and the smile dropped as he too leaned in. My lips brushed against his, and he leaned in further, trying to capture my lips with his own. I leaned in for a second before pulling quickly out.

It wasn't because I was tired, or I didn't want to lead him on. It was because I didn't want to lead myself on, because in that second I wanted to throw myself at him. Maybe I was going into kissing withdrawal.

I was definitely in cuddle withdrawal, so I snuggled closer to Jacob. He wrapped his warm arms around me. A large part of me was disappointed – they were not the arms I was craving.

Jacob threw the covers over us with the arm not under me, and then moved this arm to pull me close. He left his hand at my waist. It was warm, it was nice - objecting didn't even cross my mind.

"Night-y, night Jake," I whispered.

"Night Bella, I love you," he kissed my forehead, and then settled his head comfortably on his pillow.

"Love you too," I whispered feeling myself drifting to sleep. Jake's bed was comfortable – I had bought the best for him.

888

I woke to find myself very, very warm. A sheen of sweat was covering my body and I was craving a cool swim in the ocean. I think I had even dreamed of the ocean.

The memories of last night's dream did come back. I was drowning, having jumped off the cliff. Wait, I didn't jump, I was pushed. Edward pushed me away to go to Izzy, and I had fallen.

I shivered, no longer caring about the heat in my body - the cold spike down my spine more than made up for it.

I realized then that Jake wasn't asleep. My eyes were closed but his hand was moving in a way I doubted was unconscious. My shirt was have ridden up through the night, because his hand was on my bare stomach, tracing the planes of my faint six-pack that was growing more defined day by day. I'd forgotten the body fat percentage I needed to have my abdominals showing but I knew it was very low. Another reason I was dieting, Alice had been all but starved as a child and didn't have enough energy to grow muscles, and Rosalie hadn't been unfed, neither vampire girl had abs. I wanted to test if they would show after the transformation... if I got the transformation.

Jacob moved his hand higher, to my hip. His thumb stroked along my hip-bone. I shivered again, this time it was not from fear. I didn't like the way my body responded to Jacob's touch.

This time Jacob noticed the shiver, and brought me closer to him. Did he think I was cold? I felt like someone had sprayed me all over with water, like I was a plant in a green house. I'm sure my body temperature was approaching his.

I decided it was time to announce to him that I was awake. I started moving, stretching, then yawned loudly – cutting the motion short when I thought of how bad my morning breath would smell, especially to someone with such a good nose. That made parts of me war with myself – Edward's part was yelling that I shouldn't care if he thought my breath smelt, that I should eat some garlic and breath on him until he ran away clutching at his nose. The Jacob part of me wanted to grab a mint and wished the toothbrush in my overnight bag was being in use.

"Good morning, Bella," Jacob whispered as I opened my bleary eyes. They stung, and I could feel the crystallized sleep at my tear ducts.

"Good morning, Jacob," I replied. I blinked my eyes a couple times, wishing I had a tissue or was in a bathroom so I could wipe the sleep out of my eyes. My cheeks felt strangely restricted, like there was tape on my face. I felt it, and felt dried tear streaks going sideways across my face. But I wouldn't think of what had caused those streaks, looking instead back to Jacob who was smiling sweetly down at me, hand still stroking my side. "You have drool marks," I commented, giggling.

"Maybe we should both wash our faces." I was glad he hadn't outright commented on the state of my face, but I knew I looked like crap – I felt like it.

My face was… just as I expected when I looked in the mirror. My eyelids were red and puffy, my face streaked with thousands of glittering trails of dried tears – it actually looked like a snail and crawled all over my face from under my eyes. Purple bags under my eyes were so deep a colour it looked like someone had punched both of them. My lips were chapped and dry, a blood stain from where I had bitten it raw sometime in the night. My hair was, well … I hadn't brushed it since yesterday afternoon, I had tossed and turned in my bed before visiting the Cullens, and had probably tossed a little last night as well if not been able to completely turn from Jacob's hold. It had so many knots it looked like several rats had taken up home in it, and it was matter in the areas my tears had soaked it.

Jake just splashed his face; I stood back a little, still grimacing at my reflection. "Um, Jake… can I had a shower?" I asked. "It's gonna take a bit of work to get this better," I pointed to my head.

Jacob nodded and quickly walked out, averting his eyes like I had already removed my clothing. I smiled at him. As gross as his comments could be he was really innocent at heart. I forced myself not to watch his butt as he walked out, clad only in boxers, or his broad back.

I shook my head at myself when he closed the door, pulling out my hair tie (and a handful of hair with it). It broke in the struggle; I threw it in the bin. I stripped quickly and jumped into the shower, party of me worried someone was going to walk in, another part not wanting to be alone for too long in case I broke down again.

I focused very much on scrubbing myself head to foot and attacking my hair with shampoo. After rinsing I used half of Jake's conditioner bottle (okay, maybe I was over exaggerating) and found a comb to brush out the knots.

I felt extremely refreshed when I was done, my hair smooth if drenched. My face looked much better now it was blotched with white, and my eyes were only slightly bloodshot. I healed my chapped lip, it had started to bleed again when I moved it, and now it was smooth and whole.

After this assessment I felt my stomach drop. I didn't have a towel. I grimaced, seeing only two towels on the racks, Jake's and Billy's. "Jake," I called, walking carefully to the door, dripping on the tiles.

"Yeah," I heard him on the other side of the door.

"I uh… don't have a towel." It was cold in the bathroom now that the steam from the shower had dissipated.

Jacob didn't answer for a few seconds, and then I heard his footsteps as he moved away. He was back a few moments later, and knocked on the door. "I have a towel."

I smiled, opening the door and fraction and sticking my hand out. I felt the fabric in my hands and quickly snatched my hand back. "Thank you Jacob."

"You're welcome," he said, voice a little deeper. He usually adopted that tone when he was about to make a gross joke. I dried myself, waiting for his comment. It didn't come, so I wrapped the towel around my chest tightly like a sarong. I fetched my dirty clothes, and opened the door slightly, peeping through the crack.

Jake was there, so I ran out, holding the towel closed as I sprinted to Jacob's room. The door was closed, I knocked. "Jake are you in there?"

"Bella," Jacob replied.

"My stuff is in there Jake. Can I kick you out for a second to get changed?"

Jacob came out quickly. He looked away almost as soon as he saw more, putting a hand over around his eyes to block me from his sight. "Go ahead," he said gruffly. I felt bad for kicking him out, but hurried inside, shutting the door and changing as quickly as I could into my clean underwear. I didn't think to have packed more than that last night so I just changed back into my dirty jeans and top.

I dried my hair with the towel and brushed it quickly, brushing my teeth and swallowing the toothpaste after.

I carried the towel out to the kitchen. Jacob was sitting with Billy, who had once again resumed sitting in his wheelchair.

Jacob had two bowls of cereal out, one for him and one for me. I smiled and sat beside him, taking the spoon he had already placed in the bowl and taking a bite. He had only given me a little – he knew me so well. Also he didn't like to have to wait for me to finish – his bowl was filled to the brim but he all but inhaled his food.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Jake asked, both of us wiping the milk off our faces. I went to the sink to clean the bowls.

I thought about that for a moment, hands moving almost unconsciously in the routine. "Are you up for some surfing?" I asked, grinning. I felt energetic for the first time in two days, possibly because I had barely eaten for the past two days – crying, sadness and anger made a terrible mix for the stomach – I could barely stomach water.

We swam until my fingers were so wrinkled I swore I was a grandmother. Jacob caught all the biggest waves, the dumpers that sent him crashing to the sand below. I supposed it was okay for him, if he broke his back it would probably fix itself by the time he came to the surface. I wished I could've caught those waves, not for the tumbling dumping under the water, the sand in your eyes, hair and everywhere, but the drop on those waves looked epic.

The only problem was I hadn't brought swimmers and had to swim in my bra, panties and one of Jake's old shirts. I almost lost the bottoms several times.

"So what do you want to do now?" Jake asked when I had crawled onto the sand, lying in the half-light of the cloud obscured sun. The water tickled my feet, swirling sand though my toes.

"Sleep," I said, closing my eyes. Jake's shirt was big; almost a dress on me, but it was black and was warming me.

"Bells, all I've done the past few days is sleep and eat. Can we talk at least?"

"Sure, sure," I replied, grinning as I used his trademark phrase.

Jake settled beside me, I heard the tiny squelching of the wet sand under him. Then he took my hand in his own.

"Bella, what happened to you the last few days? I've never seen you so sad before, you've definitely never cried like that in front of me."

"I've never cried like that in front of anyone. Think yourself privileged to witness my snotty-faced." I had to joke, had to laugh. I had my walls, my defences, down for a few days, now they'd been rebuilt, stronger than ever. I even sounded happy to my own ears; the tone was contradictory to my words.

"Bella, can't you tell me?"

I turned my face, opening my eyes, leaving myself smiling. "If you knew you wouldn't be here. Can't we just enjoy the moment now?"

"No," Jacob was serious now, sitting up and turning his torso to me. His brow was furrowed and he looked was concerned for me and annoyed at me. I could understand, I didn't like it when people hid things from me, I needed to know everything.

I pursed my lips, groaning as I sat up. I was actually quiet tired, we had been surfing for almost three hours now. The sun was almost at its peak – I was surprised Jacob wasn't complaining about his empty stomach by now. I almost used that as an excuse, almost asked him if he wanted to grab some grub. I didn't though, Jacob should know.

"It's Edward. There's this girl."

"Oh," Jacob seemed shocked. Understanding dawned on his features, as well as hope and anger. His smile turned cocky. "I never would have thought the leech would slip up like this, you want me to kill him for you?"

I pretended to ponder that for a moment, but inside I had immediately responded 'NO'. "Nah," I responded eventually, "I think I'll want to do that myself."

"Bella, you don't have to pretend to be happy about this. You can cry in front of me. Cry on me if you want, you did last night."

"Sorry about that," I let a tiny bit of the sadness inside me out, just to appease him.

"So, what's this girl like? Is she blonde? Is she a bitch?" Jacob asked, not so subtly moving his arm to my waist and bringing me closer to him.

"No," I answered. I was hesitant to explain much about her, I didn't want Jake panting after her as well – I would die then. "She's the brunette newborn that broke your side."

Jacob growled loudly, deeply. It wasn't a human imitation of a growl, it sounded like the wolf inside him. He wasn't shaking though, I could trust him not to phase near me. His self control was close to Sam's. "Really," he said eventually, sounding almost interested.

"Yeah, apparently he's teaching her to hunt and stuff, be a vegetarian vampire. Don't worry about having to take her out, she's only a few days old and she could stand beside me and not attack. She'll have great self-control – and I took her thirst away anyway."

"You do that?"

I nodded. "Edward was smiling at her the whole time I was there."

"Doesn't feel good, does it?" There was a bitter edge to Jake's voice now. He dropped his hand from me. "Guess you know how it feels to be the outsider in a love triangle. There is such a thing as karma."

Each of his words were like a stab to my already disintegrated heart, like pouring gasoline on top and lighting a fire – just to make sure it definitely was destroyed. I hid my pain behind my walls, face turning expressionless. Was Jake enjoying my pain? Was it payback in his mind? I wouldn't give him the pleasure of seeing my grimace.

I stood, raising my chin a little. "You're right, I put you through hell. I won't hurt you with my presence any longer."

I started to walk away, but Jake was soon following, reaching for my hand. "Don't go, Bella, please. I didn't mean ... well I did, but I didn't mean I didn't want you here. Think for a moment about how I feel. Would you want the bloodsucker to never see you again, or would you be happy with every moment you got with him."

The latter, always the latter, as much as I knew it would hurt me I would take each second with Edward I could get. It made me feel so guilty for Jacob's situation – I had one this to him, built our relationship knowing Edward would return. At least Edward hadn't known he would find the other Bella.

Tears threatened to fall, pricking at the back of my eyes. But I wouldn't cry any longer, it did not help to cry, all it did was give me a mega migraine and make me even uglier than the other Isabella.

So I turned, facing Jacob and gave him one better than my hand. I ducked under his arms for a hug, wiping the pleading sad expression from his face. "I'm so sorry, Jacob. I hurt you too much; you shouldn't waste your time on me."

"It isn't wasted time," he whispered, kissing my forehead, "it is time well spent."

I stayed there for a few minutes, safe in the cage of his arms, warm and soft around me. He swayed slightly with the ocean; I did to, leaning my face on his chest. I probably looked strange, holding him so tightly but with a blank face. Did I look like I didn't want to be there? Truthfully I was just hiding the pain from him; he needn't worry longer about me. His happiness was rarer these days; I wouldn't hurt it just to indulge in useless sobbing.

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><p><strong>So, review guys! Pretty please.<strong>

**I'll see you in a hour.**


	29. Sister

**Sorry, I got sidetracked, at least it wasn't a day.**

**So, here should be most of the answers you wanted.**

**Read on!**

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><p>28. Sister<p>

I spent the weekend at La Push, too cowardly to return to Forks where Edward might be waiting. Waiting to dump me, or waiting with _her._ Either was gut wrenching, as long as I was in La Push I didn't know what happened in Forks. As long as I was in La Push I could imagine Edward was waiting at home for me, annoyed I was with the dog rather than with him. As long as I was in La Push Izzy did not exist. As long as I was in La Push I could pretend everything was okay. As long as I was in La Push I could still feel wanted.

I went and saw the pack a few times – Paul wasn't the only one upset they had missed a fight. To make it worse most of the included wolves bragged all the time about how they had taken down this many vampires. I listened happily to the stories, gruesome as they were, as many showed the Cullens and werewolves working in unison. Seth was the only one who had come to Seattle that had whined. He had only seen the aftermath of the fight.

Leah glared at me the whole time – for putting her brother in danger (however minor) or something else I didn't know.

Somehow talks of fights had turned into real ones. Well, real to the extent that they were actually happening in that time, the fights were them just playing and involved a lot of laughter.

Then somehow I found myself in the fights. Paul had announced fighting me would be so easy they'd have to fight on their knees to make it interesting, and even then. I had glared at him and turned off the function in his arm for a moment.

The guys went easy on me when they fought (not on their knees) but most of the time I ended pinned to the floor. I still found it interesting, revising my fighting skills and learning a few more. I ended up with bruises but that was fine with me, battle wounds.

Charlie came up, and decided that we should invite a few people over for dinner at the Black's – he only had one request, Embry's mother Tiffany Call.

Billy invited the Clearwater's too, and eventually a bunch of others were invited, but I was curious of my father's request.

I found out why at the dinner. Tiffany had greeted Charlie with the warmest smile, and he had opened his arms for a hug. "Charlie, you just keep popping up in my life don't you?"

"Who said you're not popping up in my life?" he teased, she blushed a little. Tiffany was a pretty woman, not amazing or gorgeous but pretty. Her smile was very white against her russet skin, and stretched widest whenever her eyes found Charlie.

They sat close all night, and chatted to each other as often as they did with all the others combined. I smiled at the sight. Maybe that was one thing I could check off my list.

Embry sat by me while I sat with Jacob. He was watching his mother interact with my father with almost the same rapture I did, his smile softer. "If your Dad keeps it up like this she might be in a good enough mood to un-ground me until next morning."

I felt sorry for Embry, his mom didn't know he was a wolf and kept punishing him for sneaking out whenever the pack needed him. Judging by the smile she had she might indeed be kinder to her son.

Billy too seemed happy by the possible peering, smiling at his old-time friend's happiness when Charlie wasn't looking. He didn't seem jealous at all, which seemed to prove something to me. It was unknown whose Embry's real father was, and Billy was a suspect, but I refused the notion after that night.

A lot of people talked to Billy, marvelling when he showed them he could indeed walk. He stayed in his chair most of the night though, probably for the convenience of having a chair wherever you went rather than having to stand or move your seat.

Too soon it was Sunday afternoon, and I had to go home. I felt irrationally scared, my heart was beating fast ever since the clock stroke 4 pm.

Jacob offered another night for me to stay, but I declined – I'd run out of clean underwear and my jeans were disgusting. Jake had let me borrow his shirts to wear, and offered that I just wear his shirts several times. I had slept in only his shirt and underwear on Saturday night; Jake seemed to enjoy that too much.

I felt jittery as soon as I was sure I was passed the Quileute border. My palms were sweating against the steering wheel and I imagined Edward would step out from behind every tree I passed, jump at my car in any second, Izzy by his side. Her red eyes had haunted my dreams, not angry or threatening but joyously happy and smug.

I was amazed that I got home without being attacked, even more amazed when I went inside and Edward wasn't there, in my room or elsewhere. Well, I was amazed at first, relieved, but then sad and angry. He really didn't want to see me, he was avoiding me now. I shouldn't have told him I didn't want to talk to him I would give anything to hear his voice.

I didn't cook, only heated up the frozen leftovers that were slowly depleting in number since Charlie had stopped working so hard. He had all but discarded the folders; there hadn't been even one death all week. I saw in the newspaper an article suspecting that Seattle serial killer may have left the city.

Charlie was interested when he heard of the suspected bombing of an empty warehouse. He had gotten very worried when he heard it, believing I could have been killed in a bombing the same night I was mugged. He forbade me to go to Seattle for the next few months or until he was sure the city wasn't a crime centre of the country anymore.

That was fine with me. If I ended up having a graduation party I think I would keep it local, too many bad things had happened when I had gone to other cities lately. I couldn't wait until I was indestructible and didn't have to worry about these things.

I gasped when this thought crossed my thoughts. Would, or could I still become a vampire? If Edward didn't want me, would any of the Cullens? Would Carlisle still change me? I dropped the plates I had been washing; they clashed loudly in the sink, thankfully not breaking. Had I lost my entire future? My knees went weak, I leaned against the counter so as to not fall.

"You right there Bells?" Charlie asked.

I nodded, smiling and shaking my head at myself. "They were just slippery, there's no problem." Charlie believed my lie easily, and moved off to the couch to watch some sort of sporting program in the television.

There was a problem though, a massive one. I washed our largest knife, feeling it was not in my hands, but having had enough fun twisting in my heart it had decided to slice down my torso. I felt empty inside, like every small remaining part of me has been slowly, painfully removed.

I made some excuse to Charlie, not feeling my body as I moved to my bedroom. I felt dead, my future life slipping out of my fingers. How did I survive before I came to this world, knowing I would grow old, get diseases, could be killed at any second?

I had showered already at Jake's, so I went straight to my bedroom, barely seeing anything around me. So this is what book-Bella felt like when Edward was away – with no hope he would come back – like a zombie.

I opened the door, and almost dropped to the ground, I only just bit back my gasp. Edward was standing there, perfect and gorgeous as ever, more than handsome. I had two immediate reactions that I had to suppress, one of those was to attack him with my gift and make him jump out of the window, the other was to run and throw myself at him.

I did none of those things, instead standing as still as I could, not reacting further to the fact he was there. I all but ignored him. Unfortunately I could only keep this staying still, so I stood in the doorway, unmoving.

I blinked and Edward was gone, then I felt cold on my waist and found myself a metre forward, the door closed, and Edward resuming his previous position. "Bella," his voice was so smooth and deep, "we are going to talk."

I crossed my arms, tilting my head and raised an eyebrow. I didn't trust myself to say anything witty or sharp. I kept thinking this was how Jacob and Edward both used to feel, I hated it when they snapped at me. I would be calm while Edward spoke, show him I was just as good as that other Bella.

"Bella, I need to explain."

"So talk," my voice was blank. Somehow that made him cringe more than when I had yelled at him in my truck on Friday.

"I knew you'd jump to conclusions," he muttered, exasperated. "If only you hadn't gone to the reservation this weekend, I would have had time to explain, to show you."

I took a deep breath, sighing and forcing a small smile on my face. I walked passed him and sat on my bed, patting beside me. I wouldn't be angry – I promise myself not to be angry and overreact. If Jacob could be civil so could I.

"We have time now," I said softly.

He moved slowly to sit beside me, hesitantly. And he sat far from me, almost as far as he could on the bed. That hurt, I bit the side of my mouth to keep a tear from falling. I would not cry either.

"Bella," he began, "Isabella is a newborn. She is only days old, she needed to learn how to be a vampire. After you came back from Seattle, after I learned what you had _really_ been doing, I was a little ... angry.

"I was already out hunting, so when Carlisle left I didn't notice. Then I realized he was gone and returned to the house. I was so confused and worried, I wanted to run to your house and check if you were back yet but I knew that you wanted me to hunt and it was probably good for me. My eyes had been pretty black."

His eyes were light gold now, swimming and beautiful, but I was focusing on his words, bracing myself for when he announced his new mate – Izzy. "I waited, waited until Carlisle came back. I heard his thoughts, I got angry. Esme is making me pay for the wall. I almost ran to find you, to shake you until you realized how stupid you had been. I didn't want to risk hurting you in my anger, so I stayed back at home, sick with worry. I knew you were alive, were fine, but I wanted to see it for myself, check for broken bones, sooth your bruises."

I hated how what he said was affecting me, it sounded like he still cared really strongly for me. I suppose at the time he was describing he did. I hoped he still cared a little about me, if just for old times' sake.

"Then Rosalie came home, and with her was a newborn." The remains of my heart felt like there was acid being poured over it, soon it would be nothing, a hole. "Her eyes were glowing red, I knew she was days old. I was still angry, still knew my body needed blood even if I could not feel it. I decided it would be better to cool off, find something to take my mind off you. I decided to teach her – it would give the other couples a time to talk to each other, explain what happened, and revel in their victory. I didn't want to hear their celebratory acts.

"Izzy is a fast learner, and amazingly controlled for a newborn. She said she never like blood in her human life – it would make her spew – and I think that's why she has such self-control. You saw her before; she stood beside you and didn't try to kill you even before you took away her thirst."

Yes, he was starting to compliment her. He was trying to explain why he was choosing her instead of me, showing how amazing she was. I gritted my teeth and made sure not to drop the small smile on my face, though now I was sure it was bordering on a grimace.

"I also cannot read her mind, ever since the first second I saw her I couldn't read her mind. I have no idea why, maybe I can only read certain people's minds. Like your brain and her brain run on different frequencies. Except I don't know about that, because I once heard your thoughts."

I remembered that, when Edward was running from me. That had been instinctual; somehow my gift had lifted something or moved something that had let him hear my thoughts. I hadn't considered it before, never went further into researching that part of my gift.

"She is very kind, smart, and funny. It was so unexpected for a newborn – Jasper was adamant that this was just a ruse; once we trusted her she would turn and attack the humans. I refuted that after a long talk with her. She is the most human newborn – human vampire – I've ever met that has no mate."

Has no mate, no mate, no mate, the words swirled in my head. He said has, not had, has as in presently. Hope somehow rose in me from some recess of myself I hadn't been aware existed. My inhale came a little like a gasp, but I made sure my exhale sounded normal.

"I liked her, and I wanted to protect her, make sure she could protect herself. She hadn't yet decided whether she wanted to stay with us or become a nomad – I actually hadn't asked her yet – when you came.

"I almost died when I saw those tears in your eyes, your face contorted in such pain. I thought the dog had died or something and that was why you were so sad. I wanted to run to you, to kiss away the pain, but Izzy was there and she had never been so close to a human before. She had stopped herself when she smelt a hiker and ran after them, but you were metres away from her. I had to stay by her side, in case she couldn't control herself.

"And she did control herself – and I was so proud of her, my student who I had taught well. I hadn't realized you had made assumptions until you said, 'I guess that's common for those that you love. Or used to love...'

"I was shocked, my mind had gone blank. How could you have believed I had stopped loving you?" His voice was almost outraged; the slight blankness in his eyes as he had recalled the past was gone, now he focused on me, grabbing my arms. "How could you think my love would ever change? I was still trying to think straight, to understand when you were already on the highway."

"I ran after you, and when I found you in your car... You were so angry, so sad, and I knew you felt betrayed. I wanted to explain it to you, explain what had happened like I am doing now, but you were so angry. You wouldn't see reason, and your anger started to fuel mine. You were jealous, and angry, and I realized how you must feel in the situation was exactly how I felt, every day you run off to the dog.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, but what I said was true. You said you were going to agree to marry me, yet instead of talking with me you went to the reservation. It was like you had torn out my heart and intended on making a stew from it and feeding yourself and the werewolves with it.

"Izzy was there for me, I talked to her about our situation. She took your side," he grinned sadly, eyes falling to the ground. "She's been berating me all weekend. She forced me here tonight."

He looked back up to me, eyes burning, leaning closer and dropped his hands from my arms to seize my hands. "Bella, I don't love her like I love you. Yes, somehow she's wormed her way into my heart, but it's the same way Alice has forced me to love her. Izzy, well, she's like a sister to me. She's a good person, a good friend, but she is not my mate nor does she own my heart like you."

It was then I decided I wasn't going to control myself. I let the tears fall, let a sob burst from my lips. I squeezed his hands.

Edward immediately wrapped me in his arms, lifting me so he could cradle me on his lap. "Bella, what's wrong? Bella, please tell me."

I couldn't answer, I didn't trust my voice. Instead I turned my head and kissed him - that was all the answer I could muster. My tears were not of sadness, they were of intense relief and happiness. He still loved me, he hadn't moved on to the other Isabella. He still, inexplicably, loved me.

I moved my head back, trying to express all the love I had for him through my eyes. It didn't seem enough to me. I knew what I wanted to do, what he had said had made me remember. I pushed my thoughts out, shouted the images and feelings I had at him.

Edward's eyes widened in that fraction of a second I managed to let him hear. It was only a fraction; I couldn't maintain it any longer. It was enough, because Edward was looking at me with so much love in his eyes that I melted.

He attacked me that time, crushing his hard lips against mine. I kissed him back, trying to display my love for him in that kiss. His lips too turned gentler, moving slowly against mine. He moved his hands, to my head, running his fingers through my hair. One of my hands stroked the back of his neck, the other moved along his jaw. I revelled in the feeling of his silky smooth hair, his polished stone skin, his hard, cold, thick arms around me, his sculpted body curling to try and make my soft one more comfortable.

I didn't care if my leg was being squished between his knees. He didn't have to make me comfortable. My whole body was meant to be with his, it almost hummed, almost purred to be in his arms. I was not whole when I was not with him.

It crashed down on me then, a full blown crash. I pulled back from Edward, gasping.

I had always thought more of me belonged to Jacob than book-Bella. I always thought it was about 3:1 ratio of Edward's Bella to Jacob's. I realized now that was not the case. As much as I loved Jacob (which seemed to dwindle by the minute) I loved Edward exponentially more. I needed to be with him, or I would die.

Before I had thought I loved Jacob because I always knew that when I came home Edward would be waiting. When I thought I had lost Edward I had broken down. If a quarter of me was Jacob's then maybe I wouldn't have been such a mess, wouldn't have resulted in what I did.

Jacob's Bella wasn't me, she didn't exist. There was only the Bella in me who knew Jacob loved me, and wanted to make him feel better. She loved him, and it wasn't even like she would love a brother or a best friend, she did love him romantically, but even she wasn't owned by Jacob. I was Edward's, all Edward's. I just wanted to see Jacob happy as well.

"Bella, what is it?" Edward asked. He shifted me to the side so I could sit on the bed. It was only slightly more comfortable, but it wasn't what my body wanted – especially after my new revelation.

"I have to talk to Jacob, tell him there is no chance of us ever being together. I think his hopes were raised this weekend. I did make some assumptions and he would be stupid not to guess what had me like that."

"You're going back to the dog already?" Edward pouted.

I shook my head, grinning a little. "No, right now I think I have found something better to do."

We kissed slowly and gently until I was tired enough to sleep. I curled up onto his chest, and dreamed happy dreams for the first time in what felt like months.

888

School was... it wasn't amazing. The teachers watched me suspiciously. I mustn't have noticed how they had acted on Thursday of Friday; they were looking at me with annoyance and a slight amount of anger in their eyes. When anyone made a question about something we had supposed to have learned on Tuesday of Wednesday they rolled their eyes, sent a specific look my way, before answering.

Edward smirked at every encounter. I asked him what they were thinking, and he refused to tell me. He found my interest equally as funny and my pouting and slight tantrum at the fact he was keeping it from me made him bemused.

I didn't press him though. I felt really bad now, like our positions had switched. Ever since he had left me I always had something to hold against him (as bad as that was). Now he had something against me, or a whole army of somethings.

That was my deciding factor in telling Jacob. Edward had promised to let me see Jacob as much as I wanted after he left me – now I think that promise had been fulfilled. I couldn't hurt Edward anymore, and as much as I didn't want Jacob hurting I think the effort to find him an imprint wasn't happening, I was just letting him attach more stings to me that would hurt us both when they broke.

Edward thought it was silly of me to think he wouldn't allow visits to Jacob. Somehow, as much as he hated Jacob (I knew how that felt now) he wouldn't want him hurting because he knew it would hurt me. Jacob didn't really feel that, but that was probably because he was less mature and his understanding of mine and Edward's relationship wasn't as clear.

I felt amazingly guilty for Jacob – far guiltier than the Victoria and newborn situation. My headache that had resulted from the emotion was large and throbbing, I was tempted to turn off my own pain receptors but as no one was carrying me I thought the side effects may not be worth it (I may step on glass and not notice or something along the lines). Anyway, I deserved the pain, I knew how much Jacob probably felt and it sucked balls for him. Maybe I'd even let him fight me a couple of times again; a few bruises won't hurt me.

I really wish I could find him a great girl. He is one of the sweetest kindest guys I know, and pretty damn good-looking to boot. I would have to find a pretty chick for him, who is just as good on the inside as on the out.

I wonder if there is still a nice girl stirring somewhere inside Leah. I wonder if she would consider dating someone so many years her junior. Jake certainly didn't look his age.

But I knew Leah hated me, she despised me for reasons I didn't even know of. I hoped she would find someone too; her heart had been shattered by Sam and needed someone to make it whole again before it got even more infected.

So, still those things to do on my list – as well as get married, and somehow graduate... Yay (cue tired laugh)!

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><p><strong>So Izzy isn't all bad, I still don't like her but that's me personally, I'm sure once I write more about her I'll like her more.<strong>

**Review, I love your input, and I'll try to answer any questions (though most I may have to still keep secret to leave some suspense)**


	30. Necessary Pain

**Thanks for the amazing reviews, I cherish every one of them. I'm glad you guys now understand. We're approaching the end of the story - about three more chapters left.**

**Okay guys, I need to say that I'm going to be away for the next two weeks (winter holidays). I will try to write, but I don't think I'll have any internet. **

**Sorry, you may have to wait.**

**Read on guys.**

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><p>29. Necessary Pain<p>

I wanted to put it off, I wanted to leave him with time to still be happy, still be hopeful. But I knew now what each day had to bring him, how much pain each shred of hope caused when it was crushed. I wouldn't prolong that pain, not if I could do something about it.

I went to school on Monday, and everyone stared just as much as they did when I stormed through the halls. They had all convinced themselves Edward had dumped me. A few guys still had the nerve to come up and ask me out... while Edward was THERE! This time I kept my fists to myself, instead smiling sweetly before making out with Edward. He played along, groaning a little more than was necessary, while I moaned. He even let me push him up against a locker.

When we were both panting – mine real, Edward's mostly fake – I turned back to the gawking guys, smile just as sugar sweet as before and said. "Sorry guys, I'm actually a lesbian."

They had realized my sarcasm – for once – and had all but run away when Edward imitated my smile. It was more frightening with his perfectly white, sharp teeth.

That afternoon I almost decided against it, against explain to Jacob he needed to get a better girl and stop pining after someone already taken. Well, I might put it into gentler terms, but essentially that was what I would be doing. Essentially I would be pulling out the dagger I had subconsciously pushed into his heart. At first it would bleed more, would hurt, but then it would have the chance to heal.

It was cruel, but it needed to be done. The sooner the better, the longer he would have to heal and more chance to find his own girl.

So I farewelled Edward, and drove to the grocery store. I decided it might be better to get Jake a peace offering, just to soften the blow. I knew it would be like having a pillow for protection when someone aimed a catapult, but it couldn't hurt.

Armed with several grocery bags full of sugary snacks, nuts, chips, soft drinks and chocolates I approached Jacob's house.

Billy was waiting outside when I turned the corner, the least shaky on his feet I had ever seen. Jacob was waiting beside him, grinning widely.

It took the first two seconds I came out of the truck for the smile to drop. I could almost hear the hope dwindling from him as understanding dawned in him. "You're still with him," he assumed softly.

I guess I must have looked too happy to have still been split with Edward. For what it was worth after Jake's smile fell I felt my own face twist with sadness and apology. I could feel my eyes prickle with the threat of tears. Maybe it would be better to shed them, show him I hated hurting him as much as he hated being hurt. "Yeah," was all I could say.

Jacob took a deep breath, the trembling of his hands the only indicator he wasn't the calm his face expressed. "Why are you here then, Bella?"

Billy looked to me and his son and back again. He looked worried and was ringing his hands. "I'm tired; I'm going to go inside. Bella, Jacob, maybe you'll want to take this somewhere more private?"

"Beach?" one word was enough.

Jacob nodded, opening his eyes. I jumped back into my truck, Jacob slid into the passenger seat. We didn't talk, even when Jake spotted my supplied. We just listened to the radio as I drove; at least it was a very short drive.

It was awkward in the silence after I parked, turning off the engine. Jake made no move to step outside, and neither did I. I leaned back in my seat, rubbing at my temples. I couldn't afford to think about my headache at that moment. I couldn't allow myself to feel anger at Jacob, or even annoyance, because everything he did was nowhere near as bad as what I had done.

Jacob sighed and started rummaging through the plastic bags, smiling softly when he saw a bag of salt and vinegar chips. "You remembered."

I nodded. "You want to eat this stuff on the shore?" I offered.

Jake nodded, grabbing all the bags. He didn't seem to notice how awkward the large load was, somehow able to find a way out of the car without smashing the bags against the sides twenty times like I was likely to do. I smiled as I followed him, managing to hit my elbow from watching his back.

We sat for a while, the food untouched. I rolled a packet of Pringles in my hands, pursing my lips. Jacob's eyes watched me, face blank. He was tense all over, and just the hint of his downturned lips was all I needed to be able to read him. He was bracing himself, preparing himself for something he knew would be painful.

I gritted my teeth, turning fully towards him now, not just peeking up at him from behind my hair and eyelashes.

"Jacob, I have to tell you something..." I started, dropping my eyes to my hands. I couldn't look him in the eye as I removed the knife.

"Yeah, I kind of thought it might be like that."

I closed my eyes as I heard the mocking in his voice that was a mask to hide his pain. I don't think all the chocolates and salt and vinegar chips in the world would help me now. I took in shaky breath, focusing on my lungs widening rather than the fragile boy next to me I was about to shatter.

I forced my words out quickly, almost in a rush, lest I begin to doubt myself and withdraw like the coward I was inside, run with my tail between my legs. No, I wouldn't run, but taking it slow was an unnecessary risk.

"Jacob, Edward was never with the newborn, he was just training her. I was being silly and overreacting. He couldn't contact me until yesterday, he explained.

"He still loves me, and I love him. Jacob, we're getting married! I've always loved him. This weekend just showed me how much I live him. I could never live without him Jake – a few days and I contemplated killing myself.

"I realize I loved you Jacob, I still do. It's not enough though. I can't even excuse myself by saying I always thought of you as a family member, because you are more than that Jacob. I know you will probably hate me for doing this, but not as much as I hate myself everyday for what I put you through.

"I can't be with you Jake. You can't even let yourself hope for it. Please, please stop looking at me and open your eyes to everyone else! You don't even realize how much of a stud you really are, any girl would be stupid to refuse you and the luckiest to have you. I can't have even a small hold on you anymore Jacob, not romantically.

"This will be good for you Jacob, you'll see that eventually. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you, all the wounds, but now you can heal them. I will always love you Jacob, but there is someone out there who will love you more, and you deserve that love."

Jacob had been silent the whole speech, his black eyes burning on my face. I brought my eyes up to his, aware my tears had decided to fall after all. I had been so intent on trying to make him see reason, see he shouldn't love me, that I hadn't noticed them.

Jake reached out when he saw the tears, moving his hands slowly to my face so I would have time to pull away. I didn't, and his warm hands cupped my face, thumbs gently rubbing under my eyes and wiping away the salty water leaking from them.

"I'm glad you don't cry often, Bella. It doesn't suit you." Jacob's joke made me smile, and I gasped an almost hysterical laugh while the tears flowed a little faster.

"You can hate me if you want, Jacob. You don't have to be okay with this."

Jacob sighed, brushing the hair that had fallen into my eyes out of the way. He didn't release my face. Should I pull back? Would it be easier for him if I started cutting the ties between us?

"Bells," he whispered, "I love you, and I wish it would make a difference. I understand Bella, as much as it pains me to admit it, I think you need to be with Edward." I was surprised by how gentle his tone was. "He's like a drug for you, Bella. I see that you can't live without him now. I could see it this past week, even _you_ couldn't hide that pain." I smiled softly; he thinks I'm an amazing actor, that I can always hide things. "It's too late for you, Bella. I would have been healthier for you. Nat a drug; I would have been the air, the sun."

I bit my lip as more tears came, the edges of my mouth trying to both remain in a smile and pull down in a pout. "I used to think of you that way – as a sun. My own personal sun; you kept most of the clouds away for me."

"The clouds I can handle, but I can't fight with an eclipse."

My mouth decided its choice with those words, pulling into a smile. I remembered that line from the book. I realized now that I didn't like how true it was.

"The thing that hurts the most is that I knew what would have been. I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been easy for us – comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken if the world was as it was supposed to be, if there were no monster, no magic..."

"No," I said softly, closing my eyes as the tears flowed faster. Those words hurt me; they hurt me a lot, because if this world was as it was meant to be I wouldn't be here. A girl who came from another universe, who knew what was going to happen before it did, who had a biography of her now future life – that girl didn't belong in this world. The real person for Jake was...

I gasped loudly, the idea smashing into my brain like a wrecking ball. Jake wasn't meant to be with me, he was meant to be with Izzy, book-Bella, the real person he was soul mates with. I realized I was smiling widely now, the tears had stopped. Jake was watching me, confused, and slightly hurt it seemed.

"No," I repeated, the smile almost painful. "I know you were not meant to be with me, you're soul mate is somewhere else." I was about to blurt it was Izzy, then I stopped suddenly, it dawned on me.

Jake had seen her before. She had attacked him. Jake had looked into her eyes, and nothing had happened. He hadn't imprinted.

"Bella, what are you talking about?" Jake asked.

I grimaced again; I still couldn't find Jacob someone. Tears once again fell from my eyes. I gulped loudly, quickly changing what I was about to say. "I can't be your soul mate – it is cruel to think who you were meant to be with would be taken away from you. No, I think I was meant to be with Edward. I know you'll find your girl, your other half, and then you'll thank me for this."

"It will be a while before that happens, and you don't have a long while." Jacob was grimacing slightly now, I knew he was talking of my change.

I couldn't think of giving him up when I was a vampire. I knew he would hate me; his instincts would be to kill me, and likely the same for me towards him. But Jacob was more than my best friend, I couldn't think of never again seeing his smile, never again see his wolf, his russet skin, never again be crushed in one of his hugs. "I'll always want to be your friend, even when you think I won't be me."

Jacob sighed, releasing my face to pull me into his arms. "Maybe," he said eventually, almost sighing. "Maybe I will too. After all, you'll be even hotter then."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically, but my grin was real. "It's nice to know you only keep me around for my looks."

"'Course," Jacob scoffed, but he was teasing too. "It makes all the other guys jealous. What guy wouldn't want a model at his side?"

"What girl wouldn't want a guy with an eight-pack?"

"See Bella, you are exactly like me."

"You know what they say, opposites attract."

He looked down at me, pulling me closer and placing his chin on top of me head. "I don't like opposites."

He wrapped his arms around my waist, holding my own hands in his own in my lap. He rubbed circles on the back of my hands in his thumb, I settling back into his chest. I grinned as the shifting disturbed one of the grocery bags, the rustle of the plastic bag reminding me of its contents. "You know, all that food isn't going to eat itself."

888

A lot of food and eating later (and a heck of a lot of willpower on my part to _not _eat) and we were back at Jake's place. Half way through the bags we had returned to his home, and watched some TV while we ate and talked.

Jake wanted to know a little more about being a vampire, and about the wedding. I had my share of repressed grimaces, but answered most of his questions. Most, I tried to keep the bad sides of being a vampire on the down low. I was sure when I was a vampire my gift would be strong enough to remove my own thirst.

I also told him of what I wanted to do when I became a vampire. I explained how in all the free time I had at night I would have time to try and find cures for diseases, causes for cancers, explain things I never could as a human. I told him of how much brain capacity a vampire had.

"So you're not just changing for him?" Jake said after he seemed to have asked all the questions he had at that time.

"Well, I wouldn't want to live forever without him, it is the main reason I am changing, all the other things are just little... perks I guess."

Jacob nodded, frowning; his campaign for me to stay human had all but disintegrated.

"When?" he asked, I knew he wanted to know when I would change.

"After the wedding," I explained, "which will be after graduation."

Jacob sighed, and when his eyes roamed the room they focused on the clock. "You should probably get back to your vampire now. I am officially playing good now."

I nodded, not liking the dreaded feeling that had dawned in me when I thought of leaving. I hoped he wouldn't run, I prayed he wouldn't run. "Jacob, see you later?"

"I guess," he said softly. He stood, pulling me up beside him and holding me tight in a hug. He took a large inhale before he released me. He didn't need to say anything; I knew he wanted me to go before he tried to convince himself and then me that I should stay.

I drove home feeling both relieved and sad. And happy, always, happy, because I knew Edward was at the other end of the journey.

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><p><strong>Poor Jacob<strong>

**Sorry it was a short chapter, but I needed to end it there.**

**Review guys, please! If you get me enough reviews (15 maybe) I might post the rest of the story when I get back.**


	31. Dating

**Hey guys, thanks for all the amazing reviews while I was gone, and sorry I couldn't update sooner.**

**There's only a few more chapters left in this book, and I'm currently nearing the end of the honeymoon in Riding down her Road (god I can't tell you how hard and embarrassing it was to write the few citrus chapters). I was writing as often as I could in the past two weeks - I don't need internet to do that.**

**So, sorry for the long A/N, this chapter is mostly recounting I think **

**Read on**

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><p>30. Dating<p>

The next few weeks, months were almost boring. Well, not boring, but there was no attacks from vampires, no visits from the Volturi, no fight between the wolves and the Cullens. I guess it was a nice kind of boring, a comfortable kind of monotony.

School was school, teachers too scared to mark me down but didn't mind giving me a glare or two and making me answer almost every question. Guys in the school stopped asking me out, and my friends were all amazingly stressed about college and finals.

We didn't go out after word spread of what had happened to me. Charlie had to tell someone I had gotten mugged. For a few days people had asked to see my bruises, but since I had been a thundercloud the days after and gone on the weekend most of the bruises had healed by that time.

My finals were, I will admit, hard. Especially after the year of not listening, but Edward was a far better teacher than those who worked at Forks, so I learned quickly. My results were surprisingly good – Charlie was proud of my improvement (he had tried to forget the fact the teachers had acted unlawfully; he pretended I just hadn't done well). My grades from those times had been restored, but were not as good as had I been fully trying. I had known they would give me bad grades, so didn't make them A plus worthy.

Despite this Edward was trying to get me into any college he could. I think I spent half my time with him writing out applications. Well, half of my time around Charlie anyway – I wouldn't waste the time I had with him at night. I was still trying to convince him the honeymoon was too long a wait, though graduation was only about a week away now. The time had flown in that comfortable monotony.

I worried a lot about Jacob; he was taking most of the patrol shifts and staying out of school to sleep. When Billy called Charlie I got my chance to hear about what happened when I was not around.

Billy was doing remarkably; it had been almost a few months since I had healed him. Charlie had been amazed at his recovery – in all the years he had seen Billy in his wheel chair he was astounded that now was the time his friend decided to test his limits and re-learn how to walk. Billy's legs were not as skinny now, the muscles were slowly growing. He could walk unaided now, and was trying to learn how to jog, run, and play sport.

Charlie spent a lot of time with Billy as he learned to play basketball. I had watched a match once, Billy had complained to me about how easy my father was going on him, how it wasn't very fun when Charlie kept a three feet distance at all times. It was more netball with dribbling than basketball. Charlie didn't want to risk hurting Billy and maybe sending him back in the wheelchair.

Billy kept the chair for when he was tired. I understood that he didn't want to overstrain his leg muscles.

Charlie's work had died down considerably; the murders in Seattle were now considered a cold case. There was no evidence anyway; I doubted anyone unaware of vampires would ever find any understanding of it.

Charlie had plenty of time to encourage me to go to La Push. Billy had told him Jake was having a hard time. I could guess why.

I was withdrawing myself from Jacob's life. I knew it would be better for him in the long run. Well, I was withdrawing slowly, I only saw him thrice a week now. Before I had been seeing him almost every day – it was hard for both of us to deal with the separation.

When I was around him he kept his promise. He played good, only being my friend. Still I saw his gazes when he thought I wasn't watching, and I knew he was not close to getting over me. He acted like he was okay, like he was just my friend, but we both knew that was not the case.

I would try to go less often, but I mostly went to La Push when Edward was busy. It still sparked jealousy in me when Izzy and Edward hung out (though it was more of a teacher/student relationship). Izzy was quite shy; she preferred to learn things with Edward. It wasn't that she didn't like the other Cullens, but wasn't as close to them as she was to Edward. Whenever she needed to learn something she preferred to do it in front of Edward rather than Emmett for example. I could relate, my first meeting with the family was awkward too, but I got through it with my link to Edward. She had no mate in the existing coven.

One of Jake's first questions to me each time I went to La Push now was, 'What's Izzy learning now?'

Izzy was now quite well acquainted with the Cullens, and knew enough about being a vampire now that the call-outs to Edward were less frequent. I relied mostly on Charlie to give me excuses to see Jake now. Charlie went to La Push a heck of a lot actually; it was strange because he wasn't always with Billy – with Harry Clearwater perhaps?

Izzy was actually involving herself in the planning for my wedding – not as exuberantly as Alice though. My wedding would be very soon after graduation. Very, very soon after graduation; I was very impatient.

I hadn't yet announced it to the community, or even to my parents. I would break it to Charlie on graduation; he'd be happiest then and hopefully wouldn't be full out angry.

Billy knew though, but he was sworn to secrecy. Jake must have let it slip – or one of the pack members. Jake couldn't hide a huge amount when his thoughts were out in the open.

The pack watched me a little unhappily now, almost sympathetic. It was like they thought I had cancer or something. Paul was bordering mad at me, but he had calmed down dramatically when his imprint had arrived.

Jacob's sister was quite beautiful, with large eyes and russet skin, her silky black hair reached down to her shoulders. She was about medium height and slender. I hadn't been around when Paul had bumped into her, but apparently he had tried to track her down to see if he really had imprinted on her. Quil and Embry had told me he had stopped in his tracks and gawked, almost panting. Rachel had hidden behind her younger brother, frightened of the massive man who was staring at her.

Rachel had been disbelieving at first when the wolves explained to her the legends she had grown up hearing. She had thought all the guys were just pulling some huge prank on her. She didn't understand though why the guys she had babysat, guys that were years younger than her (four in Paul's case) suddenly looked like they were older than her. In fact, the day she had gone to Forks she had apparently thought her little brother was taking steroids.

Roids wouldn't explain the height, though they could explain the rage if you thought about it.

The first time I saw her she had been stiff; she had obviously been talking to Jacob about the pack when I walked in, but soon adopted very vague words and knowing looks. I had smiled when Jake explained that I had known. Rachel had gotten angry that I had been informed before Jake's own flesh and blood was.

That was the first reason Rachel didn't like me. The next time I went to La Push she glared at me, crossing her arms and straightening like she thought she was a foot taller than me. She watched me talked to Jacob like she was his mother. Jake had pulled me away, telling Rachel Paul needed her when she started to follow. He explained why his sister didn't like me, and I agreed with her. She didn't like me because I was hurting her brother; her protectiveness was bursting out and rearing its catty claws.

I told Jacob not to worry about me; an angry human wasn't the most dangerous thing in my books. Still, I told Jake to hide Billy's guns, I couldn't stop a bullet.

Rachel, when not glaring at me, seemed awkward and sad in La Push. She didn't like it there, where memories of her mother could torment her. Paul was trying to calm down so he could move away with her – their relationship had gone from fear of a stranger to love of her life in a matter of days. I almost felt sorry for Paul – he had to leave everything behind. Then again, I couldn't blame Rachel – I had never lost a parent, only gained better ones. I don't think I would care if my old parents died. I wonder if they lived in this universe at all – I wondered if Edward would mind if they were my first and only slips.

I shivered a little at my own brutality in that thought.

"Bella?" whispered Edward at my side. I had zoned out in class. Finals were over anyway, all we were doing was watching a movie – more of a slideshow really – of many photos and videos of this year's senior class through the years.

I turned to my concerned vampire, smiling softly. "It's just a little cold," I explained. Unfortunately this made Edward scoot over a little. I frowned and moved my chair closer to his. It was cold, but I didn't care, I wanted Edward's cold arm against mine, our knees touching under the table.

Edward sighed, exasperated, but also grinning. He knew how stubborn I was. I made Izzy look docile; I had found she was a mule in her own right. Then again, sometimes I saw her looking like the mother of donkeys, and I seemed to obedient, convincible one.

I wanted to know why though, she had no stubborn Charlie influence, but Edward wouldn't tell me about her past. I would have to ask her myself, and honestly her glowing eyes and a tiny lingering amount of fear and hate at her relationship with Edward made it hard for me to approach her – alone anyway.

"Okay class," the teacher said, turning off the film and turning the lights on. There was a collective moan as everyone blinked and rubbed at their eyes, adjusting to the sudden brightness. "Have a great weekend and remember graduation is next week so I hope you have your plans in order. High school was just a stepping stone to the rest of your life."

While the teacher's corny words incited groans from the rest of the class, I couldn't help but see a supreme truth to the words and my situation. My life would start after high school, well my life as a vampire would.

888

I got home from school that day, expecting to see Charlie (he usually finished work on Fridays earlier) but instead I found a note in his messing handwriting. _At La Push, _I realized it said after a careful inspection, _I'll be back after dinner if you don't come up._

I frowned up at Edward, who had read the note as fast as it took me to blink. He was now looking down at me, pouting more like. "You want to go to La Push don't you?"

I sighed, letting my head fall back and my shoulders slump. "Well, I don't have to go now – but I'm a little confused as to why Charlie wouldn't have waited for me."

Edward turned me around, so he could straight down at me rather than have us both trying to peer over my shoulder. He took my hands, a happy albeit small smile on his perfect lips. I didn't question the expression, it was much like the one he usually wore in my presence, if more subdued. I was sure my face adopted a similar expression whenever I was around or even thinking of him. I almost took it for granted – well, no, I was still amazed by the love in his gorgeous eyes, still amazing thankful I had somehow still with him. But still, the expression was such a commonplace that I rarely took its meaning for something else.

This time it seemed different though as he led me to the couch, as for once the happiness didn't seem to contain love. He seemed almost relieved in the happiness, a little furrow formed on my brow. "Bella, I haven't told you this yet, because I wanted to give your father the opportunity to do it."

"What?" I was legitimately confused now, and a little worried. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Edward's smile widened. "Something is amazingly right."

"Can you tell me?"I asked and Edward shook his head. "Can you give me a hint?" He shook his head again. "Please," Edward grinned, continuing to silently refuse me while leaning in to place a soft kiss on my lips.

"But," he whispered, cool breath fanning against my face, "I can distract you so the wait won't be as long." He started to kiss me, and I lost my train of thought for a few seconds.

I had to pull back and put my hands against his lips to focus, he was a very good distraction. "So, whatever this surprise is he is going to bring home?"

Edward smiled, pulling me closer but not kissing me. His body so close was distraction enough. "Well, he is hoping you'll find him first, so he won't have to explain himself as much, but yes – tonight he will... enlighten you I guess. Charlie's quite stubborn, and since he's already decided he won't back out. We have a fair bit of time though..." Edward trailed off, leaning closer, somehow his eyes were smirking.

Have I ever expressed how sexy I found a smirk?

888

I was very distracted. In fact, the only reason I found any reason to stop was when my stomach rumbled. Edward refused to continue until I had eaten something. I grumbled while I defrosted and cooked some fish to go with my salad. Edward didn't comment on my dietary choice – he had probably guessed by now I was trying to lose weight. Sometimes he complained I was easier to break when all my bones were sticking out when he held me. Alice was the one who complained the most at the weight loss. She said she would have to take in my wedding dress at this rate.

I had finished my food, the empty plate was sitting in the sink and I was cuddled up to Edward's side on the couch, watching a repeat episode of Friends. Edward was watching me, watching my smiles, and soon my eyes were no longer on the screen either – they were much more entertained by the burning golden eyes holding them in place.

I don't know how long I stayed like that, memorizing his face, the curve of his lips, the way his eyes twinkled and pulled up at the sides in a smile. Like they themselves were smiling. But it didn't last forever, as soon he was pulling me off the couch, circling his arm around my waist and leading me to the door.

"Is this the surprise?"

Edward nodded, pulling me close for a second before stepping to the side. The distance was annoying but necessary if Charlie was going to be in the room, well if we wanted a happy Charlie in the room.

I heard a very woman-like giggle outside the door, and tried not to frown. What was Charlie up to? I heard my own father's chuckle outside, deep and with a heart-warming amount of happiness. I resolved myself to accept anything that was outside that door. It had to be good if it made him that happy. Well, as long as it wasn't drugs or beer I would accept it – I knew both could make anyone extremely happy.

Charlie struggled with the key for a few seconds, the jingling sound made me tense with suspense.

Then the door opened, and my face broke into an immediate grin. Jeez, it was so obvious, why hadn't I guessed before. It all clicked in my head now, and I could guess what Charlie's surprise was.

Charlie himself looked a little scared when he saw both me and Edward watching. Well, he didn't actually look at Edward, so he seemed more scared of me. The woman at his side didn't look scared at all, she was clinging to Charlie's arm with a wide smile for me. "Hello Bella," Tiffany Call greeted.

"Hello Miss Call," I grinned back at her, before turning back to Charlie. "Are you going to stand on the porch all day or are you going to come in?"

Charlie blushed, gesturing for the lady to go first. Aw, my father was a gentleman. Tiffany looked at her feet, grinning as she stepped inside. She almost looked shy. I remember when Edward was first like that to me, I think I did the same – or did I panic because I was falling in love with the vampire already?

Charlie closed the door, and helped Tiffany out of her coat, removing his own after. Then he took the woman's hand, smiling at the joined hands, and then turning to me. "Bella, I – we – have something to tell you."

I tried to keep the happy smile off my face – after all, there was still the possibility it was not what I was guessing – a very slim possibility.

"Bells," Charlie said carefully, like he thought I was a dangerous animal with the habit of spontaneously attacking, "Tiffany and I are dating."

I didn't respond, because inside my head I was doing a happy dance – silently whooping and jumping up and down. My father had a girlfriend; he wouldn't be the lonely almost sad man who lived only for his daughter and work. Well, maybe that was harsh, but ever since Renee left him he had missed something – a lonely bachelor. I didn't need to have been there to know that, I didn't even need to have read that part in the books to know that.

But now that I thought about it, that emptiness didn't seem to be about him nowadays. No he had an almost glow. I had been comparing it to when he was a workaholic, and didn't realize he has been better than before James was killed.

I didn't know Tiffany, or if she had previously been lonely either, but I could almost see the glow in her too – the way she squeezed Charlie's hand, the way her eyes sparkled, the way she was almost leaning on him, like the hand-holding was too far a distance.

You could see the love they had for each other, like a flashing neon sign above their heads.

"Bells?" my father looked a little more worried, and I could feel he was tense, his heart beating a little faster than usual. It was like I was his mother and he was the son producing his new high school girlfriend, seeking approval.

I giggled a little, knowing soon I would be feeling what he did tenfold. "I'm happy for you two." I couldn't really say anything better in the situation, despite how cliché and almost corny it was.

The rest of the evening was spent with Charlie and Tiffany sitting on the lounge, Edward sitting on the love seat and I on the armrest as the two adults explained how their relationship had formed.

The day after I had stood up to me teachers – when Charlie had gone to La Push to fish, the two had met. They had met before, but not like this. One of the tyres on the car towing the boat hit a rock and went flat. They pulled to the curb of Tiffany's house.

Tiffany heard as Charlie struggled to change the tower in the mud while Billy yelled at him, telling him what to do and how stupid he was and that he was doing it wrong. Tiffany had come out and watched not two metres from them without either noticing. Charlie had turned only when he heard the giggling.

Tiffany ended up helping, and actually went fishing with the men after getting just as muddy and dirty as Charlie. They had talked a long time in the boat, while Billy complained the two were scaring away the fish.

"We just clicked," Tiffany explained, "even the silences were comfortable."

They went to her place for lunch that day. Charlie said her cooing was amazing. I had the feeling he would be telling anyone she was the best cook if not for the fact he realized he was talking to the daughter that had fed him for over a year now. Tiffany had grinned and winked at me, understanding his slight pause.

Edward was quiet the whole time, just the entity that held my hand. I actually didn't say that much either, as the two adults were looking each other in the eyes for the most part, narrating their experiences to the other. Their eyes were twinkling, both hands entwined between them.

It was ... just slightly sickening, but in a good way – the way when you're parents kiss in front of you (which I hadn't really experienced, only heard of – I never felt that disgust with my previous parents).

They had met up many more times after the tyre incident. It was unspoken but I could tell that with each visit their feelings for each other had grown.

Tiffany left soon after finishing recounting the tale. Charlie was grinning as she drove away, and blushed when he realized I was watching. He coughed and frowned, trying to hide his embarrassment by ordering Edward away.

I went to bed soon after, kissing Edward until I was tired enough to sleep.

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><p><strong>Aw, so Charlie's happy afterall, and we didn't need Harry Clearwater to die for it to happen<strong>

**Reviews make me happy guys, I'll try to update in the next three days**


	32. Preparations

**Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I forgot, and I almost forgot this morning, but here's the update.**

**This is the last chapter, next is the Epilogue**

**So read on!**

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><p>31. Preparations<p>

Edward took me to his house on Saturday. For some reason I felt wary – almost like he was taking me hostage. Was he just trying to keep me away from La Push? No, I knew he wouldn't do that, he always let me see Jacob. He was too kind that way – I wish Edward would just tell me to never see Jacob again so I had a legitimate reason to tell him I couldn't see him any longer. I couldn't rely on myself to make the decision – I wouldn't keep it. Sometimes it was easier to follow then to lead.

No, it was not that – but I could tell something was up. He kept looking at me sideways – and not in the I-can't-keep-my-eyes-off-of-you way that I was adopting and allowed me to see these glances. He also didn't let me go ever since he 'came' that morning (he only left for a few seconds to change before coming back and announce that he was officially there to Charlie). He always had his hand in mine, his arm across my shoulder, or a hand at the small of my back. It was almost like he was leading me, he seemed to be pushing me to hurry up, pulling me to my food and washing my dishes for me.

Charlie left after Edward asked me to go to his house, rolling his eyes and grumbling before telling me he was going to La Push. Edward was even worse after this – he didn't have to keep up the pretence of moving at a human pace.

I was very suspicious when he packed a bag of stuff for me, then full out worried when he pulled me from my seat, my half-drunk coffee sloshing inside the mug in my hands. "C'mon Bella," Edward said, his voice studiously silky and alluring, "you can drink that in my car."

I gasped. "You'd let me drink in your car? Heaven forbid if I accidently spilt it on the leather!"

Edward turned, his eyes narrowed, his smile more fake than convincing. "C'mon Bella," he repeated, though there was a stiffness in his voice – like an unspoken 'you wouldn't dare'.

"Edward, whatever it is I'm sure it can wait a few seconds." I braked as hard as I could, and Edward realized if he pulled me anymore I would likely fall forward onto my face. I skulled the now-warm coffee and moved slowly to chuck it into the sink.

Edward groaned, and I thought I heard him whisper, "Alice is going to kill me."

I frowned, rinsed the cup and placed it in the drying rack. Turning around and raising an eyebrow. Edward seemed to be pleading with his eyes, and his hand was outstretched in front of me. I sighed, taking it, and he immediately started dragging me, I had to jog to keep up.

He was slightly tense on the ride – I had my reason for all of this when I saw Alice almost jumping up and down on the driveway, an equally excited Esme at her side. I groaned – I had nothing against marrying Edward, that didn't mean I particularly liked having to be greatly involved in the planning. I was hoping to let Alice just run wild since I could not have my wedding on a sandy beach I had always dreamed of. Maybe that was for the best – it would not be a warm and sunny winter here and if it were I did kind of need Edward at the ceremony.

I squealed when Alice decided she couldn't wait for the car to park and pulled me out of the truck. Esme soon took my other arm, and I was suddenly under a torrent of faster than human speech about the wedding that seemed to be addressed to me but I could not make out. They both spoke at the same time as well. I let them lead me, almost let them carry me, and my legs tried to keep up with their pace as they whizzed me upstairs.

I kept trying to speak once I was in Alice's room, but kept being cut off by one whizzing vampire, until eventually I got angry and shut both of their jaws with my power. That shut them up. I smiled sweetly before announcing my excuse. "Um, shouldn't we do this when Edward is away? I can do that and you can sort this all out without me."

Alice and Esme both gave me death glares, and then worked their jaws against my power. They broke my hold pretty quickly, and then grinned wickedly. "Bella," Esme said innocently, "didn't Edward tell you he was having a guy's night out?"

"So we have you all of today – and we will make this even worse for you after _that." _ Her voice was just as innocent as Esme, but slightly biting at the end as she pointed to her jaw.

I was in for it.

888

A lot of tasting, touching, trying and smelling later and Alice and Esme finally let me go.

Alice had managed to use some quite colourful language without actually saying any swear words as she forced the dress over my head. Esme still gave her a few rueful glances, but said nothing else as a lot of those glances got transferred to me.

The dress trial (I hadn't watched as she pinned and pricked the dress to stay up after it almost fell off the first time) someone how turned into an intervention-like meeting as the two vampires held my hands and assured me I was beautiful and gorgeous and I did not need to diet. Alice made the point of gesturing to herself and saying that I actually had a choice whether I wanted to look forever like an anorexic. I had grumbled and eventually explained my reasoning – my worry about what happened to fat particles and my wish to be one of the only female vampires with abs.

That had spurted a few giggles, and soon we were all giggling, and I kind of felt lighter.

We celebrated my breakthrough by going downstairs where I was bombarded by food that Esme had cooked and demanded I try. She had made four different cakes, four types of mini quiches, an antipasto platter, lasagne, beef bourguignon, pizza scrolls, stuffed peppers, dolmades, four different types of homemade ice cream, and like twenty bite-sized appetizers – most of which I didn't know the names of.

Esme had just finished heating up the mini-quiches when I realized she intended to make me try each and every scrap of food.

I stopped her, putting my hand over the start button as she approached the microwave with her bowl of beef bourguignon. "Esme, I seriously doubt I will be able to eat all that."

Esme frowned. "Bella, do not make excuses on not eating any longer, you're skinny enough."

I rolled my eyes, biting back a groan and fidgeting while she talked. It felt rude, but I didn't like the sympathy-eating-disorder thing they seemed to be adopting. "Esme, it is not that I do not want to eat it. I mean, it looks all really yummy and I want to try every single one, I just don't think I'll have the room." I had an idea.

"Then take a bite and throw the rest out."

I gawked, gasping. "That is such a waste! This food is too amazing for the bin," I had swiped a quiche already. "And if I do manage to fit it all in, all the ones I eat last will taste seven times worse than it would if I had eaten it first. Hunger is the best sauce and I have a theory that fullness maybe one of the worst."

"Where are you going with this?" Alice asked. She had moved soundlessly from the end of the bench – nose scrunched and distancing herself from the 'foul smelling human-food' – to stand at my side. Had they heard my plan in my voice?

"I was just thinking of a group of people who could help with the taste-testing."

Esme and Alice both sighed at once. "Bella," Alice sounded exasperated. "You know the wolves won't eat anything cooked by one of us – they expect us to lace each bite with enough poison to down an elephant."

I had never considered myself translucent or readable – did they really see right through me? Well, they didn't see this. "Who said they had to know you cooked it? If it smells slightly vampiric I'll just say I borrowed you plates and cooked it myself. Or bought it, I don't know if they'll believe I managed to cook this!" I emphasized by snatching a different flavoured mini-quiche and taking a greedy bite; sun-dried tomato. I think I moaned a little, "So good."

Esme looked like she would be blushing if she were human, grinning with the compliment. "Okay Bella... but how are you going to get it all to your house. I don't think the wolves would be particularly eager to sample 'your' food here."

"We'll sort that out later," Alice quipped. "We need her to do some more." I was a 'her' now apparently.

Alice dragged me off while I grabbed two dolmades.

I had to smell a bunch of different flowers, try on a bunch of different shoes, have my hair done six different ways, and get smattered with three different make-up styles, a rather forceful scrubbing in between.

Well, at least they were thorough. I tried to just zone out through most of it, like I had done in my previous life.

Wow, I hadn't thought of that for... ever. I had a sudden flash of my previous mother doing this to me, transforming me into something beautiful, like an excited child playing with her new doll, or closer to a playful kitten who isn't aware how sharp her claws are as she plays with her owner's hand. Alice and Esme were both extremely careful, I had only been prodded by a few needles and my face felt a little raw from her brand of make-up remover. The love I felt for the two bloomed and I found myself reaching out and grasping at them, forcing the two into a spontaneous hug.

Alice had been removing some eyebrow liner (I never used it myself) and Esme had been holding a set of earrings to my left lobe, ruffling my hair over the top to see what it would look like without actually putting it in. They knew I had a strange phobia of sharing earrings, and even though they were vampires that still applied.

Both were thoroughly surprised by the hug, and the glassiness of my eyes as I announced, "God I love you guys, I don't say it enough."

After a moment's hesitation – lingering shock I guess – the two hug me back, assuring that they loved me too. I bit back my tears, not wanting to ruin each woman's designer clothing, and instead enjoyed the short moment, leaning back a few seconds later.

"Aw, group hug, can I join?" another bell-like voice sounded behind.

I stifled the semi-automatic frown that wanted to form onto my face. I hadn't spent much time with Izzy, and certainly not enough to change my first impressions of her – most of which had my internal voice snarling and bearing teeth at the potential home wrecker. As always though my acting was good enough to make Izzy think my smile for her was genuine happiness at seeing her.

She was so automatically trusting and sweet and loyal... did she at all suspect not everyone was so cheery inside? Along with her strange shyness that made conversation with her slow, and her masochistic selflessness I found her irritating and almost hazardous. I'd been relayed some of that bad luck she seemed to have, and her stubborn qualities, so while not experiencing them myself I thought that too could irk me.

So why when the girl beamed and moved to hug me did I hug her back, did I strain against the genuine smile that did want to show?

Was I too being taken up by some strange Izzy-voodoo everyone in the books seemed to be entranced by? I couldn't decide whether it was a good thing or not. I knew my despising her was irrational, she hadn't really done anything wrong, but opening up to her, letting this stranger that still had the potential to ruin my life past my emotional barrier, my protecting walls?

When her small arm, cold and hard, wrapped around my waist to settle around the other two vampires, when she squeezed a touch too hard and gasped, immediately apologizing, I realized maybe the voodoo wasn't a bad thing. I didn't need the anger and jealousy stirring inside me anyway, didn't want to cause a stomach ulcer or whatever.

I let the fake smile drop, and pushed aside the snarling, all too suspicious voice inside me to make way for the smaller, happy, open-minded girl who wanted to know Izzy and was happy that by my taking of her life she didn't seem to have been affected too much adversely.

888

Jacob sounded odd, wary, when I invited him and a few other Quileutes over to my place. I could understand why he would feel awkward if it were just himself, he hadn't been to Forks in weeks, and I thought it would be quadruple awkward for most of the pack members who had only been to the neighbouring town on average twice annually.

I could explain the wariness too; he was wondering why I was inviting the whole pack – were the Cullens intending to ambush the wolves? A little of the suspicion dropped when I asked if Seth could come as well along with Quil, Embry, and Paul. He knew I would never want to hurt Seth.

When the five wolves came, along with Billy, I started to doubt whether it was a good idea. My house was not as small as Jake's, but with all the height and width of the wolves (Billy was not short either) it was starting to feel cramped and hot. The oven that was continuously heating up the finger food didn't help, and neither did the pots on the stove.

The section of the pack in my house looked ready to pounce on the food, the only thing stopping them was a small crinkle in their noses and a knowing look past between. I rolled my eyes and then I explained, "I borrowed the plates from Esme."

The nodded, immediately grinning as they guessed they were safe from the threat of poison. I had kept my explanation vague; it felt wrong to claim I had cooked the almost too wonderful food. I was a good cook, but not _that _good.

The wolves started to advance on the plates and I growled at them. "Hey, no eating yet – go on, sit down," I gestured to the lounge room. They grumbled, and Jake tried to snatch at one of the unknown appetizers that I had forgotten as soon as Esme taught me the names. I slapped at his am and glared as he smirked.

I came carrying the two heavy platters; the boys looked like starved animals, almost snatching at the food as I walked. I placed them on the table and watched as the seagulls massed; flapping their wings as they tried to grab at the limited amount of fries you had thrown on the beach. I giggled at the mental image of Jake with a beak.

I brought the other platters out; amazed that one dish was already empty. As I placed the new plates down I took a piece before they were all gone, sitting on the armrest beside Jacob while I watched the guys stuff their faces.

"Oh god, Bella, this is so good," Embry groaned past the food in his mouth.

"I know," Paul agreed. "It's like my mouth is having an orgasm."

"Gross guys, innocent ears here," Seth complained, covering an ear with the hand not holding a fistful of pizza scrolls.

"As if Seth, we can hear your thoughts too."

Did Quil really have to enlighten me on that fact? "God didn't need to hear that," I moaned.

"Then hurry up woman and get us more food!" Paul teased, I glared but obliged.

They proceeded to inhale most of the other food; I almost thought they were going to lick the bowls I had put the beef bourguignon in. It was mildly revolting, so I decided to leave the room to clean the dishes.

After washing the last plate I walked into the room. They guys were watching some baseball game, rubbing at their stomachs in appreciation.

"Okay guys," I announced my arrival. They looked up, tired grins or contentment. "I need you to tell me which one you liked the best."

"I knew there was an ulterior motive," Jacob teased, patting the infinitely small pace beside him. Months ago I may have taken that space, the space that would cause me to be sitting on him rather than beside him. I did not now. I had to distance myself, and as much as it hurt me as well as him, I shook my head – taking the votes.

The guys liked the pizza scrolls and the cookie-dough ice-cream the best.

"I mean that was amazing, when did you learn to cook like that?" The compliment by Quil almost seemed a bit stretched, like he was trying to bribe me into inviting him over for future occasions like this.

Of course, the compliment was wrongly directed, and I bowed my head as I admitted my lie by omission. "I, um... didn't actually make these. Esme Cullen did."

There was swearing and groans and I heard 'poison' being said a couple times. Paul actually started to shake, like he would take me out before whatever was in the food took him.

I rolled my eyes again. "You really think I would ever serve you guys something that was poisoned? Your metabolism would have burned it off anyway," Paul tensed again, "not that that means it is poisoned. It wasn't – I even ate some myself. God guys, when will you see that the Cullens are not threat to you if you! You hate them when to them you guys are only a threat to them. They do not want to hurt any of you, hurt anyone at all in fact. Do you think they are vegetarian's vampires for convenience? Because it's easier to kill an animal than a human and not get caught? No, they are good people... I wish you guys would see that."

The guys were quiet, brooding, as I spoke – excepting Seth who seemed to be discreet in the fact that he was agreeing with me. He even nodded once, and then stopped the motion quickly, looking at his hands in his lap.

The rest started looking angry after I'd finished, glaring at me. "Bella, we know their kind, they are not as controlled as you think," Paul's was battling to stay calm.

I found the statement slightly hypocritical past the blatant insult. His words spurred anger in me, and before I could reign my mouth in I was snarling, "You're one to talk, Paul."

Paul's started to shake more, a growl in his throat. I was sneering at him, his actions proved my words; while at the same time I worked quickly to hold off his phase with my gift. I did want to keep my face.

Embry and Quil moved to restrain the enraged teen, Seth looked apologetic, and Jake stood to move protectively towards me.

"You're the one who can't control yourself, Bella," Paul spat. He was straining against Embry and Quil now, the tendons in his neck bulging. "Look at you! You can't control your own anger! You can even control your own love life! You know you're going to choose the vampire, you already have! So why do you still string Jake along! You're dangerous Bella, and not just physically. God help us all when you become a leech."

He stopped straining against his holders, standing up and storming out of the house. Quil and Embry followed as if he may turn around and rip my throat out. Seth stayed for a second, and then shook his head, following after them.

I was too shocked to interpret the emotion in his eyes. I felt like I was about to faint, or fall, or both. I felt dizzy, and my stomach was churning painfully, but it had nothing on the guilt and self-loathing that was surging though me now. Because Paul's words were bluntly, intuitively true. I was not good; I did hurt people, and just continued to hurt them. One of the most injured was the boy – no, man – at my side, watching me worriedly with unmasked love I his eyes.

I wanted to gouge that emotion out so that it would not hurt him any longer. He knew the angry werewolf's words were just as true as I did. I found myself vainly using my gift in him, trying to find the source of his stupid laugh so I could pull it out.

Of course love wasn't something physical, and I found myself laughing hysterically at my own stupidity, tears of pain leaking out of my eyes as my knees collapsed. Jake caught me before I bashed my head on the side of the table, pulling me to his body.

The tears flowed faster, and I found a burst of annoyance taking hold of me. I growled at him, pushing him away as I snarled, "Paul's right. You need to go. I'm just hurting you. Just go, I don't want you to see me any longer."

"But Bella," Jake said, pain and rejection turning his features into an anguished mask. His mouth and brows were pulled in strange directions; the expression looked physically painful itself.

More hate at myself surged, and I unconsciously let that hate seep into my words as I spat at him, "Get out!"

"Bella," Jake whispered.

"GET OUT!" I screamed, my command marred slightly by how my voice rose at the end and the tears flowed faster. "Go before I hurt you anymore," I murmured.

Jake turned and walked out, back stiff. He turned at the door, his face looked like he was being tortured, but his eyes burned with anger as he glared at me. "You already are," he hissed and slammed the door behind him.

I cried harder, curling into a ball as I listened to the pained howls outside, listening as they slowly grew quieter as they ran, ran away, and ran away from me.

_Its better this way, _I thought, _better that he stays away. _

I repeated these words until I finally started to believe them, they recurred in my head like a mantra, imprinting into my mine. _It's better this way._

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><p><strong>Aw, poor Jacob, I hate hurting him. I'm writing his POV now, in the Jacob Book of Breaking dawn (just started) and I really wish I could get over the bad chapters and start to make him happy. Yes, there will be a happy ending for Jake, there has to be. <strong>

**So, next chapter is epilogue, then the big reveal of Riding Down her Road. I really love that all you guys have stayed with me on this journey, from the first book to this third, and I hope you'll all be there to read the ending (once I write it).**

**I'm going to try and finish the series before the breaking Dawn movie comes out (which will be hard), and you all know that reviewsd make me write faster.**

**So review please, pretty pretty please. You know I love them so much.**


	33. Epilogue

**I'm sorry for the wait guys, I know I said three days. The thing is we're hosting a Taiwanese student, so it's harder for me to write and update. Still, here's the chapter, the very last one. I think I wrapped up everything in eclipse, this is the graduation.**

**So, read on!**

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><p>32. Epilogue<p>

"Bells, can we talk for a sec?"

I looked back at my father, confused at the seriousness in his tone.

I had just finished cleaning up our plates. I placed the last rinsed plate on the drying rack, turning and placing my hands to either side so I could lean against the bench.

Charlie looked slightly embarrassed, his Adam's apple was bobbing as he swallowed and his cheeks and ears were tinged red. He was looking away from me, at his feet.

"Yeah, sure Dad," I said, smiling in encouragement. I was curious as to what had caused such a display in my father – he usually only got this embarrassed when he was getting emotional.

"Here's the gist of it, Bella." Charlie flushed deeper, taking a breath before forcing his words out faster than was customary for him. Maybe I'm just being superstitious, but I have this ... hunch. I feel like I'm about to lose you soon."

"Aw, Dad," I moved from the sink to go over and hug him, masking my face from the guilt I felt. I would be leaving him soon. "It is graduation today."

"Just promise one thing," he pulled me closer.

"Anything, Dad," I mumbled against his shoulder.

"Will you tell me before you do anything major? Before you run off with him or something?"

God... and I was telling him tonight. Why did he have to get so intuitive today? "Dad..."

"I'm serious. I won't kick up a fuss. Just give me some advance notice. Give me a chance to hug you goodbye."

I grinned widely, feeling the tingling of possible tear-fall at the back of my eyes. But Alice would kill me if I cried before she could get to me – she was coming to help me get ready. "I might hold you to that," I made it sound teasing, but I was truthful. I would hold it to him in an annoyingly short amount of hours.

"Thanks, Bella. I love you, kid."

"I love you too, Dad."

Alice knocked on the door, calling out in her sing-song voice, just as I embraced him tighter. My eyes narrowed – she little pixie had been standing out there all along, I'd bet any amount of money.

I composed myself before letting go of Dad. I had no idea how he might explain my glaring at the pixie in his own mind, best let him think nothing and suspect no one. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, giggling as his blush deepened. "See you on the other side; I'll be the life-sized Barbie doll beside the faerie."

Charlie chuckled as I ran to open the door for Alice, who had her hands on her hips and was glaring at me. "I do not appreciate being called a fairy," she whisper-yelled.

"Oh, should I have called you an eavesdropping pixie?"

Alice's anger dropped, turning to a sad expression, dangerously bordering on sympathy. I don't like sympathy. "I'm spry you'll have to leave Charlie, Bella, but it kind of comes with this," she gestured to her perfect little body.

I shook my head vigorously. "I don't have to leave him completely – there's always email and letters. Hey, I might even be able to Photoshop some pictures for him or use a really blurry camera for Skype."

Alice grinned at me, "What a resourceful friend you are." She stepped inside, taking my hand. "But we must not dally. I have work to do." With that she whizzed me upstairs, dragging me at just conceivable human pace and calling to Charlie on the way up. Charlie responded illiterately, waving behind his head and mumbling. I knew his eyes were back to being focused on the TV.

888

I loved Alice, I really did. I would have been running around not knowing what to wear and not having enough time to do it all in. Talking to Charlie, as well as making him a special breakfast – I was buttering him up for what I was going to reveal later, bacon eggs and sausages couldn't hurt – and cleaning up afterwards had taken an astonishing amount of time. I would have been late if not for the mini fashion-guru.

She had me in a white, knee length, pencil skirt, pairing it with a light blue, ruffled, wrist length blouse that she had tucked under the skirt at the waist. I had on white pumps that stretched my shins, making my legs look amazingly long.

She had lined my eyes and made them slightly smoky, adding a touch of the same blue as my skirt around my eyes. It made my sapphire eyes pop a little, especially when rimmed by thick, long lashes. In fact, they almost looked fake. I wondered if Alice had gotten one of those strange mascaras that added a weird plastic on top of the lashes and actually extended them. My lips were covered in a clear sheen of gloss.

Alice had then just slightly curled my hair into waves to frame my face, and pulled my fringe back, pinning it to the top of my head in a slight bouffant.

"Alice," I said, after admiring her work for a good few minutes.

"I know, I'm a genius," she said, grinning and stepping beside me, wrapping her arm around my waist. She was wearing some more killer heels so it didn't look like she was a dwarf beside me, only a slightly smaller person.

But still, when she stepped beside me I felt my previously high self esteem drop. She was gorgeous, perfect, and graceful without motion in her silky, pink dress that flowed from her thin waist. It was fringed with chocolate lace. She looked curvy and delicate and borderline doll-like. Well, if technology ever greatened enough to create such a perfect toy.

"Cheer up, Bella! Edward will be here soon," Alice misinterpreted the slight pout that had formed on my lips.

I smiled down at her in reassurance. She rolled her eyes at something on my face and grabbed one of the two horrid yellow graduation gowns from my bed. Alice had somehow managed to fit the robe in her bag, despite it being thicker (it was practical in some senses, Forks was cold). I too grabbed the hideously toned robe and followed her down stairs.

Charlie walked out from the couch as he heard the clack of my heels coming down the wooden stairs. He smiled as he saw me, camera at the ready in his hand. "Aw, doesn't my little girl look all grown up and business-like. You put that robe on before Edward comes," he ordered teasingly, but it had a hint of a threat in it. Really, he thought I looked that good in this? I had thought I looked mature, ready for an office – well, maybe a fashion-y office with the un-businesslike shoes.

Charlie snapped a few pictures of me, and then of me and Alice, then Alice took some of him and me. Then I put the if-vomit-was-yellow coloured robe over my head, grimacing as I did.

Alice tutted at me and fixed my hair, I tried to slap away her hands but she deftly avoided my blows while Charlie watched with amusement. I poked my tongue out at him, which made him chuckle.

"I'm going to miss you, Bells," Charlie said.

"You're not kicking me out already are you?" I teased, hiding the pain that caused me. It felt like I had only just gotten a real father, and soon I would have to give him up. I was glad I hadn't spent too much time with Renee, at least then I'll have less of her to miss.

"No kid, but you'll be off to college soon, and then a job, then a husband and kids, in that order," Charlie did that teasing but I'm really serious thing again. God, he's going to be terrible.

"I'm not responding to that," I said.

Charlie grinned tightly at that – yes, it would definitely be hard to break the news to him today.

Edward arrived soon after, wearing his own butt-ugly robe and somehow still looking hot in it. I envied him, envied Alice who looked equally as stunning. Well, at least Rosalie and Esme weren't graduating this year – I wouldn't have been able to go through that and still think myself pretty in the slightest.

Edward teased me about the robe when he moved to wrap his arm around my waist, whispering the teasing in my ear about how he felt short. It was funny being this height, I felt like I should duck at the doorway. I was too tall to wear heels too often, and I definitely hadn't had the opportunity often in Forks. As it was I had to walk on the balls of my feet so as to not get my heel stuck in the mud. Alice somehow flitted over the mud to her car without getting stuck or even make more than the faintest of footprints. I cursed the town for raining the morning of graduation, for Alice not allowing me to wear flats.

Edward had to sit in the back of the police cruiser on the drive to the school. Charlie had enforced at least that law when it came to me, and I obliged happily. I wanted to give Charlie as many fatherly experiences as I could before I left.

Charlie had a bemused expression on his face the whole ride, an expression that got rejuvenated everything he looked through the rear-view mirror to see Edward in the back. Edward was trying to hide his own smirk to whatever Charlie was thinking. I could guess what it was along the lines of, the way his gaze sometimes flickered to the handcuffs at his belt.

Edward, always the gentlemen, helped me out of the front, lifting me up and over the water at the gutter and the muddy puddle currently ruining his shoes and lifted me up onto the concrete path. The parking lot had been inexplicably full when we arrived. I never thought I would see the day when the tiny population of Forks would grow enough to fill that lot that had always seemed a touch over-the-top. I guessed this was why it was the size it was.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I quickly tried to feel how my face was arranged, what expression was revealing my emotions. It was the nerves that were showing, and I explained as much. Edward nodded in understanding; he had probably already planned his speech to say to Charlie. I was more than happy to let him lead in this particular venture.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered, still holding my waist after helping me from the car.

Edward looked like he was about to say more, hopefully in encouragement to calm the butterflies in my stomach. Charlie, however, seemed to unknowingly want to keep me jittery, because he shrugged between us and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. He didn't really know how to be subtle.

"Are you excited?" he asked.

"A little," not for graduation, and more worried than excited about announcing my engagement.

"A little?" he sounded exasperated. "Bella, this is a big deal. You're graduating, from high school. It's the real world for your now: college, living on your own... You're not my little girl anymore." Charlie's voice sounded gruffer towards the end.

I wrapped my hand around his waist, squashing my cheek on his shoulder (I had to bend down) and sighing. "You knew I wouldn't be forever."

"Well, I can dream, right?"

"Sure Dad, as much as you want," those god-awful tears started to make an appearance again, and one escaped before I could stop it. Alice smiled at me from across the lot, not panicking like a harpy that I was ruining her makeup. She must have used waterproof. How did she know I would cry? It wasn't in my nature, despite the sudden appearance of tears in the last few weeks.

I was grateful none-the-less, and with one last squeeze and tear I pushed Charlie away, telling him to go get as good of a seat as he could find. Charlie did as he was told, snapping a picture of my and Edward watching him go, hand in hand.

Ms. Cope and Mr. Varner tried to line everyone up in alphabetical order. Some of the other previously bitchy teachers were there, and they sneered at me from afar until they passed by me and I sneered down at them. None were tall enough to stand eye to eye with me, apparently Angela had worn flats. I glared at Alice where she stood near the front of the line. She grinned and shrugged. I felt like a giant.

Jessica waved at me as Mr Varner barked at Edward to join his sister. I smiled and hurried to her, glad the ground underfoot was hard.

Jess was already chatting by the time I got there. I noticed how a bunch of the people watched me as I walked – did they think I was about to fall? "It's so amazing. It feels like we've only been together for a couple of weeks and now we're graduating. Can you believe it's over? I feel like screaming!"

"That wouldn't be a very good valedictorian speech, though it would be pretty memorable."

She shook her head, looking up at me. Jess was sporting her own heels, but she only just reached my shoulder. "Gosh, Bella, did you have to wear heels? I mean, you look like a model and all, but couldn't you leave a little of the spotlight for us all?"

I detected jealousy in her tone. I wasn't taking the spotlight, I knew all the eyes would be either on Alice or Edward, well, and all the eyes that weren't on the parents own children. Then I grinned as enlighten meant hit me, and I slipped off the heels, placing them in a dry area, and grinned at the gawking little vampire up front.

It suited me better to not wear shoes, when I was a vampire and didn't have to worry about glass or particularly pointy sticks I don't think I'll ever wear shoes.

Jess was gawking, but then she grinned. "Oh Bella," she sighed, but sounded happier. I grinned down at her, yeah I was still taller.

Jess started babbling again. "This is all so incredible. Do you remember your first day here? We were friends, like, right away. From the first time we saw each other. And now I'm off to California and you'll be in Alaska and I'm going to miss you so much, Lauren too! You have to promise me we'll get together sometimes. We all haven't spent enough time together. We should hold a real graduation party!"

"You did hold a pretty rocking party – too bad it was ruined by the drugs."

Jessica babbled about party details then, firstly about how she hadn't meant to have the drugs but she wished she could get more after what had happened that night and...

I zoned out. Then Jess was called up, and made a surprisingly amazing speech.

"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were thing like astronaut, president, or in my case... princess.

When we were ten, they asked again and we answered – rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medallist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how 'bout this: who the hell knows?

This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions; it's time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love – a lot. Major in philosophy 'cause there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent.

So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be... we won't have to guess. We'll know."

And it did not change my mind, worry me. Her speech was beautiful, inspiring, but it did not make me think this was a mistake. No, this was the best decision I was ever going to make in my life. I would be a vampire – I needed to be a vampire, and I wanted to as well.

I was still thinking about her speech, mind reeling on thoughts of my change, of what I will miss and what I will _gain. _There was a good thing about being immortal, I could make almost as many mistakes as I wanted, career, education, volunteer work, and didn't have to worry about wasting my life, wasting other opportunities.

Because my mind was occupied I didn't notice everyone was moving to grab their diplomas until they called my name. "Isabella Swan," Principal Greene called - his voice blank and emotionless.

I was aware of cheering from the back of the gym, my father's voice and Billy's, both standing at the same height side by side. Another stood beside them, clapping, but his face was not encouraging, not proud, and not happy. It was heartbreakingly sad. I sucked in a breath, pulling my eyes from his deep, sad black ones.

I stood from my chair, waiting for my turn. Mr Greene finished calling the names before we arrived, and he smiled as he talked to those in front of me as we filed past to grab our paper work from Ms. Cope.

He didn't not glare at me as I passed, but instead of a whispered congratulations he gave me what sounded like a quiet, "Good riddance, Miss Swan."

I ignored him, smiling at Ms. Cope as I took the diploma from his hand. Ms. Cope had been one of the good ones in the staff, not a teacher but an office lady, and had always given me a sorry smile as I passed her to go to the Principal's office.

I stood with Jessica in the assembled graduates. Lauren had joined us, and I waited for Angela before I saw Alice and Edward approaching.

But before I could move to them all the graduates were down in the crowd, and Mr Green murmured something that everyone responded to by throwing up their hats. Mine flew straight up, landing in my hands as it fell back down.

"Oh, Bella," blubbered Jess over the sudden roar of conversation. "I can't believe it's over, we're done!" She threw her arms around my neck in a surprising hug. "You have to promise we won't lose touch."

I dodged her request. "I'm so glad that I met you, Jessica. It's been a good two years."

"It was," she sniffled, moving back so Lauren could repeat the gesture.

Angela and Ben were already surrounded by their family, but Angela caught sight of me, and I mouthed 'Congratulations' and pointed to her and Ben. She nodded, pointing back to me, mouthing, 'You too'.

"Congratulations," a silky voice whispered in my ear. I grinned and turned, Edward wrapped an arm protectively around my waist.

"Thanks," I whispered, then sighed. "Let's go find Charlie, I think we've put it off long enough. Alice wanted to send the invitations out a week ago."

Edward grinned and started to move, weaving us deftly though the crowd to my father.

"Bella," Charlie yelled when he saw us, starting to move before he realized we were almost beside him. He grinned, trying to subtly pry Edward away from me with a hug. I hugged him with one arm, refusing to release my hold on Edward. "Congratulations, baby," he said after, looking a touch annoyed by my refusal to let him remove me from Edward.

"Thank you, Dad. You know, I should probably be just as thankful to you, without you stepping in I wouldn't have had the grades to graduate!"

He chuckled, "Aw, Bella, it was your smarts that got the grades in the first place. Those teachers would've given up sooner or later anyway."

"Jacob and Billy had to take off – did you see they were here."

"Oh yes, I most definitely saw them." Jake's anguished face seemed to be forever burned into my memory now, like it had been branded painfully into my memory."I heard them too!"

"It was nice of them to show up. Oh yeah, and Jake asked me to give you this, a graduation present – to 'remember him by'." Charlie used air quotations. Then he dug around in his pocket, pulling out a little woollen bag. He moved it over my hands, opening the bag over my warily outstretched hand.

In it dropped a silver bracelet connected to one charm – one beautiful wooden charm carved out of a piece of russet wood. It sent a stab of pain though me, right to all the most sensitive parts. It was a perfect little wolf, it looked exactly like him. A tear fell from my face onto the palm of my hand, a diamond of water beside the wolves face. I slipped it onto my wrist, smiling past the tears in my eyes.

"The boy looked pretty sad when he gave it to me; you should cut him some slack Bella."

"Yeah, um... Dad, can we go somewhere a little more private?"

Charlie was immediately suspicious from the tone in my voice. "What for?" he asked warily.

"You know how you asked me to give you notice this morning?"

"Yeah," Charlie was starting to turn red.

"Well, the thing is, I'm giving you notice now. So you can't get mad, or throw a fit, or throw anything else for that matter. Dad, be calm okay? Edward and I are getting married."

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><p><strong>Oh, little cliffhanger, how will Charlie react? (Okay, not a cliffhanger at all, you guys know how he reacts from the books)<strong>

**That's it guys. I'd feel sad, but I know I'm just about to get onto the Breaking Dawn. I hope you'll all join but before you do, please review. You know we're almost at two hundred! I thank all those people who take the time to give feedback. I love every single review like it's a packet of M&Ms and that's probably the highest compliment I can give ;)**

**So review guys, the more reviews I get, the sooner I'll post Breaking Dawn (I'll find a way to escape from the Taiwanese student)**


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